High need baby support thread

[LittleWaveyLines]

Does this sound like your baby?

1. Feeds frequently daytime
2. Feeds frequently nighttime
3. Needs to be constantly held
4. Wont sleep alone
5. Hates the car seat/pram
6. Short naps

If so - join the club! :)

Just been to get ds weighed - 17lb1, the fatty! Of course he was a total angel whilst there, all smiley and giggly, flirting with the HV.

Back home and he's currently grumbling into his dummy while trying to beat the life out of his gym.

Bad night here though too. He was good once he went down until midnight and then once he was down again he was fine until 4.30 when he wasn't fine at all. In the end he came in with me and grumbled and grizzled til 6 when my saving grace, dd2 came in and took him downstairs while she ate her breakfast. So I slept til 7 - bliss!

I watched that Baby Hospital programme last night and went to bed with a new resolve - to be grateful that he wasn't mega prem and poorly like those babies were, that he is at least alive etc. It lasted until 5am

On third HN baby, dr sears books were a godsend with my first, still refer to the website periodically here

Had an absolute shocker of a night last night, up from 12.30-2am with her, awake again at 6am. Zzzzzz.... Belatedly realised this morning she's cutting another tooth. Why am i incapable of logical thought during the night - didn't occur to me until 1.30 to give her some neurofen

DS is currently fast asleep in the mei tai, bless. Only the second time we've used it so I assume he must be comfy. Now, if I can just find a ginormous person with a mei tai who can hold me and sway me to sleep as I sway DS...

I think I'm worried about the GP purely because I have no idea what to say or even how to start. Was thinking of printing off the nhs list of depression symptoms, highlighting the ones I feel I'm suffering from and take it from there. LWL, am also going because DS has suddenly become very itchy on his head, thighs and forearms so want to get him checked out. Poor little fella manages to draw blood through scratching his head despite having his hands mitted and arms swaddled at night except for feeds.

I will let you know how it goes.

As an aside, I never thought I'd say this, but I feel so much happier with DS napping snuggled into me than I did about him napping in his cot yesterday. It's lovely to be able to walk about and have my hands free :)

Although I do worry that because he always seems tired, he gets very little playtime in the day before he starts fussing, rubbing his eyes and yawning again. I'd love him to maybe show interrst in or reach out and grab a toy, or make a roll attempt or anything, however tiny, so I know I'm not letting him down in that respect :(

You are not letting him down in any respect! I read someone's GF book and ds would never manage to be awake for the times he has to be in her routines! But I just know that its because he's a sleepy boy and that his sleep is often disturbed by his reflux.

Your plan with the GP sounds like a good one. Perhaps also write down a few of the things you've posted on here. If you're going to dissolve into tears then having it down in black and white might be a help to the GP!

JeewizzJen I have the same issues with co-sleeping/bf. My left shoulder and hip were really sore as I always slept on that side - DH was nervous about DS being between us. In the end I got a massage from an osteopath who said my shoulder blade was completely trapped and how was I able to stand the pain? :O Anyway, I think I have relaxed a lot now so the stiffness has abated. I also swap DS over - DH has got over himself - but I too have the problem of the wt patches. I often fall asleep at the same time as DS (or even before?) and without the breast pads, I end up in a puddle:) . I put a tena lady mat under the sheet to protect the mattress and if we wake up damp, I put a folded cot sheet over the wet patch - we might as well use them for sth!

What's wrong with swapping sides btw?

I'm not keen on swapping sides as DP is a pretty heavy sleeper and moves around a lot. At the very least I'd expect a duvet to end up over DS if DP was next to him! I'm hoping DS will let me move away a bit as he gets used to things so I'll not be locked into position all night... hopefully. I actually found it quite good when DP was right up against me as I could kind of lean back on him for support!

Great idea on the tenalady mat, I'll have to go embarrass myself in boots ;)

On a related note, has anyone read that Three in a Bed book?

Ooh yes! Mainly to justify co-sleeping to myself. It's wonderful. Would definitely recommend it, converted me into a full on hippy-mum!

Jen- just get the disposable baby change mats- much less

Oh and Queen- I've also morphed into a rip-roaring hippy

Right, I'm off to the library tomorrow to get it (whilst wearing my newly arrived R&R carrier ) to complete my transition to earth mother.

Welcome to the cult Jen! Will put your standard issue macramé sandals and tie-dye t-shirt in the post.

Oh TitaniaP, meant to say your post made me . I felt exactly the same yesterday after speaking to two friends who were really struggling to conceive. I vowed not to moan so much and just be grateful to have a happy healthy little boy. And I am incredibly grateful, but that doesn't help at 3am when they're awake for the 5th time, does it?!

Sorry, meant buttonmoon, not TitaniaP. Would blame sleep deprivation but last night wasn't actually that bad...

It is a good book even if I did get mildly irritated at the author's smugness that her parenting choices were supported in hindsight by lots of evidence! It did help me justify co-sleeping when I thought it was dangerous - but needed to do it!

I'm always getting suggestions/advice to give bottles and do CC or CIO whenever I put anything on facebook...... Someone tell me Iam doing right by continuing to EBF and not sleeptrain or wean at just 5 months?

You're doing right. If for no other reason than I'm doing it too and I don't want to be wrong

What Jen said. But also, you know you're doing the right thing - otherwise you'd have done CC, bottle etc by now. They are all legitimate parenting choices - but you have chosen differently for your own reasons. So how can that be wrong? You are doing what feels right for you and your spirited little girl.

Would you really want her any other way? Less alert? More passive? I'm willing to bet the answer is no. It would be great if she slept more but you can't have everything. You've succeeded in BF. Lots of mothers would trade a bit of sleep to be able to BF their babies and are crucifying themselves that it didn't work out. What I'm trying to say is that not every baby can be perfect, you've got a rubbish sleeper (so have I) but they can't all be good at everything!

Although I constantly have wobbly moments, I have definitely come to believe that you have to follow your own parenting instincts, regardless of anyone else's advice/success stories. If it doesn't feel right, even if it's hard,exhausting or whatever, then for me it's not right.

Thanks - just made me crack the first genuine smile all day .

Queenkong that would be me. I would happily sacrifice a bit of sleep at night for at least a night or two anyway to have been able to bf for longer than 7 weeks. I would have given my eye teeth but I've come to the conclusion after 4dcs that I'm just not much cop at it. Most of the time I'm ok with that but every now and again I'm overcome by it

And we're having to wean because of the reflux.

But ds is almost 5m and I've not done (and don't intend to do) any sleep training!

You ARE making the right choices LWL. When your baby is older, and amazingly sensitive and caring, you will know that you made the right choice at the time for you and your family.

That's what being a parent is all about - making a decision which is right at that moment in time. You're doing fine.

Sorry - I didn't mean to sound preachy at all. Was just trying to verbalise how I think when I get really fed up. Basically, trying to focus on the positives (because there are lots) and not focus on the stuff he isn't doing. Not sure it really helps though!

I'm sorry Buttonmoon :(

Queenkong - you didn't sound preachy - just reassuring!

Thanks both/all x

Can I join? DS (9 months) ticked every one on the list except short naps until about a month ago. He's now decided the buggy is ok as long as he faces outwards to nose around at people. Thank god for that, because he's 21 lbs now and my back couldn't cope with the sling for much longer. As he's getting older he's actually getting better in the day (some hope for you there!) but it's the sleep stuff that I'm beginning to resent.
Basically, DS is bf to sleep and WILL NOT sleep without me, either for naps or bedtime. I have to be right next to him, the bedside cot will not do. He even has his little hands spread out over my chest to be extra sure I'm really there. I once tried to bf him to sleep and sneak back downstairs. 20 mins later all hell broke loose. Poor DS was so upset to find himself alone that it took 30 mins of hysterical wailing before he'd calm down. So my night ends at 7.30pm. Lovely DP comes to bed with me and we whisper and look at our iPhones and stuff til we go to sleep. Ridiculous, right?
DS then wakes anything from every hour, to a nice long 3 hour stretch and then every hour. I don't even really mind the wakings, I do think I get enough sleep overall. I just wish DP and I could have an evening together, maybe even one day-gasp-go out for a drink. I sometimes feel so trapped with this small boy glued to my chest for 12 hours a night.
Help! I hope it gets better.

Bet, I could have written your post. You are not alone. Welcome!

Thanks Queenkong, it does help. Just makes me despair slightly when my friend tells me his DS is about to move to his own room, and they've been decorating the nursery, and I think 'own room? We can't even get DS out of the sodding bed!'

Welcome Bet!!! My ds is now at the stage where he is getting a bit big for his crib. A cot won't fit into our room, and I'm persevering with trying to get him down around 7.30. He went down tonight, but not last night, and i went to bed with him, co-sleeping as usual. Now, I really don't mind the co-sleeping after he's spent first part of the night in his crib, but very soon I'll have to decide does he go into his own room, or do I put him straight into our bed???

Welcome!

Signing in to the trapped-upstairs-with-baby-asleep-on-lap-club - who else is here tonight?