Reprimanded for Breastfeeding at Marks and Spencer

[Siena1]

Hi! I am a newbie to posting so please forgive me if I have done something wrong.
I was in Marks & Spencer, Brent Cross and I was told off by a manager in front of a store full of shoppers for breastfeeding my crying baby under a baggy jumper (nothing was visible.) I explained that I had been in the queue for over ten minutes and I had a trolley full of food and I could not abandon it. The store was also officially closed. She was very unsympathetic and instructed me to go to a M & S toilet cubicle. I elaborated that this was not possible as the shop was closed but she just smirked. I felt really humiliated, embarrasses and intimidated. I left the store in tears. Even now, I re-live this incident and it has really knocked my confidence.
I wrote to Marks and Spencer but they have handled my complaint badly. I was initially told that the manager would be "spoken to" when they have identified her. This seemed vague so I re-emailed and asked if the store staff could be re-familiarised with the breastfeeding legislation but they have refused saying that this has never happened to another nursing mother. I thought I saw on a different thread that someone else had been reprimanded for breastfeeding in a M& S Cafe?
Have I done something wrong? Am I being unreasonable? Your comments would be really appreciated. Thank you

LadyClarice I think your question was addressed already. OP was in the queue, official closing time of shop happened whilst she was waiting to pay.

Anyway, good on both the OP and BigJR for complaining.

me too exoticfruits

i have BF 8m DD everywhere (almost).... plane / airport / busy commuter train / cafe / restaurant (& will add michelelin starred restaurant next week) / coffee shop / M&S! / park / beach / ice-cream parlour / motorway services / car / Drs / Dentist / nurses / osteopaths / hospital coridoor / random bench in the street (as well as toddler groups, sure start centres, friends sofa's and the feeding room in mothercare etc) and no one has ever said anything except for my cleaner who has offered to shut the curtains while i BF DD in my own sitting room; i declined her offer

No one has ever said anything negative

i meet up with my NCT group every week, and 70% of us are still BFing at 8m, and (so far) none of us have ever had any comments....

but OMG, if someone ever said anything to anyone BFing within my ear shot they will wish they had kept their mouth shut!!!

Ditto nannyl, I've not had anyone say anything to me yet in six months but oooooh if anyone DID, I'd have 'em!

So sorry to hear that a similar incident has happened in Clarks. I am glad that BigJR is being so proactive; I really hope that this prevents it happening again to someone else.
Thank you again for all your support at MN; it has really been appreciated.
I feel I have lost my battle with M & S. Although, I have succeeded in getting an apology and eventually an assurance that the manager (who reprimanded me) will be re-trained, instead of "spoken to"; M & S have categorically refused to re-train staff at the Brent Cross Store. My argument was that if a manager is unaware of the breastfeeding legislation than more junior staff are likely to be too. The manager in question should have been leading by example. I sent subsequent emails to [email protected] and [email protected] but my correspondence was ignored. In desperation, I emailed alternative M & S email addresses which resulted in a stiff reply of "there's nothing more we can add" and an offer of a £25 gift card. Do they honestly think this resolves the matter?
This whole matter has been exhausting and emotionally draining, I feel I have failed too.

Facebook. Had a couple of shocking customer service incidents with two different companies. Went onto there FB sites and ranted. Sorted within days.
Never had any complaints regarding bf anywhere. Woe betide anyone who tried
Go get 'em!!

Thanks Yank. Sorry all for being dim.

What a shame these 'managers' don't have a go at BFing women like showtunesgirl, nannyl, and others who would really set them straight there and then!

Why do they always pick on the ones who are meek and nice and timid?

It's awful, isn't it :( I wonder how long it will be before someone gets sued, I bet companies will get off their arses and re-train their staff then.

I'm shocked at your treatment. I can't believe they have the cheek to profit from the sale of nursing bras yet do not want women to breastfeed in their stores.

Have you considered going on the Companies House website and paying the disclosure fee (about £1) to get the CEOs home address. It's the only way to ensure someone senior reads your correspondence.

Thank you again for all your responses and support. I know that posts were made on the Facebook page of M & S but these were quickly removed and subsequent postings were annoyingly blocked.
I think that if I used snail mail to write to Marc Bolland, it would probably be handed to the same individual who has been assigned to my case at the ?Executive Office.? If I went on the Companies House website to try and get Marc Bolland?s home address, I may be perceived as ?mad stalker woman?! The correspondence would probably be handed to the aforesaid individual as well.
I don?t think I have been meek and timid regarding this matter; I have genuinely tried my best to stop it happening to someone else. I have telephoned the Store Manager of Brent Cross but he receives his instructions from Head Office. I have sent countless emails to the [email protected] and [email protected] and senior members of M & S but these have all been referred back to the same individual who has ignored my more recent emails. I have telephoned the ?Executive Office? and I was informed that no one was prepared to deal with my complaint as I had been assigned an individual who was ?handling it.? When I asked for someone else to address my complaint, this was declined.
M & S say that my experience was an ?isolated incident?: no one has been reprimanded for breast feeding at one of their stores before. I know that this is untrue: several of you have posted similar experiences. M & S refuse to re-train their staff nationwide or even those within the Brent Cross store so I have failed. My efforts have been in vain and it has consumed vast amounts of time which should have been spent with my little baby. At the same time, I am troubled that M & S can be so arrogant and indifferent.

Don't give up just yet, Siena :) . How would you feel about contacting a solicitor about this? Failing that, what about media involvement? Maybe MNHQ could do something?

Well done Siena

and i think its absolutely disgusting the way M&S are treating you.

next time im in town i will make a point of choosing to BF in M&S!!!!!

Hi OP, how awful that must have been for you :-( Even if this were an isolated incident the way you are being dealt with is demonstrating a very poor level of both undertanding of the seriousness of your complaint, and of customer service. I just wanted to let you know that on two occasions the only way we have had an effective response was to post a letter to the CEO's home address, obtained from Companies House, as a previous poster mentioned. On both occasions we were then treated with efficiency and respect, and not like a stalker :-)and our complaints resolved very effectively. On both occasions, we posted the letter on a Friday and paid extra for Saturday Special Delivery thus increasing the likelihood that a) they were home and b) had to personally sign for the letter. I would say this was far, far more effective than emailing as those accounts are normally run by executive PAs and the CEO may not be aware of your complaint. Hope this helps you somehow to get a more appropriate response :-) best wishes Xxx.

i was in M&S yesterday, in Bluewater.

I forced DH to go to the cafe deliberately because of this thread (it's a long while since I've been to Bluewater )

I fed DD, it was fine, noone commented or stared.
but DD managed to put her hands in my teacup (she didn't seem to be burned, but I had to have the "if the baby puts her hand in hot liquid you need to be a lot quicker about getting cold water" talk with DH again )
and I threw my carrot cake on the floor (because I was using the wrong hand because I was feeding DD) :(
the lady offered to get me a new one, but I was okay.

I have just read this thread now and am utterly disgusted and appalled by M and S, shame on you, I hope MNHQ will think again about who they choose to partner with in future.

making a point of feeding in M&S could be the ideal way to attract attention to the cause - a flashmob breastfeed!!!

I thought I should respond as you have continued to offer me support. Thank you for this; it is really appreciated.
Mumsnet Towers were very nice and thay said they would "give M & S a nudge" but unfortunately M&S have told them (inaccurately) that "they are dealing with me directly." As a result, MNHQ have said, "unfortunately we don't think that there is anything else that we can do at the moment."

just another voice to say, tossers really! If I lived anywhere near there I would keep going back to breastfeed!!

I'm sure I've BF sitting on a manakin stand in M&S no one said anything.

I breastfed in Clarks the other day whilst getting the kids school shoes no one sed anything but then the Clarks branch was is mothercare so they would probably struggle cause if they sed anything I wud jus tale 2 steps and I wud b in mothercare and still see what shoes DD was choosing !

Please keep up the complaint. This isn't an isolated incident with M&S - I'm aware of it happening in at least one other store. Again a woman I know was 'told off' and made to feel uncomfortable and asked to go into a toilet cubicle. Never happened to me - but only because I don't think I ever fed in M&S. Fed everywhere else though - FGS I (and most others I suspect) wouldn't be freely flashing boobs to the world as I don't really do that sort of thing any more but, goodness me, you can't see anything anyway and that's what they are for.