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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Breastfeeding myths overheard in hospital

412 replies

hunkermunker · 23/01/2006 15:23

Woman in the bed next to me was bottlefeeding because she "couldn't be arsed to breastfeed, and they're more settled on a bottle, innit". Er, yours wasn't, love - he cried, you snored through it. And as for the method of getting your newborn baby to take a bottle that your partner had discovered... Heard her telling her mum and dad as if it was hilarious that her DP had said "Finish the fucking bottle, then" and he'd drunk it

Woman in bed opposite me was told to "put the baby to the breast and leave him there as long as it took. It might be two hours. Just let him suck". Well, OK, but might've been nice to actually show her what to do, as she had no idea. Baby had a bottle in his mouth the next morning

Woman who was in the bed after woman opposite left said, "My milk isn't in yet, so I've been giving him bottles until it is". Instead of being told, "Just let him feed, you have colostrum, which is all he needs, your milk will be in soon, I'll help you if you need it" she was asked which formula she wanted

And today I've been told to only offer one breast at each feed and since I had DS2, they've asked me how often he's feeding - am I trying to get him to go three-hourly? Er, no, he's had low blood sugar. Nobody has mentioned feeding on demand to establish supply.

Am and and

OP posts:
harpsichordcarrier · 23/01/2006 18:34

it's reading threads like this that brings it home why this is SUCH a sensitive subject for so many people
so much pain and disappointment
it's a scandal

Pruni · 23/01/2006 18:37

Message withdrawn

fuzzywuzzy · 23/01/2006 18:43

Thankfully the hospital, I had both dd's was very helpful with regards bf. With dd1 I was inexperienced and in a lot of pain due to an episiotomy, and an iv in my hand which didn't actually help in holding dd1.
There was also my ever (un)helpful mother who kept saying 'You'll never do it ask for a bottle'.

The mw helped dd latch on. For some reason dd only seemed to be interested in licking my nipple, and told my mother to leave me alone I was doing very well.
To my relief I managed to feed dd1 till she was 6 months, and dd2 is still bf at 16 months......

Luckily for me I found that dd2 seemed more aware of what she was supposed to do as apposed to dd1, who as I said kind of gave my breast a squinty look and then gave it a good lick....

But if I hadn't had the help and support in both hospital and from my hv, who was also most encouraging, I don't Think I would have been able to bf dd1 for the time I did.

QueenMab · 23/01/2006 18:45

Can I just say (quietly) that not all hospitals are like this. I had DS in Dorchester (Dorset)and they bent over backwards to encourage and assist b/feeding. Bottles were definitely frowned upon - certainly never suggested as an alternative. One midwife sat with me for about 2 hours the second night, when I felt I was getting nowhere.

sfxmum · 23/01/2006 18:46

oh apparently i am not alone in having negative experiences in hospital

my dd was born in june, my first. i was very clear i wanted to Bf. the birth was difficult, she was born in eve and spent first night in SCBU.
she also developed jaundice and we stayed in hospital 4 nights.
not the full story but was told

  • your breasts are too big
  • your nipples are the wrong sort
  • what do you want a pump for you have no milk (dh bought one and he sterilised in for me)
  • oh you are the one who is against bottles
  • if you dont give her a bottle your baby will die..

anyhow after much fuss left hospital feeling low but determined to succeed.
still BF at nearly 8months

nikkie · 23/01/2006 19:30

With dd1 very easy start and carry on so didn't need a lot of help except positioning (el-cs)carried on til she gave up 13 months.

dd2 struggled to feed as I was very ill,lots of probs from em-cs (turned out to be allergic to lots of the drugs they gave me) but on day 3/4 (can't remember much) I had a scan and radioactive dye injections so was unable to feedfor couple of days, at some point I said to bottlefeed (don't know if before or after) anyway eventually got home and day 11 visit(1st from hv, before this mw)Hv asked why I wasn't feeding after dd1 I explained and she said I could have restarted.
At this point I was still ill and started having fits so I decided to carry on bottle so my parents could help me (staying with them after split from husband)

Sorry for long ramble but it is theraputic as this is one of my major regrets and dd2 as a baby I don't remember properly

teacups · 23/01/2006 19:35

Really sad to read so many depressing experiences. I was really lucky - even though I had my DD in a busy hospital (st Thomas's in London) the MWs could not have been more supportinve over my BF. I had had a c section and couldn't lift DD out of her fishtank to feed. Every time I rang the bell for help, someone came and helped me to settle her on the boob with a pillow. When I went bonkers on the second night as she wouldn't stop feeding, a kindly MW sat with me for 2 hours talking me through it when I was ready to give up through sheer exhaustion. The next day, another star MW took her off me for an hour as she'd been told on handover that I'd been up feeding most of the night and she wanted me to have a break.

I appreciate that I was very lucky and am very sorry that other people's experiences have been so appalling. All maternity wards are littered with posters about BF - why do only some MWs seem to want to put the theory into practice?

mummytosteven · 23/01/2006 19:38

actually one of the MWs was great, very kind, supportive, and actually interested in difficulties I was having in expressing as often as I would like. Most of the MWs were adequate. One MW and HCA were grim. Unfortunately it's the grim ones you remember.

popmum · 23/01/2006 19:50

I think you should all name and shame those horrible hospitals who have given horrible advice - seriously - is this a regional thing or not?

I gave birth in Harlow, Essex and have to say i had brilliant support - mw sat with me for ages and got me sorted out, loads of positive support and those who were bottle feeding (this was nearly 3 yrs ago) seemed to be made to feel like they were a bit of a nuisance. I am due in 3 weeks with no 2 and went on a tour recently, saw the same midwife who supported us (all 3 of us really) so well and was soooooo pleased she was still there (actually she may have been a healthcare assistany).

AND my baby was taken for a bit in the night when she wouldn't settle (to the sin bin, my DH called it!) - so i could sleep a bit - no formula.

So come on, where are we talking about? In my area at ante natal classes they wouldn't even talk abotu bottle feeding.....

NotQuiteCockney · 23/01/2006 19:54

I had both DSes at the Royal London. Had a really hard time bf DS1. I did get to see a lactation consultant, who was able to loan me a breast pump, but I'd brought mine in (DS1 was in SCBU for 30 hours for spurious reasons).

Latch problems, when I finally got DS1, minimal support from midwives. They shoved him at the boob a lot. He wouldn't really latch. They did teach me how to cup feed him, which was useful, and respectful of my wish to avoid nipple confusion. My (independent) midwife was better, but not as good as a BFC would have been. He fed with shields for 3 months (and was skinny), then without shields to 18 months.

DS2, same hospital, natural breastfeeder (brought to breast in recovery, latched on beautifully). No problems. But I was offered a bottle, for no apparent reason. Oh, and when the ob-gyn came by to book my followup appointment, at 6 weeks, to check that my period had returned (!!) I was more than a little surprised.

Jackstini · 23/01/2006 19:57

Does anyone have any idea how good Nottingham City hospital is on th BF front? Due to give birth there in a few weeks and want to know if I need to build myself up some strongwilled HunkerMunker style Norkpower vibes in advance...?

NotQuiteCockney · 23/01/2006 20:00

Jackstini, a lot of your experience in a hospital is pretty random. I know at the London, anyway, most (all?) of the staff on the postnatal ward are bank workers, so it's very much luck of the draw.

I say this particularly because I know some of the London breastfeeding support staff (mates of my independent midwife, and also I visited a bf class with DS2 when he was about 9 months), and they're lovely, and fighting the good fight. But rubbish bank workers undermine everything.

katzg · 23/01/2006 20:04

i have to say i had very helpful MW's because i was on the 1 to 1 scheme which is fab but i had a negative experience at the hospital with the hospital midwives, i was merrily feeding dd1 when a midwife came over and shut my curtain and told me that my breast feeding was offending the male visitors of the women oposite !!!!

sfxmum · 23/01/2006 20:09

mine was the west middlesex hospital, london. understaffed mainly locum staff.
got lucky with kind and very old chinese midwife who was doing a couple of night shifts, she helped me to hand express and use syringe to collect milk.

chocolateshoes · 23/01/2006 20:19

Am shocked to hear of so many dreadful experiences, but would like to say that I was very lucky. At the RLI in Lancaster the midwives were fantastic & were really keen for me to breastfeed. They all, without exception, gave me the support I needed to establish bfeeding when I felt so awful after C-section.

Reading msnet its amazing how different people's experiences of birth etc are. Its like so many things - it depends where you live as to the service you get. Not the way it should be!

Pruni · 23/01/2006 20:21

Message withdrawn

pixie54 · 23/01/2006 20:23

Another vote for Harlow hospital - very, very supportive and helpful to me after a 23 hr labour and C-section. I breastfed for a year and couldn't have managed without that early support and encouragment.

MrsSpoon · 23/01/2006 20:29

When in hospital after having DS2 the girl opposite me was having a go at b/feeding her DS2, she said she didn't even try with her first but figured she'd give it a go. She worried about not having milk in the first few days (I did try and explain about colostrum), when the midwife came round she was teary and said the midwife about not having any milk, the midwife simply agreed with her that she didn't have any milk and if she preferred to give him a bottle she would go and get one for her. In the hours that I sat about waiting to be discharged I watched her flit between breast and bottle and the midwives offering no help. I tried to talk to her a bit about it (desperately trying not to sound preachy) but DS2 was only hours old I was trying desperately to get discharged so not really in a position to offer much help/support.

mears · 23/01/2006 20:42

If you want to know how your hospital is doing reagrding breastfeeding look here

VeniVidiVickiQV · 23/01/2006 20:45

My experiences were at Chase Farm Hospital in North London. Its been on tv tonight regarding the closure of its A & E dept. Some mws were lovely - usually daytime staff. Night time staff were horrid. One night i was in there the alarm went for a good half an hour. It turns out a woman being induced at suddenly gone into a very fast labour and baby was crowning etc.

I must say that my community mw who saw me ante natally and postnatally after discharge was absolutely fab.

Also, my HVs were absolutely excellent in the b/feeding support. Came to visit at the drop of a hat (i ended up with mastitis and thrush with DS)

Racers · 23/01/2006 20:47

chocolateshoes: I also had c-s at Lancaster and found the midwives to be very helpful - well, as much as I could expect and it was enough for me as luckily had few problems early on, DD was a champion bf'er. One boob shoving incident but wasn't too bad. Having allowed DD to go into the nursery in the hope of some sleep, I woke up in a panic and buzzed the MW in for reassurance that they would bring her if hungry and not give formula - I had the impression that this was the last thing they would do (give formula without consent I mean)! Friends of mine had expressing support etc when needed. The hospital has lost Unicef Baby Friendly status though, when I last checked.

BFC there is fab, I still go to her support group, sometimes for help but mainly to meet new people and hopefully encourage other people along the way.

Am very at reading these stories but wanted to add my comments about Lancaster as it appears to be doing very well in comparison.

Jasnem · 23/01/2006 20:50

Just spent 1/2 an hour reading all this thread, and realise how lucky I was to have delivered mine in Harlow (5&6years ago). I remember mostly HCAs, but very supportive and competent. I also know that the bottle feeding mums didn't get "extra" help, or have their babies taken in the night.

So glad I'll be back ther next month for no. 3.
I really thought it was the norm...very sad that it obviously isn't.

hotmama · 23/01/2006 20:56

Jackstini - I had dd1 at Nottm City - and hopefully will be going in imminently (due on Sunday). I was on Bonnington ward and as previously posted the mws at the hosp were brill and really helped. My problem was the HVs when I got back home.

I will post again after the birth of dd2 to update on the current position.

Pruni · 23/01/2006 20:56

Message withdrawn

Gem13 · 23/01/2006 21:00

With DS (2002) they took the bottlefed babies into the nursery at night. Tempting...

With DD (2004) 10 hours after a c-section and following much yelling by DD, I buzzed and asked (very politely) if the midwife could pick her up and rock her as I had picked her up and put her down so many times I felt I couldn't do it anymore. The midwife came and said she was too busy (seemed very quiet to me apart from DD) to hold her but if I felt like I wanted to throw her out of the window to call again . I felt absolutely miserable and useless.