Breastfeeding myths overheard in hospital

[hunkermunker]

Woman in the bed next to me was bottlefeeding because she "couldn't be arsed to breastfeed, and they're more settled on a bottle, innit". Er, yours wasn't, love - he cried, you snored through it. And as for the method of getting your newborn baby to take a bottle that your partner had discovered... Heard her telling her mum and dad as if it was hilarious that her DP had said "Finish the fucking bottle, then" and he'd drunk it

Woman in bed opposite me was told to "put the baby to the breast and leave him there as long as it took. It might be two hours. Just let him suck". Well, OK, but might've been nice to actually show her what to do, as she had no idea. Baby had a bottle in his mouth the next morning

Woman who was in the bed after woman opposite left said, "My milk isn't in yet, so I've been giving him bottles until it is". Instead of being told, "Just let him feed, you have colostrum, which is all he needs, your milk will be in soon, I'll help you if you need it" she was asked which formula she wanted

And today I've been told to only offer one breast at each feed and since I had DS2, they've asked me how often he's feeding - am I trying to get him to go three-hourly? Er, no, he's had low blood sugar. Nobody has mentioned feeding on demand to establish supply.

Am and and

Red - that is a disgrace. The DoH hasn't even managed to put the WHO, UNICEF recommendations into practice which should include banning baby food companies from putting "from 4 months" on their foods.

Any way DoH has alot of catching up to do. There is some lobbying going on to get the labels changed to "from 6 months" (and I hope even putting "exclusive BF is recommened for the first 6 months") on baby foods, but it has to actually happen in the form of legislaltion to ban such advertising and labelling, and no one knows when that will happen.

realise that some of you will have had dreadful experiences in hospital but what about some threads for places that the staff do support mums who are breastfeeding! I work as a sister in a NICU and I am also still breastfeeding my DD who is 9 months old. It was hard work and nearly gave up when she was 3 weeks old but got the support I needed to keep going. Feel that sometimes mums find it easier to blame health professionals when breastfeeding is difficult rather than accepting that it does not always come naturally and can take up to 6 weeks for both mother and baby to learn how to get it right.

I was talking about it with my husband last night and he said that we don't live in a dictatorship (hmmm...) and the government can't legislate for these aspects of life. But no one says that about smoking, do they? (Except perhaps dyed-in-the-wool puffers) There is plenty around about reducing salt intake, risks of diabetes, excess alcohol consumption etc. At the moment the DoH is just paying lip service to the notion of exclusive breastfeeding for six months. Is everyone afraid of offending formula feeders??

Cali: in the post-natal group I've been going to, some people introduced themselves and said that they were bottle feeding because the baby 'didn't take to the breast'. Which I find very difficult to believe. If you make an informed choice to formula feed, then that's one thing - but these people seem to feel the need to excuse their choice. Perhaps women need to be made aware that it can take six or so weeks to 'click' (it certainly did for me).

Red and Cali - you are both right. Women should not be given the impression that BF is easy. It is not. In fact it is bloody hard work.

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I was one of those people who had attended a NCT class on BF when pregas. and thought, "ok, that looks fine, tummmy to mummy, rub nose to nipple, etc, that looks dead esay !"

I would like to see more "contingency" info. given out at ante-natal classes, so that in situations where you are a hard core fascist like me and refuse to give formual at any cost, then you should be aware what your options are, i.e. I now realise I could have expressed colostrum, etc, and cup fed my son while he was "learning" to latch. In the end many of us learn the hard way, i.e. through pig-headedness, and keep going until it works out.

Well said Pruni. I am one of the women who has complained of terrible experiences and appalling, cruel treatment. However I did breastfeed both my sons, despite it being so painful in the first couple of months that I used to cry and could hardly hold the baby because my arm was shaking with pain. I just didn't get the help and support I could have done with. It's too easy just to put complaints down to lazy whining mums who don't want to make the effort - I think they're quite rare really

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What really helped for me (apart from being bloody imded anyway! ) was having attended a breast feeding workshop beforehand at which one of the two breast feeding mums there "as examples" had had a really difficult time. Her ds was a breast refuser, but she didn't want to give up. She was all set to express full time and had hired/bought the machines to do so when she experimented with nipple shields and found that her ds would finally latch on.

She was my inspiration when ds was an awkward bugger. I actually got to know her at the breast feeding support group that the hospital ran - and she successfully fed her ds for over 6 months through nipple shields! (I then lost touch as I went back to work)

Real examples like that are so important. I re-paid the favour and went along to a couple of the workshops as the "example" of a BF mum - and was later (at said support group) told that the problems I had epxereinced had in turn inspired other mums-to-be to persever when they experience problems.

The problem is that the workshops are already preaching to the (semi) converted. What really needs to be doen is to ask more b/f mums to come along to the ante natal classes - where they might get a chance to talk to mums who hadn't even thought that bf was a realistic option for them.

pretty - spot on !

The NCT workshop when I was pregas. was great, the only problem was that there were no real life stories. We practiced with plastic dolls. What would have been great (with a great deal of hindsight) would have been asking some real life mums and real life babies to come along, show us how to BF, and then talk about their problems as well as all the good stuff

You are spot on about preaching to the converted. Those of us most enthusiastic about BF when preganat were the ones who persisted with it despite the problems.

Those who weren't sure in the NCT workshop gave up very soon after their babies were born. Of the 7 women who attended that session, only 2 of us are still BF-ing (our sons are around 18 - 19 months old) 2 went on til about 5 - 6 months, the rest gave up in the first week. Not a good track record unfortunately.

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I agree that talking to women and mothers getting support from other mothers can be crucial. But how can an antenatal class ensure a representative selection of mothers to appear to talk to pg mothers.....if someone is having problems, they do not want to go to a class of pg mothers and talk about how bloody difficult it is. The ones who want to come are bound to be the ones for whom it is going well

Cali, I've posted here before about the fantastic support I got from my HV and b/f counsellor (once I actually got to see the counsellor - first time I went she was on holiday and I just got sent away again. I wonder how many women, in pain, suffering from lack of sleep, would have seen that as the final straw?).

However, it is true that there are plenty of health professionals who give out plain wrong and misleading advice, or don't actually help women who need support. I've not come across anyone using health professionals as an excuse for bottle-feeding. But I have come across people with terrible stories of being let down very badly. And I've seen it happen to family and friends.

There are plenty of women who had problems with BF and who have overcome them and very happy to talk about the problems they had.

At our LLL meetings we discuss all sorts of problems (and solutions of course) and many of us would be more than happy to be asked to an antenatal class to give a proper perspective of BF: the Good, the Bad and the Ugly perspective if you like !

I know plenty of mothers who would be quite happy to go to an antenatal class and talk about the realities of BF. Some would not mind breastfeeding their baby or toddler in front of an audience.

Perhaps the NCT should ask the LLL for some volunteers ?

Yep I'd be happy to talk to groups about B/f even though I only feed DS for 6mths. I had big difficulties and did feel that it was just me being useless, not that it was usual. B/f was made to seem very easy and that it would just happen - magic! after the shock of birth, finding that B/f isn't that easy is hard - you just don't have the spare capacity to figure it out sometimes.

I went to NCT antenatel classes and was shot down in flames when I asked if we would cover bottle feeding too so that we could all make informed choices.

I expected that the info we'd been given about B/f to be good, in the end the info provided was very poor.

Tiktok, I'm currently in the middle of a red lumpy boob scenario and had lots of problems with DS1 and I'd happily go to an antenatal class and talk about bfeeding. But I'm hard core, I know that

hunkermunker...you are the Norkmeister General

Amongst my "peers" of breast feeder, there were a number who overcame problmes of various kinds - yet we weren't often (I won't say never) asked to go and talk to the ante natal classes.

Each of us who had had problmes and who had been to the workshops (as oppsed to ante natal classes - the difference being you are already preaching to the willing) as "real life examples" (and yes, we did also breast feed in front of them) had "inspired" a soon-to-be mother to persevere, and who in turn was willing to pass on her experience.

I am sure we could have done more with the "not even thought about it/don't want to think about it" preganant ladies (and their partners) if we had got a chance to get in front of them.

This is a really interesting thread. I knew very little about breastfeeding before I had my DD, I got no support in hospital and it was only sheer pigheadedness (like many others who have posted) that got me through the pain and soreness during the first six weeks. My mother and sister had both breastfed without any problems, so I just assumed I would do the same. I would have been mortified if I'd had to resort to the bottle.

I didn't hear any myths from health professionals - I was just ignored!! I had to rely on my own research rather than receiving any useful support from anyone else. My mother and sister had both breastfed but neither had experienced any problems like mine so couldn't offer any advice. I now make a point of mentioning to any pregnant women I meet that they need to read up on breastfeeding before the baby comes and try to stick with it for at least six weeks. It was such a relief when I was finally established and everything was plain sailing. No one told me this and I think I would have found it such a comfort to have that milestone to focus on.

I recently met up with an old friend who had already been bottlefeeding for 6 months. I got the feeling that she thought I disapproved of her bottlefeeding, but I understood that she had had problems with breastfeeding during the first few days while her baby was in SCBU. In an effort to let her know that I empathised with her, I told her that breastfeeding was really hard work to start with. Unfortunately she then turned to her husband and said "you know I think I'll just go straight to the bottle with the next one" - i.e. not even bother trying with the breast! I hurriedly said that breastfeeding is wonderful once you are established, and it's really worth sticking at - but she didn't seem convinced!! I think this is indicative of a major problem in the breast vs bottle debate - you do have to be absolutely committed to get breastfeeding to work. If a woman isn't that bothered - which many women aren't - then they'll just give up at the first problem.

I don't know what to do to "make" women more bothered about breastfeeding. Now that we have a whole generation of women, the majority of whom were bottlefed and now bottlefeed their own children - "I was bottlefed and it didn't do me any harm" - how do you turn that around??

OK - here's my take on 'real' mothers at the breastfeeding class. I think the real support from other mothers comes afterwards. Having mothers at the class is something I avoid doing when I am giving a class. Reason? You cannot get a representative cross section. The mother sitting there is way more powerful than I can be, or the class discussion can be. So she has a great experience breastfeeding? Terrific - but she can be so starry-eyed about it, the class take away the message that it is gonna be wonderful for them, too. And it is very hard for the class facilitator (me, in this case) to give an alternative view without seeming to rubbish the mother's experience - she's there, eyes glowing, and it risks being belittling to say 'not everyone experiences this'.

What is worse is you get someone who is thrilled with herself and breastfeeding - but she says something like 'you must do xyz, and I found it really good to do abc, and don't do cde, because you will create problems' and comes out with stuff that is just not generally helpful. I have had mothers who have advised the whole class to give formula at night, or who swear by some tip or other that I know will not work for all of them, and I hate saying 'yes, but.....' all the way through, as again it seems to devalue her own experience.

And the very worst one is the mother who had a miserable experience and is now using formula and is very angry with breastfeeding and feels terrible for using formula, and tells the class not to make a big deal of breastfeeding like she did, and formula is better than breastmilk because dad can do it. She needs some support and a listening ear, but I can't do that in public with the class there.

I have had all those scenarios and more. Mothers come along and tend to present their experience as 'the one' and certainly, people in the class remember it too well!!

Meandmyboy - you need to complain if you felt the bf info was poor at the NCT class you went to. But you can't complain you didn't discuss bottle feeding. It's a breastfeeding class - you go there to learn about breastfeeding, and this will have been explained to you when you booked the course. If you go to a driving school, you won't get taught to ride a motor bike or use a bus

Breastfeeding is what the person leading the class is trained to teach you. Most will also discuss the use of bottles but they will not divide the class content 50-50 into breast and bottle.

tiktok, I think you are being a little unnecessarily negative. My health visitor who knew me from my antenatal class and was aware of my experiences and opinions persuaded me to "demonstrate" breastfeeding to an antenatal class, along with a few others from my antenatal class. We had had a range of experiences between the three of us, and I like to believe the expectant mothers found us helpful. (Some of them still recognised me in the street ten years later, which I found a bit spooky!)

Not read all this thread so I'm not sure if there are any positive stories here... but my hospital was fantastic about breastfeeding. There were a few midwives who sat with me for hours helping breastfeeding. DD is 16weeks now and I'm still breastfeeding.

However there are a lot of myths / bad advice. My friend came out of hospital the day after her baby was born saying she had to use formula as she didn't have enough milk.
I also know a lot of people who got told that formula fed babies sleep better than breastfed, so know people who chose formula for that reason. My DD sleeps twelve hours at night, has done since about week ten.

I do think that a lot of the confusing things I was told about breastfeeding came from the Health Visitors who each had a different thing to say, which got confusing. It's a shame, as I really do (now) enjoy feeding DD, I find it very calming and luckily my DD is very comforted by breastfeeding.

Tiktok - the way it was done at the breastfeeding workshops I went to was that two breastfeeding mums went along - one who had had it easy and the other who had struggled but who had ultimately been successful. We were hand picked by the hospitals breast feeding counsellors, who knew us fromt he breadt feeding support group that they ran, so they knew we were exclusively breast feeding. With hindsight though, I wsh I had suggested that they made more use of us. We would all have been happy to talk to other groups - especially as we were on maternity leave at the time.

I can just go by how many people came up to me later and said I had been inspirational to them when they encoutenred problems - and by my own experience where someone's tought time (albeit for a different reason to my own) inspired me.

I also remember going to a chrisitneing when ds was about 6 weeks old: I was giving him a feed and another mum began talking to me. She made the comment (I am not even sure I had said that ds was being awkard) that it can take up to 8 weeks to get feeding established. I remember that being very supportive as well.

If people aren't told it might be difficult, then they'll give up before thier milk has even come in - let along getting to 6 weeks, let alone getting to 6 months, let alone getting to a year....

Interesting point of view tiktoc and yes I can see that it could be difficult to find the balance between a mothers experience and what the mums to be's experience might be.

I like your analogy of the driving school but even when I was taugh to drive I was taught where to watch for Motor Cycles when driving and when to make allowances for buses. So just general information.

I did expect to get information to be able to make an informed choice about what would suit us when the time came and not be shot down in flames in front of 12 strangers on our first class - and I am the only person that has B/f out of our class until 6mths through my own pigheadedness not the help there.

Even if you are B/f you still may need to use bottles to feed expressed milk so info on sterilising, bottle types, what reflux is, how to help it etc would have been useful.