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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

First time mum - breast feeding advice

120 replies

Katherine01 · 15/04/2011 11:53

Hello, Im going to be a first time mum in June and I want to give breast feeding a try. The only thing is, I am very shy and wouldnt feel comfortable breast feeding in public. Is it easy to mix breast feeding and bottle feeding? If I breast fed at home, can I then use formula when im out and about (which wouldnt be very often I dont think) or is it better to express milk?
Also how long do you normally breast feed for? I was going to breast feed for the first 6 months. Many thanks :)

OP posts:

Ba8y1 · 19/04/2011 13:46

I agree with you sherbertpips!

Not a huge fan of feeding on demand as my little one never demanded in the early days and my friend's baby ended up with low glucose levels and dehydration as he never demanded either. I guess it depends on the baby as to how well it works.

I 'force fed' 3 hourly in the early days and now at 9 weeks he is nearly at 4 hourly feeds (again rarely demanding) and has slept through the night (6-7 hours) since he was 3 weeks old. With my little one if I can get enough food in him during the day I found he naturally cut out his night feed quite early and his weight gain has been perfect (was worried about the not waking in the night at first! )

In the second week I had one day of cluster feeding - he fed from 5pm to 4am continually (fed, used me as a dummy!!) but he just got more and more upset as I felt my boobs got emptier and emptier. I decided to express in the mornings when I had much more milk than needed and use this to top up his feed at 5pm when I had very little milk - haven't had a cluster feed since. For me cluster feeding resulted in a tired, frustrated baby and mum and as a result reduced my supply so I prefer expressing and topping him up - but think all this is personal choice and it may not work for you. Another plus is the getting used to a bottle - I started in the 2nd week and never had nipple confusion.

Still adjusting to the feeding in public thing, but it is so much easier than faffing with a bottle would be for me!

As an aside I wish I'd been prepared for the pain in the first 2 weeks as the nipples adjusted (and my latch got better) - a friend said if you can get through the first 2 weeks it gets so so much easier and I agree. Get a good nipple cream. Ditto again after 6 weeks it suddenly gets easier again so don't give up - Breastfeeding can be really hard to establish, but it is the best feeling in the world when it works! I intend to fully bf until 6 mths when I go back to work - then we'll have to see what happens with weaning etc..

Anyway sorry for rambling - wishing you lots of luck!

harverina · 19/04/2011 15:35

ba8y1 agree that demand or cue feeding does not work when a very young baby is not demanding to be fed, but this is entirely different to scheduling feeds when a baby is wanting in the breast.

Very few adults would go 3-4 hours without any food or drink so why would babies with tiny tummies be any different?

scheme a baby cannot use you as a dummy...a dummy is trying replicate our nipples because babies instinctively want to suck a lot. I think my dd started to get into a feeding pattern around 8 weeks when she would feed every 2-2.5 hours. She still cluster fed in the evenings though. hth.

schmee · 19/04/2011 16:06

harverina - it's just a way of putting it (reiterating something a previous poster said). I've apologised for the phraseology - but to be honest people leaping on the way someone phrases something is a bit odd... and deeply patronising.

Still, thanks for the info - suggests to me that bf isn't going to work with this baby.

RitaMorgan · 19/04/2011 17:14

The phrase grates on people because it suggests by comforting your baby you are doing something wrong. I can't be used as a dummy because I'm the real thing - when I comfort my baby I'm behaving like a mother, not like a piece of nipple shaped latex

schmee · 19/04/2011 17:20

I know - I get it. I was reiterating what another poster said and I've retracted it already. Blimey - is the sun getting to everyone today?

mmmcookies · 19/04/2011 17:28

Hi there, I'm not due until October so no experience yet, but I met a lady on a plane with a 'nursing shawl', it clipped around her neck and covered her and her baby really well. I was impressed, I found some on Amazon (not the most attractive but who cares) or just google 'nursing shawl'. Good luck!

RitaMorgan · 19/04/2011 17:32

Schmee I'm just not sure what you were asking - if you want to schedule your baby's feeds and not allow comfort feeding then no one will stop you. If you want to know if babies grow out of ever wanting to comfort feed, then probably not. But feeds do get less frequent as babies get older.

schmee · 19/04/2011 17:53

I don't want to hijack the thread, but my question was (as I've mentioned a couple of times above), when do people's babies tend to find themselves on a bit more of a routine.

When I had my boys the approach recommended was to feed around once every three to four hours, and to make sure your baby wasn't snacking or "using you as a dummy". These days the recommended approach seems to be different - feed completely on demand, don't worry if you baby isn't taking in milk at "feeds" as they serve a nurturing purpose and will also help you to increase your supply.

I genuinely would like to know more about the second approach and how it works in practice, particularly if you have older children. But it's not my thread so I probably shouldn't have asked the question.

Bit galling though when you've thoroughly apologised for innocently repeating an apparently inflammatory expression to have two more people jump on it.

And I know that no-one will stop me from scheduling my baby's feeds - that's a bit of a silly thing to say. I'm just, as I have said a couple of times, trying to find out about different approaches so I can make the best decision for our family.

harverina · 19/04/2011 18:25

schmee sorry if you felt I was patronisng you, was just disagreeing with the concept of being used as a dummy, which is the phrase you used in your question. I can see nothing wrong with the replies you have had. As ritamorgan says, for as long as babies breastfeed they are likely to go to the breast for comfort. The frequency of feeding does decrease over time, babies learn to self settle and do eventually find other comforts. My dd is 12 months and will generally feed morning and bedtime. But this week she got her jags and has been under the weather and has fed more, probably for comfort more than nutrition. Imo its the best thing about breastfeeding.

crikeybadger · 19/04/2011 19:01

"suggests to me that bf isn't going to work with this baby."

I wouldn't write off bfing your next baby just because of a few posts on a discussion board schmee.

IME, some babies need alot of comforting and being near their mummies when they are first born, others will pretty much do the routine thing from early on. That's not because of anything their parents are doing, that's just the type of baby they are.

Feeding on cue, or instinctively can work with older children- it's easy to sit and read to other children or do a jigsaw with them whilst you are bfing the other one. IMO it must be easier in a way because surely you need two hands for bottle feeding and only one for bfing (once you've got it sussed admittedly)

Or you can put the baby in a sling and feed them whilst you are doing other things. I had a great afternoon at the Sealife Centre with my other two DSs whilst I fed DS3 in the sling.

You're right though, the recommended approach has changed in the last few years, but I still know some people who do the scheduled feeding thing as they feel the routine is better for them as well as for their baby.

Each to their own I guess.

schmee · 19/04/2011 19:20

You sound fab and amazing at breastfeeding. And you even know all about breastfeeding twins (from another thread). You're wonderful.

crikeybadger · 19/04/2011 19:31

Actually no, schmee- I gave you one example of how I coped with cue feeding whilst having other children. You know nothing about what else has happened whilst I've breastfed my three boys.

I never claimed to know about breastfeeding twins. I cited Mars' experience and evidence that is well researched that lack of sleep does not affect supply.

I was trying to answer your question, I wish I hadn't bothered now.

harverina · 19/04/2011 19:39

schmee, all people have done is answer your questions based on their experience/knowledge. The only person "jumping on" what other people have said is you.

schmee · 19/04/2011 19:49

The nonsense you get on here really puts me off breastfeeding again though. Conflicting advice, people stating the outright nonsense as fact (e.g. it's as easy to feed three as it is one), people jumping on people for their phraseology, people telling their stories about how they breastfeed whilst weaving a lentil blanket/caring for orphans/performing advanced yoga. People asking for ff and getting told to bf. And so on, and so on.

I know there are some people who give good balanced advice on here, but for the most part it makes me think that the whole bf thing is just way too contentious.

I will try to bf my baby, but I think I'm going to give myself a huge mumsnet detox beforehand because the way people respond on here is making my ready to lactate boobs dry up as we speak.

RitaMorgan · 19/04/2011 19:54

If you base your parenting decisions on posts on a message board, then maybe you do need a break.

schmee · 19/04/2011 19:56

I actually came here because I'm genuinely interested in trying to find a better way this time. More fool me. Right I'm off.

crikeybadger · 19/04/2011 20:22

Nothing contentious about breastfeeding - it's just a way of feeding a baby.

Must go- I've got to go harvest my lentils so I can knit myself a sling. (So I can breastfeed my baby whilst in headstand obviously)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM.

harverina · 19/04/2011 20:37

Me too crikeybadger! I actually find it easier to feed my quads while standing on my head!

Op, sorry your thread took a turn for the worst, hope you found the rest of it helpful :)

domesticungoddess · 19/04/2011 21:12

I'm still BF at 6 months and my only advice is go with the flow. My dd went through cluster feeding, refusing to feed during the day, biting but we have stuck with it and I'm glad. I wish I had just enjoyed the first month more when all she wanted to do was feed. Sit back enjoy your baby and relax. It is an amazing feeling. She is still up at least twice in the night for a feed and I treasure these times together.

Good luck.

Cosmosis · 20/04/2011 09:55

You've had some fab advice on this thread. Re feeding your baby in public, most people would far rather you fed it than let it scream! In 7.5m of bfing I have only ever had positive comments. I was at a wedding last month and every time he was feeding, the bloke sitting next to me just though he was asleep, so they really don't notice.

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