Extended breastfeeding - are you 'normal'?

[nomoreminibreaks]

Before having DS (17mo), I had always planned to breastfeed and hadn't really thought about how long I would do it for. I figured 'not too long' as I'd seen documentaries about extended breastfeeding and they always seemed to feature women who I didn't identify with - more lentil weaving types.

I never had the common reaction of disgust at the idea of BFing a 3/4+ year old but just didn't put myself into that category - I'm pretty mainstream when it comes to most things.

But now DS is getting older I feel more and more wary about people knowing I still BF him as I know people don't see me as the 'type' for EBF.

It makes me wonder - are there secretly loads of us out there who sit back and let the more principled, lentil weaving types speak for us in public, thus distorting the view of women who choose EBF?

I think I'm normal, I'm sure others would disagree

I am BF both my DDs (18mo and 3.11yo) because they like it, I find it convenient and I see no reason to stop (also, weaning sounds like hard work).

I co-sleep because I'm too lazy to get up to do the night feeds.

I did BLW because I'm too lazy to make purees (see a pattern forming here?)

I carry her around in a sling because I hate buggies; they are too hard to manoeuvre, too hard to fold up and down and I was always wrecking my nails doing it.

I think there are degrees of lentil-weavery and everyone is different. I'm sure for every parent that thinks I'm a lentil weaver there's one that thinks I'm mainstream because I think homeopathy and amber necklaces are a bunch of woo.

But TBH I'm too lazy busy to worry too much about whether other people approve or disapprove of my parenting

There was a really good blog post a couple of months ago that you might like.

That's really interesting I was under the (misguided) impression that bf was such a sacrifice - no wine, coffee, food with any flavour ! I thought extended bf must have no life except for lentil weaving ? At what age did it all become so easy and how do u manage with full time work ? ( I only managed 4 weeks last time but really hoping for better go next time !)

That's really interesting I was under the (misguided) impression that bf was such a sacrifice - no wine, coffee, food with any flavour ! I thought extended bf must have no life except for lentil weaving

Different people have different views but I have loads of personal research Into the amount of alcohol that gets Into bm and I can't find anything that says it's harmful.

Other than the first few months when yes I spent a lot of my time feeding - I pretty much lived my life as normal and I certainly never restricted my foods. Ok I didn't go out and get steaming but a few drinks was fine (and it doesn't take a lot).

BF is what you make of it - I'm lucky though in that my husband is very much of the same mind set as me and is exceptionally supportive.

Re work - I found my supply just adapted.

I'm with you EauRouge, cosleeping because I was too lazy to get up, BLW cos I couldn't be arsed with purees, using a sling because a buggy is too much hassle etc etc.

And "extended" feeding because weaning from the breast before they are ready seems like an awful lot of effort.

My DCs have just adapted to feed when I am around. I'm separated from my DCs father and recently DS2 spent 3 nights away from me and he just had a very big feed when he came home. But he only does morning and night these days, or whenever he gets the opportunity (yes, changing rooms!) and is showing no sign of stopping.

I don't talk about it much because my children are of the age now where most of my NCT group/school mum friends have moved on from the baby stage and we are too busy talking about work and stuff like flipping Biff, Kipper and Chip and exciting things like that plus, of course, no one expects me to still be feeding.

I really struggled and ds ended up with silent reflux I was told to cut everything out of my diet, also other friends had to eat v bland food they were all convinced anything spicy or wind producing or processed caused their babies to be unsettled - everyone I knew stopped around 6 months as couldn't take it any more !

My DD is 3.8 and still bf, usually once first thing in the morning, plus maybe if I sit down for too long during the day. I fed her older brother until 2yrs, I was pg and gently encouraged him to wean.

I s'pose I tick some of the boxes for lentil weavery-ness - homebirths, cloth nappies blah, but now my kids are 6 and 3 that stuff matters a lot less. And they're fully vaccinated, eat processed foods, and I've even been out to work and left them in childcare (although not at the mo).

Like Llareggub many people in RL don't know I still feed DD as they just assume we've stopped. It's not something that comes up in conversation that often... Guess I look pretty normal

Normal here, certainly mainly fuelled by caffeine, alcohol and take outs. I do like lentil dhal though:)

Do have them in our bed use, a sling, skip purees but all these seem practical choices that make life easier. Deep down I believe all they need is food, love, cuddles and whatever they mayhem in between by about 3.5 you have a child who is just as well behaved, gorgeous and great at sleeping as their peers. This believe may be less apparent when you hear me shouting at miscreant mini beasts!

Normal and fed ds till 4 and dd till 3. Coslept and sling but dd was difficult baby and now know due to undiagnosed reflux throughout. Always worked full time.

i'm not even sure what 'normal' is, but I doubt I'd fit any stereotype for breastfeeding, let alone 'extended' breastfeeding.

I go between being a crazy dog lady (show and breed Golden Retrievers) in wellies and up to my ears in mud and not giving a stuff about my appearance, to being all fake tanned and dressed to the nines. (less often than up to my ears in mud ) I have also had a fair bit of cosmetic surgery, including two boob jobs and used to be a glamour model. (when I was ^much younger and slimmer!) So, I think I am certainly out of the 'lentil weavery' category, surely?

BFing is definitely easier than formula feeding, once you are over any initial problems and it is definitely easier to carry on than it would be to stop. Not that I am 'extended' yet as I haven't even met the WHO minimum recommendation for breastfeeding.

Yes, I co-sleep, I babywear, but that's just parenting, surely? I still eat what I want, drink far too much coffee and although I don't drink on a day to day basis, I do still have to odd night out and drink far too much.

In fact, my life just carries on as normal, I just happen to also be breastfeeding my toddler.

I like lentils but don't make my own hemp sandals or knit organic horsehair underwear for the children. Did have "rules for stopping" before dd was born like someone else up thread did, but they have all gone by the board. I suppose I am a bit "natural" but it's kind of crept up on me. You wouldn't know I was a hippy by looking at me though!
(I don't think...goes off to check for long hair with centre parting and headband)

Still tandem feeding mine at 33 and 15 months. And co-sleeping, BLW-ing and sling-ing. Probably some lentilly type traits but why do we need to adhere ourselves to any position or to define ourselves in any way? We are all just the parents we are...

DD fed until she was three and a half, I think I'm pretty normal.

I'm maybe not as good as normal actually, I give her fruit shoots sometimes, if we are out. That's meant to be bad on here isn't it?

I co-slept too, but not for lentil-weavery purposes but because I never got around to moving him. Poor chap never used his cot, just went straight into a normal bed which he uses until midnight, when he joins me.

I think the only thing which ever stimulated debate was the fact that DS2 never used a bottle or a sippy cup thing, and used a cup well for before 12 months. He physically couldn't make it work, so when we used to do the toddler group thing I would decant his drink into a plastic cup for him. That made people really curious and lots of questions were asked about the strange, non sippy cup using child. People thought I forced him into it but believe me I tried to get him using something non spillable!

I never thought we would manage breastfeeding as DS2 is tongue tied but after much research I didn't get it snipped and it wasn't an issue for him. I never set out to bf; I had no experience of it or seeing anyone bf and only really tried it because of MN. Then my ex MIL was really anti it so I persevered and decided to do it for so long as I could, never thinking DS1 would go beyond 6 months. In fact, back then I didn't even know you could feed beyond 6 months. And here I am, 6 years later, still at it, just because of my ex MIL

Plus, it is the lazy mothers way I think.

I think giving birth in a field would make you pretty lentil-weavery.

I wish someone like us could feature on a programme like that so women wouldn't write it off as something a certain radical group does.

Wouldn't that be brilliant? 'Now on Channel 4: Loads of ordinary women quietly getting on with something completely normal. Contains scenes of extreme ordinariness.'

Most people genuinely don't realise how ordinary and commonplace it is to BF a 3yo.

I wish someone like us could feature on a programme like that so women wouldn't write it off as something a certain radical group does.

Wouldn't that be brilliant? 'Now on Channel 4: Loads of ordinary women quietly getting on with something completely normal. Contains scenes of extreme ordinariness.'

Most people genuinely don't realise how ordinary and commonplace it is to BF a 3yo.

I remember thinking at about 5 months in, that I only had to BF for another couple of weeks and then I could stop. DS is now 2.7 and we're still going.

I've always eaten spicy food, and as he's got older my caffeine and alcohol intake as steadily increased.....

He recently got given a can of fizzy orange to drink as it was very hot and there was literally nothing else available - couldn't feed as I was wearing a normal, underwired bra and a dress, and we were stood next to a duel carrigeway, so no, not lentilly-weavery at all.

The only woman I know in RL who has fed for as long as me is as far from the stereotype as it is possible to be.

I'm pretty normal - but like Jodidi I carried him around in a mei-tai, we co-sleep and he's BF still at 2. I like crafts, but I didn't use cloth nappies, I'm a haphazard recycler, and I always forget to take shopping bags.

In each case, I just ended up doing it because it seemed easier at the time (in a city, no car, so used mei-tai, co-sleep because I had to work and it was the best way for me to get some sleep etc.)

I wonder if it's just because by now, he just feeds morning evening and sometimes for naps - all lying down in bed - so there's no real reason that anyone would know - it's not like a newborn who needs feeding every couple of hours anymore, he can drink/eat and wait for boob.