High-Need Baby Support Thread II

[tickleme63]

Hey ladies, here's a shiny new thread for us to discuss, query, whinge about and rejoice our high-need bubs!

Pretty bad night last night, bleeding exhausted. Can see why so many of you co-sleep. We haven't gone down that route, but it's never looked so attractive...

Gawd, grizzly DS. Poor tooths. Hope you have had a decent night!

ladies, sorry your nights/mornings sucked. Crappy one here too. For some reason DS has decided that he is not going to settle in his cot after night feeds and has joined us the last 2 nights just so we don't have to keep getting out of bed every few minutes after he 'settles' and then 'unsettles' himself after every night feed (of which there are lots) I don't know why it's happening but it's getting very irritating.

I'm starting to worry that we have a problem with his feeding behaviour in the night. I've been hoping and hoping that it is something he will grow out of when he's ready, but DH says if anything is going to change it has to come from us. Ugh.

Gah, grizzly boy, back later.

I love how DHs say these things. My DH comes out with corkers like that too. What are they basing then on? Their extensive childcare experience perhaps? Or what their mums say? I have a bookshelf full of baby books - ranging from AP books to GF. As far as I know, DH hasn't picked one up ever so it's not anything he has gleaned from researched literature. I don't know what makes him such an authority.

Tickleme, he will grow out of it in his own time, of course he will. He won't be 18 and still in bed with you feeding. But at the moment he needs you. Someone on here once wrote "nightime parenting is just as important as daytime parenting" and it has really stuck with me. We are responding to their needs whenever they need us. So tell DH to wind his neck in.

Are you actually me Queen? From the shelves full of books that DP doesn't read to the disturbed bath last night, it all sounds familiar. I keep wanting to scream "just because your sister did it doesn't mean we have to" Argh.

I feel like a right cow moaning about him as he's such a nice bloke really, but parenthood / sleep deprivation has not bought out his best side an he seems to blame me for all of DS's perceived 'faults'

Tickle, DS is back in our bed too. This is another bone of contention with DP, but we all sleep soooooo much better when he's there and I'm sure, like Queen says, he'll go back to his own cot at done point.

You know how every new person you meet says 'how old?' then 'how does he sleep?' when you meet them? That normally does my head in, but recently a lovely lady in the newsagent came round the counter to see DS, cooed at how beautiful he is then gave me a hug (really! I was a little scared!) and said 'they all sleep through one day'. I've decided she is very lovely & very wise & I hold on to that as my mantra. They all sleep through one day, they all sleep through one day...

I've also been reading 'What Mothers Do' which has made me feel so much more confident with all my decisions (Queen, was it you on that other thread who bought it too? What do you think?)

Ahhh, yes, yes, I know this one. One of the things I hate is when DP says he'll get up with DS the next morning, but when DS wakes (at 5ish) DP just messes around in bed with him until I'm suitably wide awake and may as well have got up anyway

I am lucky in that my DP generally doesn't seem to air any strong opinions that are different to mine when it comes to DS. I think we're largely in agreement or he's too scared to say anything on most things, amazingly. Or at the very least he tries not to upset me by saying! He knows I'm quite sensitive to it, his parents have been pretty awful for sticking their opinions in about how we (or rather how they think I) are bringing up DS and he's seen how it pissed me off upset me.

We had a reasonable night last night, just the usual 3-4 times up, but pretty sound sleep in between, and all on the mattress instead of ending up on me, which is really nice. I'm feeling a lot better too, thank goodness.

As long as DS is over this cold by friday we're going to attempt putting him in his own cot/room over the weekend. I'm scared!! DP is willing to help me, as I think it'll be pretty tough, but one thing I'm not sure about is how to 'divvy' it up as when DS wakes it's hard to know without trying whether he needs a feed or not. I suppose if DP did the first 'shift' after putting him down, i.e. perhaps 7-11 or something, when he shouldn't really need a feed, then I do the rest... don't the best deal for me but perhaps the only way? Any thoughts?

When we tried putting DS in his own room we planned that if he woke up less than three hours after his last feed then DP would try to settle him but if it was longer than three hours then I'd go & feed him. It didnt work, but i think just because we were too tired to see it through. We'll be trying again in a few weeks

Ah yes, that would make sense Truth! Although I wonder whether it might be down to 2 hours for us, as he does seem to feed that frequently at times, especially after about 2am. Then again maybe he's only doing that for comfort rather than hunger. So hard to know! But it's definitely a sensible starting point - thank you!!

Glad you're feeling better Jen :)

That's what we did Truth - and so far, he's going for 3-4hrs between feeds. I tend to take him into the spare room and cosleep from about 5am so I get a good sleep then otherwise I'm too knackered to function.

DP is really helpful and always wants to try to settle him in the night (which I think is just an excuse for a cuddle ) but he's the worlds grumpiest man when he's tired so I try and do most of it because at least I can catch up during the day.

I'm gradually getting DS used to back carries in our new wrap sling, which is great for getting housework/cooking done! He's been a lot less grumpy since his first tooth cut through, and he's started eating more as well. He's even happy sitting and playing by himself for 10 minutes at a time now instead of wanting me there all the time. I've started knitting a scarf during my "free time"

How do you find getting your DS into a back carry Spanner? I've been too scared to try it so far!

Haha decided to bite the bullet and try a back carry - DS currently snoozing on my back while I potter round!!

Yay :) I don't think I'm brave enough to do it with DS in the mei tai yet, not on my own at least! Will have to get DH's help to get him on I think!

I sit him on my hip and then bend over while spinning him round onto my back. I tried the "superman toss" but almost dropped DS

I did the same as you spanner. Getting him off was a bit hairy tho, I ended up just kinda lying back on the bed and untying!
It's way easier to do stuff around the house with him on my back, I'll definitely be doing that again! Outside though I'll probably stick to the front for now, partly cos it's easier with a coat I think - I wear him underneath my coat which keeps us both warmer!

Oh, I agree. It's not a high needs baby I have a problem with but high needs dh!

I'm still no further along with my buggy quest - I am watching about 30 on ebay

I'm also trying to organise a ruby wedding party for my in laws for 40 family members for March. I'm going for the easy option of a buffet in a hotel somewhere. The thought of organising caterers or even worse, doing it myself is not appealing! Funny though, there would have been a time when I wouldn't have batted an eyelid...

Hello all. Feeling a little weird...
Ds had marathon sleep last night- from 8-5!!!! Now that really is wonderful... However, I'm off work this week so he has anytime boob access so he's not needing as much at night. Felt weird at 4- woke up in a panic to check he was ok, then felt sad that he didn't need me as much anymore!!! Was nearly in tears except I didn't want to waken dh. Is that just sad or what- now in daylight I know that it's cos I'm off work this week, but will it feel like that when he really is sleeping all night??? I so was not expecting this

And how am I ever gonna stop bf if I had such a wobble at the thought of him sleeping thru??? Nuts, I know

No - it's just everything all at once. I promise that when he does sleep through it will feel fine. Don't forget your hormones are still everywhere! Mine are and I keep telling myself that's ok - ds is only 6m old. I totally wasn;t expecting my hormones to be all weird as I'm ff!

On better news.... I know what I want! I finally bit the bullet this morning and took babybutton to Mothercare for a try out of various buggies. I discounted immediately the Cameleon (and therefore Gecko), the Babystyle Oyster, the Silver Cross tank (ds burst into tears on being but into it!) and the Quinny Buzz. All had seats where he had less than 3-4" headspace for growing room. The P&T vibe had loads of space but doesn't do rearward facing so the assistant pulled down the Bugaboo Bee. I scoffed as he fitted in beautifully but the seat would only fit him for another 6 or so months when she smiled and pulled a little lever whereby the whole seat back and bottom extended by loads! Magic! We wooshed around the shop and even on the corduroy paving outside which was ace and babybutton was loving it! He was sitting with his legs splayed out over the sides - we is classy! I'm so chuffed to find something I want. Now I just need to sell another dc to afford it . I've checked on ebay and there are a few available but I need to make sure it's a newer model so it has the extendable seat.

So I'm a happy bunny. Also, after a slightly odd evening where ds was up between 9 and 11.30 he then slept til just gone 5 so he was in my good books this morning.

Also, I've found somewhere to hold the in laws' party in March.

My cup doth overflow...

Definitely not nuts Mampig, I reckon I'm going to feel just the same way! I'm really very safe at the prospect of putting DS in his own room and cot, it makes me well up when I think about it, but I do think it is time to try. As for giving up bfing, I can't even imagine doing that yet, I think for all the massive commitment it's been, I will be truly gutted when it's time to stop. You're definitely not nuts, just a loving mummy :-)

*Safe = sad. Stupid phone.

And nice work button, productive day!!

Thanks Jen- even your post made me well up.

Button- go girl! There's no thing quite like knowing what you want, and making sure u get it! How much is one of those?? Just curious, as I'm on my last baby, so won't be investing in any more buggys I have about 6 at the minute! would really need to be selling some, but each has it's own purpose!

They're £480 new (ouch) so I'm really trying to weigh up whether it's worth going for new and getting the 2 year warranty (non transferrable) or getting off ebay but paying probably half that with no warranty. And now some of the others over on the pushchairs topic are putting me off. Boo.

So I don't know whether to do it or not

Wow- expensive even at half price! Why don't you look for it on amazon and read those reviews too- I've always found them useful

I would go for a new one with the warranty Button - I had one and had loads of problems with it, I ended up getting a load of parts sent over from Amsterdam! I got rid of it in the end but I do still miss it, how sad is that. DS hated it and screamed all the time he was in it, like he does with any pushchair. Oh well, I'm developing a sling obsession now!

We were up loads last night as DS has a cold and can't breathe through his nose. I was almost at the point of trying to suck the snot out with a straw to try and help him(and snot is the only bodily substance that I can't handle - must be love eh?)

I cried for the first few nights DS was in his own room JeewhizzJen, and I still really miss being able to listen to him breathing and watch him sleep :(

Button - I hope your quest for a new pram is going well.

We had a mixed night last night. I got him to go down on his own again. Less patting and singing this time too, but he cried lots each time he woke and was hard to settle. Think he has a cold coming and it could always be teeth I suppose ( still no sign of the first one!)

I have some exciting news though. This evening I am leaving the house! Spurred on by the fact that DS now seems to sleep until 11 before the first waking I am going out for a (low fat of course) curry with friends. It's only round the corner so can dash back if needed. However I am very very excited about this! (I know it's not normal to get this excited about a curry, but hey!) So let's hope DS stays asleep!
In other exciting news I lost another 3.5 pounds this week. 13 in four weeks. Whoop!

Wahey! That's great news Titania! Have a great fat low fat time . I love curry - it's my favourite meal ever so I get ridiculously excited whenever we have one, whether takeaway or out

Pram search going badly. Every time I think I've settled on something someone comes along and says 'oh you don't want one of those because blah blah...' and I get all confused again! Must admit I'm moving towards the P&T now - the seats are so much taller than anything else. I know he won't be facing me but I can't see what other pram will do it. Everything which has a reversible seat seems to be much smaller. So I've been following them on ebay and they're not cheap there but I can get the new Explorer with a raincover (normally extra) for £375 at Oxford Pram Centre.

There are just too many choices!