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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Should I really feel bad if I don't want to breastfeed ??...................................................

121 replies

bubsylocket · 19/09/2005 10:12

I am 14 weeks pg today and have had the meeting with MW who insists that I breastfeed !!! I didn't with my DD1 and really enjoyed the fact that DH could help out but now I am having second thoughts about breastfeeding - should I feel bad if I don't ????

OP posts:

dinosaur · 19/09/2005 10:14

You shouldn't feel bad if you don't, but why not give it a go anyway?

Once breastfeeding is established(about six weeks) you can express adn DH can give the baby a bottle of expressed milk.

Breastfeeding is so easy compared to bottles - no sterilising, boiling water, measuring out feeds etc etc. And it's much easier to go out with baby, no bottles to lug along!

WigWamBam · 19/09/2005 10:15

No, you shouldn't feel bad - no-one else has the right to tell you how you should feed your baby. They can point out all of the benefits to their heart's content, and I daresay you'll get a few posters who will do that here, but the decision is yours and yours alone, and not one that you should be made to feel guilty about.

Oh, and I should stick your hard hat on if I were you; these threads quite often end up getting very heated

auntymandy · 19/09/2005 10:15

YOu should do exactley what you want to do! Are you not comfortable breast feeding? What about mixed feeding so you have best of both worlds?
I liked the convenience of breastfeeding, but if its not for you then its not for you!

staceym11 · 19/09/2005 10:26

there is no reason anyone should make you feel bad for not breastfeeding, it is your perogative to choose whichever method of feed you like, this is your body and your baby, stick to your guns, sometimes midwives just dont understand!

SoupDragon · 19/09/2005 10:30

You shouldn't feel bad and no one can force you tobreastfeed - what are they going to do? Hold your baby onto your breast whilst it feeds???

I'm with dinosaur though - if you're having second thoughts then give it a go. If it works and you like it, great, if not nothing lost.

Guard · 19/09/2005 10:32

No enjoy your baby - cos they are sweet (even if a little demanding !!!!!!!!!)

Merlin · 19/09/2005 10:32

Do what makes YOU happy. I breastfed both DSs for 4 weeks and then expressed for about another 2 before going onto formula, but TBH didn't really enjoy it. I did it because I felt the babies should have the best start. Once they were on formula I felt so much better and was a happier Mummy which has got to be the best thing for your baby! Good Luck!

Angeliz · 19/09/2005 10:34

Don't feel bad

Enjoy your pregnancy and enjoy you baby. The midwife can't insist you do anything you don't want to and i'm sure you already know the benefits after already having a child and if you still don't want to, then that's your choice+

Pob71 · 19/09/2005 10:37

It is your decision, however if you are having thoughts about trying it then maybe you could think about why you dont want to and whether you are making an informed decision about it. Sometimes people dont want to do stuff because it is really unfamiliar to them. Like maybe your Mum didnt bf or anyone in your family or your friends, so bottles feel easier because they are more familiar.
You might try it and take to it like a duck to water or you might struggle in the early weeks and then be amazed at how easy and convenient it is once things settle down. Even if you only bf for 4 weeks it still has health benefits lasting for 14 years.

weesaidie · 19/09/2005 10:38

If you really don't want to then no of course not.

I do agree that there is no harm in giving it a go though. I found it so much easier for all the reasons dinosaur mentioned! But it is up to you.

fruitful · 19/09/2005 10:43

No, you shouldn't feel bad. Go find some other aspect of motherhood to feel guilty about!

Breastfeeding is not, in my experience, easier than bottlefeeding, and I've successfully done both. I like the convenience of bottlefeeding, myself.

Breastfeeding is better for the baby, if the mum is happy to do it. But I think babies probably benefit more from a happy mum than from breastmilk vs formula.

If you're going to bottlefeed, look at this thread . And buy some divided formula containers. There is no need to sterilise, heat bottles, get out of bed in the night, boil water...

Did you try breastfeeding last time? Its worth sticking the baby on the breast when its born and seeing how you feel. Every baby should get to do that at least once.

JoolsToo · 19/09/2005 11:00

gosh didn't realise that - I used to sterilise religiously! mind you dishwashers were definitely bottom of the shopping list when mine were babies

milward · 19/09/2005 11:01

No one can insist you bf - it's your choice. If you feel good about the choice you make then don't feel bad because it's different to someone elses way of doing things. If you want to give bf a go then fine and if you don't then feel good that you made the choice you wanted.

dinosaur · 19/09/2005 11:07

fruitful - how did you manage not to get out of bed at night?

And how do you mix formula without heating the water first?

RachD · 19/09/2005 11:18

Naughty midwife, for insisting - who does she think she is ?

I am pro breastfeeding, but really, this is ridiculous, that some MW should 'insist' and thus leave someone feeling bad about not doing it.

Gobbledigook · 19/09/2005 11:20

No midwife has ever insisted I do anything - I'd like to see one try

Do what's right for you, not anyone else.

Angeliz · 19/09/2005 11:22

dinosaur, you take up a flask of hot water and the little milk carrier and then mix the bottle when needed, stand in cup of boiling water (if you want it heated), and Bob's your uncle

dinosaur · 19/09/2005 11:24

Angeliz that's what I do, but was puzzled by fruitful saying there was no need to heat water?

auntymandy · 19/09/2005 12:27

how do you feel now bubsy?

frannyf · 19/09/2005 12:44

Agree with those who have said you might like to give it a try - at least you can then say "Well I've done it now, and it's not for me." However, as we all know, there is a whole lot more to being a mother than breastfeeding! Don't let an over-zealous midwife upset you (she probably meant well).

hunkermunker · 19/09/2005 13:16

Am shocked the midwife was so insistent!

I would say don't feel bad if you don't, but why not try it? You might like it - it can be hard to start with, but is often much easier in the long run.

If you start to breastfeed, you can stop and bottlefeed. But if you start to bottlefeed, it's far harder to change to breastfeeding if you decide you do want to do it.

Good luck!

fruitful · 19/09/2005 14:25

Ds has his milk at room temp. Measured bottle of water by the bed, measured formula in formula container. Reach out, grab them, tip one into the other, shake, stick in baby's mouth.

Actually I did boil a kettleful of water every morning for a month or so to start with, so I could make the feeds with cooled boiled water. Switched to tap water pretty quickly though.

Bubsy, tell your MW you want a homebirth. That'll take her mind off it. Or a waterbirth in your back garden. Because babies like trees. Insist on it.

fruitful · 19/09/2005 14:26

[no offence intended to those planning to give birth in their gardens; I've planned 2 homebirths myself]

(runs away before this gets going)

JoolsToo · 19/09/2005 14:27

ha, ha!

stitch · 19/09/2005 14:38

you should not feel bad. whatever decision you make. it will be best for you and baby.
having said that, i think you should breastfeed.

but dont feel bad if you dont.

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