High-Need Baby Support Thread II

[tickleme63]

Hey ladies, here's a shiny new thread for us to discuss, query, whinge about and rejoice our high-need bubs!

Pretty bad night last night, bleeding exhausted. Can see why so many of you co-sleep. We haven't gone down that route, but it's never looked so attractive...

Gawd, grizzly DS. Poor tooths. Hope you have had a decent night!

Fantastic titania!! Both on the curry and the weight loss Hope you have a fabulous time tonight!!

We had a shit night, frankly. Started well but then woke twice between 11.30 and 2, at which point he decided to be Wide Awake until 4!! Why oh why oh why oh why oh why????? I had to enlist DP after the first hour as I couldn't hack it. He finally fell back to sleep at 4 only to be woken at 6.10 by DP's alarm. So we're all shattered today...awesome.

Titania Well done! And enjoy your night out - I'm always excited about curry, same as Button, mmm. Want one now!

Sorry you've had a shitty night Jen Ours was a bit better than the last few weeks, he seemed to settle a bit easier after night feeds. Although he had another one of his meltdowns where he refused the boob and took a bottle, and then accepted the boob. Wants the best of both worlds, my boy...

Have agreed my return to work now with my boss: going back 3 days per week for the first month, 4 days a week for the second month and then full time from then on, with my flexible working proposal in effect throughout too. Feel so lucky to have pretty much chosen how and when I will return, and although I will miss DS beyond belief, I'm looking forward to getting a bit of 'me' back :)

Tickle- that's really great terms!!
Jen, bad night here too ( that's what I get for panicking about him sleeping thru!!) he was up from 3.40-5am. So tired today- but am off work so at least I have that!

Titania- I started SW last night!! Looking forward to losing weight as am not really good about myself! Haven't really clicked that I can fill up on free foods so I need to get more prepared!!
Button, rest assured that the perfect buggy doth not exist!!! That's why I have several, and you'll probably go through a few in the quest too!! Think us mums should design one tbh!!!

I know, feel very lucky. I get to work from home all apart from 3 days every 2 weeks as well, it's so perfect. Can't quite believe its worked out as well as it has!

TMI alert... DS just had his first 'lump' of poo... I so miss his pre-wean nappies, particularly the smell! Didn't think he was actually eating anything yet, so it was a bit of a shocker!

Oops so that didn't work. DS woke up soon after I left. DH tried to calm him - didn't work, so gave him a bath (always works). For him out of the bath he screamed. He's got a bit of a cold and we think he's teething so DH gave him 1/2 spoon of calpol, which ended up all over the babygrow. So DH re-dressed him again. When I got home he was wearing 2 vests a short-sleeved one over a long-sleeved one. No idea why. Oh well he's asleep again now. I only went out for two hours!

we've had proper poo here too tickle - horrible! One the other day had flecks of oregano in, the day after we'd had pasta with tomato sauce congrats on the return to work stuff - it must be a weight off your mind to have it sorted out!

I need matchsticks today as DS was awake at 10, 11.30, 2, 4ish, 5 then up for the day at 6. I'll be glad when his cold is over! DP has it too and of course he's got manflu.

We're going to our first slingmeet today which I'm looking forward to, just hope I can park ok! I may have accidentally bought a rose and rebellion SSC last night to add to my moby, close baby carrier, ellaroo ring sling and didy Eva...oh and I won a Hopp sling in the Bolton sling library raffle! I think I'm becoming slightly obsessed.

Mampig I hear you. Fancy going on Dragons Den once we've designed the perfect one?! My mate is about to sell her P&T Vibe - thinking it might be heading this way

Titania did he text you though to tell you how bad it was or did he just let you get on with it? I hope the latter!

Bad night here - up between 1.30-4. Playing. Matchsticks and caffeine required.

And as for poos? They're horrible. DH actually gagged the other day. And he wasn't even changing him!

I'm in for the matchsticks and caffiene too, and probably some cake and chocolate as well. Not as bad as you button, but DS up between 1-2 AGAIN, I don't know where he's got this idea from. I'm knackered.

That said I have to hand it to my DP who was frickin lovely this morning. He offered to get up with DS at 5 when he woke! (this is a first, without prior arrangement). I got an extra hour in bed, and not only that but when I came down DP had also cleaned the kitchen!!! Major brownie points there, I was really gobsmacked.

DS also decided that 30 mins was plenty for his first nap - I wasn't impressed as I was also trying to get some sleep! I ended up putting him in a back carry in the mei tei again and sure enough he was snoozing within 5 mins of putting in! He slept for an hour, and was in a much better mood for it! Admittedly I had to pace the living room the whole time... but can't have everything! I caught up on a movie I've been trying to watch for aaaages....

Button - glad you have a pushchair (nearly) sorted!

DH to be fair did just get on with it last night - bless him. I feel bad for leaving DS as I know he would have been very upset, but I'm going back to work in a few months. He'll have to get used to it then!

As DS was awake for an extra 2 hours last night I had hoped he would sleep for longer this morning. But no! He also only had 30 mins this morning, so has been pretty grumpy all day. Asleep again now though. I might join him.

Wondering if it's a developmental thing?? Ds up again last night, practicing waving in his cot. Dh in bad books today- kindly suggested ds should come off boob, as clearly all this wakening must be my fault somehow.. Yes I admit, I try using boob to put ds back to sleep, but I genuinely don't think it's the main reason for him wakening!
Another chat needed tonight, but dh has had grumbles like this before, sick of repeating myself!!! Thing is, he believes he is right, and I believe I am, so if we agree to disagree, then I'LL have to deal with all the nights on my own. Just dunno what else to say....

I had the same thing this morning Mampig. After another hideous night, DS woke up at 5:30. I just got so frustrated with DH because all I wanted him to do was to get up with him and give me an hour to sleep. DH was all and "you shouldn't be getting like this, we are going to have to move him out of our bed. You're obviously keeping him awake." WTF? I'm keeping him awake for my own merriment? Er, no, it's not him I'm frustrated with you big, lazy twat.

Oh Queen and Mampig, once again I am with you. Shall we start a new thread - 'the impatient DP support group'?

LO is getting soooooo much better. He really is the most beautiful thing in the world [totally biased and besotted emoticon] - will now happily go in his car seat, goes down for naps easily, can be taken anywhere in his buggy, doesn't cry in the supermarket, plays on his own, (sorry, sorry, sorry if this sounds like boasting to any of you still struggling with this - it is relief rather than pride!) BUT his night-times are still challenging. He usually feeds to sleep and then wakes at least every two hours and doesn't settle unless I feed him or let him sleep next to me. I can cope with that - I can't cope with DP's reaction to that. He seems to think this is my fault (I 'molly coddle' apparantly) and is absolutely insistent that LO will be going into his own room as soon as he is six months old (next week) I just don't see how that will help. Surely it will just mean I have to actually get up every two hours (or more) instead of just reach out?

I know it's just a difference of opinion, but it feels like a bloody ocean at the moment. I just don't see how we can compromise when we are at such opposite ends of the spectrum.

DP if you're reading (bit paranoid about that!!) - I know you are trying. I have seen how hard you've tried to be patient this week, I've really appreciated how much more time you've spent with LO, but I can't leave him to cry. I just can't.

Oh I feel so much better now I've written all that down! Thanks ladies.

Wish me luck ladies. Tonight is the first night we try to get DS to sleep in his own room in his cot rather than snuggled up next to mummy. I feel ridiculously anxious about it though - partly as I think it's going to be a rough few nights and days, but mostly as I am majorly going to miss my boy. So stupid. He's only down the hall, and I'll finally be able to snuggle DP instead! But I'm just really .

Good luck Jen Let us know how it goes. I'll be trying the same in a few weeks.

Can I also take back the bad things I said about DP? He's just bought me a glass of run me a bath & filled the bathroom with candles. Love him

Good luck Jen, hope it goes well.

And glad your DP has redeemed himself, Truth :)

Having a fed-up day today. Just fed up of nothing changing, no matter what we try. I know DS will get there when he's good and ready - I'm just getting so tired now. His sleep is even worse, if possible. He is so restless at night, he can't seem to switch his legs off, they are just constantly on the go. He's having trouble settling after night feeds as he falls asleep but jolts himself awake - normally just as DH and I have got ourselves into bed. Or he decides that actually he's not quite had enough boob and wants another go. And so it begins again. I'm actually considering switching to the bottle. Then other days I can't believe I'd ever think that. His naps are still shocking. He still hates his carseat and pram. Nothing about this is getting any easier. I feel like I'm stuck in groundhog day. Ugh. Sorry about the rant, ladies. Just feel so bloody shit.

Awww Truth that's lovely!

tickle Ranting is what we're here for (I'm going to have mine in a moment!) so no need to apologise! I think we all know exactly what you mean, and how disheartening it is. I wish I had some wiser words for you, but I certainly have plenty of sympathy and cake.

So.... well, what a horrible night! DS is going to be grumpy as hell today, not to mention me and DP as not a lot of sleep was had. I initally got him down ok at 7, but he woke again 30 mins later and just would not go back down. I could get him to sleep in the rocking chair, but no matter how long I waited, what I tried he would not go back down in the cot - he'd just instantly wake about a centimetre from the mattress. I tried for a couple of hours, then DP had a go... and managed it first time!!! However he only stayed asleep for 20 mins. This went on and on and on... eventually DS fed at 11.30 ish, but again...no dice on going in the cot. He fed again at 1.30 but this time I decided to try putting him on his side... and after a couple of aborted tries, amazingly he didn't flip out! And then he slept for 2 hours! Progress!! But then on the next awakening he decided to be wide awake for DP for 45 mins which didn't go down well with DP, who isn't really used to being awake at that time and so was a bit of a narky zombie. I ended up feeding again, and after some more faffing and failed attempts managed to get him to sleep again at 4.30 until 5.30 when it was up for the day.

So... although it was truly horrible, (I actually felt like I must be torturing the poor boy - every time he fell asleep I'd bloody wake him up again by trying to put him down!), we did learn a few things. First - definitely side sleeping. Second, he feeds more frequently towards the end of the night, so I'm thinking perhaps DP should do all the wakings after the initial going down until around 11 or so, and perhaps even after the next feed, and I'll do the rest of the early hours. I guess we'll see what happens tonight. I can barely believe we made it through the night. It was awful.

Hope you all had better nights!

Oh Jen, I'm sorry about your night. I so know what you mean about feeling like torturing your baby :( DS has preferred his side for a week or so now, discovered by accident... But last night no position would do. Back, side, front (he got himself Into this position while cosleeping, worried the hell out of me, but he slept a tiny bit better, but then woke and panicked as he's not rolling yet and can't move himself off his front).

At least, as you say, you learned some from last night, but what a way to learn. Hope today isn't too bleh for you all. Here, share my cake :)

You've probably tried this, but sometimes we can get DS into his cot after falling asleep by holding him against our chests, and then, leaning into the cot, holding him close, gently lowering him a little, stopping, then lowering a bit more, stopping, and so on, until his feet touch, and then stopping, and then lowering him in totally

It totally kills my back, hovering over the mattress with a nearly 20lber, but sometimes it gets him in his cot without waking up (although we do try to get him in awake...)

Oh, so sorry you had such rubbish nights ladies. Mine seem to be getting marginally better (maybe three or four feeds? To be honest, it's all a bit of a blur!) but are certainly not sorted.

You've probably tried this already, but have you got a taggy blanket? DS likes to sleep with the fleecey side next to his head (I think it feels a bit like being curled up next to mum) and when he wakes up in the night he kind of fondles the tags until he falls back to sleep (or realises he's hungry and cries!) Sometimes I can literally just give it back to him and it's enough to put him back to sleep.

Hello to everyone. My little Lady bug has to get some kind ofi care in 6 weeks. She is currently 6 weeks. Do any of you have any feedback on a in house nanny or daycare. Add how in the heck do I get my dd hooked to a bottle before this transition occurs. Any advice?

TICKLE- I completely understand how you feel about getting back to work. There are times I just sit and cry and wonder how the heck is my DS going to make that transition and how am I going to? Then there is those times when I think man to get back into me time will feel great.

Once again, this thread has articulated what I'm feeling. I've just booked DS into nursery ready for going back to work in about six weeks. I can't bear it! I've no idea how I'm going to get him to take a bottle & no idea how I'm going to cope. DS is older than your DD though so I'm hoping he'll be weaned by then & I can send jellies, yogurts etc to stop him dehydrating. Have you tried DD with a bottle? How was it?

I have after spending a small fortune on different bottles and such. DD finally latched on but won't continue to feed. She just screams and then my husband will calm her and try it again and so on. I leaving the area and go take a much needed shower (not wanting to come out from it and find myself going through through the whole pep talk you can do this). After several attempts we wait a little bit tonsure we rant rewarding her for screaming to be bf. then she doesn't of course want to release from the boob.

Last night I took her to meet Great GMA&P. What was I thinking. She screamed the whole way in the car seat and while the others held her and then after a short visit refused to sleep or latch on. It was a aweful night. Won't do that again for a while. I feel like if I could put DH, DD and I in a cocoon until DD has her wings I would feel so much better.

Makenzie - 6 weeks is prime growth spurt time, so she will be wanting to cluster feed. It is probably best to just go with the flow - in a couple of weeks it will get much better. Evenings just settle on the sofa with snacks and DVDs etc and just feed, feed, feed.
Don't worry about rewarding crying - she's too little to pick up bad habits - she just wants to be held, and to cluster feed. :)

Thank you so much Lil.W.L. Is there other growth spurt times where I'll find the same?

erm... well here we had 9 weeks, 13 weeks, 24 weeks, but I've heard that normally after the 6 week spurt it is around 3 months, 6 months, 9 months.... :)