High-Need Baby Support Thread II

[tickleme63]

Hey ladies, here's a shiny new thread for us to discuss, query, whinge about and rejoice our high-need bubs!

Pretty bad night last night, bleeding exhausted. Can see why so many of you co-sleep. We haven't gone down that route, but it's never looked so attractive...

Gawd, grizzly DS. Poor tooths. Hope you have had a decent night!

Glad she's sleeping ok. Hope your night is ok.

Hope your night is uneventful LWL.

Am having a small meltdown here. My clutch has gone twang - is still working but feels different. And now my washing machine is making very horrible noises and refusing to pump water out of the drum. I have emptied it manually (nice job) and retrieved a hair grip (thank you dd1) from the filter but I'm sure it can't just be that? Have put it on again as all the clothes were full of suds. I really really need it to work. I won't cope if it's out of action for even a day or two. I've spent the last two weeks catching up on washing from Christmas - seriously, if I'm behind for a day or two it really knocks my system. Not least, I need it to work as both of ds2's uniforms are in it.

It bloody pours but only when dh is away it seems

It sounds like tough days all round.
Hugs and more chocolate to those that need it.

I've lost another 2lb this week but met up with some mum friends today for wine & cake so next week might not be so good!

Hope you all get some decent sleep.

Phew. Looks like it'll live to work another day. It's still making a horrible noise but has at least emptied. So I have gratefully removed ds's uniform to dry.

Think it's getting to the end of it's like (not even that old) but at least it hasn't died today!

Am slurping wine and scoffing chocolate regardless though

end of it's life obv!

Oh God, I can't do this anymore. He's been up every hour again. He's not sick, not teething, just won't sleep. It's worse than having a newborn. To make matters worse, I've somehow hurt my shoulder and am in agony. Have no idea how I'm going to get through today when I can't lift him. I'll have to ask DH to stay home, which means he'll start up again with the unhelpful statements like "we can't go on with this" without offering any practical solutions.

It's been nearly 9 months now. I just can't ever see it getting better and I don't know what to do. There is no light at all at the end of my tunnel.

Sorry for being so down. Thanks for letting me rant.

Queen - so sorry you've had such a rubbish night. If its any consolation i've been awake for the last hour thinking exactly the same thing. Last night wasn't as bad as previous nights, but why does he need to wake at 4.40 and then not go back to sleep? Argh.

Hope your shoulder gets better soon.

Sorry to hear you're going through similar yourself Titania. It's awful, isn't it? I swear I must be a terrible mother. He obviously doesn't feel comfortable/confident enough to sleep. I can't be doing enough for him. But I just don't know what else to do.

Queen - you can't doubt yourself, you're doing a fab job. Some babies don't sleep and unfortunately we have babies who don't sleep. By responding to his needs now, you're helping him to be a happy, confident, secure little boy in the future. You have to believe that. Sleep deprivation really is awful isn't it? I only survive by going back to bed when DS has his naps - really not looking forward to going back to work.

I didn't go through the night until I was 3 apparently, and now I will fall asleep anywhere at the drop of a hat.

I was chatting to a friend a while back who I love to bits, but is quite insecure in some ways and often anxious about things.

Whilst talking about sleep (or more to the point, lack of it) she mentioned that she was left to cry as a child. I know it's anecdotal and one story doesn't prove anything but it made me realise that leaving DS to cry really isn't the way forward.

Agh, hope all those with poorly DCs are getting some respite. Crap time of year for it.

Queen, I know exactly how you feel. I look at the dark circles under DSs eyes and watch as he rubs them and yawns only 10 minutes after waking and I feel so guilty that I am seemingly unable to help him get the sleep he needs. But, despite all my.constant worries and insecurities I think I know deep down Titania is right - we're doing the very best we can, and I honestly don't believe leaving him to cry is the answer. I take a lot of convincing myself sometimes too though.

We had a weird night, after hourly wakings the previous 2. Went to bed late for him, around 8, up twice until midnight then wide awake for an hour. Then he slept right through til 5, quick feed then sound asleep until he got woken by DPs alarm at 6.10. This is unheard of!! He normally finishes the night on my chest and is up at 5! Very odd. If only he could repeat that without the hour of messing about in the middle! Strange boy.

Queen I so know what you mean. I feel at the absolute end of my tether sometimes. This too shall pass. Lots of cake and coffee my dear.

DS was up at 6am this morning, went down for a nap when he started rubbing his eyes at about 8.30am. And he's now back downstairs, and rubbing his eyes again, following his epic 30 minutes of sleep. Sigh.

I have a feeling that today is going to be one of those days...

Congrats (??) on the job PuddleJumper - I can imagine you're going into it with very mixed feelings but I hope it all works out for the best.

Queen - As everyone else has said, I'm sure you're a brilliant mum. Don't try to do anything other than look after yourself and DS today. No cleaning, no washing, order takeaway for dinner, you know the mantra... sleep if when the baby sleeps. Even if you can't sleep, just curl up next to him and relax. Hopefully, if you manage to get some rest you will start to feel better.

I am, however, going to go very slightly against the grain re the crying. As you all know, I'm very much a 'never let him cry' mum and DP has been saying for months that we should 'let him cry it out' (I think he means CC rather than CIO but doesn't know the MN lingo!) I finally agreed this week to leave it 5 minutes before going to DS when he cries overnight and, remarkably, it is working. I've been doing it for two nights and have already managed to get to 3 hourly feeds (huge progress for us!) Two out of three times that DS wakes he manages to settle himself back to sleep within 5-6 mins. I am arguing that he is 'ready' for this now but DP has his 'told you so' face on and thinks we should have been doing it for months. Of course, when it turns into full on sobbing/screaming then I am going straight to DS, but when it's that 'Hello! Mum! I'm awaaaaaake. Where are you?' shouting then I'm ignoring him (typing that makes me feel wrong, but in reality it is working) and within a few mins he's quietened down and gone back to sleep. It might, might be the 'something' that you and DH want to try. By the way, DS still greets me with his usual huge smile every morning so I don't think he's cross about it!

Huge [hugs], and to whoever needs it.

Rubbish night. Seems like there's something in the air on this thread! Still, at least the washing machine is behaving - noisy still but draining.

Off to soft play now where ds will probably sleep through all of it in his buggy like last time but \t least I get to chat to some friends!

Queen - hope you get a rest today, sometimes when ds has reduced me to feeling that way, he turns around and is an angel all day. Hope babykong does likewise! Oh and volterol gel might help your shoulder, I slap it on liberally on sore joints despite being allergic to the oral form

Thanks for the hugs / choc / wine upthread, total of 5 1/2 hrs screaming on Monday, then trip to GP where he was grinning and babbling away. Bah, GP is probably muttering 'neurotic mother' every time she sees me. Though he now has the snotty cough bug. Just like all the other quiche babies, more or less!

He didn't have too bad a night last night but I feel crap today, knackered and headachy - think the snot bug is making a nest in my sinuses. I hope everyone else on here has more resistance!

button eep, hope the washing machine holds up! A least you can comfort yourself by stroking lovely new Bee...

Puddle congrats on job, poor DH!

truth - whatever works! Ignore DH, it sounds like you're responding to what your DS needs now and he's learning to self settle - yay! v jealous, long way off that here!

True to form, ds slept through the whole thing. He's now on the floor rolling about quite happy provided I keep my eyes on him at all times. If I try to look away to type this he goes into meltdown!

MissusT I think if the washer goes dh will be kicking himself that we spent all that money on the Bee. Though it is lovely and I am stroking it a lot. All my friends at school are wildly jealous and keep nicking it for a little push! I've never been bothered or could afford desirables before whether prams or cars or clothes or whatever so it feels quite odd to be the owner of such an item!

All those feeling pressured - don't forget that whilst your dh/ps might hit on a good idea at times, you're (generally) the ones who spend most time with the babies. So it stands to reason that you might know them well and therefore know if CC or whatever is for you and them or not. Sometimes it takes a fresh pair of eyes admittedly, but generally, a mum is pretty on the ticket.

Having a crap day. DS has done nothing but whinge and he's driving me crazy - so of course I'm feeling guilty and like a bad parent :( I haven't been able to eat anything yet because I've been trying to entertain him/feed him and now he's asleep on me and I don't dare move. Hope he's in a better mood when he wakes up.

Well I've sat on the sofa, immobile all day because of my back/shoulder. DS has been thoroughly bored and I feel like an even worse parent, resorting to CBeebies to occupy him.

I managed to hobble to the chemists with him, but the horrible pharmacist just told me to take paracetamol and bear it when I asked about BF friendly pain relief. Waaaah!

Queen - can DH have DS for a bit and you go off and get a nice shoulder massage? My mum did this for me a few weeks ago and it was luverly. In contrast to the rest I you DS is being a delight at the mo (not sleeping at night though). I'm sure in a couple of weeks time though DS will revert to grumpy sod and you'll all be rejoicing in your little bundles of joy.

DS is asleep on my lap so catching up on OBEM. Feeling so broody for a little baby new born. Then I think about having another DS or having DS with another baby or even having DS when pregnant and then I change my mind!

Well DD is better although spotty. Temp did go quite high, but calpol sorted it. I dont think it's chicken pox as shes had the spots for 24 hours now without hem becoming blisters....

Hope everyone has a good night! :)