High-Need Baby Support Thread II

[tickleme63]

Hey ladies, here's a shiny new thread for us to discuss, query, whinge about and rejoice our high-need bubs!

Pretty bad night last night, bleeding exhausted. Can see why so many of you co-sleep. We haven't gone down that route, but it's never looked so attractive...

Gawd, grizzly DS. Poor tooths. Hope you have had a decent night!

DP and I have competitive tiredness here too :( we're both making an effort to make sure that we help and support each other though, which means him doing the bedtime feed 3 x week so I can have some time to myself, and I try to keep the house presentable because it stresses him out when I'm messy. We have an early night so we can spend an hour chatting and cuddling with no TV/internet distraction which is nice.

DS slept really well again last night - 1 waking for 2 nights running! He's really grumpy today though, he;s either coming down with something or it's his other top tooth. The other top tooth is rubbing against my nipple when he feeds which is agony - I'm really dreading feeding at the moment. Hopefully they'll lose the razor sharp edge soon.

Gutted. DS has failed the milk challenge so it looks like he's allergic after all. He managed the rub but began to react after 5ml. We suggested it might be because he was so hot but by 10ml he was def reacting so we abandoned it. Pissed off in the extreme. Thought we were free and clear.

Oh Button :(

Oh Button Sorry to hear that :(

Oh bless him :( poor boy! What happens next then?

oh Babybutton ! That's pants, Button, hope you're not gutted. Were they able to say what he was reactng to eg cmp?

And poor wee sick babies too - get better soon, babies button and truth.

tickle - ouch. I get blocked ducts now and again, worst just b4 xmas, it made me feel wretched and weepy even tho twasn't mastitis. The kellymom website has good advice for clearing them, tho I found massage in the shower, warm flannel and just feeding ds clear them in the end. Sympathies and

DS was absolutely grand on the way to DH's friends on Sunday, slept the whole way there. He made us look like whingy liars too - smiling little charmer, none of the screamimg they had heard so much about. Journey home not so good - bloody M4 added another hour to trip - but he still was an awful lot better than he usually is in the car. Feeling more hopeful about trip to NI in a couple of weeks!

on the minus side, he's been reverse cycling since sunday. Yuck, =
zombie Tulip. And I've picked up a dicky tum = my face if I eat anything heavier than toast. And DS is a clingy wee grumpybum today, which is doing my head in.

whinge over!

Tickle - I found that constantly changing position helped until DS's teeth lost their razor-sharpness. That meant nowhere got repeatedly chaffed. I even fed him lying down but upside down iyswim (his feet up by my head) which helped. HTH.

So it appears we are up for the day! Just had row with dh, as he's giving off about our sleepless baby (again). Wants to let him cio. Problem is that we have done this before - years ago when I was stupid enough to think it was the right thing to do. So now dh wonders what is so 'special' about ds that I won't allow it. I've tried to explain my reasons but falling on deaf ears. When we did it with dc1, I was younger, immature and quite frankly had pnd, so was more vulnerable to HV advice to do it. Of course it hasn't harmed him (so far) but I still feel guilty about it. What else can I say to dh, as a reason not to do it??

I know we are (some of us) in similar positions with dps, but I don't know where to go from here. Currently ds is sat beside me on sofa, in great form, playing away while I let dh sleep in bed, but I'm also working today, and can't go on like this. Rant over!

Ta for the advice ladies. Think it's on the wane now, thankfully. Still tender as hell but better.

Tulip Glad your car trip was better than expected! But sorry you're feeling poorly - get better soon.

I have a different problem re DH. He never, ever complains of tiredness. Even when I know he is shattered. He helps so much around the house and with DS. So I feel like a right moany old cah when I sigh about tiredness! We do have the over-sensitive bickering thing going on though, horrible isn't it :(

Mampig Sorry you are having a poo start to the day :( Sending hugs to you and to all others in need of them this morning.

Thanks tickle- giving myself a good kick up the arse!!. Hope everyone ok today!

Button, about the milk- where do u go from here??

Sorry Mampig I don't have any solutions, but I do empathise. The best thing that's worked for me recently is 'but WHY do you want him to cry? Why do you think it's the best thing?' and then a long discussion about what our real objectives were. "leave him to cry" just pisses me off. As does "this can't go on" This week I have forced DP to think about why.

We ended up writing down what was really important to our family (weaning, taking water from a bottle/cup, only waking once at night) and why (so its not a huge massive shock when I go back to work) and then discussing it from there. We still disagree, but we have slightly better way of discussing it!

Mampig you have my sympathies.... no solutions though sorry :(

ah caffeine and hugs to everyone. Mampig so sorry - it really is soo hard with dps. sorry i have no solution either - maybe if you can find a good article that explains some other solutions and why they are better it might help? for me i have to send my dh links on facebook to get my point across when we disagree on something and he has to hear it from someone else and then once he has time to process it, then agrees.
bad night here too - up every 2 hours, me and baby down with cold, ended up at chemist this morning and miserable - jammy day now. good excuse just to cuddle baby all day and forget much else (like all the 6 birthdays, mothers day etc etc etc that are all coming up this month and completely overwhelming me...)

jammy i mean pyjamis....brain not really functioning very well...baby einstein is helping though!

I came on this morning to respond and the stupid arse that is mumsnet ate my post .

I don't really know where we go from here. We didn't see the consultant yesterday, only the food challenge team so I don't know what she's going to say or when we're going to see her.

I'm really sulking about it though. DH can't see why - wants to know why I can't be positive right now, but he doesn't understand that I just need a little sulk. I was so shocked. From what the consultant said she was expecting him to apss with flying colours so when he didn't it was a real shock. Normally I never expect the best but I think I allowed myself to get hopeful and it's come back to bite me.

We still proceed with the apple challenge on the 28th and then pear in April but I'd really started to hope that he might be ok with ordinary formula. I'd even gone to Tesco to price up and see which one I'd put him back on to . Idiot.

What worries me most is if the skin test was wrong about milk, what else is it wrong about? The apple and pear we'll be doing under controlled circs but what about all the other stuff? Having receded nicely, I'm stressing about anaphylaxis all over again and started carrying piriton everywhere again.

So yes, DH I'm in a bloody bad mood and shall stay that way for a couple of days, if that's ok with you and if it's not, then tough cos I'm going to anyway.

Arse.

Shall we ditch all the men and move in together in a big high needs commune?

It was DH's bday yesterday but DS has been poorly for days now (high temp, sore throat etc) so not sleeping well at all. My mum and dad came up and could tell we were all exhausted and on a knife's edge, so left early. Then this morning, my mum started having words with me about 'spoiling DS'. FFS, he is ill. I feel like running away with him and hiding from everyone.

Commune sounds good!

Sorry your DS is poorly QueenKong - hope he gets better soon. Anyone who expects a poorly baby to be anything other than clingy is an arse TBH....

About the sleep thing though - DD still wakes hourly or 2 hourly throughout the night, and won't let me go downstairs of an evening. DP copes by being in the spare room but we never spend time together now, except when he "catches" me in a doorway to give me a hug - which I hate! If I'm going somewhere it's because I'm doing something so fucking well let me get on with it! Grrrr

So on the No Sleep Cry Solution - Pantley pull off, inching her away, waiting to see if she was really awake all made things worse, so we've been concentrating on naps instead.
She normally has 2 x 30min naps, but by feeding her back to sleep when she stirs we've managed to make her have at least one 1hour nap per day.

It's made her sleep less at night, with the same number of awakenings...

It's been 5 days of this - not going to sleep until 8pm ish, waking up at 6am, instead of being 7pm to 7am with awakenings.... do I continue?

I concentrated on getting DS to have 2 good naps a day and it took about 6 weeks for him to sleep better at night (apart from when he's ill/teething) but for the last month he's been waking 1-3 times instead of 6-7. I'm sure it's just coincidence, I'm sure babies just do everything when they're ready, including sleep better. I was convinced that DS slept better on the days when I took him for a long walk, then one night (after a 2.5 mile walk) he was awake every hour overnight!

I don't blame you for feeling nervous button - when are you due to see the consultant again?

I don't know. We have to wait for a letter - again. He's still really rough with his bad chest - wheezing all the time and coughing. He's sick after every meal, solids and milk as he can't clear the gunk off his chest. Put your gp hat on and tell me if I should take him back or not yet? He's had 2 full days of amoxycillin now.

On the upside - I've been deleted! For the first time ever I've had a post deleted!

Yeah I think 6 weeks is too long for it to be cause and effect really... How old was your DS when he started sleeping better?

Queen Hope your little one feels better soon. You cannot spoil a baby, especially a poorly one. You know this, and your mum should keep her nose out. If you wanted her opinion, I'm sure you would ask her for it.

I despair sometimes about how society treats babies or feels babies should be treated. It expects so much from tiny little beings that have been in this huge world of ours a matter of months. Like anything they do for comfort (feeding, needing rocking, holding, etc) is bad and should be discouraged. How they should only be hungry and thirsty according to a timetable and god forbid they get a little thirsty or peckish outside of those times. And don't get me started on crying it out. Jesus Christ. Makes me so bloody cross.

Loving the idea of a commune. I'm in. I won't ever tell any of you that 'something has to change'. I won't question your parenting choices. I make damn good carrot cake. Do I get a place?

You're in Truthy . DHs/DPs can have weekly visiting rights but any references to "mollycoddling", "letting them cry" or "but I go to work everyday" and they're out.

LWL - your post about hugging in doorways made me laugh. DH does this all the time and it grates my carrot too. Especially if we were rowing 30 seconds earlier. I don't want a hug or kiss, I want some bloody empathy!

Button I would take him back, sounds like he might need an inhaler or some steroids to help clear his chest :( what did you have deleted?

LWL he's 8 months (no idea how many weeks) and his sleep got better in the last 2 weeks. He is eating more solids too, and goes from 7-2 without a feed most nights now.

Commune sounds good, particularly with ATruth's carrot cake! I can make good chocolate brownies and cook a mean roast dinner

Queen your poor DS. I know when I'm feeling under the weather, all I want is for my mum to look after me!

Ok, so i can do chocolate brownies? And red onion and goats' cheese tart. Can I come too?