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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

to put tape over my nipples to stop 2 year old DS from BFing?

203 replies

ilikeyoursleeves · 05/08/2011 22:25

DS2 has just turned two and I am still BFing him. I have loved this experience and I also BF DS1 for 14 months. However, I am now starting to want my boobs back! DS2 constantly asks for 'more boobie MORE BOOBIE' and seems to want to feed even more now that he ever did (apart from when he was a newborn). He paws at me and pulls my top down and screams 'BOOOOOOOBIES' when we are public Blush (I wish I had called them something else now LOL).

I still do like feeding him at night and when he wakes up but I feel it's time to stop now. He obviously loves it though and I feel bad about stopping it if he still likes it. I have tried saying no to wind it down but he just shouts even more for it. So I am seriously thinking about taping them up or bandaging them and telling him they have run out of milk.

Would that make me a terrible mum? Any tips to cut down / stop BFing?

OP posts:
Loonytoonie · 06/08/2011 08:36

SoupDragon Grin Have just snorted some tea reading that.

SoupDragon · 06/08/2011 08:37

The "express it into a cup" suggestion came across as being the magical solution to thee problem when clearly it isn't. Tat is the point I was trying to make. back at 8.22 I said he needs to learn.

Loonytoonie · 06/08/2011 08:37

Oh god, she was a bog girl Shock, I meant BIG girl.
Although at times, she most certainly can be a bit of a bog girl, but that's another thread entirely.

RitaMorgan · 06/08/2011 08:38

Why not just express? Not everyone can express you know! Certainly not suddenly for a two year old if you haven't been previously.

EmLH · 06/08/2011 08:39

Extended breastfeeding is recommended and beneficial to your child emotionally and nutritionally. If you think about it logically, why would you swap to milk from another mammal early on when you have tailor-made milk of your own.

I think the only reason people think breastfeeding a toddler is wrong is because society in the UK makes you think that way. Before I had my DD I was probably one of those people who would have thought that it was a bit off but having read extensively on the subject and also now having personal experience of breastfeeding I know there is nothing wrong or sinister about it at all.

The bitty comments disgust me. They are ignorant and damaging to breastfeeding rates in this country. I have nothing against formula but believe breastfeeding is the better option and hate that people try to cheapen it when it's the most natural thing in the world. You should be ashamed of yourselves.

As for the weaning issue, I wouldn't go for the tape as I think it would be a shame to end a lengthy breastfeeding relationship in such a way. There are a lot of tips on gentle weaning on the net. Try jaygordon or the babycentre 'feeding older babies and beyond' board.

Good luck!

Loonytoonie · 06/08/2011 08:41

If I'm right, then the point that's being made is that BF is SO MUCH MORE about providing nutrition. It's about comfort and familiarity too. You're not providing that when you express into a plastic cup and hand it to your toddler.

MissyMoo321 · 06/08/2011 08:41

Soup- do children not understand the word no anymore ?

I just dont think breastfeed a 2, 3 whatever year old in public in neccesary, the childs old enough to understand they can't have it. Boundaries are important, why not teach the child they can have mummys milk for bed time and nap time? The expressing suggestion was just to make life easier when out.

mum0ftw0 · 06/08/2011 08:41

LOL @ Breastfeeding over aged 2 'not being right'.

You'd have to tell the entire continent of Asia that then, and the world, being that on average infants are breastfed until aged 4.

mum0ftw0 · 06/08/2011 08:46

missymoo it may not benecessary tobreastfeed a kid aged 2 or 3 in public, but I would certainly do it, if only to help other peoples mindsets, to normalise it and help them get the fuck overit, and learn that boobies are for babies.
I'd consider it me doing a favour for this warped society.

SoupDragon · 06/08/2011 08:46

missy, you've still not clarified what age it is OK to still bf in Public. Or bf at all.

Yes, I do realise that children can be told no, as i said before. However you can't just give them a beaker and expect them to be happy with it can you? Giving them a cup isn't going to suddenly stop them asking and asking and trying to help themselves is it?

mamadivazback · 06/08/2011 08:50

OP - I don't have any personal experience as I did'nt BF but my friend had to wean her determined 2 year old when she was put on high dosage pain killers.

I recall that she found the only option that would work was a tight sports bra and high necked tshirt with a vest top underneath tucked into her waistband, if her DD got a bit anxious and started pulling she would'nt find a way in anyway :)

Agree about not going cold turkey vut down to one or two quickfeeds at bed time or whenever is most suitable for you and make sure you are firm with your DS that this is the only feed and no matter how much he pulls, hauls and screams don't give in and just try to distract him or walk away and distract yourself because it can be upsettiing for you too.

To other posters - can I just say that not all people who bottle feed are denying their child comfort and nutrition etc, I agree breastmilk is better but sometimes you just have to make the best of the situation. I had a lot of lovely times feeding my DS and some bloody awful ones just like a breast feeding mothers. We are also not all ignorant people who look down upon breastfeeding (although there are some), everyone has their limits and I think although 2 is not old for breastfeeding ,in our society it is'nt seen as the norm and with things like the oh so intelligent 'bitty' scenario being played out constantly it's no wonder that there are those who can't help but think it's wrong to BF past 6 months.

Should also state that I took my son off of bottles at 10 months because of dental advice so no grubby bottles for us, I do think that is horrid right enough Blush

Longtalljosie · 06/08/2011 08:50

God this thread makes me want to track down David Walliams and slap him.

OP - the plasters sound like a great idea. You've done a fab job but if you'd like to stop now, that's completely fair enough.

Does your other half have any leave coming up? My best friend went for lots of strategic "walks" at BF time until her youngest got out of the habit of expecting it...

duchesse · 06/08/2011 08:51

Am in exact same position! Just came on as am so fed up with her twiddling my other nipple while feeding or scratching me down the front, or pulling while she's feeding. It's bloody painful and I've just about had enough. I think when you get into this abusive stage of feeding, you stop if you want to! It's a 2-way process and if you're not happy doing it any more, then you should stop. Saying milk's all gone doesn't work- she just knows it's not true, and can now undo my bra and help herself. I have just about had enough of sharing my body. I just feel sad as she's my last and I won't ever breastfeed anyone again.

BimboNo5 · 06/08/2011 08:56

People always say it looks odd/lazy/common whatever for older children/toddlers to still have a bottle though..so why is it different?

MissyMoo321 · 06/08/2011 08:56

As if I would say a set age Hmm all children are different, but if they are old enough to understand 'mummy is saying no, boobies are for bedtime or cuddle time' if they want the cuddles and warmth from mummy, it must be really hard when your trying to shop etc having a toddler having a tantrum when they should learn to wait, its the same principal if a child was wanting dinner, tv, certain toy etc they have to wait, whats the difference?

Jacanne · 06/08/2011 08:58

There is a section on Kellymom about nursing manners which may help.

www.kellymom.com/bf/older-baby/nursing-manners.html

I fed my middle dd until she was 3 - we stopped nursing out and about when she was 2-ish I think (unless she really, really needed it). Can't remember how we established that though - I think I would avoid sitting down and being accessible if I thought she was going to want to. I have a friend who used to let her ds feed to a count (ie he could have BF to a count of 3) when he was asking frequently. Am pretty sure that I am going to face this problem with dd3 who, at 15 months, feeds pretty much like a newborn and is always trying to lift my t-shirt up. Fortunately she's not speaking very much - just looks up at me and nods her head earnestly.

mum0ftw0 · 06/08/2011 09:01

sorry, don't mean to gang upon you missymoo. You are only displaying how most people think.

I hope the 'normal' attitude for us Brits changes though.

altinkum · 06/08/2011 09:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BimboNo5 · 06/08/2011 09:03

The usual zealots are out in force I see, Hairfullofsnakes and Rita how the hell are your 'she must be so insecure' and pathetic comments any better than those making bitty comments? All you do is make the them and us divide between bf and ff even bigger.

duchesse · 06/08/2011 09:04

I see there are the usual typically cretinous bitty and "just not right" comments. Maybe I should feed my daughter milk from a cow instead and watch her eczema creep back all over her body. Cos that would be better. Hmm

altinkum · 06/08/2011 09:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BimboNo5 · 06/08/2011 09:07

The usual cretinous comments all round Duchesse. Or is it okay for the comments to just be aimed at putting down those for feed their child formula?

duchesse · 06/08/2011 09:10

And as a point of information, 23mo DD is very sociable, well-adjusted and happy. Talks in sentences and happy to chat to anyone at all. Goes to day nursery one whole day where she runs the baby room and is one of the most contented babies there. Sorry to shatter another myth.

duchesse · 06/08/2011 09:11

Bimbo, you show me any comment aimed at bottle-feeders that is as cretinous as "bitty" and devoid of original thought and I'll agree with you.

BimboNo5 · 06/08/2011 09:13

TheCountessOlenska Sat 06-Aug-11 07:33:20

I'm so glad I don't bottle feed. The sight of a toddler with a grubby bottle hanging out their mouth just doesn't sit right with me.

ahem