Reprimanded for Breastfeeding at Marks and Spencer

[Siena1]

Hi! I am a newbie to posting so please forgive me if I have done something wrong.
I was in Marks & Spencer, Brent Cross and I was told off by a manager in front of a store full of shoppers for breastfeeding my crying baby under a baggy jumper (nothing was visible.) I explained that I had been in the queue for over ten minutes and I had a trolley full of food and I could not abandon it. The store was also officially closed. She was very unsympathetic and instructed me to go to a M & S toilet cubicle. I elaborated that this was not possible as the shop was closed but she just smirked. I felt really humiliated, embarrasses and intimidated. I left the store in tears. Even now, I re-live this incident and it has really knocked my confidence.
I wrote to Marks and Spencer but they have handled my complaint badly. I was initially told that the manager would be "spoken to" when they have identified her. This seemed vague so I re-emailed and asked if the store staff could be re-familiarised with the breastfeeding legislation but they have refused saying that this has never happened to another nursing mother. I thought I saw on a different thread that someone else had been reprimanded for breastfeeding in a M& S Cafe?
Have I done something wrong? Am I being unreasonable? Your comments would be really appreciated. Thank you

Well done for naming and shaming! What a f**king disgrace that a mother can not feed her baby without a stupid and ignorant bint doing this. Phew can you tell I'm cross?

Keep complaining until you get a satisfactory response. You have done everything RIGHT not wrong. Keep going!

So do I BigHairy - It infuriates me when women and babies are treated like this and OP did you complain to the store or the Head Office? Keep complaining - the law is on your side. If possible go back and see if you can spot the miserable tart again and get her name. And suggest she eat in the toilet if she thinks its such a great idea.......don't usually swear but I would have called her a fucking bitch to her face and told her to fuck right off up her arse.........

Please go back there and feed your baby anywhere you damn well please....see if you can weed her out and we'll all come and back you up. (I'll hold your baby while you slap her :) )

I know, imagine telling you to feed your baby where people shit.

Hi OP, it happened to me in M and S Marble Arch and I still have the letter of apology from head office to prove it!

Details here www.mumsnet.com/Talk/breast_and_bottle_feeding/1322454-Were-they-right-or-should-I-complain?pg=2

Write to head office about it. They handled my complaint pretty well I thought.

Please don't let it affect your confidence.

It seems you can bf standing up dealing with shopping, under a jumper. For that I salute you!

I really appreciate your support, I feel much better for it.
Thank you so much.
Unfortunately, my email correspondence has been with the M & S Exec Office but no one of any clout like one of the directors or the CEO himself ever see the emails which are sent there...

Would you like one of us to take it over for you? I'm an excellent complainer :)

Email the CEO directly and cc the papers.
[email protected]

I emailed Stuart rose when he was CEO because of a snotty manager and the problem was dealt with promptly.

This is absolutely outrageous and needs some serious escalation.

Would you feel able to cut and paste the correspondence you've had with them?

I can defo get to Brent Cross for a big breastfeeding sit in. Anyone else?

File a formal complaint. This is downright rude ... And as far as I am aware a contravention of your rights

OP- Sorry that you've been treated this way :( This is a really clear article that explains your rights. The M&S woman is very much in the wrong here.

Please don't let it knock your confidence too much. This kind of thing doesn't happen very often and usually the company in question fall over themselves to set things right. Hopefully M&S will pull their socks up a bit and give you a proper apology and a guarantee that this will not happen again.

M&S piss me off. I once asked them where I could bf dd, as there were no seats in the baby change room. She said to go to the cafe and feed discreetly. I didn't, I sat near some changing rooms on a comfy chair, and fed her. Waiting for someone to say something, as was livid by this point

What a change. When mine were younger, I asked if there was somewhere I could sit and feed DS. A lady took me to the changing rooms, gave me the biggest room with a comfy chair, told me she would watch my shopping and offered to bring me a drink.

I guess it depends on the staff member.

I feel furious on your behalf OP! Why should your little baby be expected to have their meal in the toilets? I am so sorry this knocked your confidence and I plan to breastfeed all over M and S in solidarity!

Absolutely disgusting! God! when the hell are things going to change, and BF in public not be seen as embarrassing and shameful or the equivalent of a page 3 girl getting her knockers out?

It's been 11 years since I was subjected to this crap when I was BF, and despite all the debates, attitudes still haven't changed very much at all.

I wish I had been in the store. She would have dearly wished she had kept her mouth closed.

So sorry you were subjected to such a humiliating experience just for wanting to feed your child O.P. I'm not on twitter, or I'd be heading over there now.

I used to specifically go to the m and s cafe in maidenhead to bf ds, while dd had a babychino and a gingerbread man. They were always lovely.

You were treated appalingly, if I was there I would have supported you, I know it's hard to stand up for yourself when you have the stess if a hungry baby.

That is bloody outrageous, I hope you get at the very least an grovelling apology from them.
I would gladly make the trip to Brent Cross to join in a Breast Feeding sit in. DD is 20 months old and she is far from discreet about it! :o

Yay yay frumperina..happy to join in a Breast Feeding sit in

Sadly, I have emailed [email protected] but all emails sent to this address are not seen by the CEO. Instead, an individual from the "Executive Office" is assigned to your complaint. If you are unhappy with how your complaint is being handled, all further correspondence is referred back to the same individual! I feel like I am banging my head against a brick wall but your support has been invaluable and spurred me on. I will send them a link to this thread and see what happens.

you did nothing wrong and I am angry on your behalf! What a sour faced cow. She needs reprimanding and M&S need to train their staff to treat customers with respect.

Absolutely . It really makes me when people like her walking around in that manner thinking they know better, when they clearly don't. I would of just stood my ground tbh but then i'm that type of person

Hope you get the right outcome OP.

I miss breastfeeding.

Do you want me to beat her up for you?

I would have given her a piece of my mind.

I have some M&S vouchers, so I am now tempted to go and BF on purpose in the shop, just to see if I can start a fight!

Why would she expect and try to force you to make your baby eat in a toilet ???

I used to BF in M&S cafe all the time, it was the friendliest place IME and the staff were great.

I'm you had such a different experience. And she smirked!

I'm now considering having another baby just so that I can go down there and BF in front of her!

One of those silly women who thinks that to make it in a 'man's world' she has to behave like a complete dick.

I'd like to see her try and kick me out! She'd have to physically remove me and, I believe, that would be assault.

Get your story into a newspaper. Seriously, this is an excellent way of shaming them into actually doing something about your complaint. Go get em, OP!

When did this take place OP? You state 'even now' it upsets you - so did it happen quite a while ago?