High need baby support thread

[LittleWaveyLines]

Does this sound like your baby?

1. Feeds frequently daytime
2. Feeds frequently nighttime
3. Needs to be constantly held
4. Wont sleep alone
5. Hates the car seat/pram
6. Short naps

If so - join the club! :)

Ds is asleep in his basket, finally. Having puked and shat all over me.

DD1 has just puked all over her bed and bedding.

And I've just had a total meltdown. I'm totally done in and fed up and everything else.

I've had enough. Again.

Thanks Mampig, if your DC is anything like mine I definitely do know the answer! DS did used to spend at least the first 4 hours at night in his bedside cot up until about 3 months, then he just wouldn't. It's almost like as he became more alert, he began to notice if I wasn't there. Although I really don't know why he's like this as DP and I are both very laid back people.
Do any of you think it was to do with the birth? (sorry if already discussed) but what were your births like? Mine was an induction and not great, I wonder if it stressed him in some way?

Oh Button - poor you. Have you got any help there tonight?

Re birth - mine wasn't great either. She was back to back with an ear down presentation and ended up being ventoused then forceps.....

Nope. Just me. Whatever you do, don't be nice to me. Give me anything but sympathy.

Right. Off to wash bottles then bed.

We had a longish but intervention free birth - OP and large baby - but my money's on reflux and his personality just being this way.

Ah ok - stiff upper lip then. Right-o!

Yeah my money's on personality and genetics. Me and siblings and maternal cousins and one lot of (maternal side again) second cousins have all been the same apparently....

Wow am I glad to find you guys. Can I join you please?

DS is 3mo. Lovely, lovely, lovely during the day (except for the 10 mins before each nap), but SCREAMS each night and every time we put him near his car seat and wakes every few hours for a feed. I'm knackered!

Hmm, I reckon you're all probably right about the personality thing. Oh goody. Bodes well for when he's two.
Poor you Buttonmoon. If it's any consolation I was puked over by DS this evening too. A rice cake was involved, that's all I can say. I'll just refer to it as The Rice Cake Incident, I think.

I had one of these, shes now a HM toddler but lovley.

Welcome ATruth!

out of general nosiness - would you call your DS unusually alert? Do people comment on it? Trying to find a theme here....

Bet01 - mine was also an induced birth, then a long labour and EMCS. I hadn't though this could still be impacting on 3mo LO, but I took him to a cranial osteopath last week and she thinks he is still carrying tension from that. She also lent me a book which discussed how long labours or complicated labours can put lots of pressure on LOs' heads and therefore cause problems later on.

Yes, definitely. His granny is always showing off to people about how alert he is. He seems to really take in every single thing, especially at night when I'm trying to get him to sleep. He'll be looking round the room studying everything. I once tried to tell DP that I thought he was scared of an open wardrobe as he was studying it so intently Why? (Sorry, I haven't had a chance to read the whole thread yet, just the last few and first few posts)

Buttonmoon, I know what you mean about not wanting people to be nice to you. My (childless) best friend keeps trying to be helpful/nice/give me lots of hugs and it makes me a leeeeetle bit mad. Here, have a gentle punch on the arm instead.

I have a theory that high need babies are just tooooo alert so they need extra comforting and entertaining, and other things upset them too much (car seat etc). Being hyper alert also means a tendency to stay wired.....

ATruth-that's really interesting. Maybe I should take DS to see a cranial osteopath. He definitely is better in the day now, it's just the nights...

LWL-on the alertness thing, yes definitely. My Dad came to stay and just couldn't believe how DS wouldn't sit quietly on my lap (this was when he was about 2 months old) as apparently I always did when I was a young baby. Instead DS had to be constantly jiggled, rocked and walked. After two days dad declared 'you must be knackered'. Erm, yes. But he's very proud of his 'incredibly alert and intelligent' grandson. Bless.

Get over yourself Button!!! (is that ok??!!)

ATruth: mmm- an induced labour here too but just gas n air for pain relief and normal delivery. Cord was round his neck though initially, but it was freed up easily. Wonder if you have something there??!! Big enuf baby at 9 lb 4 too. Come to think of it, my easiest child was also an easy (if u can call it that) textbook delivery!! All my others (I have 4) were big babies and more complicated deliveries, and also hn.....

If you wait a week Bet I'll let you know if it works. The first session seemed to make it worse so I won't recommend it yet, but I've been told to stick with it so am taking him back next week. My NCT friends swear by it but appear to be blessed with uber chilled babies anyway This is the book if you're interested (though again, not necessarily a recommendation as it's not all relevant, but if you could borrow a copy it would be worth a look)

LittleWavey, I mis-read your post as 'stay weird' and got all defensive. My LO is not weird. He's the most beautiful little thing in the world Good theory though. The car seat definitely bothers him. I don't know if this has been suggested yet, but after one horrific journey at night with him we discovered that if one of us sat next to him and we kept a light on so he could see us, he got less distressed. Not that it matters, after that trip we've decided we're never leaving home again!

Oooh, my Osteopathy book mentions cord around neck too mampig, but it just says that those babies won't want anything round their necks (who would?!) and they might be fearful about lumpy food!

In fact, it appears to mention all possible versions of labour and comes to the conclusion that all of the babies will need osteopathy Cynic? Moi?

The cranial osteopath & lactation consultant I see both think the birth has loads to do with how the baby is. The Osteo even thinks first babies (for VB) have set personality traits. Not sure how much I buy into that though.

I had a very long first stage and quick second stage but it was intervention free. Still the LC thinks the labour and TT is probably responsible for tension in neck & jaw leading to the feeding probs we've been having.

Saw the LC this eve who is really happy with his feeding so that's good (it's been a struggle and we're not EBF anymore but he's putting on weight which is the main thing).

Last night staying with Mum - its been nice to have someone around to help but I'm a little weary of the "you need to be able to put him down for naps, you need to get him out of your bed, you need to wean him off the boob, you need to feed him purée, you need to get him used to not being with you"... Arrrggghhhh

I thought we were heading for a good night, but he woke up having a coughing fit about 1hr ago. He's fallen asleep again now but has rolled onto tummy (from side). Don't want to wake him but don't want him on his front either.

Am catching the train home tomorrow - and have to negotiate the tube with DS and luggage. So looking forward to that!

Wishing you all lots of sleep!

Welcome to the new joiners!

My birth was was an elective section (have a metal plate in my pelvis), not sure what bearing that might have but my feeling is that it's just his personality.

I'm really pleased tonight so far. DS has been asleep on the mattress since 7.30 with one feed (from the top boob!). I even got up for a wee! So far so good :)

Well, all went really well until he got all fatty and fidgety culminating in a poo at 3am. Yet again after changing him he was far too awake and I paced/rocked/boobed him until 4.30 at which point I was ready to scream! I gave him to DP who got him to sleep in 20 mins, got him into bed with me and he slept for only 15 mins before deciding it was time to get up, at 5

Urgh. Still, pleased with the progress. I actually think I could probably leave him in the evening, going to sort the baby monitor and try tonight.

Fatty = farty

Thank you all for the non-sympathetic sympathy!

After a rubbish day/early evening it was all good for a whil. DS woke at 11.40, drank 6oz burped with no sick and went straight back to sleep. Then slept like an angel til 3.50 when he awoke choking on copious quantities of acid. He was ultra upset (wouldn't you be?!) and took a long time to calm down enough to take another 3oz before falling asleep again. And waking up and 6am doing exactly the same thing again.

I had been planning to ring the paed again today but this just makes me need to more. I just wish if there was nothing they could do they would say so rather than saying try this for a week and see and raising my hopes. If I knew this was how it would be til he grows out of it then I could at least resign myself to it but the constant promise that this might work or that might work is just so wearing when it doesn't.

Well, dh home tonight until next Weds am (yay) and then he breaks up on Dec 16th and stays off until Jan 3rd so I'm really hoping that he'll be as good as his word and help out a lot bit during that time. I sent him a whole load of texts last night when I was melting down which wasn't easy for him as he was eating out with a colleague so he had to go to the loo so he could ring me!

Hoping today will be a little better ^^

Well it seems like I have a poorly babe this morning. He's got a cough & cold and is most unhappy. He woke at 4 coughing and crying and it took me about an hour to calm him down. Up for the day at 7.30 though so can't complain too much.

I've squirted saline up his nose which he's none too happy about, but don't know what else to give him.

I'm now especially looking forward to the train journey home. Tube ride with a grumpy, non-sleeping, poorly baby (plus luggage) anyone?

Jen - glad you've managed to get your DS to lie on the bed. Hope your great escape tactics work tonight. Has your R & R turned up yet? I think we have the same one from what you were saying!

Button - tell me to butt out or mind my own business if you like, but have you tried a cranial osteopath. I know I seem to be suggesting that for everything but the LC I've been seeing was telling me last night about a baby with TT and reflux and how Osteo treatment had helped. Apparently with TT there can be tension in the mouth even after it's divided and there are nerves in the jaw that can get pinched which affect food (milk) digestion. You would need to find a CO that understood about TT in babies though. As I said it might not be at all relevant to you, but thought I'd mention it.

Here's hoping you all have a good day.