Extended breastfeeding - are you 'normal'?

[nomoreminibreaks]

Before having DS (17mo), I had always planned to breastfeed and hadn't really thought about how long I would do it for. I figured 'not too long' as I'd seen documentaries about extended breastfeeding and they always seemed to feature women who I didn't identify with - more lentil weaving types.

I never had the common reaction of disgust at the idea of BFing a 3/4+ year old but just didn't put myself into that category - I'm pretty mainstream when it comes to most things.

But now DS is getting older I feel more and more wary about people knowing I still BF him as I know people don't see me as the 'type' for EBF.

It makes me wonder - are there secretly loads of us out there who sit back and let the more principled, lentil weaving types speak for us in public, thus distorting the view of women who choose EBF?

I fed ds until 22months - I'd had enough by then. He refused bottles totally & I'd got my self in a tiz as he wasn't latching on properly. Got there after a few weeks.
Fed Dd until 34 months - went away for a week & hoped she'd naturally stop - she asked a few times once I was home but I didn't oblige.
I'm not lentily at all.
Family & 'friends' kept asking when I'd stop from 6months with one person especially making a big deal of asking every time we met. Bloody rude !
'd'h would always keep on saying when you stopping as he believed my boobs belonged to him

My dp is very happy for me to still be bf dd2 at 2y6m. It means I do bedtimes every night and when she wakes up a stupid o'clock every morning she can just climb into bed with us and have booby rather than one of us needing to get up with her, family dozing is fairly nice

He has said we'll need to wean her by the time she goes to school but she'll be about 4 and a half by then so it's entirely possible that she'll have done it by herself (I hope, I can't imagine how I would manage to wean her without her cooperation)

Ahem!

I think it's fine to be a lentil weaving hippy if you want to be, I had dreams of lentil weaving when dd2 was tiny, then life and work got in my way. I just don't like the assumption that the only people who bf to term are lentil weaving hippies. Most of us are fairly average mums who just do what we think is best for our family.

I second that jodidi. I used to boycott nestle, want to use cloth nappies, spent ages trying to source everything from responsible sources and with as little packaging as possible, even stopped buying gap jeans(!) but I just cannot be arsed to do any of it now! EBF is the only claim to lentil weaving I have

I suspect claiming to be normal would have me strongly contradicted by many posters

But I'm still bf dd at 2.8 and have never weaves a lentil.

Don't think I've ever eaten a lentil, or bought one, and I'm certainly not crafty. If I tried to weave one there would be tears and tantrums.

I'm an accidental lentil weaver.

I didn't realise until it was pointed out to me that the sum of certain traits of mine = lentil weaver (still bf & co-sleep with a nearly 3 yo, did blw, I knit, I'm more or less vegan, never wear heels - or shoes, if I can get away with it, I love a good rummage in a charity shop, camping, festivals etc).

The name change was a tongue-in-cheek reaction to that observation - I've no intention of growing dreadlocks in my armpits & going to live on a commune. Despite all of the above I consider myself fairly normal - it's a bit of a shame that the aggressive fundamentalist ebf-ers steal all the bf limelight, I'm sure it puts a lot of 'normal' women off even starting, especially the younger ones.

Oh dear lentil, you've just described me except I crochet rather than knit and don't go to festivals as there are too many people. It would appear I'm an accidental lentil weaver too

Ha ha! See Jodidi, it's a slippery slope - just look where a bit of yarn-based craft & lazy attachment parenting can lead to!

I think I'm pretty normal, although I do knit too. Still feeding at 13 months and just don't see any need to stop until dd2 wants to. I started out, too, with ideas about when I was going to stop (6 months, teeth, 12 months, walking) but when its come to it they've seemed pretty arbitary reasons to stop something that was working so well.
I've never really understood why people would feel the need to approve or disapprove of how someone else feeds their baby

I'm still bf-ing my 12mo DD despite having initially thought I'd switch to formula at 6 months, then planned to stop at 12 months... The reality is I love feeding her, she loves her milk, and she's a terrible sleeper so carrying her to our bed and plugging her into the boob gets me more sleep! I've realised, reading this post, that I too am an accidental lentil weaver of sorts... I bf, cosleep, have recently switched to cloth nappies, try to buy organic, knit (or did before I had DD!) and as of June have become a SAHM. BUT my former life / real/other self is a corporate lawyer, loving the high heels, smart suits, and late nights (in the office usually rather than a bar).... So maybe i am an underground/closet lentil weaver?! I think it's true that before you start bf-ing, you think it will be odd to carry on beyond a certain point, whereas once you're into the boob groove, you realise it would seem odd to stop. I am hoping to stop before she's 2 though! (or 18 months as I told DH...)

Ds is still bf at 16mo. I think my limit is tandem feeding, but I'm beginning to rethink that one too. Dc2 still unconceived so we'll cross that bridge if we are lucky enough come to it!

I am not lentil weavery. I don't wear heels often but live in jeans and baggy t-shirts, much like a teenager. I'm 26, so at the younger end of extended bf according to the stats. I went back to part time work before Ds was a month old.

We have never coslept, did controlled crying at 7 months, baby led weaned because it was easier and used a pram/buggy a lot.

We have done babywhisperer routines since DS was 3 months. We own two cars and we watch cbeebies regularly.

We do recycle, but it is because I know how much landfilling costs the council and I don't want my council tax to go any higher.

Ds and I both eat spicy foods regularly, and I drink alcohol pretty often. I could never be veggy because I love meat too much.

I was adamant that I was going to bf and I'm glad I persevered despite 7 months of bleeding nipples and various other problems.

Ds is partly bf because of the health benefits to us both, but it is mostly because I have bloody huge boobs. I felt like I HAD to bf for a long time because otherwise wtf was the point in carrying these ginormous boulders around with me for years and spending a fortune on large bras.

I BF DD until she was 4.6 yrs, weaning her with a Christmas tree sticker chart and an air plant fairy decoration as a reward (which she chose herself )

I BF DS until his sixth birthday by escaping for a few days hols to The Lakes with a friend - highlight of which was a trip to see the Quaker tapestry

Clearly then I not only love lentils - can rustle up a mean dahl
but am also a tapestry and weaving afficionado.

Next project is actually weaving with the lentils

Oh yes, and also did co-sleeping, slings, and listening to them in quite a major way So, basically not a Gina Ford disciple !

jolly the huge boobs thing was one of the reasons I was determined to bf, there had to be a reason why I had these basketballs on my front from the age of 13, so feeding babies seemed like the proper thing to do. I was 20 when I was bf my dd1, so was even younger than you. I'm amazed at going back to work before ds was a month though, I was gutted when I had to go back when dd2 was 6 months.

Starballbunny I'd love to know how old your DD was when she gave up but appreciate your reasons for not telling.(I'm guessing 8) My 4.5 yr old DD1 is highly strung too and very attached to breastfeeding much more so than DD2 has ever been. If I hadn't recently decided to encourage her towards weaning I truly can't imagine a day she would have ever self-weaned.

I like to think of myself as 'normal' - wear leather (shoes!), eat meat, shop at big-name supermarket and have responsible, mainstream profession - but ...

• have a patchwork quilt on the go
• do tapestry
• would like an allotment
• like lentils
• co-sleep (when DH not around)
• plan to do ebf (DD only 7 mths but no sign of stopping and I don't mind!)

If someone offered me a job weaving on a remote island I may well take them up on it...

HATE it that people think it is acceptable to comment on how long I intend to continue.
Take great pleasure in continuing to BF in front of MIL!!!

I think I give the appearance of being normal even if I'm not.

If becoming a parent has taught me anything it is that I shouldn't assume that I will do parenting a certain way until I reach the point of decision. Planned to stop BF at 6mths but had absolutely no desire to do so. Planned to do controlled crying but don't.

I just follow the path of least resistance.

"I just follow the path of least resistance" ingletina

• that did make me smile

Advice? No two nipples look the same except in porn and no guy worth spending more than ten minutes naked with will ever notice, let alone give a shiny shit.

jolly tandem feeding is beautiful, toddler underneath, newborn curled on top - it brings an amazing closeness.

I managed it for a year and am hoping a few goes with my next - youngest was self weaning but has developed an obsession with my boobs now they are getting larger again with pregnancy.

Apparenty they have their own personalities, her tired and are much loved !

Gemma they shouldn't be cracked and bleeding - get thee to a breast feeding counsellor.

Tandem feeding is a very special memory of mine. I remember DS1 and DS2 feeding together and DS1 reaching over to stroke DS1's face very tenderly. He then sat up and declared that he would keep the right side and DS2 could have the left. Weirdly, DS2 has pretty much stuck to the left!

Tandem feeding is the only way I can watch TV.

I was BFing my two simultaneously - in tandem ? - for about two years, but only managed a few "both at the same time" feeds - as I found it a bit much IYKWIM

• would rather concentrate gently on one at a time. Still I think it was good to do in those early days, and so DD didn't feel pushed out and could get to know him. I guess that's why we've got two boobs

Is it still called tandem feeding when you feed them seperately ?
Seems like you'd need more than one word to describe the different experiences?