what do you think when you see someone using a bfing cover?

[reastie]

Like one of those bebe au lait style ones. Put a thread on here recently saying I was a bit about bfing in public, and, following on from some advice here I've got a bebe au lait cover thingy which arrived yesterday. Thing is, I almost feel like I'm making a deal about flashing the fact I'm bfing while using it - a bit like 'look at me, i'm bfing, yes, bfing, trying to disguise it but everyone can see it, i'm bfing'. Tried it at home and DH says since the material is jazzy (I like the pattern though ) it sort of attracts attention to what I'm doing. I feel a bit about what people think when they see people using one as I feel a bit like I might get more odd looks by using one than not using one, but don't want to feed without one and flash myself publically (lots of my tops open at the top and I'm a mahossive 38I so alot of flesh on show).

tostaky why don't you read the thread before posting then you would have the answer to your question. I am assuming of course you meant muslin...

Never bothered with one myself - I use the vest down, top up technique. But if it's what you need in order to be able to bf in public, then go for it. It probably does draw more attention to the fact that you are bfing, but that's no bad thing. I think the more women bf in public, the more normal it becomes and the more other mum's are likely to give bfing a go. :)

I think people should use what they want - as long as the bfing covers aren't marketed in a way that makes mothers feel they must use them in order to be decent.

I used the vest down, top up method for both my DCs. Tbh I was more worried about showing my saggy stretchmarked stomach, than my breasts!

It worked fine with DD (DC1), but actually the bfing cover may well have been better for DS. I rarely fed him in public (not a real problem as due to school runs/playgroup I was only ever out for short amounts of time and used to plan around feeds to a certain extent). He was a terrible feeder, and if so much as a pin dropped he would get distracted and bob on and off!

i've only read the 1st page of 12 so far but am finding this interesting reading, i never had the confidence to b'feed in public with our 1st 2 (now 5-today, and 3 1/2)-didnt want 2 flash any nipple whilst they were latching on/pulling off, or show any of my tummy. at relatives houses for example i'd go up 2 a bedroom to b'feed in private-which no-one seemed to think anything of and it was even suggested 2 me.
i love the idea of these 'covers', but am worried that it may get too hot/be too dark for baby?

<a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=image.rakuten.co.jp/cresson/cabinet/00914615/img55798716.jpg&imgrefurl=en.item.rakuten.com/cresson/cape-kran/&usg=__zi8tTQLCoECQJp1PHgHbLO8VAas=&h=425&w=425&sz=62&hl=en&start=40&sig2=mE1h19VZA4e9bnvWms2tWw&zoom=1&tbnid=cgv0lhkfB1yZ3M:&tbnh=154&tbnw=154&ei=w2vZTcKHAc618QOI34CEBQ&prev=/search%3Fq%3Dbreastfeeding%2Bcapes%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DN%26biw%3D1366%26bih%3D659%26tbm%3Disch0%2C1029&um=1&itbs=1&iact=rc&dur=357&sqi=2&page=3&ndsp=21&ved=1t:429,r:10,s:40&tx=35&ty=70&biw=1366&bih=659" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">this is what they look like Not too hot they are made from a single sheet of cotton, and the top is open for you to peer in so they're not enclosed.

Yes, much, much more breathable than a muslin especially with the opening at the top letting air flow through. And you can get black or other ones that aren't of a loud print. Whatever you want. And again...
it's not about hiding the fact that you're breastfeeding.

Mine was much less obvious than the one in the pic above,I fed on a sofa in IKEA and a bloke sat right next to me and didn't notice I was feeding until dds toes started wiggling on his leg and he had a shock. It was thin and soft and floppy, the wired bit at the top wasn't too obvious,and it draped around me like a loose top. www.amazon.co.uk/Bebe-Au-Lait-Nursing-Cover/dp/B000XA148Y/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1306097011&sr=8-1 this one is a lot like mine,over my flowery vintage frocks it just looked like a pinnie.
i think if I was smaller breasted and dd had not liked to latch off all the time I might well not have bothered,but for the times when I would otherwise have slunk off to the car/loos etc,it was great.
should add that is MY own neurosis,and that other women with their breasts out while bf are fine with me,I don't think one should feel shy about it,but sometimes I did.

Helly, I had that EXACT one!

Did you? it is a prettier print than the one I had, I would have bought that one too if I'd seen it!

Helly - I had that one too. Twas lovely.

i had no shame about feeding in public.... happy to whip 'em out anywhere if baby was hungry. But dd is a nosey bugger very interested in the world and if doing it all again with a similar dc i might just consider one as she either pulled off to look (cue squirting) or cranes round without letting go (ouch)

having said that the look on the poor teenage lads face in the IKEA caf when he nearly got a face full of milk/ boob was priceless
well worth the twanged nipples

OP - I don't care - use one if you feel more comfortable that way. I would barely notice. Don't worry so much about what others think!

if you get the black bebe au lait its much more discreet and doesn't shout out 'hey i'm breastfeeding'. but as a pp said, its not about hiiding that you're bfing, its just not wanting to show your boobs. and that's a personal thing, and people who say 'stuff this, just feed in public and forget about it' seem to ignore this fundamental point.

Seems a shame to me that anyone should feel that they have to use a cover. I can't remember having any problems bfing in public. If you're using a simple, drop-cup sort of bra that just exposes the nipple and areola, and you are wearing a button-fronted loose-fitting top, you only have to undo a couple of buttons (can keep the top and bottom ones done up) and the baby's head conceals the rest.

A couple of my friends who felt self concious about it used very fine shawls slung over their shoulders. They felt able to fiddle about underneath discretely particularly when the babe wouldnt latch on (as they do!) All in all though you have to do what you feel is right for you in each situation. if you arent comfortable and uptight then it is harder to feed i always found.

sod everyone else.. its about you and your baby. Go out with family/ friends/ Mummies who are in the same boat and experiment with options. For me I was v. keen on empire line breastfeeding tops as they didn't expose any skin and covered up my tummy flab. They drew the least attention and the covers made ds hot & I couldn't see what I was doing. I discovered that if you can't build up confidence to feed in public, you either get stick indoors or give up feeding earlier than you want. Big thing for me was to have reading material to dip in and out of.

I agree with Cattleprod. I use a bebe au lait bfing cover. Since I started using it I have had so much more freedom to go out alone, as I feel I can feed my baby on a park bench, in a train station, etc... Before I would try to find a cafe or somewhere with suitable seating and have to buy a drink I didn't want.

My baby pulls off a lot and often shouts and screams during feeds because of wind/colic. The cover has meant no more sniggering from onlookers when this happens. (I had to endure this a few times in the 10 weeks before I got the cover, and I can brave it, but it makes going out offputting and stopped feeding being a happy experience). The bfing cover is great in hot weather because air can circulate beneath the cover much more freely than under a pashmina, so I know my baby is happier. He likes to look up at me, I like to look down at him; it's as though we've got our own private space together. The cover is light, portable, and doubles as an excellent shade for his pram, as the wired opening means it stays put once I fling it over the pram hood. My baby loves staring at the design on the cover.

I can't recommend it enough.

I didn't have an opinion before reading this thread but it has got me thinking. I think that anything that helps bfing is great, but i hope these apron thingies don't lead to women who don't use them getting more looks and a 'why don't you use one of those apron thingies?' attitude. They're not for everybody it seems.

Since I started reading this thread I had a relative visit my house who pulled one out - really brightly coloured and obvious. I'm expecting my second, didn't have one for my first and I did a lot of bfing out and about. This time I'm planning on doing even more public bfing (because I think with a toddler to think about I don't think I'll be able to disappear for privacy quite the same) but I still don't think they're for me. Personally I would feel it was drawing more attention to myself.

eastegg - I suppose that is also what I am afraid of, that the more women who use them, the more pressure there will be on other women to use them.

I understand that many women use them because they want to cover up due to shyness and wanting to maintain their own privacy, and I don't have a problem with that. What concerns me more is that women use them not just because they want to cover themselves up, but they think that all women should cover themselves up when bfing, as expressed by Ladyofthemanor:

'I think there's something untoward, for me and my social grouping, about tweaking nipples while sat in a restaurant/public bench. If I saw it happening I'd think it to be a tad inappropriate, hence I covered up.'

She is using a cover because she thinks some aspects of bfing are inappropriate, not just for her, but for all women.

My friend has one and tbh it does attract attention a bit as when she gets it out and starts putting it on people look at her to see what she is doing. But at least she isn't flashing her tits at everyone like I used to

I promised myself I wouldn't come back to this thread, because it made me so angry and upset, but I can't stop thinking about it. Stupid old me getting so worked up over something on an internet forum, but I just don't feel I can leave it.

I am not ashamed of breastfeeding. I am so, so happy and proud of myself. I gave a general reply last time but I'm going to give a personal one this time. Before my baby was born, I wanted a birth with as little intervention as possible and skin to skin contact afterwards, and to breastfeed straight away. Unfortunately things didn't quite work out as planned and we both nearly died, resulting in an emergency CS, resuscitation for DD, massive bleed and then general anaesthetic for me. DD seemed to recover well, though it was a few hours before we finally got that skin to skin contact and we began breastfeeding, which was wonderful and lovely and just the best thing. Then DD began fitting and we entered into a nightmare SCBU world where she was fed by a tube as they had to limit her fluids for a while to make sure she didn't have fluid on the brain. It was really hard to establish breastfeeding again, but we did.
Then when I got home I had a really unexpected reactions to breastfeeding around my stepchildren. I don't want to go into it too much - I love my stepkids and they weren't bothered by it - quite the opposite, they had seen their mum feed her baby by her new partner. They were a bit in my face, in fact. And I struggled to cope with it as I was feeling totally traumatised by the birth and in desperate need of a bit of space to bond with my baby. But I had to cope with it - and after another afternoon of hiding upstairs feeling miserable and lonely I came across one of these covers online, bought it, it arrived and suddenly I felt able to feed downstairs with everyone there. I had no idea I would feel like that, and it probably makes me a shallow, awful person, but all I can say is that I was in turmoil and it helped.
When it came to going out I discovered I wanted to use the cover then too. It helped me feel confident in breastfeeding. And I soon realised that people knew what I was doing - I was getting lots of (really, really positive) comments from older women about the cover - but I didn't mind, not at all. It helped me feel like I could do it in public when I was still struggling to get it right. I suspect some of my issues with trying to do it in public stem from anxiety linked to previous sexual abuse, I'm not sure - I didn't analyse it too much. All I know is that I was worried about it and then I used the cover and now I'm not. I don't use it at baby groups, or in front of my NCT friends, and sometimes I don't use it in other public places either as I am now much more confident. Sometimes I do, though. And it's handy now DD likes to look around at what's going on.
Those of you asking why don't you use a muslin instead - I don't get this? Is it because you haven't bought a special piece of breastfeeding kit? Because unless you wove that muslin yourself you bought that too. So what if I use a bit of fabric with a handy thing to stop it falling off and another handy thing that means I can see to check my babies latch?
What I do know is that I am not to blame for the low rates of breastfeeding in this country. I AM breastfeeding. In fact, my best friend (now 5 months pregnant) told me that she was so anxious about breastfeeding in public that she hadn't thought she was going to try it but that she would now as she knew she could use a cover if she wanted to. Some people have been quite direct about it, some people have merely inferred it, but I am not taking responsibility for the low rates of breastfeeding in this country. Or, perhaps I will, if you take some responsibility too for scaring people off with your sanctimonious attitude.
Right, sorry for the rant, I'm off now and I'm definitely not looking at this thread again.