what do you think when you see someone using a bfing cover?

[reastie]

Like one of those bebe au lait style ones. Put a thread on here recently saying I was a bit about bfing in public, and, following on from some advice here I've got a bebe au lait cover thingy which arrived yesterday. Thing is, I almost feel like I'm making a deal about flashing the fact I'm bfing while using it - a bit like 'look at me, i'm bfing, yes, bfing, trying to disguise it but everyone can see it, i'm bfing'. Tried it at home and DH says since the material is jazzy (I like the pattern though ) it sort of attracts attention to what I'm doing. I feel a bit about what people think when they see people using one as I feel a bit like I might get more odd looks by using one than not using one, but don't want to feed without one and flash myself publically (lots of my tops open at the top and I'm a mahossive 38I so alot of flesh on show).

I don't like them because they're telling mothers they need to be worn (doesn't sell many if they say you don't need one) and I think they draw far more attention to what you're doing than if you're not using one. However I do feel it's personal choice and it's better that a mother is using one than screwing up her supply by bottle (whatever is in it) feeding when out.

Following on from the cost of breastfeeding thread I think this is just another way to get money out of something that is essentially free.

I used a Bebe au Lait cover when I first starting BFing in public. DD was only 6lbs when born and my boobs had expanded to gigantic proportions , DD also tended to pop on/off while feeding too. I felt happier with people seeing the fabric than getting a flash of boob or nipple while drinking their latte in Starbucks!

I tried a muslin but I needed to see DD to latch her on - we were so rubbish at BFing to start with that I'm surprised we stuck at it. For me, the Bebe au Lait was an expensive but really useful item for a few months. I stopped using it when I felt more confident and DD got bigger so hid more of me too. You can then use it as a shade on the buggy.

Not that I would recommend that everyone buy one. Just that for me, it was great - I needed something to cover us up but also that I could see DD to latch her on (repeatedly!!)

I loved my nursing cover. I didn't feel like I NEEDED to use it, but it kept me calmer whilst feeding colicy DD who came on and off a lot. When she got a bit bigger it kept it nice and dark and quiet even in a public place, so she got less distracted and didn't freak out in the middle of a feed. I did have a very jazzy fabric though, and I think next time round I'll buy a plainer one. Unlike a muslin I like the fact that it is completely covered but won't fall off, and I could check her (generally rather crappy) latch easily. If it makes feeding in public easier for you then go for it!

I can understand why people might find one of these useful-if the baby is ona nd off a lot or if t takes ages to latch on. I suppose my concern is that for somebody who's really shy about feeding in public, using one might actually draw more eyes simply because it's unusual. So if you don;t mind being looked at but do mind anyone getting a glimpse of naked flesh then they are a good idea. If you really don't want to be noticed or looked at al all they you're probably better off sitting in a quiet corner and just feeding. Most people are too busy about their own business to notice. a woman sitting cuddling a baby. They might notice - and take a second look at - a woman swathed in Pop Art fabric with a mysterious wriggly lump in it. Particularly if the woman has the manic smile all the models in the advertisement seem to have!

In answer to the OP, what do I think when I see someone using a cover? Initially, great that they are BF but sad that they feel they need to use a cover. Also, it does prevent those wonderful moments of eye contact with your baby as you gaze lovingly down. Those moments were so precious and I used to find helped with my let down.
However, if it helps someone to BF then they should use it.

I always used either BF tops or the pull down vest, pull up t-shirt method. After the first few occassions I actually got suprisingly confident about BF in public. It was what DS needed and was better than allowing him to cry. If anyone had a problem with it, it was their problem.

Well done all of you that could find bf tops that fit you, that didn't expose your flesh and could just pop your baby in and off looking like you were just cuddling them in the corner. Well done if you could just use a muslin/scarf/pashmina - trust me I tried and tried but couldn't get it to stay in place and see what I was doing.

I was obviously shit at breastfeeding, as I could only do it in the rugby ball position and had to not only use my cover, but also carry a cushion around me with for 6 months in order to ebf my dd. I also needed two hands, ine for dd and one for my breast. I know that people knew what I was doing below the cover. I was proud to breastfeed. my baby was not too hot, I was perfectly capable of knowing if she was too hot or not thank you.

I have actually been really upset by this thread and think I may not read it anymore. I am sorry for making so many of you feel sad for me or the baby or whatever. I feel stupid for thinking people would be pleased to see a woman bfing and should I be lucky enough to have a second child I will of course remember all these comments should I be using my cover out so now will feel like a complete failure, rather than just half of one next time.

I have such squirty boobs that DD comes on and off a lot and when off, well, watch out fellow coffee drinkers, you're about to get extra milk in your cappuccino . I use my lovely homemade feeding apron to contain boob, baby, milk and modesty. It makes me feel comfortable. The boning around the neck allows you to see what's going on, and the strap prevents your toddler from running off with it! And anyone who wants to admire my pretty butterfly fabric may do so.

Perhap's I need to embroider a defensive explanation on it

I'm happy. Baby's happy.

instructions on making your own

MrsHerculePoirot please please do not feel a failure for using your nursing apron (we need to come up with a better name for them). Be proud that you've found a solution that works for you and enables you to feed your baby, keep you socially active and make you happy. Sod everything else.

msbossy-well said.I bf my 3 ds's fully for nrly a yr with wait for it-NIPPLE SHIELDS obv hv and female relatives disapproved but everytime i tried again without i got sore again.I ended up not varing cos i still ebf all of them,i think if you want to bf then what ever way you find works then thats your choice.

caring not varing.

hotcross - bfing covers are designed so you can see down them and look at the baby, as opposed to covering them with a muslin/pashmina. The muslin/pashmina method would never have worked for me as I needed to see the baby to latch him on at first.

hercule I know how you feel (as OP) I feel a bit :( at the thought of using mine now but I know I shouldn't. ledkr is right - just the fact we are managing bfing is great no matter how we can do it. I've got a bfing top on today (under my dress) but can't use it without getting my entire darn boob out which somewhat defeats the point I feel . I also always need 2 hands unless I'm doing it on the bed at home where I use one hand to hold boob and the other to mn read very complex books on the theory of relativiety and such like . I hoestly don'ts ee how people do it one handed and feel really that they can. I'm not sure if it's due to my massive boobs or just dd being odd but I definately need 2 hands. It's hard to make sure a pashmina etc gets and stays in the right position when you're hands arn't free isn't it?

Oh reastie, you should be proud you're feeding your baby and if you need a cover to do it then why not? Opinions on MN are always going to be more extreme than in real life. If you asked everyone in a Starbucks what they thought of you using a cover, beyond wondering what it is I doubt any of them would give a fuck. They're certainly unlikely to have opinions about modesty/societal expectations/breastfeeding cross-culturally

With ds1 he was my first and I had a bit of a tricky time breast feeding. I used a breast feeding cape merely because I have flat nipples and had to do a fair bit of manoeuvring and while I don't think women should be made to feel like they "have" to cover up-I personally didn't want to tweak my nipples in public...

Have established how to juggle a pashmina now and am pregnant with dc2 so will see how that goes...!

Apologies - I didn't realise they were designed so that the mother could see down them. The only one I've seen was one a friend was using a couple of weeks ago and there's no way she could see down that one but I think it may have been a piece of material she had adapted herself.

Mine had like a bra bone neck creating a semi circle so you can peer down at the baby and the breast.

I would be far more embarrassed about using one of those hideous, hideous covers than exposing a bit of boob

I think there's something untoward, for me and my social grouping, about tweaking nipples while sat in a restaurant/public bench. If I saw it happening I'd think it to be a tad inappropriate, hence I covered up.

Where I live (nice little town near Mahattan in New Jersey, USA) all the women BF'd at least a bit, most to 6 months, and all of them, all, all, all, use these. So nyer to all who think they're "drawing attention" or whatever. One friend put it this way "I don't care about people knowing I'm breastfeeding, I care about people seeing my breasts." - The covers do that for you.

I used one for the first few months, it helped me get over my jitters about feeding DS in public, and gave me hands free to hold the boob, hold the baby, AND be able to look down and gaze adoringly at him. Once he was able to latch himself on, I used breastfeeding tops (cheap and easy to get here) instead. Now (10 months) he rolls on and off and cranes his neck to get a good look at the world while feeding, and it's such a bloody faff that I don't feed him out and about. It's not cos I'm very shy/modest, in fact I'm not. But it did help a great deal to have a cosy little cave for DS when we were both so new at breastfeeding, and he'd often drop off under the cover, cheek-to-boob, then lie there asleep while I finished my cake spent time with my friends in the cafes. So the covers got him extra skin-to-skin and me extra cake time to relax.

For the last 3 months he's practically strangled me with anything I used to get in the way of him noseying around, so it's moot - but they were useful and ubiquitous when I was a new mum, and I'm glad I had one (black with white dots, three quid) as an option.

why dont you use a muslim to cover up if you need to?
most of the times i didnt use anything though.

Do you mean a muslin cloth? Or do you mean a person of Islamic faith, because I can't see them going for it...

If you use a muslin (or indeed a muslim) then how can you see the baby to latch them on? Bit fiddly.

If a woman feel she needs a breast cover then let her use it, especially if it gives her confidence to venture outside with her baby which a lot of breastfeeding mums I know of are scared to do. Luckily I have never needed to use a cover, I just feed my baby whenever and wherever he needs it and I have never ever been looked at strangely or been asked to move.
You should never be scared to breastfeed in public, that's what breasts are there for...your childs food.

I haven't read the whole thread,but I liked my bebe au lait cover.It stayed in place better than a shawl and I could look down and talk to dd easily.Anyone looking at me would have thought it was just a patterned top. I am a big cup size and I also tended to wear things that unbuttoned down the front,a cover was easier than a load of new clothes.Also some places I would be quite happy to get my whole breast out and just feed,but we were living in central London and in really busy places I felt happier having a bit of coverage.It made me more relaxed about feeding anywhere,so in my mind it was a good thing.DD has just turned 4 and is still bf,although only at bedtime and when she wakes.In my mind anything that helps women feed is a good thing,and although in an ideal world we would all feel happy to bf anywhere,in real life I did feel self-conscious and awkward some of the time.