Breastfeeding myths overheard in hospital

[hunkermunker]

Woman in the bed next to me was bottlefeeding because she "couldn't be arsed to breastfeed, and they're more settled on a bottle, innit". Er, yours wasn't, love - he cried, you snored through it. And as for the method of getting your newborn baby to take a bottle that your partner had discovered... Heard her telling her mum and dad as if it was hilarious that her DP had said "Finish the fucking bottle, then" and he'd drunk it

Woman in bed opposite me was told to "put the baby to the breast and leave him there as long as it took. It might be two hours. Just let him suck". Well, OK, but might've been nice to actually show her what to do, as she had no idea. Baby had a bottle in his mouth the next morning

Woman who was in the bed after woman opposite left said, "My milk isn't in yet, so I've been giving him bottles until it is". Instead of being told, "Just let him feed, you have colostrum, which is all he needs, your milk will be in soon, I'll help you if you need it" she was asked which formula she wanted

And today I've been told to only offer one breast at each feed and since I had DS2, they've asked me how often he's feeding - am I trying to get him to go three-hourly? Er, no, he's had low blood sugar. Nobody has mentioned feeding on demand to establish supply.

Am and and

The midwives at the hospital told me that I couldn't possibly bf a large boy (DS1 was 9lb 7oz). I tried to bf in hospital, but the advice was not good. DS1 had jaundice and the hospital midwives put pressure on me to bottlefeed in order to get rid of it faster (phototherapy was a nightmare - DS1 just lay there and screamed), so I bottlefed in the hopes of getting out of hospital faster. (At one point a midwife took a blood sample wrongly and informed me there was something terribly wrong with my son's blood and I needed to take him down to the SCBU - there I was blubbing my socks off holding my huge and perfectly healthy baby surrounded by tiny ones in incubators with real problems.)

But this story has a happy ending. The community midwives were very helpful indeed, and thanks to them I managed to breastfeed. I didn't make a formal complaint for the usual reasons given by other posters, but I did tell my experience to the community midwives, one of whom went on to a senior position in the hospital. So I have reasonable hopes matters may have improved.

All the same, I didn't feel like going through it all again. So DS2 and DS3 were born at home!

God this thread makes me want to weep. I had DS by elective section and was kept in for four days following the section. For the first 48 hours he didn't feed at all despite constant attempts at latching - either on my own or vague help by mw's. After 48 hours a midwife finally took notice when he wasn't feeding and fed him formula. Over the three days he was referred to peads every day due to his listlessness, not waking up etc which was getting worse and worse. Told to start bottle feeding to top him up - whihc I did. Nobody told me how much, how often, how to sterlise etc. BF support was rubbish. Staff kept saying they would come and help and then disappear for hours. When I kep telling people that he wasn't waking up, couldn't stay awake to feed etc they said he would "demand feed" - he never demand fed.

Discharged on Day Four despite the visits to the the peads. Got home and community mw visited. Sent us back to the hospital - DS was dehydraged, lost 15% of birth weigth, low blood sugars etc. By this stage I was hysterical, my blood pressure had rocketed (another reason to admit us back in). Then went into a transitional care unit to get his feeding established. It took a total of two weeks, medication and a lot of tears. Didn't ever manage to fully breast feed - he was mixed fed the whole way through and weaned at 8 months.

I did make an offical complaint - one of the responses I got was that mw's would now have one day a week to act as bf counsellors so there should be better bf support now. Whilst this a bit late for me surely supporting women to feed their babies is their job? How comes its an added extra. Anyway apologies for long post - this still makes me teary to think about it for too long. But I'm pleased I complained - people need to complain, its an absolute scandal this goes on.

It is a scandal, blue, and it is a part of the job - UNICEF are targetting midwifery training now to award certification for Baby Friendly courses so midwives can come out of training with these important, essential basics. Training after qualification in breastfeeding often means undoing what they already 'know'.

Sorry to hear about the poor experience with NCT, nanneh. NCT ha a complaints procedure and does take reports of poor practice seriously.

Any baby not getting breastmilk in the first hours of life should not just be left - and in fact, sleeping for hours and hours and hours on the first days with no feeding simply doesn't happen if the mum and baby are skin to skin as they should be. If a baby isn't feeding, then it is vital to get the mum expressing colostrum and to get this into the baby. I wish this was done more often.

Tik Tok you seem to know about these things so could I ask - and anyone else who knows their info would be really helpful.
a) DS was really sleepy for days - is this due to the C Section?
b) I was prescribed "maxolam" (sp?)to help my milk production. I felt it worked but I know some think this is unnecessary. How common is it to use this drug?

I've been told next baby will probably be c section and I would dearly love to avoid the bf trauma if possible. Thanks in advance.

Thanks Hotmama & Mandymac for your advice.

Re letter writing have noticed that if you go on Mears first link (23 Jan 8.42pm) & then find your nearest hospital you can click on the notepad next to it to write a letter. It is all pre written & addressed - you can add your own comments if you want then just print & post. I will be sending one as my hospital's rating just says 'no info'

Message withdrawn

I can't believe these stories . I live in Norway (married to one of them!) - and have had 3 babies here. All bf (although not without tears!) but in hospital they absolutely refuse to give formula (except in very special circumstances - although I never saw anybody giving their babies formula). In fact new mums are not able to check out until they've not mastered the bf technique. The support given is fantastic. Sounds like the UK system could learn a lesson or 2 (or is there money to be made out of selling formula?)

innorway,tell us more please!
I've read lots about fantastic b/feeding results in Scandi but never conversed with someone who experienced it.
How about support once you get home and so on??

Oh, innorway, yes, please do tell us more!

Check out hm's and my barely contained hysteria....

we need one of these:
[frothing at the mouth in excitement emoticon]

Oh yes,and harpsi too of course.
We're dead 'ard core us.

Ahem. Just a bit keen, that's all.

I'm lactating again and I love it. Am going to get a T-shirt with it on, I think

franny sent me a lovely badge hunker
it says "lactation station"
betcha want one now....

No, not much. Well, a bit. OK. Yes. Gah!

IMO formula should only be available in extremis, not as a standard offer.

i have a badge which says

'mums milk bar
open 24hours a day
7 days a week
express delivery service available

tiktok - please don't get me wrong - I think that the NCT does a fantastic job. I didn't want to compalin, because I felt that the midwives at the EBC and the ones who visited me at home should have had more knowledge about bf. Sadly they didn't. The only way a mother can be successful at bf these days, it seems, reading all these sad stories, is through sheer pig-headed determination.

The way I see it is that the NCT and LLL, etc advisers are volunteers, they get no money for the excellent work they do. I totally and utterly blame successive govts. and the NHS for what I would call "Dark Ages" health care, except in the Dark Ages, it was a lot better !!

Women in those days HAD to bf otherwise their babies died. Also mothers, grandmothers, sisters, etc would have been on hand to help as they would all have had first hand experience of bf. In today's modern formula society, the female support is NOT there because many bottle feed, so we end up relying on the NHS and charities and MN. It is a very, very, sorry story.

I would love to live in Norway. NO, formula, OMG !! What a wonderful country !!

blue - lots of reasons why your baby was sleepy. A struggle to be born is one of them, and if your cs was after a struggle, it might be part of the reason.

Skeepy babies should not be in cribs tucked up and left for hours and hours. They have even more need than the non-sleepy babies to be on mum's chest, inside her nightie, and they do not sleep for as long that way - instead they are stimulated to feed.

Maxolon is occasionally given as it has a side effect of improving milk supply. Another drug is supposed to be safer. In any case, freqjent effective feeding is the 'answer' - drugs won't do any good if that's not happening.

Hope this helps.

nanneh - fine Just didn't want people to think NCT didn't accept complaints!

As a midwife who works on postnatal ward I must explain this.On a late/nightshift I alone care for up to 14 women and 14 babies.Lets just say I spend most of the night with one woman stuggling with breastfeeding.Obviously for this one woman there may be another 10 saying how they had no support.Until the government/hospital management prioritise this aspect of care we are powerless.Most midwives do their best.And yes if a breastfeeding mum asks us to care for their baby and it won't settle we do have to bring it back to the mother .We have other things to do-women in pain,or with high blood pressure,or needing bedbaths/catheters etc.We aren't operating a creche!.Mostly we feel we don't get to be the "midwives" we trained to be, we are obstetric nurses My own baby cried almost constantly when not at the breast for first 6 weeks,but i was on my own,and got pnd too.

I was in agony with urinary retention the first night, and am sure many other women are in a bad state, and need some extra support, particularly the first night.

what is the different btw between your role on the postnatal ward, and what you feel you trained for?

ellasmum - I had the misfortunate to work for the NHS myself for a short time - but I was a lawyer not a midwife !

I totally understand what you are saying. I have a lot of respect for what midwives do, esp. as my son was delivered by such a wonderful and experienced mw, no doctors around, no fancy equipment used, no pain relief for me, nothing, just a midwife, a pool of water and my DH to hold my hand, the good old fashioned way !!

I don't think any one here is blaming individual midwives. We are all upset and angry that there are not enough mw's so they are under alot of pressure like you say, not enough training, not enough money spent on bf, etc. Often the NHS and the govt. seem to just pay lipservice to bf, the reality is just so totally different.

As one poster has said, look at Norway and other Scandinavian countries, it's so different there, but why ? Has the UK govt. got less oil/gas, fish or whatever to fund the health service properly ?

In fact if more babies were bf-ed there would be more money to go round within the NHS, as there would be far fewer sick infants, fewer trips to the GP by mother and baby, fewer trips to A&E, etc, hence less of a drain on the pockets of the NHS.

This is what we want to change, not the good work that most mw's do.

I have met at least 100 midwives because I had two very difficult "managed" pregnancies and births and long hospital stays. Well over 2/3 of them were surly, unhelpful, unpleasant women who were either so unhappy in their jobs they were taking it out on mothers or just weird people to start with. A good 20% of them were actually cruel. When being "supported" learning to breastfeed my sick, premature first baby I was manhandled, criticised, ridiculed, pinched (!) and utterly humiliated by several midwives. It isn't just under-resourcing. I would not treat an animal the way I was treated when I was having my children, from the antenatal care to the breastfeeding "support". That's my experience, I'm afraid.