Breastfeeding myths overheard in hospital

[hunkermunker]

Woman in the bed next to me was bottlefeeding because she "couldn't be arsed to breastfeed, and they're more settled on a bottle, innit". Er, yours wasn't, love - he cried, you snored through it. And as for the method of getting your newborn baby to take a bottle that your partner had discovered... Heard her telling her mum and dad as if it was hilarious that her DP had said "Finish the fucking bottle, then" and he'd drunk it

Woman in bed opposite me was told to "put the baby to the breast and leave him there as long as it took. It might be two hours. Just let him suck". Well, OK, but might've been nice to actually show her what to do, as she had no idea. Baby had a bottle in his mouth the next morning

Woman who was in the bed after woman opposite left said, "My milk isn't in yet, so I've been giving him bottles until it is". Instead of being told, "Just let him feed, you have colostrum, which is all he needs, your milk will be in soon, I'll help you if you need it" she was asked which formula she wanted

And today I've been told to only offer one breast at each feed and since I had DS2, they've asked me how often he's feeding - am I trying to get him to go three-hourly? Er, no, he's had low blood sugar. Nobody has mentioned feeding on demand to establish supply.

Am and and

MW's said feeding well then comments from HV upset me and ended up giving bottles but we bakc on track now...

Havn't read all of thread but I'm quite shocked i felt my MW's were quite suportive and did take hime to give me rest and checked on me in case I fell asleep with him on me in first 48hrs as he fed aevery half hour and wouldn't go down in his cot (still won't but we are about to tackle that one tonight! - he's 19days.

He has fed beautifully but I think this is due to a strong reflex from him and I was well read up on b/f I just got on with it and it 'worked' all the MW's did was check on us.

HOWEVER the HV last week gave me some advice re sore nipples and went on to say he needed to latch on properly and tried to move his head etc. I found this uposetting as we had been told how well we were doing so who was right? Anyway my shoulders hurt like hell and I think it was all due to sitting incorrectly on my part and my MW agrees. BUT because of this I was v upst and felt I had let him down and ended up giving hime some bottle feeds over the weekend but by Sunday heas fed wholly on the breast.

Find your nearest baby cafe

thanks fruitful you were quick to find the link ! I was thinking of setting one up, but will need to see how much support I can get from my PCT and Council, etc.

Tik Tok, thanks for that. So with a sleepy baby just lots of skin to skin - did try it but difficult when you've had a section and then they helpfully put the baby in a crib out of reach. Also do you know the name of the other drug you mentioned as being safer? Again thanks for all this. Next time I shall be prepared.

Others have made the point but its worth reiterating that people need to complain. Obviously complaining is the last thing that you want to do having just given birth but it won't change until people start to say something. I did also in my offical complaint mention the staff who had been really helfpul. It wasn't uniformly bad but just wildly erratic from cruel, negligent and ill informed to some of the best medical professionals I've come across. The overriding problem being no cohesive, coherent approach to breastfeeding. Even with the good guys information was contradictory.

Equally I think what has come across in all these stories is how unnecessary a lot of the frustration, tears and formula was. What a waste. It seems that for a lot of people sheer stubborness was the way they got bf going.

There has to be an element of personal endeavour however.
We can't expect others to do it all.
I had sterling support but it was still very painful and difficult.Wouldn't have dreamt of giving up however.

I hear pg women (in RL and on MN!) talk about how they wish to b/f and in the same breath mention the formula and steriliser they've got in.

What kind of attituude is that???

cannot believe what happened to rach69's baby!! my own sister was practically forced to give topups of formula because her baby had jaundice.
Its disgusting.the hospital i work at is "baby friendly" accredited to try and stamp out conflicting advice and unnecessary topping up.Its about the only thing it has got going for it!

moondog - you are right.

At the risk of getting hanged, stabbed and shot at point blank range, I would like to say that the mother's AND father's absolute and total devotion to BF is the key to this whole sorry story.

I will shut up now !

No please don't nanneh. I am enjoying what you have to say.
Whilst agreeing with the fact that most 'support' is lamentable,how about a bit of will power and effort,you know the kind that stop you reaching for the family sized bar of chocolate if you want a presentable arse???

I completely lost confidence in my BFing when DS was rehospitalised with jaundice and dehydration at 2.5 weeks. Yes, maybe I could have done more, but I don't think feeling guilty over starving your baby is in quite the same league as resisting a chocolate bar.

It's a very rough analogy.
Please don't bridle!!!!

I remember that at the ante natal breast feeding workshop that I went to (another example of the ways the Queen Mum tried to support breast feeding) they did say that one of the major contribuitory factors for "extended" breast feeding was support from firstly the partner and secondly the mum's mother. (and by "extended", it probabyl only meant beyond 6 weeks at most).

Even the most unfriendly midwife I came across (and in the 5 nights I was there, I saw a lot of midwives, who were all, with this one exception, really patient) still didn't even hint at offering ds formula.

But judging from some of these stories, at other hopsitals the "contribuotry" factor may be the hospital staff themsleves!

moondog - lol - my arse used to be sort of presentable before giving birth ! My boobs too, now they just inflate and deflate throughout the day and I have a feeling my rather full 38 DD's are going to end up as two empty sacks of chips once DS is done with them....aged 10 (oooppps sorry, wrong thread !!)

Seriously though, I wish all new mothers the best of luck. If all else fails, there is MN. As long as everyone one day finds out about MN (sadly I didn't have a clue what it was when DS was born) then there will be good support and correct advice at the touch of the finger tips.

Had brief surreal image of mad old clompy shoed woman with a plantpot on her head urging you to remember the 'Tummy to Mummy' mantra

"hanged, stabbed and shot at point blank range"

I can think of a few health "professionals" who could do with a bit of that

nanneh - they will end up like Christmas balloons in February. Mine did.

prettybird - your post was very interesting. I have to say my mother has some strange ideas about BF past one year, but my DH has been indoctrinated BIG TIME by me and he knows if he ever even dared to say the "f" word (formula I mean !!) he will get a very, very, long lecture. Seriously though, he is very supportive.

MoM - lol {grin]

I think the answer is having a lead maternity carer. By the time I had ds she knew me so well that she knew when to help and provide suggestions and when to leave me for a few minutes to have a practise. Once I was at home she brought me her own copy of The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding to borrow. She was lovely, and you do get to choose, so you can interview them until you find one who is knowledgable about bfing, or water birth or whatever it is that you want.

I also went to 4 breastfeeding workshops at the hospital (full on all day numbers) which were free.

What I would have liked to see was more initiatives after 6 weeks when you switch to HV, but of course they have sponsorship from a baby food company, so it all turns bad there.

I was in King's - about to get it's certificate.
Thankfully, I had attended their workshop by one of the countries leading bf counsellors, and had lots of confidence.
Because, despite the posters everywhere telling me that breast was best:
The bed was a scrap-heap contyraption that didn't have a bed-head I could lean against to feed
I was only allowed two paper-thin pillows - hopeless if you are nursing a baby for hours
Despite asking repeatedly and desparately, i could get no-one to sit with me and show me how to get him to feed from both sides (he would only feed on one)
Despite me sitting weeping all night in the TV room with a howling baby, trying to get him to settle to a feed, no-one helped, and they wrote in my notes 'fed successfully through the night'
Despite weeping and howling, they stood in corridor discussing the (undoubtedly) unfair holiday arrangements, in contrast to what doctors got.
On finding that DS had slightly raised bilirubin levels, the paed undertook emotional blackmail to get me to formula feed
The taps said 'not drinking water' - and though I was woken at 5 a.m by someone bringing a water jug, they never, despite repeated requests, brought a glass. bf causes thirst!!

By the end, I was on the point of defacing their bloody policy posters with graffiti.

One Mother One Midwife campaign - Bobbybob, think this is what you're talking about having in NZ?

Blu, ikwym re the pillows - I had two and snaffled a third from the bed opposite when I saw it had three when freshly made up and waiting for new occupant (fag-happy Lil as it turned out, so no guilt there re stealing of pillow ).

Rach, I am SO and at your experience - can't believe they shove formula into babies born over a certain weight

I had my daughter by emergency section in Watford General after labouring at home (with an independent midwife) for an indecently long time. She was fine but there was brief discussion in theatre of her going to SCBU. I said to the hospital midwife that I didn't want her fed formula in SCBU - to which she replied 'I'll make a note of your wishes.' No - you won't 'make a note' of them - you'll tell them not to bloody do it. (I was still quite feisty, despite my insides hanging out...)

She didn't go to SCBU and in the recovery suite, the same midwife did help in trying to get her to the breast - she gently squeezed some colostrum and rubbed it on the nipple round my daughter's mouth.

The first day after surgery, there was quite a lot of assistance, people helping her to latch on etc. Someone said that my nipples were rather flat and that they'd get a bfc to see me.

However. This was really a lot of hot air. No bfc came and the second day the quality of breast-feeding care was much diminished. The same incompetent midwife turned up who had originally booked me - and who had failed to inspire confidence then by her inability to understand a cycle longer than 28 days. My daughter still couldn't latch - and she kept coming up to me saying 'Has she fed yet, has she fed yet - you can't leave her this long...' No help was forthcoming though. The second night some HCA kept running around frantically, making loads of noise and advertising how busy she was - but told all the post-Caesarean women that she was too busy to help them get their babies out of their fishbowls.

In the end, the only reason I managed to establish breast-feeding was because of my independent midwife. DD was becoming dehydrated and her fontanelles were depressed (day 3 or 4, at home by this point). Having tried to get her to latch for ages, the midwife finally sent my husband out for nipple shields - and after that we were away. Some 15 weeks on, there are no problems and I no longer need the shields.

Six women were in that room in the two days I was there and only myself and a South African woman were exclusively breastfeeding. She was on her second child and didn't seem to need help. One woman was 'topping up' but no one had discussed with her how this would affect her supply.

Interesting that someone said that the attitude of one's mother is a factor in women's decision to breastfeed and the length of time for which they do it. My parents have asked me 'How long are you planning to keep this up for?' like I'm doing something shameful and disgusting - and my mother has said 'I'd have her on the bottle if it were me...' They came up for lunch one day and she tried to get me to express to take a bottle of milk out with me, in case DD got hungry in the restaurant. Like MeanOldMummy, though, I won't bottlefeed in public on principle - no matter if I find it embarrassing. Besides - I'd rather keep the expressed stuff for nights out with adult beverages

I heard the cracker of them all in baby massage class today.

A breastfeeding mother was told by her HV that her son got oral thrush b/c she ate too much chocolate.

I had assumed the point:re support from the mum's mother (granny) to be in relation to whether granny had breastfeed and could therefore offer appropriate support/advice rather than attitude/approval per se.

I would say 'bone idle and cruel' far, far too kind. Fucking sadistic bitches is more accurate in my experience. Wouldn't spit on them if they were dying of thirst.

Aloha, im guessing you had an awful birth/hospital experience? I havent read details of it - can you point me in the direction of a thread or enlighten us?