Breastfeeding myths overheard in hospital

[hunkermunker]

Woman in the bed next to me was bottlefeeding because she "couldn't be arsed to breastfeed, and they're more settled on a bottle, innit". Er, yours wasn't, love - he cried, you snored through it. And as for the method of getting your newborn baby to take a bottle that your partner had discovered... Heard her telling her mum and dad as if it was hilarious that her DP had said "Finish the fucking bottle, then" and he'd drunk it

Woman in bed opposite me was told to "put the baby to the breast and leave him there as long as it took. It might be two hours. Just let him suck". Well, OK, but might've been nice to actually show her what to do, as she had no idea. Baby had a bottle in his mouth the next morning

Woman who was in the bed after woman opposite left said, "My milk isn't in yet, so I've been giving him bottles until it is". Instead of being told, "Just let him feed, you have colostrum, which is all he needs, your milk will be in soon, I'll help you if you need it" she was asked which formula she wanted

And today I've been told to only offer one breast at each feed and since I had DS2, they've asked me how often he's feeding - am I trying to get him to go three-hourly? Er, no, he's had low blood sugar. Nobody has mentioned feeding on demand to establish supply.

Am and and

Doesn't matter what successive govts say - Britain is not family friendly. Wish it was more like Norway.

innorway - I think you are spot on with what you say about emphasis on family life. You can't expect to pay mothers peanuts as maternity pay and then expect them to BF for more than 6 months once they are under financial pressure to go back to work. I think better terms and conditions for maternity leave, less worry about money when we have to look after our babes and BF would help towards improving BF rates in the UK.

In the end those of us who want to stay at home until our children are school age and BF our toddlers are penalised financially for making that choice.

Norway sounds like a good place to live.

(OT) Is the food there as bad as I fear? I've been to Iceland, and was depressed by the food ...

I have heard its alot of fish on the menu - but that's very good brain food isn't it which is another reason Norwegians are more BF smarter than we are ??

Just to put the other side of the story. My friend who gave birth at the same time as me was offered support, daily visits, a group to attend and a whole pack full of info and money off coupons. I got zilch, and guess what - she was the BFer and I FF.

I got NO support for my decision and the worst myth I heard re breastfeeding was - 'it doens't hurt' closley followed by 'all mother enjoy breastfeeding'.

My HV stopped coming once I was FFing because as she said'oh well i don't have time for you as you've decided to formula feed, after all theres mums out there who are breastfeeding and they deserve my help'

riab - sorry to hear you have had poor treatment.

But as many here will tell you BF doesn't hurt if done properly i.e. there must be a good latch (so I am afraid it IS a myth that BF is painful). Because it is a natural way to feed a baby, nature has made sure it is not painful to either mother or baby.

No, not all mothers enjoy Bf. That is true. But many millions round the world DO, which is why they continue to Bf well into toddler-hood.

The whole point to all this is that as most of us have experienced formula feeding in the UK is accepted as the norm and most of the time mothers who choose to BF have very little support, either from the health profs. or financially.

Believe you me, in money terms we are no better off than formula-feeding mothers PLUS we are stigmatised if we choose to BF a toddler (please see other thread re. ch. 4 programme).

So we get a raw deal too !

That's bad, riab....you should complain about the remark made by your HV.

I think formula feeding mothers probably do need more information than they get - formula feeding is not without its problems. You certainly see this on mumsnet.

nanneh - I think you will find that there are mums on here who did perserve with breast feeding, who had had their latch confirmed as OK loads of times by experts and for who it did hurt.

Personally, it never hurt me - but then my problem was a ds who had a very "soft" latch and who pretended to suck.

Yeah, loads of fish - and told by HS to give cod liver oil to babies from 2wks old!!

It is a great country for family and family work balance (in an earlier message I was saying how childcare costs 1/4 of what it costs in the UK) - plus working day short, maternity leave good (paternity leave 2 weeks with mother, 5 weeks on own with baby at end of first year), etc etc.

However I'm from London and have moved to a town (they call it a city) with pop.150,000 so much very limited with choice - so perhaps a bit on the boring side (although wonderful outdoors - mountains sea etc etc skating on the lakes in the winter, swimming in the same lakes in the summer)

And wine and chocolate costs the earth. But we all bf

pretty - All I was trying to do was NOT confirm a myth that BF hurts.

I appreciate that in some situations it does, sorry, you are right. There will be some situations where BF hurts. I for one had thrush for a month and it was bloody agony to BF my son. But again this is an unusual medical situation and it passes.

I'm with prettybird: it can hurt, even if done properly. I think it's a HUGE myth that if if it hurts, you're doing it wrong.

I've persevered, but my right breast hurt like hell initially. This was a shooting pain into the breast, rather than an external pain relating to chewed nipples or anything else you might associate with a poor latch. Various people confirmed that the latch was good and I could see the right muscles working in my daughter's jaw. This stopped after a while, but recently the same breast has started hurting again - but I think this is something to do with the dear child flicking the nipple in her mouth when she starts feeding .

I really didn't enjoy breastfeeding at first and couldn't see how I was going to get to six months. It took about six or seven weeks before it clicked and got better - and now I enjoy it.

Back onto BF and away from Norway

First 2 babies I found BF absolute agony for first couple of weeks - enough to make me cry - pain almost as bad as giving birth itself - but fed both babes til they were 1. 2nd baby also managed to almost tear off nipple - massive open wound - (he was a big hungry baby) - even hs was suprised at the damage - 2 1/2 years later I still have a scar to show for my efforts. Last baby BF went a dream (but only had a 4 mth break before stopping with 2nd child and beginning with 3rd!!). But it has felt all worth it in the end (still bf last child, now nearly 9 mths old). Although now I've begun to have enough - she pinches the other boob or my inner arm while feeding, not quite the relaxing experience that it should be!

Agree first couple of weeks hurt until my nipples toughened up (lovely!!). Now it hurts when dd sinks teeth in to get a reaction. Still enjoy it though.

Red and Innorway - sorry again. Was not trying to say it NEVER hurts. I am just aware that this thread is about myths, and I don't want to perpetrate any more myths about BF than the 1000's that still seem to exist in hospitals and within the general public.

I had terrible shooting pains when DS and I got thrush and my breasts got very sore at the beginning when he seemed to chomp away none stop. Now at 19 months he pinches and bites every now and then ! I think it all comes down to how worthwhile you think BF is and something moondog said on another thread which I totally agree with - the mother must be determined and persist in order for BF to be a success. It is not alawys other people's fault when BF isn't successfull.

Sorry, don't want to step on any more toes, just my personal view.

Oh, and a bit of patience and Lansinoh go a long way to ease pain !

Yes, I've been lucky to have had about as easy a ride as you can get with my dds but still found myself wincing quite a lot in the first fortnight.

In the early days of breastfeeding, when I was having to use nipple shields for my pathetically flat nipples and it was all terribly difficult and depressing, my husband asked me what I would do if I couldn't feed her properly. (I think he was trying to indicate that he was happy to use formula, if it would benefit my mental health - bless him...)

"Failure is not an option!" I said.

He was laughing that it was like being in the marines...

Breastfeeding hurts like mad at the beginning; ffs, razor-sharp gums are being applied to your tenderly swollen nork. No way is that going to be painless. I found it rather like acupuncture - if it hurt on the right spot I knew the latch was right.

Nanneh - I agree with you that it is a myth that BF always hurts - but it equally a myth to say that it doesn't.

if mums are warned that it may hurt for a while, then they are better equipped to cope and to get bf established - and to give up becasue of the pain. And yes - make sure that their latch is checked to make sure that there is no obvious reason for the pain.

yes I agree MI this myth that bf should never hurts is unhelpful
it CAN hurt at the beginning but generally it passes (after a couple of weeks I would reckon)
it's like when you go out for a ride on a bike - you're a bit saddle sore but you get used to it

Sometimes bf hurts more as time goes on, without anything being wrong - I get severe let-down pain. I know it's relatively rare, but it does exist, it hurts a lot. Starts a few weeks in, and carries on for a few months. Nasty.

But still less unpleasant than having to make up bottles, etc, I figure.

Just wanted to add something about Baby Cafes, in case my experience is any help.

We set one up in Richmond, Surrey, through the NCT. We only had one bf counsellor, and loads of women having babies, so we really needed more help. We're lucky to have 3 NCT bf counsellor trainees (inc. me) to help get momentum going and when we rang the local Primary Care Trust they said they wanted to do a bf clinic too. There were 3 HVs who are keen on bf, and together we worked out a proper Bf policy for the PCT (they didn't have one!) using the sample one on the Unicef Baby Friendly website. Our bf counsellor also did a training session for local HVs. We got the Baby Cafe set up pack (£15 admin fee, but v. useful - each Baby Cafe also pays a small annual charge for the logo, website info and support). We were lucky that the PCT has a big room in a health centre as well as 2 good HVs to staff it, along with our NCT bf counsellor and a couple of volunteers (usually inc. me and my toddler!).

We opened weekly in May, and it's been brilliant. 10- 25 mums come each week, often returning after everything's fine for cakes and chat, so new mums having problems can see older babies feeding happily!

It helped doing it through NCT, but isn't vital if you can get a good HV on side.
(sorry - long post, too enthusiastic!)

I just wanted to concur with the 2 myths - b/feeding always hurts or b/feeding never hurts - neither are 100% the case.

My initial posts here were quite vociferous (rightly so), but for a bit of redress and in acknowlegement of the fantastic job alot of MWs do (including the excellent advice we get from mws on MN) i have started this thread

There are always some positives with the negatives

Just wanted to add that as someone who has previously worked in the health service for over 10 years, I understand some previous posts about short staffing, resources etc. However, to use a bit of a cliche, it costs nothing to smile and be polite, and in my experience of 2 births at one hospital and one at another that is what was sadly lacking. I was told dd1 was a 'disagreeable baby' (5 years later it still upsets me)and 'cried like a 3 month old' (still haven't worked that one out), and have had various other comments made about dd2 and 3, including derogatory comments about their names. I do sympathise with what MWs have posted but most I met need to remember that what they do every single day of their working life and may seem hum drum to them is the biggest thing EVER in the lives of each and every one of their patients, and it would be no stretch of their imagination (or resources) to smile, say 'congratulations' and try and make their patients feel they actually matter. That should be a basic standard before they even get started on what they can offer in terms of support for bf or anything else. I never found a good hospital MW, and feel sorry for the good ones having their professional standing brought down by the cruel, vicious bullies that I encountered.

I absolutely hated bfing for the first 6-7 months (yes months not weeks). Reasons:

1 absolute agony of the first 2 weeks (nipple trauma) gave way to just bloody painful throughout the whole feed but bearable. This pain was there pretty much through the entire feed for most feeds. This was not let-down pain. I've never felt any sort of let-down nor had any real leaking so I suppose the painful nipples were the price for that (PLEASE no-one start on about the latch couldn't have been right - IT WAS - I had about 6 different mws and bf counsellers tell me it was - ds is tongue tied though so that might have been the problem)

2 DS almost NEVER fed peacefully. In fact I always watch babies bfeed when I can just for comaprison and they often seem calmer then he was/is. He used to scratch himself and pull at his ears (so much they often bled) and as soon as he could would scratch and pinch me for the entire feed - he has only just stopped doing this. He would also cry during feeds if over-tired, bfeeding NEVER calmed him if he was really agitated to begin with - just made it worse.

3 Shy about public bfing

So not everyone has the peaceful lovely bfing experience. In fact my dh and I would laugh (you have to or you cry) and talk in a very ironic way about how beautiful and serene breastfeeding ds was

Oh the memories of how I hated it come back - isn't it amazing how things can change?

Now bfing is nowhere near as painful - though it still is for some feeds (14 months) and I even quite enjoy it most of the time.

Frees - thanks for the very positive post about Baby Cafes. I have been thinking about setting one up near where I live.

Could you give me some advice please ? Who did you contact first ? I am not a health prof. so don't know any one apart from my GP and HV (neither of whom are very enthusiastic about BF).

If I do contact the local hospitals or PCT, who should I ask for ?

I have a feeling there is no BF policy in my borough either, so that would be a good place to start.

Thanks.