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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Breastfeeding myths overheard in hospital

412 replies

hunkermunker · 23/01/2006 15:23

Woman in the bed next to me was bottlefeeding because she "couldn't be arsed to breastfeed, and they're more settled on a bottle, innit". Er, yours wasn't, love - he cried, you snored through it. And as for the method of getting your newborn baby to take a bottle that your partner had discovered... Heard her telling her mum and dad as if it was hilarious that her DP had said "Finish the fucking bottle, then" and he'd drunk it

Woman in bed opposite me was told to "put the baby to the breast and leave him there as long as it took. It might be two hours. Just let him suck". Well, OK, but might've been nice to actually show her what to do, as she had no idea. Baby had a bottle in his mouth the next morning

Woman who was in the bed after woman opposite left said, "My milk isn't in yet, so I've been giving him bottles until it is". Instead of being told, "Just let him feed, you have colostrum, which is all he needs, your milk will be in soon, I'll help you if you need it" she was asked which formula she wanted

And today I've been told to only offer one breast at each feed and since I had DS2, they've asked me how often he's feeding - am I trying to get him to go three-hourly? Er, no, he's had low blood sugar. Nobody has mentioned feeding on demand to establish supply.

Am and and

OP posts:
poppiesinaline · 23/01/2006 16:07

When in hospital with DS1 he just cried and cried and no-one had shown me how to bf and I was sore already and it was going horribly wrong. 2nd night in hosp, about 2 am, I sat sobbing trying to latch DS1 on and a horrible night shift midwife came in and said "What on earth is going on here? Stop that baby from crying, you will wake everyone up!" Then looked at me and said "Oh for goodness sake. Give that baby to me. I will go and feed him a bottle as you clearly cannot provide for him!" Snatched him off me and walked away with him. I cried and cried and cried and felt like a complete failure. I rang DH in the morning and sobbed down the phone to him and made him come and get me! As soon as the paediatrician had cleared the baby - I WAS OUT OF THERE.

harpsichordcarrier · 23/01/2006 16:10

yes and angle, presumably

2Happy · 23/01/2006 16:10

I liked the MW while I was delivering a particularly difficult birth, they were so nice and so supportive; but afterwards... Despite prolonged rupture of membranes, I never had my temperature taken once. I never had my BP/pulse checked either, and despite >24hrs on iv fluids and synt, and an extremely thorough epidural no-one checked on me. I had no sensation from my bladder but no one catheterised me or offered to help me to the loo, and I only realised through a haze of morphine that there was a problem when I realised that the bed was soaked. Then they were just going to ram a catheter up, and it was only when I said I thought I'd be perfectly capable to go if just given a hand off the bed did they bother to try to let me go myself (given the possible infective complications of repeated catheterisations).
And as for the breastfeeding, all the night MW did when I asked for help was to come in and ram my boob in ds's gob. Admittedly, he fed fine when she did that, but unless she wanted to come home with me and do that every couple of hours (and dh may have had a problem with three in a bed...), I think she'd have been better off actually teaching me! Instead, when I asked for help again, she just said she'd take ds away and give him some formula. Er, no, thanks all the same!
Ooh, long post sorry. D'you think I've got some unresolved issues here?!

hotmama · 23/01/2006 16:11

poppies I suppose in hindsight you may have given her a mouthful - but at the time you just wanted to sob. What a cow mw.

TambaTheDragonSlayer · 23/01/2006 16:20

I was just 19 when I had ds, in hospital I was asked which formular I wanted to use as "young girls dont breastfeed"

(I fed him for 14 months)

poppiesinaline · 23/01/2006 16:27

Tamba.

and yes Hotmama - how I wished I had given her a mouthful. But believe me - I made up for it with No 2 and No 3.

kate100 · 23/01/2006 16:33

Poppies , how awful for you!

I had no help at all, exept to be given a chart to fill in, er, thanks.

A friend asked for help and had a nursery nurse with dirt under her finger nails shove her boob in her dd mouth. She went home that day.

hornbag · 23/01/2006 16:34

When I was still having problems feeding DD at 4 days old (she was jaundiced which didn't help) I was told by the so-called breast feeding expert in hospital that "Theres no such thing as a baby who can't breastfeed its the mother thats to blame". . She was very blunt and terse in her manner. Its really not what you want to hear 4 days in, poorly baby, no sleep etc.

On a positive note I persevered (without the old bags help) and BF for 4m. In hindsight (with the experience of since having BF DS for 10m) I'm sure DD never quite mastered it properly.

honneybunny · 23/01/2006 16:36

... i guess my nipples are also in the 2nd centile then. mw told me mine were too small and sunken. She actually sent off my mum and dad to buy nippleshield: I am so glad that the pharmacist had no idea what they were talking about. I found that it is well worth finding a supportive mw and latching on to her until you get it...
And JuA you may want to check out kellymom.com, they have loads of advice on feeding two

starshaker · 23/01/2006 16:41

i had the opposite prob. whenever i tried to feed some1 was there saying i was doing it wrong and man handling me and dd. i think she hated being handled so much and just refused and screamed whenever i put her near me. i gave up after 3 days and they werent going to give me a bottle for her. she hadnt had ANYTHING in 3 days i thought enough was enough

Gingerbear · 23/01/2006 16:46

I must come to the defence of the wonderful midwives in hospital when I had DD. They helped me establish breastfeeding and one in particular was so helpful - she stayed with me for every hourly feed during a nightshift to make sure everything was working well.

Not all of them are breastfeeding poor.

Caligula · 23/01/2006 17:01

Oh do write and complain when you have time. This is so crap. It's such a scandal and no-one in government gives a shit.

muma3 · 23/01/2006 17:01

yes im another one who had advice and support...
dd3 - i decided to stay in hospital for 1 night having had her in the morning i was there for approx 28 hours. during the day she was born we got on with b/f . i think she had got a taste for it by that night . during the night she was feeding non-stop for 10 hours . i was shattered. i had blood blisters on my nipples ( i have to admit to owning a very large pair too ) and i was in tears. i got out of bed and went to the nurses station with dd3 in her fish bowl. i asked one of the mw if they could take her for a hour or so as she just wants to feed and i was sore and on verge off collapsing ( not aneamic normal delivery just tired and emotional )
i was told to go get back in bed - must off been 3am? - and keep feeding her as she must be hungry .
a few hours later a student mw came on shift, young and looked very approachable. when i noticed she wasnt busy i called her over and asked her to help as my nipples were bleeding at this point and although dd3 wasnt crying she wouldnt sleep and didnt seem content.
she came straight over , pulled the curtain and in a extremely calm and nuturing voice helped me feed her .
we got chatting and she stayed with me untill dd3 fell asleep with a full tum.
sorry long post but i just wanted to share my experience and make a few points.

the mw at night all told me to keep feeding they couldnt take her as they couldnt feed her for me ?

a trainee mw was more reassuring and kind then the lot of them and took the time to help and even showed interest in my baby .

i was stood in the corridor in tears and was told to go back to bed !!

i was determined to feed dd3 longer then i had with dd2 ( 10 weeks )
although i made it to 12 weeks i wasnt going to let anyone tell me other wise and i am fortunate not to have developed pnd.

sorry long

Nbg · 23/01/2006 17:04

How lovely muma3.

There is some hope then.

muma3 · 23/01/2006 17:10

there is always hope and if you feel like the hp dont seem to bothered to help you with your choice of feeding your baby then seek help elsewhere and make sure you let them know how let down you feel .

dont let your desicions get over-ruled by people unwilling to help you .

good luck to all that want to b/f it is hard and can be painful but fight for what you want and it can be the most loving enjoyable experience.

( not that anything about babies isnt )

lockets · 23/01/2006 17:17

This reply has been deleted

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Kelly1978 · 23/01/2006 17:20

oh I got asked what formula I wanted as i would never have enough milk for twins. You almost feel forced into bottle feeding. I feels orry for first tiem mums. I as lucky that first time around I was in a hospital that was extremely supportive. They actually seperated bfeeders and bottle feeders on different bays and gave no end of help.

CorrieDale · 23/01/2006 17:45

I feel really lucky reading all this! I actually had good support in hospital and was even helped to hand-express some colostrum into a syringe (DS being a very reluctant feeder in the first 24 hours). And although the bfc mw I had was blunt and matter-of-fact, by that stage I didn't want sympathy, I just wanted somebody to show me what to do! Mind you, I was still [shocked] that the formula mums' babies were taken away and fed during the night for them, while I was up all night with DS! Now that's the kind of thing that would make many women think that formula really was more convenient after all...

CorrieDale · 23/01/2006 17:49

oh, and I did hear one MW say to a bf mum "he's using you as a dummy". Poor fool that i was, I believed that's what babies did and thought for days that my ds wanting to cluster-feed meant that he was just a sucky baby! poor hungry little mite! The hv put me right!

mummytosteven · 23/01/2006 18:06

no waiter service for expressing - was expected to walk to ward kitchen, and wash equipment myself every 3 hours.

treated like I was being unreasonably hysterical for wanting a break from DS the first night of labour; turns out I was in agony through undiagnosed urinary retention. Wonder how many men would manage to look after a newborn with urinary retention, then with 36 hours on a bag and stand catheter

was never told when jaundiced DS was topped up with 60 ml formula after most feed (I just couldn't keep up with the expressing, primarily because of the washing the breast pump equipment issue!) that I was effectively formula feeding, and would have seriously screwed my supply up.

harpsichordcarrier · 23/01/2006 18:08

mw said to me about 3 day old dd1 - she's just sucking for comfort you know
my sister's reply was "what's your point??"
I think it runs in the family...

QE2 · 23/01/2006 18:20

Well, I have a positive experience of b/feeding at the hospital where my last 2 ds's were born. Fantastic midwife too who spent ages with me ensuring I got a proper latch.

ds4 had to go back into hospital on day 3 as he was not feeding well and was very jittery. Worried midwife sent me back as he refused to latch. I was put in a private room so I could strip off and ds also stripped to his nappy. Lots of skin to skin contact - I had never heard of the necessity of this before to ensure good milk supply; I believed it was to encourage bonding.

Anyway, 2 midwives sat with me determined to get ds4 to latch as the consultant had threatened him with a feeding tube and formula as he had gone 12 hours without a feed by then. Their perserverance paid off as ds4 suddenly decided to latch and they kept an eye on me with the next 2 feeds, then let me go home.

This is the kind of support that should be given isn't it?

Aloha · 23/01/2006 18:22

This thread makes me want to cry
It's APPALLING. Can we not send it to someone who can actually DO something?
I am wondering about a feature, just to raise awareness. It is just so shocking.
I had no support at all with ds until the bfc came in. The midwives were all formula mad. And it is true about overnight support. Luckily I found an lovely - unqualified I think - healthcare assistant who took dd away (was told no formula)swaddled and bundled her up in blankets and kept her with her while I got a couple of hours of much-needed sleep, then showed me how she did the swaddle.

Pruni · 23/01/2006 18:29

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Pruni · 23/01/2006 18:30

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