Right, that's IT, I am going to night wean her and this time I will bloody well succeed

[ohbugrit]

I posted a few days ago and got lots of lovely posts reminding me why BFing my 19 month old DD is a good thing. However, after another shite night totalling 3 hours sleep I am at the end of my tether -I haven't had more than a handful of nights with more than 4 or 5 hours undisturbed sleep for five years now and I am miserable, grumpy, overweight, run down and a crap mother as a result.

DH is off this weekend so I'm planning to leave him to it for 3 nights. After that he is working nights so I'll just have to tough it out by myself.

She can sleep without a BF but prefers to feed to sleep. I'm thinking of just camping out in the chair next to her cot . And for naps either doing the same or going out in the pushchair. How does that sound?

She's entered a seriously tantrummy stage so I am terrified but I have to do this now - can't go on.

She slept all the way until 5am!

Well done ohbugrit. Long may it last.

Yay! Hope you slept too and didnt wake up every 2 hours wondering why it was quiet.

Well done ohbugrit! Now it's time to treat the 5 AM waking as a night waking and aim for 7 AM or so.

Imagine how it would feel to have an uninterrupted 8 hours of sleep

MamaChoc - No, I haven't been in your position of waking up every 1-2 hours for 18 months, because we solved the sleep problem at 4 months with DD and 5 months with DS.

I'm sorry that your DT throws up in anger (?) in the night, but you can still stop the night feedings and just go in to comfort them empty-handed. Their metabolisms will soon adjust and they will not expect to be fed in the night. And as crazy said, they will soon get the message.

We night weaned at 13months because I was so done and said either I was night weaning or giving up altogether. DS liked to sleep latched on and would cry if I rolled over and in the morning it felt like someone had beaten me. Trying to do a regular on and then off night feed lead to more screaming. DH was supportive of night weaning :) which made a difference.

We decided night weaning would be one feed as I went to bed (usually midnight) until we got up or 7am. If it was still dark (say 5.30) we would tell him it wasn't morning and go back to sleep. I wore a snug sports bra and a long nightie.

Day one was disastrous. DH offered water and we both offered cuddles while DS was very angry. Day two lots and lots of asking with some crying. Day three he asked once and we offered water and he said no and went back to sleep. Day four we were done. Day one was bad though, really bad.

Day nursing went on until right before second birthday, I don't think I could have gone that long without a break at night because my sleep was so disturbed and I was in so much pain.

cows milk at night is really bad for teeth.

Needless to say the last two nights have been rubbish. I'm at a loss :(

Look, you're doing really well. You've decided you don't want to let her cry it out WHICH IS FINE but things will take time. Keep doing what you're doing, is she still having beakers of milk rather than bf?

Yes, but only if she won't settle and it's after 4am ish. She downs the milk and then seems to go down OK after that.

DH was in with her for about an hour at ten last night

Ohbugrit that is massive progress. Take a step back and look at where you were a month ago. No it's not where you want to be but it's a long way towards it!

When does she go to bed? When are her naps? Sorry I know you've probably already said and I have read the thread but I'm tired with a teething baby!!

Ivana - What "breastfeeding perspective", and why are you all ?

Good luck - I told dd aged 12m that she wouldn't have any mummy milk in the night, only water, cos she was a big girl...send dh in to settle her when she woke... it took 2 nights but she slept through on thr 3rd night and has done ever since... she was just waking thru habit for milk. Good luck!

Is this helpful? (sorry if someone else already posted it)

"One-year-old babies can easily go for those seven hours (or more) with no calories. Theylike to get fed a little through the night, but physiologically and nutritionally, this is not a long time to go without food.

If I could wake my wife a few times each night, ask her to squeeze me a little fresh orange juice (my favorite drink) and rub my back while I drank it, I wouldn?t choose to voluntarily give up this routine. My wife might have some different ideas and get tired of the pattern quickly. Babies rarely give up their favorite patterns and things ? day or night? without balking and crying."

(from drjaygordon.com/attachment/sleeppattern.html )

Ivana - I was breastfeeding when we sleep-trained DD and DS, if that is what you are asking.

By the way, does not mean "wonderment" (thank you for your "awed admiration or respect, though ) but "sceptical", as explained below.

Ohbugrit I have no useful advice but I'm watching with interest as 6mo DD is a total boob monster, and I'm back at work in 3 weeks. Not sure how I'm going to function if I'm still feeding every 3 hours. DH is adamant that giving her a bottle of formula is the answer to all our problems. I'm resisting thus far but I wonder if he has a point? Argh.

Hop - was all ready to post about how surely that's just encouraging cry it out - but actually the article is really nice - OP, it's worth a read, I promise.

What I particularly like is that he suggests a solution where the baby is still with you (even if crying is involved) but most importantly he talks about it being when you are ready rather than it being some competition to get your baby sleeping through by 6 months.

But as I keep saying OP - you are making massive progress, you really are. Keep us posted.

I really like Dr Jay's advice on this, he is really nice about it, I agree. His tagline is 'no-one knows your child better than you do'.

I only posted the above because to me it made sense. Of course it is rough on kids when their routine that they love changes. I think he is being sensible but empathetic about it. I also love that he says that if you aren't ready you don't have to push through something that doesn't feel good and you can have another go later.

My mantra when my kids were in baby/toddlerhood was that 'they won't go to college... in nappies/with a sippy cup/dragging a dirty blankey around etc'. It is hard when you are in the trenches, but I truly believe that kids are resilient and if you do a good enough job loving and parenting them that they will turn out great.