Extended breastfeeding - are you 'normal'?

[nomoreminibreaks]

Before having DS (17mo), I had always planned to breastfeed and hadn't really thought about how long I would do it for. I figured 'not too long' as I'd seen documentaries about extended breastfeeding and they always seemed to feature women who I didn't identify with - more lentil weaving types.

I never had the common reaction of disgust at the idea of BFing a 3/4+ year old but just didn't put myself into that category - I'm pretty mainstream when it comes to most things.

But now DS is getting older I feel more and more wary about people knowing I still BF him as I know people don't see me as the 'type' for EBF.

It makes me wonder - are there secretly loads of us out there who sit back and let the more principled, lentil weaving types speak for us in public, thus distorting the view of women who choose EBF?

If I didn't know all of you lot were still breastfeeding after 12 or even 6 months I think I might think I'm a freak.. DS is still feeding at 18 months, I plan to tandem feed him with new baby as long as he wants to continue but the only people I know in RL still breastfeeding have babies a good few months younger and even they seem to be viewed as unusual.

We had a very rocky start to breastfeeding - DS had silent reflux (caffeine intolerance) and and used to fight the breast amongst other problems, I've had serious nursing aversion during my pregnancy and I'm absolutely sure he has a high arched palate which often causes pain and discomfort - despite all this I can plainly see how good it is for him and I see no reason to wean until he's ready.

I think I'm pretty normal but I'm not sure everyone else would agree. Like many of you we co-sleep, baby-wear have done BLW etc, mostly because these things have just felt right. I don't even know what lentil weaving is but I do love a good tarka Dahl!

I never chose to ebf, I just never chose to make him stop.

Having said that, there's no official count of bfing. It's all very well spouting the "1% ebf to 26w" stat but since I am not officially asked if we are bf at all after the 6w check, I don't know how they claim to know.

I'm so "normal" I don't even boycott Nestle

I am normal too :) I am bf my 22 month old twins all night long, every flippin night. I also cosleep, which is also seen as a bit lentil weavery IME.

I work full time in a city, I commute on a train and I wear smart suits to work. I use nursery some days and rely on family for Childcare on other days. I shop in a supermarket and eat branded food and rather too much pre prepared food. I drive a petrol thirsty modern car and I wear high street clothes. I think I am pretty normal :)

I agree that it would be good if TV programmes about breast feeding included a wider range of people and lifestyles, but sadly it is the extreme cases that get viewers, so TV producers are not really interested in the average and normal cases. I think the biggest thing breast feeding mothers can do to normalise breast feeding (for any length of time) is to be open and honest about their experiences. Normal activities don't need TV programmes - they're normal because lots of people do them without a thought.

Yep, I fed ds til nearly 3 and plan to let littlest ds decide when to stop too. I have to say I secretly feel a bit about some of the lentil weavery bfeeders I know. One in particular hates people who use prams (yes, she actually told me she hates them for the stress they cause their babies...) and when her toddler needs feeding makes a point not to cover up and scans the room looking for people who object. I know my reaction to this is purely my problem, but it's the smug, look at me but, oh, don't you dare look at me, attitude from her that gets my goat. I know plenty of other people who feed their toddlers without the need to declare themselves iykwim.

I am very boringly normal. I bf DS until he was 2 pretty much by accident.

I do wear sandals a lot and never wear nail varnish, and used cloth nappies/did BLW but apart from that have no lentil-weavery traits at all

I didn't keep that I was breastfeeding him a secret, but I only mentioned it occasionally, when relevant. Turned out my sister hadn't realised I was still feeding when he was about 13m, and my SIL realised when he was about 18m. I was surprised that they were surprised, but it seemed pointless to try to get him to stop, it was easy and suited us both

I bf ds1 until 18 months (and only encouraged him to stop because I was pregnant, anaemic and exhausted), ds2 still going strong at 15 months and no plans to stop until he is ready. I quite like lentils, I knit rather than weave, but am otherwise normalish I think! Used sling and pram, and did a mix of BLW and purées.

I'm normal! DS is 19 months and shows no sign of stopping. If I don't offer, he asks! I don't advertise the fact though, although I will discuss it if asked :) He feeds morning, before a nap (if we're together), at bedtime, overnight. And if he feels like it during the day. He asks by poking my chest very hard.....

I don't weave or knit, do cook a fair amount from scratch and work part time. DS goes to a childminder when I work. DS starts the night in his cot and finishes in our bed. We did BLW. I have used a sling but use pushchair now or DS walks. I use disposable Huggies and use far too many baby wipes! I do recycle but am not evangelical about it. I am a litter pedant though.

I have (99%) weaned my 4.5 yr old just before she starts school. Whilst I'm from a liberal and left wing background, I'm quite conservative (small c), and love routines and feeling in control of my life. I fell into attachment parenting because I loved snuggling next to, sleeping with and carrying my babies and now my way of parenting (which encompasses positive, unconditional parenting) is like a religion for me.

I totally believe in it and contrary to what some people might think (it complements my perfectionist nature). I realise it's not for everybody. For some people AP allows them to indulge their lazy side for me it gives me a feeling of having something to aspire too and therefore I feel less at sea. Benign neglect is my idea of a nightmare- though I envy those who can do it.

I am still bf at 2.5. Too lazy to stop mainly, I never intended to go on so long, but as someone said earlier, I fed her yesterday, so why not today?

I am so not a lentil weaver, I work in construction, and do wonder what the lads on site would say if they knew.

I'm interested to know what DP/DHs think too. I asked mine what he thought of my still BFing at 17 months and he said he has no issue with it. He 'would only think it was weird if I carried on until DS was freakishly old'. When I asked what 'freakishly old' was, he said 2...

I can't explain how I feel about the idea of giving up, a little bit sad I suppose but also that I don't really see the point as its not doing any harm.

I think my DP is just glad that I can appease/cheer up/stop crying DS by sticking a boob in! And of course I do bedtimes and overnights :o

DH just thinks it is normal too. He sees only benefits and likes to surprise his workmates by outing himself as a bed sharing, term bf supporting kind of man. Until people know him well no one ever expects this of him as he doesn't look at all lentilly.

I'm not remotely lentil weavery, didn't co-sleep, use disposables, mix of purée and blw, rarely used my sling. But here I am feeding DS 2.3yo. Didn't really think about it, initially hoped to feed for six weeks minimum, but I just kept going. It's down to morning and night feeds on the days I work, with two additional feed-to-sleep naps on the days I'm at home. All totally normal, unweird and uninteresting to tv shows and tabloids!

I'm still going with DS at just shy of 2yo, I'm pregnant and DH is fully expecting DS to be teaching the Widget how to do it when its born. I asked him the other day what he really thought about me still feeding after 2 and he just shrugged his shoulders and said "Can't say it enters my head really, seems normal to me" and thats where we left it.

The only people that actively know I'm still feeding are my mum and my sister. No idea about anyone else, nobody has ever asked. I don't think MIL realises but again, its never come up in conversation and as he only feeds once or twice a day now its never an issue when she is around us.

Perfectly normal and if you do a quick search you'll find lots of us.

I've a couple of friends who fed till their DCs were 5+, DD2 feed way way beyond that (she forbids me to tell you exactly when she gave up).

I have no problem with people knowing, but she does, she didn't want to be teased. She instinctively didn't try and BF in public after she was 2 probably younger. I'm really that even a small DC picks up society's disapproval.

And it was wider societies view she picked up, family didn't say anything and two of the other babies she saw a lot off also feed past two.

This I can only come here and shout BFing AN OLDER CHILD IS NORMAL, BEAUTIFUL and YOU ARE BLESSED IF YOU HAVE A CHILD WHO WANTS TO!

Oh! and I and co sleep only occasionally, hate slings, use disposable nappies, shout, smack, refuse to pay extra for organic food, eat in Mac Donald's, shop at Tesco's and am too lazy to boycott Nestle.

I other words although I quite like lentils to eat, I can't weave them!!

I feed DS who is 2 in three weeks' time. I work almost full time and have done since he turned 1. I look reasonably normal I think , wear naice clothes, do my nails etc.

DS was still is a rubbish sleeper so that's mainly why we've carried on because it's an easy way to get him to sleep for bedtime and naps, though he has been nightweaned since about 18 months (still doesn't reliably sleep through, though). Also, I was bf myself until 2 so always thought of it as normal.

I'm going away for five nights just after his second birthday so it'll be interesting to see what happens then. I wouldn't mind stopping now but DS will probably have other ideas...

Will ask DH for his full opinion later but his previously expressed thoughts include:

I'm so proud of you.

Thank goodness we aren't dealing with bottles.

Lovely milky DS2.

... and really 99.9% of the time it makes no difference to him, except the fertility delay for ttc#3 and that I sometimes feel "touched out" by the end of the day.

He says "it is lovely; there's a reasonable limit to it though, when they get more intellectual and articulate and it gets a bit weird then".

Hmph. Not quite as totally groovy with it as I thought. Probably doesn't give it much thought.

My dh has double standard with respect to breastfeeding older children. During the day, he goes on about them not needing it, but as soon as a child is awake in the night, he's the first one to suggest feeding it!

Yes DD1 (3years older than her sister) and DH quickly realised BFing DD2 had its uses.

Sleep certainly, instant shutting up of embarrassing baby in school events, swimming lessons etc.
No need to plan round keeping formula cold or warming it. Very much easier leaving the house.

Tied mummy to sofa meaning DD1 could demand to be read to. Evening feed meant daddy did bedtime, far more fun.

Oh and did I mention sleep and instant end to crying in the night

well i was an ebf, ds1 fed till 18mths and self weaned, ds2 fed till nearly 4 yrs of age and ds3 was 3 and a half, i tandem fed twice, i also use slings and co-sleep.

but i am not lentil weavery, i have prams as well and my children get the odd mcdonalds and a fairly normal diet that includes some not so healthy stuff.

i just did what worked tbh and co-sleeping suits me as i am lazy and it was easier!

And DD1 is no fool, she understood, before it dawned on me, that feeding for so long gave her highly strung sister the security she needed to face the world.

Not that the world will ever know because DD2 only ever let's them see her clever, socially astute, confident act.