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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Breastfeeding myths overheard in hospital

412 replies

hunkermunker · 23/01/2006 15:23

Woman in the bed next to me was bottlefeeding because she "couldn't be arsed to breastfeed, and they're more settled on a bottle, innit". Er, yours wasn't, love - he cried, you snored through it. And as for the method of getting your newborn baby to take a bottle that your partner had discovered... Heard her telling her mum and dad as if it was hilarious that her DP had said "Finish the fucking bottle, then" and he'd drunk it

Woman in bed opposite me was told to "put the baby to the breast and leave him there as long as it took. It might be two hours. Just let him suck". Well, OK, but might've been nice to actually show her what to do, as she had no idea. Baby had a bottle in his mouth the next morning

Woman who was in the bed after woman opposite left said, "My milk isn't in yet, so I've been giving him bottles until it is". Instead of being told, "Just let him feed, you have colostrum, which is all he needs, your milk will be in soon, I'll help you if you need it" she was asked which formula she wanted

And today I've been told to only offer one breast at each feed and since I had DS2, they've asked me how often he's feeding - am I trying to get him to go three-hourly? Er, no, he's had low blood sugar. Nobody has mentioned feeding on demand to establish supply.

Am and and

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Aloha · 24/01/2006 23:08

I suspect the night staff are the worst - lots of couldn't care less agency staff. Yet at night is when you are most likely to alone and frightened.

mummytosteven · 24/01/2006 23:10

I do feel ashamed to be whingeing when people on here like MoM, Aloha, Melsy and others who posted earlier on this thread have had such appalling experiences.

Original poster
hunkermunker · 24/01/2006 23:13

Agree, Pruni, but if bfeeding's not something that's important to them to do for their own children, I would say it's difficult for them to be trained to be appropriately sympathetic and understanding of the need to breastfeed that so many women have.

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ellasmum1 · 24/01/2006 23:14

Yes julie - hope new hospital(if they can afford it) is much better designed re space/privacy! I know of certain staff who firmly believe bf is just too much hassle this day in age and undo alot of good work by slyly persuading women to switch to bottle.Very frustrating if you have just spent hours supporting someone!

Original poster
hunkermunker · 24/01/2006 23:14

Aloha, when I went in to discuss the bfeeding "support" in my maternity unit, the head of midwifery went through my notes to see who I'd been seen by. She started all "Oh, it's probably agency staff" and ended up admitting they were all permanent midwives still employed by the hospital. But the blase way in which she assumed it was agency staff makes me think that you're largely right - the depressing thing is that it's not just agency staff who behave so offhandedly.

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Pruni · 24/01/2006 23:15

Message withdrawn

melsy · 24/01/2006 23:18

Thank you for your congratulations Aloha. Doesnt seem real still,and may be wotn until Im in a delivery room, may be my brains sub concious way of helping me right now.

Original poster
hunkermunker · 24/01/2006 23:18

Oh, of course it's not good enough! I think they should be shot, but I'm a trifle militant

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Aloha · 24/01/2006 23:19

Ah, it's a lovely thing Melsy. how many weeks are you?

ellasmum1 · 24/01/2006 23:19

I know i feel differently about it since trying it myself for example. Ironically i now understand more when women don't want to bf/find it difficult.Not so much because of physical issues like latching/sore nipples,but the emotional aspects like the embarrassment feeding in public etc. I found that side of it harder than i ever imagined.

melsy · 24/01/2006 23:20

11+4 I think !

Pruni · 24/01/2006 23:26

Message withdrawn

bobbybobbobbingalong · 25/01/2006 03:05

The only ridiculous thing that a MW said to me was "can I get you a cup of tea?". I don't know how she thought I would drink it. I was obviously very lucky if that's the worst that happened to me.

I am going to drop a letter into the hospital on Bob's 3rd birthday telling them how fab they were with bfing support.

In ChCh the worst you would get is 2 women in a room (your own room if you have a CS for first night) and you get 3 nights in hospital, (5 for CS).

Meanoldmummy · 25/01/2006 08:40

I've just read last night's contributions on this thread. It brings back a few memories. I remember a similar moment in the bathroom - staring in to the mirror trying to see the worthless piece of refuse that they must be seeing - about three weeks after being admitted. I said to dh at the time that I felt like I had slipped through a crack in the pavement and landed in Hell. Every day the midwives lied about the protein level in my urine - they wrote in the notes that it was 1+ lower than it actually was. dh and I stole a pot of testing strips and repeated it. We showed our results to one of the doctors and he agreed to talk to the consultant. We didn't see him again. I complained about terrifying "strobe effect" headaches (having been admitted with pre-eclampsia, among other things) and was given paracetamol and nothing recorded in my notes. At one point three nurses had failed to get blood out of my arm and left, giggling - then with no warning a male nurse barged in, didn't even look at me, grabbed my arm and stuck the needle in half way up my fore-arm. It was very painful and left a huge black bruise. Another charming incident following the birth took place in the toilet opposite the midwives' office when I know there were at least four of them sitting in there chatting. I accidentally knocked out my canula on the loo roll dispenser (big clunking lump of metal - groggy mal-coordinated me) and blood started to literally spurt onto the floor and wall. I was still finding it difficult to get on and off the toilet having just given birth with SPD. I screamed and screamed for help. I ended up lying on the floor in a pool of blood until a passing doctor heard the screams, saw the blood coming under the door and helped me. He couldn't understand how the midwives didn't hear me. Later two midwives verbally attacked me for not screaming loudly enough and getting them into trouble. They also implied that I had done it deliberately. I'd forgotten about that.

No-one is going to convince me that understaffing and job dissatisfaction are sufficient explanations for the treatment I suffered. The midwives I met made Beverly Allitt look like Mary Poppins. And it wasn't a couple of rogue midwives, it was virtually all of them. And being in hospital for 6 weeks, I saw a lot.

hotmama · 25/01/2006 09:06

F*cking hell!

I can't believe some of the experiences some of you have had. I thank my lucky stars that my care in hosp was good and it was just in the community it got so crap.

As previously posted, dd2 is due on Sunday - I hope the care at Nottm City hasn't changed since I was in there in 2004 - but I will be going in prepared to be very arsey if it has - just as well that dp is a lawyer and will be accompanying me etc.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 25/01/2006 09:06

I had some "mis-information" too on my notes about what times they had come round to check my bp (supposedly during the night).

Made a mockery of my being kept in.

I keep thinking of more and more things. I didnt realise how awful i felt about all of this until posting on here........its been somewhat cathartic.

Hunker you have a lot to answer for

allyco · 25/01/2006 09:39

I remember BFing my second DD (she's now 13) and the midwife coming along and saying "if you're going to do THAT can you close the curtains it upsets the bottlefeeding mums" this was on the postnatal ward.

I was the only BFer there. All the bottlefeeders had their babies' bottles brought to them, and quite often taken away when they were empty too.

AND I remember the miwdwives coming round about 9.00pm every evening shepherding everyone else out for a ciggie and being amused that I didn't smoke...

karenferris · 25/01/2006 10:56

My DH was told that the midwives were not telepathic when he asked if someone would come to check that I was breastfeeding properly . They didn't come and we couldn't get home quick enough - we were blessed that all is ok and our DD didn't have any probs really - it did make us want to move for no.2 so we end up at a different hospital or go private!!

Meanoldmummy · 25/01/2006 10:59

Telepathic? I think most of them must have their hearing organs on their legs, like grasshoppers.

Sociopathic would be closer.

beejay · 25/01/2006 11:02

Christ these stories make me want to rush down to the nearest maternity hospital and volunteer my services.

Also had awful time in hospital, though nothing compared to you ladies. Ward filthy and there was (other people's) blood all over the toilet seat. Bath was disgusting. Had to scrub it with jif before I could get in. Other people's babies screaming all night, no-one helping them. Slept about 2 hours. Still remember the stale cheese sandwich i was given after a 35 hour labour which i couldn't eat. Never felt so alone in all my life.
I swore I would go private next time although I am completely pro-NHS in every other way!

Having said that the midwife who delivered my child was great.

beejay · 25/01/2006 11:04

Would hate to be pregnant for first time and reading these stories. Would terrify me

Meanoldmummy · 25/01/2006 11:06

Yes....that worries me a bit actually. Being pregnant is scary enough without being scared witless by horror stories (like mine) - I hate to think of anyone fretting like that. I am told most people don't have experiences like mine at all.

hotmama · 25/01/2006 11:19

Who in their right mind would have a bath in a post-natal ward? Looking at the cleanliness of some of the other patients - no f*cking way. Waited until I got home - thanks for whoever invented Badedas - such a fab recommendation from friends who had babies.

hotmama · 25/01/2006 11:20

Just as well I'm not expecting for the first time as I would be crapping it. However, I think this thread is telling it how it is - so at least first-timers will be prepared.

Original poster
hunkermunker · 25/01/2006 11:52

Can I just say that both my labours have been managed really well, the delivery suite was clean, the midwives were kind and chatty and I had two lovely births.

The postnatal bfeeding support was lacking, yes. But I met uninformed people, not unkind ones. So please don't panic if you are pg for the first time and reading this thread.

What I would recommend is getting as much information about your rights and making sure that you ask questions about what's happening with you and your baby.

If I'd had the problems with blood sugars I had with DS2 with DS1, I'd not have had the knowledge or confidence to refuse formula, for instance.

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