The most helpful thing about breastfeeding you wish you'd known...

[Fishpond]

I am hoping to breastfeed DC1 when he/she is born next summer. I am not a crazy anti-formula woman, but it's very common here in the US to bottle feed so I expect to get a bit of looks and meet a bit of resistance, so would like to go in with the most knowledge possible from (imo) the best experts - mums who previously breastfed.

What do you wish you had known before you started? I plan on not buying bottles / formula in 'just in case' as I have heard that makes it much easier to stop. Family is already telling me that I'll "need to have bottles or else you can't pass it to anyone else"

and dont buy bottles. do all the feeding yourself in 1st 3 months

You'll be fine :)

Use your nipple to tickle your baby's lips to stimulate their suckle reflex. Your baby should have a latch that looks almost as if they've got most of your breast in their mouth...not just the nipple. Guide your breast to them, not the other way around.

Be prepared to nurse ALL THE TIME when your baby is a newborn. Devote your time to that and that alone and you'll be off to a good start. Stay away from pumps until your supply is fully established (probably a few weeks after giving birth). Invest in a good nursing pillow (I loved the My Brest Friend much more than the Boppy!) and keep hydrated and rested.

Best of luck to you!

Put your baby to your breast as soon as possible after the birth. This is crucial to getting the sucking reflex working properly.

Babies are not that interested in feeding for the first 48 or so hours after birth as they have a reserve of stored energy. DO NOT listen to midwifes who want you to give the baby formula.

You and your baby WILL get the hang of it eventually. Why would your body grow and support a baby for 9 months, then when it's born forget what it is supposed to do next?

Chances are your baby won't sleep as well as their formula fed counterparts (check out my username!). It's probably best if you don't compare.

That, for me, I hit a wall at about 4 months - where I get very tired, feel drained and exhausted despite getting decent amounts of sleep & contemplate giving up. Just hit it last week with DD2, nearly the same stage to the day as with DD1.

For me, I just need to struggle through for a month or so & then we get back on an even keel again.

Routines and breastfeeding don't generally work until well after weaning at 6 months.
It is normal for babies to suck, suck, suck and then for the pattern to change to a 1-2 suck then pause, then suck 1-2 times then pause .....;.baby is not falling alseep, the milk becomes more creamy and they require a pause and also that the butterfly sucks at the end they are still feeding, just need to complete it. Allowing baby to come off naturally is important. However, if a baby is feeding for more than 50 minutes each time on one breast there may be a latching issue.
The most problems come from poor latch and poor positioning i.e. how the baby attaches and whether it is comfortable for mum. Mums need to learn how to correctly attach ensuring the baby has a wide mouth and taking more breast below the nipple than above, also this needs to be in a position that is comfortable for mum without needing to reposition for mum.
I also wish I had visited a breastfeeding group before the birth, spoken to other mums who breastfed and met them prior to the birth. This was advised but I never seemed to make time to do it.

Listen to your baby. Write stuff down if that helps - after a few days you may see a pattern. Keep doing it as everything changes. All babies, mums and bodies are different. You'll work out what's best for your own combination. Whatever feeds your child - you can do it and he/she will thrive on your love first and foremost.

I breast fed my first til 1 year, my second til 5 months, both were combined feeders at points, nipple shields helped with the first not the second, but both had their own foibles - every baby has their own needs. Don't let it become political for you - just feed your child. Best of luck we've all been there.

Definitely that routines and breastfeeding don't work - baby will make their own eventually. It's also worth reviewing what wardrobe you have for easy breastfeeding access as there's nothing worse than trying to reorganise your clothing and find your bra clips with a screaming baby :)
Oh, and comfort feeding / feeding to sleep is fine and bl**dy effective. Why lose sleep trying to get baby to sleep on their own when your boobs were designed for the purpose! A baby won't be spoilt by too much love or attention and sleep is essential for a happy mum.
I think it probably applies to all parenting decisions, but don't let anyone guilt you into doing something that doesn't "feel" right.

If you can feed lying down it is a godsend. You can roll over, remove baby from basket and place baby in bed on boob.

Blistered bleeding nipples are normal even of latch is fine. However it only hurt for a few moments on latching on. When it was really bad I did skip the feed off that boob but no more than that or it would have exploded!

Your nipples can heal very quickly. I found Lanisloh good for that.

As for routine, follow the babies cycle rather than imposing one.

Muslins are a godsend for mopping up and inserting in the opposite boob cup when feeding.

Reassure DH if feeli g left out in that the constant washing, topping up of water and providing of food is essential.

If you need to sleep do so even if you have guests round.

Get a pint glass for water as you will be drinking a lot! Sometimes you might even need two for your bedside.

Fennel tea helps stimulate supply. Dill and mint tea help it to be a bit less 'windy' for baby.

Sometimes for a baby in the throes of teething only a boob will do to get them through the night.

BF baby poo doesn't smell as bad even when they are weaning provided they are still getting bm.

Get yourself to SureStart, La Lech or other BF cafes. At the very less you and dc will get out!

Fenugreek seeds/powder/capsules work wonders for milk supply. In my case, they made almost an overnight difference. More details can be found on kellymom.com.

Fennel also helps with milk supply. Having a sleep in the afternoon helps with producing richer more satisfying milk - saves a little one screaming all evening until 1am due to colic.

Don't know if it's available in the US, but I found gripe water a godsend after a month as things such as infacol were useless for colic.

The toe-curling in the slippers as they latch on was almost universal in my ante-natal group, and according to a LLL b/f counsellor my latch was perfect, it just hurts.

Apparently a cabbage leaf in the bra helps to ward off mastitis, if a breast is red and sore, but I ended up on antibiotics.

Ignore completely all those idiots that come out with remarks such as "you can't see how much they're getting if you don't bottle feed" etc etc

Good luck and as others have said, it's a learning curve for both of you, but absolutely brilliant when it works.

FWIW it took me 11 weeks until dd stopped screaming every evening, and then suddenly, it became really easy, all I needed to do was to shove her up my jumper, and when I went back to work, the early evening feed used to just knock her out like a light. I'm so glad I persevered through the difficult bits because it was really worth it.

Sorry if it has already been said, but in the first few weeks, you will probably think to yourself "DC can't be hungry again!" You will feel as if all you do is feed, and all baby wants is more. But it is completely normal, they have tiny stomachs and burn it off so fast, and it won't last long. I remember getting worried that DD wasn't getting enough, or that she should be going at least a couple of hours between feeds. When I just relaxed and followed her cues, I felt much better.

Also, make sure your DH knows how important your comfort is for successful BF. Keep visits short, and if you need to kick everyone out or go to bed to feed, just do it.

Stick with it though. I found it hard at first, but am so glad I persevered. Good luck!

It takes time to get established. Focus on feeding for the first couple of weeks, it's a new skill for both ou you. The more you do it the easier it gets. And remember, once you can do it, life's a breeze!

Oh, and practice feeding lying down. Then you can feed and rest at the same time.

Demand feed, feed for everything my 4 week old dd is now sleeping from 10pm to 5am but feeds a lot during the day. Feeds can vary from 5 mins to 30 mins but night feeds often only take ten mins.

Skin to skin is really important, no skin to skin with dd1 and feeding was a nightmare, ds and dd2 had skin to skin and were latched on straight after birth and have had no problems what so ever. I had to do this myself at the hospital as all 3 times they tried to wrap them up.

You can use a dummy but always offer a feed (if practical first). Dd 1 had a dummy a lot but used to go for to long stretches and my milk supply dropped where as dd2 has one only for a bit of comfort in the car etc.

To break the latch press down on your boob with a finger. Sounds logical but so many people don't know how to de - latch a sleeping baby.

Make breastfeeding your priority, don't try to be back to normal straight away, aim to spend the first few days in bed being waited on while you feed your baby on demand. Always have a drink by your side.

Oh, oh oh, I forgot the most important! If you want to detach the baby painlessly when it's in full refuelling mode, wet your finger first then slide it between baby and breast. So much easier than a dry finger, honestly!

Has night three been mentioned? Your milk supply switches from colostrum, making your boobs rock hard, so it's really difficult for baby to latch on. Everyone I know who has breast fed found this an extremely challenging night. I found it very painful for the first three weeks and just smoothed my nibbles in Lansinoh, which is great as you don't have to remove it before feeding, after six weeks it's much easier. I expressed a little bit each day from this point, so I could have the occassional night out and if anything it made me produce more milk. My friend bought me a pillow from expressyourselfmums.co.uk, not for everyone, but I found it amazing. Also, it's is all on you, which is both difficult and ultimately incredibly rewarding. I feel so proud at how big my daughter, who's 20 weeks, has got just on my milk. I had a "just switch to formula" family and I'm so glad I stuck it out.

I don't know if this has already been mentioned but I found a feeding cover (bebe au lait was the make) absolutely brilliant. I was very self conscious about feeding in public and this meant I could feed confidently just about anywhere without anyone seeing anything.
I have a second baby now and have bought a couple of 'breast vests' - they cover up my flabby tummy, and it means I can wear all my normal pre-pregnancy tops for bfing.
I had a lot of pain establishing the feeding with both (no-one told me it hurt!), but it's really worth persevering - I ended up feeding my first for a year, and it's wonderful once you and your baby have got the hang of it. Also - you can enjoy all the 'guilt free' tv time with your feet up.....
Good luck with it!!

Yy to Himalaya and the "burger hold" - holding your breast as you would hold a hamburger - this really helped my DCs latch on.

I was lucky to find breastfeeding easy and pain-free, but my biggest concern was the amount of milk my baby was getting - it's not like a bottle where you can count the ounces. DS1's weight gain was not very reassuring, as he was born on the 75th percentile and dropped down to the 25th percentile over the first few weeks. I was rubbish at expressing as well, so I really had no idea whether he was getting enough. I think with hindsight he was a big baby at birth and was not "meant" to be that size so he settled back to the "right" weight for him. He was feeding regularly and seemed healthy in every other way (alert, content between feeds, lots of wees and poos etc), but I couldn't help worrying about this. Luckily my HV and family were supportive and I didn't come under any pressure to top up. There is some evidence to suggest that formula fed babies do tend to be over-fed.

I would say: trust your body to provide enough milk and your baby to take what he / she needs. My DH would say: throw away the bloody percentile charts!

All excellent advice...I also had to clip a safety pin on my bra in the first few weeks as I was so befuddled I really had no clue what side was last and a baby who was very hiccupy so some lovely feeds re-appeared and off we started again!
I found with all of mine that it helped me enormously to make day and night time feeds a very different experience... in the day lots of chat, walking around, music, radio, eye contact...at night I tried to just give lots of cuddles, feed very quietly, whispering reassurance, and not switch the light on, I wish they had invented kindles then...any way all 3 seemed to get the hang of sleeping through with no upset..probably too boring to wake up properly for.
And I miss it all..

I hope we're not scaring the OP with too much talk of pain at first. OP, really, experiences vary wildly. With DS1, I had no pain and only very mild discomfort (tbh, strong suction would sum it up), ever. With DS2, different baby, different way of latching - it was sharply painful for a couple of weeks. I think it was less to do with latch and more to do with the way my nipples responded to being sucked on after several months of not being! Though DS2 has always tended towards a latch like a letterbox (doesn't open his mouth much).

Point I'm trying to make is that pain isn't compulsory. Don't freak out if it hurts at first, but DO seek help from a qualified bf counsellor, because chances are, there's something you can do to improve matters.

Lots of good advice here. From my experience:
Yes, it might hurt a bit at first but it won't hurt forever
No, cabbage leaves do NOt help, they just make you smell of cabbage
Yes, you can do it, even if everyone around you is telling you to "top up" the baby with formula
Trust your own instincts, if you find it hard you are not a failure!
When you are completely knackered and can't even think straight, it is so much easier to breastfeed than to try to sterilise bottles, make up formula, keep the screaming baby occupied while the milk warms up / cools down because it's too hot etc etc.

1. Put Lansinoh (lanolin nipple cream) on your nipples after every feed - DO NOT LET YOUR NIPPLES GET DRY AND SORE!!!!!
2. Persevere - in my experience bottle feeding is not easier than breastfeeding - in fact it can be harder. If you can get it working then there is nothing easier than breastfeeding and the ease of it lasts for a long time.

(I have 3 kids and have only breastfed my 3rd for longer than a few weeks and it has been a million times easier than bottles once I got past the first few weeks.)
Good luck!

That if you give up the guilt will eventually get to you. I did and I'm going to do something about it. I'm off to see a breastfeeding councillor tomorrow to see if I can relactate.

BTW FF babies don't sleep through the night, my DD (20 weeks) is still night feeding

I wish I'd had someone try and convince me to carry on. It might be worth having someone close who will help you when you feel like giving up