First time mum - breast feeding advice

[Katherine01]

Hello, Im going to be a first time mum in June and I want to give breast feeding a try. The only thing is, I am very shy and wouldnt feel comfortable breast feeding in public. Is it easy to mix breast feeding and bottle feeding? If I breast fed at home, can I then use formula when im out and about (which wouldnt be very often I dont think) or is it better to express milk?
Also how long do you normally breast feed for? I was going to breast feed for the first 6 months. Many thanks :)

Don't strike out bfing in public yet. I was nervous at first but am now super confident and I've got so good at using layered tops or nursing tops that no-one can see a thing usually (and I can cover up with a scarf or cardi if DD is likely to be pulling off a lot). DH has taken loads of photos of me bfing when out and you really can't see any skin.

Using formula occasionally can mess with your supply and can give your LO indigestion, especially as they wouldn't get used to it. You would also be very limited at how long you could go out, because even if you had enough bottles and formula or ebm, you would get uncomfortably full.

Oh and DD is now 18 weeks and we're still going strong. Had a very rocky start, but she's been ebf since about a month old. I'm hoping to make it to at least 1 year old now so we don't have to use formula again.

Hello Katherine

Lots more experienced people than I will be along to answer your questions but, just to give you an idea of how it can work, I do mix feed but give DD a bottle of formula in the evening. I think the issue will be giving different amounts of formula and breastmilk on a day to day basis, as this could affect your supply. I believe the current advice is that you can express as soon as breastfeeding is well established (4-6 weeks in?) and this may be an option that prevents supply issues for you?

I was worried about feeding in public but, with a couple of big pashminas/scarves, I've found it easy peasy and much less hassle than bottles. With a bit of practice at home, you can feed with no-one else having a clue that you're feeding. A big shawl and paying attention if your baby is a grabber and puller, will avoid exposure and there are often parent rooms you can use in shopping centres etc to BF in relative privacy.

In terms of how long to BF for, again better experts than me can advise but the best advice I got (from MN natch!) was to BF for today, especially in the early weeks when it can be a bit tough, and leave decisions on how long to BF for later. I'm still BFing at 5 months and haven't made a decision on when to give up, it's working for us right now and so we're carrying on until it feels otherwise.

Best of luck!

Just breastfeed until one or other of you wants to stop! You don't need to put a time limit on it.

The recommendation is to breastfeed (or use a breastmilk substitute) for 12 months, then you can just give cow's milk. The World Health Organisation recommends breastfeeding for 2 years and beyond, for as long as you both want to. I don't think there's a "normal", whether it's 3 weeks/months/years just do what works for you and your baby.

For a start you don't need to worry about rushing out of the house as soon as you've had a baby, stay in your pj's and rest for a week or two so you can get the hang of bf. Don't let too many people visit and don't lift a finger.

I was a bit of a wimp when I first fed out of the house, think I sat on a park bench somewhere quiet so I could get used to it. Lots of people don't like the rooms that shops provide for breastfeeding but as I wasn't going to spend money on a cup of tea (that I couldn't drink as I was holding the baby) I was happy to sit in them for a little while when I was bf. We only made it to 4 months then I combined bf, expressing and forumla for a couple of months.

I found nursing vests (H&M or the Jojomaman bebe catalogue) much comfier than nursing bra's. I was able to wear a normal top over them and lift it up to feed, the vest kept my tummy warm too .

Combining bf and formula is a PITA as it might mess with your supply. and you end up with bottles and sterlising equipment. If bf is going well then don't make life harder for yourself.

good luck katherine www.kellymom.com a great website

have numbers of people to call if you need to when your LO is born.

get help quickly if you need it, don't wait for things to get worse

find out where your local bf support group is

get to the 6 week mark before you introduce expressing/formula to establish a good supply

Katherine

Best of luck for the birth.

Tip one - as soon as the baby is born, basically just take your top off, close the curtains and hold baby on your chest near your boobs permanently! I had this advice from a second-timer in the bed next to mine which was invaluable - I thought DD was "supposed" to lie in her little plastic cot.

Tip two - I know you feel shy about feeding in public. I did too. But my advice would be to have a little think about whether, in the fulness of time once you feel you are getting the hang of it a bit, you wouldn't give it a try. The benefits of being able to feed out and about are ENORMOUS. You just don't have any faff or worry and it gives you real freedom which I think also helps you enjoy the time and your mental health!

You really can do it discreetly just by tucking the corner of a muslin under your bra strap and draping muslin over baby.

The other thing is once you have gone through the indignities of labour and birth and you are feeding regularly, you are likely to feel less shy about it! Its amazing how quickly you get to just wapping your boobs out wherever! So I advise you to keep an open mind. Even if you don't want to feed in a cafe, you will discover "good" shops in your town which have good baby facilities. Eg I often fed in our John Lewis which had an exclusive breastfeeding room. I think being free to get out and about and meet friends with their babies is very very important.

Re length of time you feed for - see how it goes and pans out.

Hi Katherine

1. Google Dr Suzanne Colson's site about biological nurturing.

1. Next time you go anywhere where there are lots of people- a pub, restaurant, park, cafe for eg. - have a look around and see how many women you spot breastfeeding. Probably you won't see many. Now that is either because there are many actually doing it, or you just can't see any boobs on show! Most people are so busy going about there own lives, that they don't notice anyone doing something that just looks giving the baby a cuddle.

1. One of the real advantages of bfing is that you can just go out and feed anywhere- and it's more than just a hunger satisfier- you can comfort, reassure and send a baby to sleep by breastfeeding them. Most women find that once the baby is born, they feel they have a right to bfeed their child anywhere they need feeding.

1. Regards duration of feeding- I wanted to get to the year mark as after the inital hard weeks, I felt I deserved to reap the benefits of easy feeding in the later months. I'm also very lazy and the ability to feed a baby in the middle of the night just by rolling over and offering a boob was a lifesaver honestly.

18 months on and DS is still enjoying two feeds a day.

Hope things go well and stay in touch - ask away with any questions.

Katherine, you've had great advice here. I would add that if you can go along to your local bf support group before your baby arrives and have a chat with some experienced bf mums that could be really useful and reassuring for you.

Katherine congratulations on your PG and there is some great advice on here already.

As you don't think you will be going out much I thought you might like to have a read of this book before LO arrives.

Lots of people mix-feed with success, so please don't let the thought of bfing in public put you off bfing altogether. Agree with Japhrimel though that if you are giving a bottle whilst out, you may become uncomfortably full.

Also agree with crikeybadger too, if you look you will probably notice lots of mums bfing, its just that usually you don't notice as they aren't showing anything. In fact, most people will assume they are just cuddling their baby.

When LO arrives how about going along to your local NCT, LLL, Bfing Suport Group or Baby Cafe? Nobody will bat an eyelid if you bf there and you will probably get a cuppa and some adult conversation. In fact these are great places to go before LO arrives too. Have you got the details of you local ones?

Hope it all goes well for you and keep posting your questions

and you may find this link on Kellymom. Its called Information is Your Ally in preparing to breastfeed:
10 Tips for Success

It has some great tips including a list of books they suggest you avoid.

Breastfeeding when out and about doesn't necessarily mean having to do it in public.

More and more, there are nice rooms that you can go in in shops and restaurants.
My shop has a lovely room for mums to breastfeed if they want- it's got a comfy chair, low lighting, and magazines to read.
If you haven't got anything like that near where you live, then you should ask - especially if there are loads of places that "cater" for mums.

www.vertbaudet.co.uk/breastfeeding-tunic-dark-lilac.htm?ProductId=017003126&FiltreCouleur=6769&t=6vertbaudet does a range of tops that are good for BFing - they have hidden flaps and gaps, so that you can feed without having to show your boobs off.

I was a bit nervous about feeding in public as well. However, I soon realised that a screaming baby was much more embarrassing than the slim chance that someone might catch a glimpse of my nipple. I have now fed just about everywhere, on trains, in parks, cafes, waiting rooms, etc.

What helped me was going out with fellow new mums. If you're with a group of women who are also breastfeeding you feel much less self conscious.

Katherine - welcome from a fellow due in Juner! We have a thread in Antenatal clubs :)

I have a DS who is now 3.3, when I thought about bfing when I was pg with him the thought of bfing in public would have had me screaming for the hills
However I have fed him here there and everywhere, I think I lost all dignity and sense of modesty in labour

What helped me as well was going to bfing & bumps and babies group while still pregnant, I had never really seen bfing up close and personal and it was a real eye opener. The mums were happy to offer advice and I was relieved to see that there wasn't much to see So I stopped worrying about inadvertently flashing my boobs! Going to the groups when ds arrived helped, plus going out about with other pg mums as well are things I found helpful.

Good luck with your baby

Thank you for your comments everyone, you have all been very helpful :)

Hey Katherine

I was like you very nervous about feeding in public, but I used a baby au lait nursing shield.

I also bought bump bands to wear under a normal tee to keep tummy warm and covered up. You can get these in New Look.

These were my best baby related purchases.

I cannot recommend the experience of breastfeeding highly enough. I have just stopped feeding my dd (15 months) and I am going to miss it (did not expect to feel that way!)

IT is hard at the beginning but persevere and seek out help.

Good luck!!

Get a scarf or poncho. You can be very discreet about feeding in public. I was nervous at first, but feel fine about it now providing i've got my trusty scarf with me! I keep it in the baby change bag so i never forget it.

You can also plan a little depending on where you're going. My Tesco store has proper mother/ baby rooms with a chair for BFing so you'll never be caught short out shopping. And look for family friendly pubs/ restaurants who either have the same facilities or you can find a secluded corner booth to BF in relative peace and quiet. I've found that there is rarely anywhere so busy that you can't hide somewhere and feed discreetly.

Good luck, it's a wonderful experience if you are able to stick with it

Congratulations Katherine :)

I was nervous too. Now, I breastfeed everywhere.
I looked at myself in the mirror when breastfeeding and all I saw was my baby's head! To be honest, I showed more cleavage when I was out clubbing
Agree with other posters about vests and another top.

I did a little mixed feeding at the start ( with formula) but now exclusively breastfeed as it's much easier.

Good luck :)

I breastfed in the shoe department at M and S yesterday - no men and a place to sit!

Agree with the other posters, my baby is now 4 weeks old, prior to giving birth I bought formula and bottles because I was adamant I wouldn't breastfeed in public. After having him I gave formula a few times but it upset his tummy. I was going to express but decided to try and feed in public. First time was terrifying, went to a quiet cafe with dh for support and to be on nipple alert, but it was fine, and I'm now confident to feed wherever and whenever ds needs it!

1st time round i had no expectations or worries - i just knew i was going to bf for at least 6months. every time we hit problems i just assumed it was normal and stuck with it. i trusted that my body would produce what my baby needed when he needed it, and it did. if you worry about supply then just let baby feed as often as possible - it'll take 2 or 3 days for your body to adjust but baby will be fine. i fed on demand and didn't know about growth spurts 1st time round but it really helped me feel prepared to know when they were due 2nd and 3rd time. i expressed to feed when we were out with groups of people i would feel uncomfortable feeding in front of then after a few months it became easier to just feed in public. once i'd done it a few times it was no problem at all.

there are still times i feel uncomfortable with dc3 but you just have to plan the day, top up a feed before you go out and find a quiet spot if you think baby may need a feed. if all else fails i go sit in the car for some peace and quiet to feed.

Don't write off bfeeding in the car either. If you plan a bit, you can feed on arrival in car park/woods/swimming pool etc or feed when you leave and then baby is sleeping/content whilst you go about your shopping/activities.

Way better than feeding in the loo/in public if you don't feel comfy.

I last bf my ds 5 years ago and even then, before the bf campaigns promoted feeding in public, I was never told/asked to leave/stop feeding and so fed both dcs very discreetly in cafes/cinema/parks/restaurants/tesco cafe etc.

Trust me - if the baby is screaming and you need to feed, generally, you won't worry about being too shy - you'll simply find somewhere comfy (ish) and discreet to feed.

In shopping centres, there are usually benches where you can pop a cloth over your shoulder and feed away whilst munching on a sandwich etc.

Gets a bit more tricky if shopping on your own with a toddler in tow but sure you'll be fine.

Don't think me rude, but your OP sounds a little bit like wifey01 and a journalistic style???

I am excruciatingly shy about bf in public, but still exclusively bf both my DC for 9 months each. I got around it, planned my time well, and where necessary bf in cupboards and loos, bathroom floors and cars. I realise this doesn't suit everyone, but it worked for me.

Tip 1: If it hurts the latch is wrong - take the baby off by breaking the suction with your finger in the side of baby's mouth. Put baby back on and keep trying until it doesn't hurt.

2: Get some nipple cream. You'll need it for the first week or two. You only need a tiny amount so any you have left makes good, safe lip balm for baby if they have chapped lips (or for you if the lip salve is missing).

3: Feeding in public - wear 2 tops. One breastfeeding vest top with a looser top over it. That way your tummy remains covered by the first top, but the over top lifts up and covers the top of the boob so you feel less exposed. Muslin cloths can also be used to cover up. Honestly, people don't notice. I was feeding dd round dh's mate's house - about 10 blokes in the room playing xbox (so not really looking at me!). I sat chatting and feeding dd (dh had cleverly sat in front of me while I latched on). dh's mate asked for a cuddle with dd and I had to ask him to wait a minute as I was bfing. All the blokes turned and were shocked that they hadn't noticed a woman getting her boob out. They were very impressed (and a bit disappointed )