High-Need Baby Support Thread II

[tickleme63]

Hey ladies, here's a shiny new thread for us to discuss, query, whinge about and rejoice our high-need bubs!

Pretty bad night last night, bleeding exhausted. Can see why so many of you co-sleep. We haven't gone down that route, but it's never looked so attractive...

Gawd, grizzly DS. Poor tooths. Hope you have had a decent night!

I think anyone who hasn't had a HN baby would think we were mad! I just had to turn down an invite to a weekend away because I can't leave DS. I think my (childless) friend was "wtf, he is 9mo". I am too tired to even bother trying to explain it!

my DS has stayed at my mums twice but the last time was really stressful as he wouldn't take a bottle initially and went for 7hrs before having any milk, while I stressed about having to leave my friends party and drive over there to feed him!

Apart from that, my one evening off I spent at the family planning clinic having my implant put in When I go back to work in 3 weeks DP is going to look after him for a morning which will be the longest he's ever looked after him by himself.

I always miss him terribly and I never sleep well when he's away. I don't sleep brilliantly when he's in his cot, I just want to go and stroke his hair and sniff him

It's a HN baby thing again isn't it?

Maybe we should add it to thr checklist at the top of the thread - Are you unable to leave your baby for more than an hour, despite their age?

And in my case - Are you unable to leave the baby once they are in bed at night?

QK & LWL prior to dc4 I'd have thought you were totally nuts! The other three would go anywhere with anyone and sleep (well) anywhere. So I would have totally thought you were pandering to your baby. Fast forward to dc4 however... He will happily stay with dh for a short while (and my one evening out solo was to take dd2 to the OOH dr . He will be held (briefly) by most people but is always looking fir me or his sisters. He has stayed twice with my mum for the evening (but here at home) and she said all was well. The one and only time he was looked after by someone else he shouted for 2.5 hrs before falling aasleep exhausted. He is 8m in 4 days. So no. You're neither nuts nor mad. Just the tired exhausted frustrated oh yes, that's it, proud pasrents of a HN baby!

DS got a rotten cold. Cue rubbish sleep. All the dribbling has irritated his eczema and left him with a raw patch on his chin which he will not leave alone.

Pasrents? Huh? Obv meant parents!

so tired... baby cried and fed and fed and cried tl around 1 last night before sleeping in her moses basket - which is too small for her. we have tried her in the cot multiple times. and i said to keep her in beside me and amid the screams and cries was told it was too dangerous. i tried to explain why its not, just to be yelled at and told to shut up. so none of us getting much sleep these nights with her waking a lot to feed... i wouldn't sleep anyway with her in the bed. so tired...life is feed sleep eat at the minute...

Oh Jan that sounds awful. If it's any consolation I didn't think I'd sleep with DS in with me and was worried about the dangers but he's been in bed with me every night since he was born. These days he starts in his cot, but ends up in bed with me. He's very nearly 9mo. If you do it safely (can't link as on phone but google UNICEF and co-sleeping) it's perfectly safe. In fact some say safer and that it's normal for a baby to sleep with it's mother.

How old is your LO?

Hope you get some sleep soon. Can you nap when your LO does today? Could you also explain to your OH how him shouting at you isn't helpful? Sleep deprivation is a form of torture and I'd be wiling to bet that everyone on this thread has said something to their OH when tired that they shouldn't have (I snapped at mine at 2 this morning). However I've learnt that unless I clear the air I dwell on it which doesn't help anyone. Hope you have a better day today.

Another bad night here too. I'm at the point where I also feel like crying- why won't he just sleep?! What have I done wrong this time?? Button, same as you with dc4, but doesn't help much... He was up on and off last night for hours- tried him in with us, and in his cot and he just cried for hours. He's not sick or anything, and I just don't get this! He's also getting more and more attached to me, and won't stay with dh if I'm anywhere close by. It's wearing me out! I feel like just letting him CIO, but can't- couldn't bear it, and I know it's not really the answer, but I too am soo of these babies who are sleeping 7-7. Ugh, just ugh. NCSS has it's good points, but I feel like one step forward and two back atm.

thanks titania i will send him the link and see if that helps - i didn't want to co sleep but its got to desperation measures now and dh isn't the one that isbarely functioning with no sleep. he gets a full nights sleep every night in a separate room. when he is slightly tired, he cracks up (take yesterday morning, he cracked up cos i gave him the baby at (9AM!!) after minding her all week day and night without a break - he then apologised later as says he can't think straight when he's 'tired'!
right now, the baby is sleeping because she is extra tired due to last nights events. i can never sleep in anyway - my question is, am i doing the right thing by letting HER sleep in? or should i keep getthing her up at the 'right' time in order that she will be more likely to go down at the right time tonite? must say i want a bit of peace this morning before she gets up...
mampig i am so so sorry you are going through this. it is so hard! i spent most of yesterday in tears because i was just soo tired - today is slightly better - you never know when you might get a wee bit of a kip and feel a bit better which will make all the difference. my baby has been going all week with 2 hour feeds and not sleeping right etc and i just broke down yesterday - big hugs to you. we will get through this somehow! maybe some cuddles in bed with just the babies in the nappies will help just make us feel better in it all..

Thanks Jan. Get thru today and see how things go-

I would just let your dd sleep! They are so changeable that a strictish routine isn't worth the hassle imo!! Get some rest yourself too (wish I could but if I'm not at work, I'm home with ds and toddler, so no hope as they sleep different times).
Anyway, I'm off to try and put ds to sleep, and grab a coffee, while I decide what housework needs done... And so it goes on...
Really appreciate the lovely supportive words

Titania- thinking of u too- and everyone else in our boat- let's just hope we all don't sink

Hrmph, feeling your pain ladies. I informed DH this morning that I am never having another baby. It's just too hard. DS wanted to be on my boob all bloody night. It is worse than having a new born. I'm looking back at the 2 hourly wakings with fondness - at least then we both slept in between wakings. I feel like I am constantly awake while he suckles, I think he's probably asleep doing it but wakes up and kicks off as soon as I remove my boob.

Jan - DH and I both said we'd never co-sleep but I wouldn't have survived without doing so. DS just refuses to sleep anywhere else. Cuddle him up to you and get some sleep - your OH won't know if he's in another room, will he?

QK - we've decided to only have one. I know many will disagree with that decision but its the right one for us. I also had really bad SPD (started at 18 wks) when I was pg and just couldn't cope with SPD and a toddler!

What I really want to know is who's stolen my rod? You know to one I was making for my back in feeding to sleep. I loved that rod and want it back. Feeding is sooo much easier than rocking to sleep which is DS's preferred method of dozing off at night these days, but it seems he has to have a good wail in my arms first before falling asleep. Argh. He will still feed to sleep for his naps though luckily.

He's still out of sorts, not sure if its still the teeth or something else? I have a couple of questions. Trying to get teething gel into DSs mouth is practically impossible - he clams it shut. Any suggestions?

Also he keeps rolling over in his cot and banging his head on the sides. This wakes him up unsurprisingly. I am considering bumpers but thought they weren't safe. Maybe he's just not used to sleeping in a cot! I'm probably asking the wrong set of people questions about cots though aren't I?

lol u guys make me lol (sorry) but its cos we r totally on the same page. i got a text from my friend today whose baby is a month younger than mine, whose been on solids 3 times a day before mine, and in her cot a month before mine all settled beautifully. i had told her last week i was transferring her to the cot. she sent me this text - 'so she all settled in her cot then?' i haven't even replied yet! makes me feel a bad mum..

hope your ok Mampig, thinking of you... dd woke up as i was typing :) hope you got your housework done. dd was quite settled this morning - its the late afternoons and evenings that are so hard at the minute.

Queen i have a tip for you which i read, tried and it worked for me to stop the lengthly sleepy suckles on the breast - when you think your baby has finished and is just sleep comfort sucking, remove your breast and immediately gently press your finger under his chin for a few moments (keeping his mouth closed). this has worked a charm for me try it!

Titania i keep saying im only having one as well. i don't actually think i could cope with another. im sorry your ds is out of sorts - i can't get teething gel into dds mouth either so i started using the powders, and when she closes her mouth i put it on my finger and for some reason if i hold it to her mouth she licks it and then i can get my finger in.

good luck everyone.

Gals, totally understandable and it's you and your DH's decision and no one else's.

I do plan to have another one. Not for a few years (so we can actually get a bit of sleep between bubs) but can't imagine not having another. Never ever thought I'd say that - I was adamant for months that I wouldn't ever do it again. I had a wonderful pregnancy though, was very lucky, and couldn't imagine not feeling that way again. And I like to think that I'm owed an easy baby next time - I've paid my dues with DS dammit!

DS has his fourth tooth on its way. Little guy's got a lot going on, bless him.

I'm desperate for another baby - despite having never been broody edited DS and he still doesn't sleep brilliantly and has to be constantly carried/played with! It's funny, I'd do it all again in a heartbeat. That's why I had the implant put in - we can't afford another for at least 2 years and I wouldn't trust myself with the pill/condoms.

I'm coping a lot better since I lowered my expectations. If we have a bad day, I try to reassure myself that tomorrow will be better. When it isn't, I phone my mum it helps that DS is so lovely at the moment and for the first time in his life prefers me to DP so I get all the big smiles and giggles!

Oh my god! DS is feeding like a newborn today. Pretty much hourly and has napped on my lap on and off for most of the day, I gave him some breakfast and lunch but he's hardly eaten a thing. I'm not sure if I can be bothered to give him dinner only for him to throw it on the floor!

I could be in for a fun night!

He has a bit of a temp. That'll explain it then.

Aww bless him, feel better soon BabyTitania

I've had to crack open the Lansinoh for the first time in months :( It's either teeth chaffage, or where I've started expressing a couple of times a day to start a freezer supply. Better late than never I suppose, expressing is such a faff though.

I hated expressing so am v.impressed with your dedication tickle. He's asleep on me again. Bed time has been abandoned!

Aww poor sweet boy. Hope he gives you an okay night lady.

I hate expressing, but I started doing it once during his morning nap to give to him in a bottle at the next feed to keep him in the habit of taking it. Second session is a bit hit or miss, depends on his later naps, so am off to a slow start. But I feel like its maybe something I can do for him if I can't be with him during the day while at work - at least he can have my milk.

Urgh. Stinking rotten cold - poor boy is wheezing away like a 40 a day smoker. Hope everyone gets some sleep...

Hey ladies, how is everyone? Sorry I've not been around. I've been feeling really blueergh so not on MN very much (except for the live POAS thread that QK caught me on!) So funny you're all talking about whether you can face having another one or not. I was feeling so sick last week that I peed on lots of sticks as it felt exactly like morning sickness. DP, as you can imagine, was pale at the thought of another, while I was repeatedly gutted when the line kept failing to appear It's been bloody hard work, but I'd do it again tomorrow. The baby giggles make it all worthwhile I'm keeping a close eye on DP though. He keeps threatening to sneak off and get his tubes tied.

It's been a mixed bag here. DS has been on antibiotics for a chest infection and I've been really sick so it's felt harder than ever. He's back to waking every 90 mins or so, so DP has turned the 'we need to do something' record back on. Argh. DS has however, finally started responding to weaning so I'm relaxing a teeeeny bit about going back to work (5 weeks )

Ooh, Tickle - just saw about the expressing. How did you get DS to take a bottle? I'm planning to express when I go back to work (that was an embarrassing conversation with my super conservative head of department) but not sure if there's much point as DS has always point blank refused a bottle.

I'm wondering if ds has the same Truth. He's taking a couple of spoonfuls of solids but is quite off his milk despite the fact he's obviously really thirsty. We had a dreadful night - up every 30-90 mins when I finally gave up at 5 only for him to puke the bit of milk he had taken all over me. Urgh. I'm thinking I might take him to the gp today but dh says I'm overreacting!