High need baby support thread

[LittleWaveyLines]

Does this sound like your baby?

1. Feeds frequently daytime
2. Feeds frequently nighttime
3. Needs to be constantly held
4. Wont sleep alone
5. Hates the car seat/pram
6. Short naps

If so - join the club! :)

Thank you button. Your post was humbling and at the same time very, very important.

Nurturing your baby is a force impossible to describe to anyone who is not a mother, and any detraction from how you expected or wanted that to happen is heartbreaking.

I BF successfully and still want to slap those who say its easy. It's not. It's tiring, it's painful, it's constricting and I totally see why some women cannot do it, for whatever reason, and feel upset when they can't.

jan I second baths. Mummyboobie-baby baths as they're known here were and still are sometimes life saving.

Ah crap. Crying.

Thanks for the support ladies. We've had a much better day today. I took LO back to the cranial osteopath and it seems to have really chilled him out. He just drifted off to sleep no problems at all (fingers crossed he stays that way for a few hours!) I'm still really unsure what to do about the feeding though (being a parent brings lots of guilt / confusion eh?) Do you mind me asking how often you fed/feed your four month olds? None of my friends managed to BF so I can't compare myself to them.

Button, thank you for your post. It's really helped me see things from the other side. As I said, none of my friends have managed BFing for a variety of reasons and I'm often jealous of them and their sleep-through-the-night formula fed babies! Grass is always greener huh? Have a hug, and As I'm learning, no matter what you do, "it feels as though you've let yourself and your baby down somehow" I guess we just need to work out how to turn off the guilt?

Queen, Hahahah, just hahahahah, I have nothing else! You'll laugh about it too one day I'm sure

Oh, and I've never tried a "Mummyboobie-baby bath" They sound great.

Button -

Truth - well my 5.5 month old feeds 1 - 1.5 hourly during the day (maybe up to almost 2 hours if we are out and she's very distracted) and 2 hourly to hourly during the night. And always has done.

I sometimes wonder if I just don't produce enough milk for her to go longer... she always takes both sides... it is exhausting. With her cold at the minute she is wanting feeding every 30mins as she can't breath and feed so is only snacking... I am getting sore again like in the early weeks...

Thanks guys. I don't think I've ever said that before really. The problem is that in RL you can start to say things and get derailed when people (DH, MiL etc) butt in and you end up going off on a tangent. Here on MN you can start a train of thought and finish it because until you've pressed post, no one can interrupt you!

Anyway, after aptamil-gate yesterday DS's eczema is getting worse and worse each hour. Poor love took ages to settle tonight and every time he had his face or head against my shoulder he was rubbing it to itch it. I feel like the world's worst mum again so I'll be needing that crown again Queenkong!

I hope we all have quiet nights tonight. I'm off to bed in a min - while the going's good!

Button - thanks so much for sharing that post. I'd read some of what you've been through already, but not the full extent of it. It doesn't make sense, when breastfeeding is (or should be) the most natural thing in the world for it to (for some) be one of the hardest.

It makes me so cross when people just assume that all women who ff or mix feed just didn't try hard enough.

So after yesterday's feelings of inadequacy i feel even more so today. Had DS weighed today. He's put on an ounce in 2 weeks. He had jumped up to the 2nd centile, but he's dropped back down again. He weighs 13lb and he's 25 weeks old. I guess I should feel glad that I've fed him until now - even if he's not exclusively bf. I feel like I've tried everything.

People keep saying maybe he's just meant to be small, but I really don't think he is - neither me or DH are small and neither of our families are small.

I feel guilty whatever I do. I know he'd gain weight if I gave him more formula, so by continuing to bf him I feel like I'm keeping him small, but then when I do give him top-ups I feel like a failure for resorting to formula. I felt great earlier this week, as he refused his formula top-up. I think now it was just related to him being under the weather as he's guzzled them every night since. I really don't want to stop feeding, but hate him being so very tiny - don't know what to do for the best. Anyway that's my tale of woe for the day.

QK - love the description of your Christmas cards. I think you should take a photo for us to admire!

Oh Titania. I really do feel your pain I'm not going to offer any advice as you're in a real rock & hard place scenario and it's something you have to work out for yourself. But much much hugs x

Thanks so much button. Feel loads better this morning (had a fairly good night last night). I've been seeing a paediatrician and he says DS is absolutely fine - hitting all milestones etc. so I know I'm just being daft. I'll start to wean soon (as soon as his cough has gone) and although it may take a while that may help. Thanks again.

DS slept for 5.5hrs in his bedside cot last night - he's not slept more than 1.5hrs in it for about 10 weeks He only wanted feeding 3 times overnight last night instead of 6 times, so I feel pretty good today!

Hope you all had reasonable nights too. I'd love to see your cards too QueenKong - I did some footprints of DS for my sisters but I got my mum to help, I think we just covered the kitchen table with paper in the end, then "walked" him across it and picked the 3 best prints.

Glad you're feeling better this morning Titania. One line of yeterday's post stood out though: People keep saying maybe he's just meant to be small, but I really don't think he is - neither me or DH are small and neither of our families are small We have exactly the opposite - people keep asking if mine or DP's families are particularly tall (as LO is loooooong and we clearly are not!) but we can't think of any tall adults in either family. There are lots of tall children on both sides though so we think that DS will be one of those kids who's the tallest in his class until secondary school when everyone suddenly shoots past him. I hate to join the ranks, but 'maybe your DS is just meant to be small now' and will be one of those boys shooting past mine when they hit their teens

Queen PLEASE post a picture of the reindeers.

DS has a tooth that means he slept even less than usual last night and is not remotely interested in feeding

Right, and [biscuits] all round I think. Today I might even stretch to offering you all some

Well, I'm glad you two had nice quiet nights! DS went down at 8.30, was up at 10.30, 1.40 and 3.50. FF babies that sleep all night my eye!

Still, he's woken up in a sunny mood unlike his mum and is currently sleeping peacefully to recover from the effects of the night again unlike his mum

It's funny though. Although we had a dreadful evening and an even more dreadful night, I don't feel as down and bad about it as a week or two ago so maybe I've turned a corner of my own?

I still feel majorly guilty about the aptamil though. DS's eczema is getting worse not better. We're off to gp this morning though to get more ointment so hopefully that will get better again soon as I think it was the eczema bothering him last night.

Ooohhh- quiet here tonight!! Hope that's a good sign and u are all getting some sleep!! 3 nights running I have got ds to self settle in his crib!! Tonight was so funny- he babbled and caught on to crib side trying to eat it. He did this for 15 mins before really suddenly just falling asleep- like something u see in a movie!! Loving the high spirited side of this hnb thing- he's gonna be one to watch- I have visions of him climbing out of the cot already lol!!

Ugh yes, mampig, it was a quiet evening. Noisy ridiculously early morning though. LO's nappy leaked and in the wake of changing him, changing sheets etc (even though all done in the dark in silence) he is now Wide Awake so I've given up on getting him to sleep and bought him downstairs. He's so bliming gorgeous though that I've already forgiven him the sleepless night and I'm just beaming at him

Button, I hope I didn't offend you with my sleep-through-the-night formula comment. My friends are clearly lucky with it [jealous]

Morning early risers

Been awake, although in bed, since 3, DS seems to be a bit constipated or have trapped wind as he wriggled and strained for hours but got nowhere , poor thing. I assume it has to do with the last couple of days journey into solids...

Haven't caught up on all new posts yet, hope you're all OK!

Truth- sorry to hear you're up so early. I'm doing a feed but am hoping he'll go back to sleep.

Totally understand what you mean about forgiving all. When DS smiles at me all is right with the world! Yesterday was hard work but fun. DS is developing a personality and it's a cheeky one. He tried to grab my glass off me in the cafe. Succeeded when we were at home so covered me in water, I was so soaked I had to change. Changed again after he grabbed the bowl of his lunch and coated me in that too.

He's only just started to really reach out and grab things so I need to start being more careful. He also dived off my lap to grab a toy. Luckily we were on the sofa, but it made me realise I now need constant vigilance!! Still at least life isn't boring.

Mampig - so jealous of the self-settling. How did you manage that?

Oh my giddy aunt. Sit down girls. DS just slept from 1 til 6. Without waking. Would you Adam and Eve it? Think I'm in shock.

Wow QK. Thats amazing. DS did that once, but I kept waking up wondering what on earth was going on. Hope you managed some sleep though. Well done babykong.

It's the longest spell of unbroken sleep I've had in 6 months. I need scraping down off the ceiling I'm so excited!

QK- it's great!!! Similar story here and can't quite believe it myself!!!

Titania- don't have time to bath him every night so I take him to our room, change him, small massage with moisturiser, feed him and cuddle till he settles a bit. He has stopped falling asleep with boob by himself! I then pop him into his crib awake. Thought I was snookered last night as he came to life again with his adorable antics!! I or dh just sit on the bed beside him, hold his hand/ pop dummy in. Don't make eye contact!!!. He seems to have learned that it's bedtime when we do this. First night took an hour, last night was 15 mins!! All this is done in low light. I also use a sleeping bag only at night and he seems to know that by getting this on, it really is night time. bet none of this happens tonight now!!

Mampig - thanks for that. I already do most of that - it's the popping him in his cot awake I need to work on! He just doesn't seem to be able to self settle. I'm going to make a concerted effort over Christmas!

Hope you all have a good day.

Whoop whoop! DS did 11-4 too!

truth you didn't offend me at all! And I too am There is a massive assumption though that ff = sleeping through. I don't think we're helped by the fact that ds can't normally take too much in one go. Though saying that, for the last two nights he's drained his 6oz bottle so I might try 7oz to see what happens...

Don't think I'm in for a brilliant day. Ds's eczema is simply refusing to improve as quickly as last time and it's making him v grumpy. His bottom is really sore too so I've swapped to disposables for a bit so that he can stay a bit drier and hopefully heal.

Button- it sounds very hard for you both. Have you tried bepanthen on his bottom- I swear by it!

button - I may have missed it in the thread but has your DS been diagnosed with CMPI? My niece had CMPI very severely (still does at 14, although nowhere near the reaction she used to) and she was covered, literally every inch of her body, in eczema as a baby. As I'm sure you know, it's heartbreaking! My sister had a total nightmare. Once the CMPI was diagnosed and she cut out all dairy, including from her own diet as she was bf, it did clear up well, although DN would still react to milk if she came in contact with it in any way whatsoever when young, and she'd react in a typical 'allergic' way, not just with the eczema.

Not that me telling you that is helpful in any way, but thought I'd share her story - I just wondered if it was the same thing

Top stuff for all you top sleepers last night! Afraid I won't be joining your club yet