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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Reprimanded for Breastfeeding at Marks and Spencer

123 replies

Siena1 · 22/05/2012 21:47

Hi! I am a newbie to posting so please forgive me if I have done something wrong.
I was in Marks & Spencer, Brent Cross and I was told off by a manager in front of a store full of shoppers for breastfeeding my crying baby under a baggy jumper (nothing was visible.) I explained that I had been in the queue for over ten minutes and I had a trolley full of food and I could not abandon it. The store was also officially closed. She was very unsympathetic and instructed me to go to a M & S toilet cubicle. I elaborated that this was not possible as the shop was closed but she just smirked. I felt really humiliated, embarrasses and intimidated. I left the store in tears. Even now, I re-live this incident and it has really knocked my confidence.
I wrote to Marks and Spencer but they have handled my complaint badly. I was initially told that the manager would be "spoken to" when they have identified her. This seemed vague so I re-emailed and asked if the store staff could be re-familiarised with the breastfeeding legislation but they have refused saying that this has never happened to another nursing mother. I thought I saw on a different thread that someone else had been reprimanded for breastfeeding in a M& S Cafe?
Have I done something wrong? Am I being unreasonable? Your comments would be really appreciated. Thank you

OP posts:

nannyl · 22/05/2012 21:52

are you serious?

No you have done nothing wrong.... you have a right to BF your baby anywhere at all.

even if BFing rooms are "provided" you are not obliged to use them. (I REFUSE to feed my baby in the same room as a toilet)

I have BF my baby in an M&S cafe and no one said anything. (bit of luck they didnt cause it would have created a bit of a drama if anyone had)

RancerDoo · 22/05/2012 21:55

Of course you have not done anything wrong.
Brent cross m and s is a hole (in my opinion). Much nicer places to shop, where you wont get grief for meeting your child's basic needs.

hermionestranger · 22/05/2012 21:56

You have been treated appallingly. Tweet them this thread @mandspress

They need a good dose of bringing into the 21st century.

Herrena · 22/05/2012 21:58

Good grief, they have treated you terribly and you did nothing wrong at all.

If you want to get more traffic then I suggest you re-post this in AIBU - it has a reputation of being a somewhat more, ahem, forthright forum but in this case I can't imagine anyone would think you were being unreasonable!

Good luck :)

hermionestranger · 22/05/2012 22:00

I've tweeted them on your behalf, I hope you don't mind. I'm outraged! Good plan to move to AIBU.

StealthPolarBear · 22/05/2012 22:02

I feel a daily mail sad face coming on
This would be perfect for it!

ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged · 22/05/2012 22:02

You've been treated appallingly and are not being unreasonable, but I need to speak in M&S's support & say I suspect this is a one off. I've BFed in the three stores closest to memany times & never been treated badly. In fact, if I was in a city I didn't know I would seek out an M&S cafe to feed in as they've always been so friendly.

BlackOutTheSun · 22/05/2012 22:02

Dp works for m&s, just told him and now he has got a face.

He says complain, complain, complain

RancerDoo · 22/05/2012 22:04

at "daily mail sad face"

5madthings · 22/05/2012 22:05

complain! i have bfed in marks loads once in que like you and they offered to fetch me a chair!! talk about variable cusomer service, they are normally really good.

5madthings · 22/05/2012 22:05

queue

PullUpAPew · 22/05/2012 22:06

Good grief - can you bear to take the story to your local paper? Absolutely bloody shocking. Not a one-off, I got grief at my local M&S for feeding in the baby change room, I just got very arsey and they backed off.

Hope you're ok, and don't let one ignorant person put you off, you did nothing - nothing - wrong.

SaveTheEmpire · 22/05/2012 22:07

That's horrendous! The fact that the manager would speak to any customer that way is shameful (she instructed you to go to a cubicle??). What a bitch, picking on a nursing mother. It must have been upsetting trying to deal with this, feed your baby and queue to pay at the same time.

Don't let this shake your confidence to feed in public. I have been lucky enough to only ever have encountered supportive attitudes when feeding my daughter out and about, and I think that horrible people like that manager are a tiny minority.

If she was short of something to do, she could have opened another till...

usualsuspect · 22/05/2012 22:08

How were you in there if the store was closed?

edam · 22/05/2012 22:08

Of course you didn't do anything wrong. The person who insulted you did. None of her ruddy business. M&S complaints are also at fault here - very bad indeed. Escalate it - I'm sure someone will know who is in charge of M&S these days. Isn't it Mark Bolland, and isn't he the guy who used to be Prince Charles's press secretary? Get their corporate HQ address and write to him personally.

FWIW, a friend of mine used to work for M&S HQ and was horrified by their slack response to complaints. At the time, their target for responding to emails was a month! This was a couple of years ago so I hoped that things had improved but the way they have dealt with you makes it look as if it's even worse.

edam · 22/05/2012 22:10

usual - they close the store while customers are still paying. Have you never been in a supermarket at 4pm on a Sunday?

ledkr · 22/05/2012 22:10

We should organise a mass breast feed in m and s.Im not bf but ill just come and ff with my boobs out cos im so angry about this.

Springforward · 22/05/2012 22:13

Blimey. I used to perch in the local M&S caff specifically to BF!

IME Costa staff were always more helpful though and would always carry your tray to table etc. if I had pram with me.

They obviously don't need the custom....

BigHairyFlowers · 22/05/2012 22:14

The twunts! Outraged for you! If I was the boss of M&S I'd be making that manager have her lunch in a toilet cubicle from now on! See how she likes it!

Definitely tweet them, and make as many complaints as possible.

stleger · 22/05/2012 22:14

Complain, you will get all the back-up you need here. My local Marks and Sparks cafe (not in UK) often has someone feeding a baby in it .

Herrena · 22/05/2012 22:14

ledkr

QuickQuickSloe · 22/05/2012 22:16

Yuk, how horrible for you. You did nothing wrong at all.

NiceCupOfTeaAndASitDown · 22/05/2012 22:17

This is disgusting. I can't believe you were treated so badly. Why should your baby be made to wait for food or eat in a toilet? I agree with those saying it was probably a one-off and a person with a bad attitude rather than the company itself. I'd be complaining repeatedly until I got a satisfactory response. Yy to a mass breastfeed in the store!

BigHairyFlowers · 22/05/2012 22:18

I really wish I was still bfing so I could go and do it in M&S.

(And then leave without buying anything)

openerofjars · 22/05/2012 22:23

Okay, I hope to be bfing in a week or so (come on, baby Jars!) and will go and test out the brand new cafe that my local M&S has installed when I'm fit to do so. It's in a shopping centre that prides itself on being pro-bfing, so we shall see.

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