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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

can't believe this conversation in the dr's surgery yesterday

253 replies

muslimah28 · 08/10/2010 22:34

little baby came in with his mummy for their 6 week post natal check. mummy is trying to wind baby in the waiting room.

another mummy with a c2 year old says to her 'i found with my son, just changing the formula helped'.

mummy to 6wk old replies, 'no i just use what i did for all 4 of mine, it can't be the formula.'

at no point did 2yr old's mummy say 'are you formula feeding', or 'how are you feeding him', there was just an assumption that she was formula feeding, and it turned out she was right.

i was just a bit shocked to see yet more proof of how much of a formula feeding culture we have here.

didn't want to add this to the other thread going on at the moment, its just way too long.........but interested in thoughts!!

OP posts:
Original poster
muslimah28 · 12/10/2010 22:10

pommedeterre:

I have seen people state that not giving colostrum is 'lazy' and that formula fed babies have fat, rubbery faces.

funny how this summary of views that have been read on MN does not strike up an emotional outburst of 'omg how dare you belittle my BF, i'm not solely trying to avoid a fat, rubbery face' but a summary of reasons why people FF that have been read on MN does....

OP posts:
amothersplaceisinthewrong · 12/10/2010 22:11

So we have a ff culture here? Why is this so often seen as so utterly terrible, akin to child slavery or child abuse.

Are babies in 21st century Brtiain REALLY at so much risk from being fed formula.

I can never understand why anyone gets so upset because other people are feeding their babies in a particular way. Everyone is free to make their own choices, those of others are not their concern. If BF were a religion, there are many on MN who would be bordering on fanatics.

wastingaway · 12/10/2010 22:16

amothersplace, a culture that discourages mothers from breastfeeding and doesn't support the ones who try is not good.

It's not fanatical, it's factual.

scottishmummy · 12/10/2010 22:17

ff is majority mode of feeding in uk,dont know if that equates to a formula feeding culture as such.

i see a wee baby and parent and i think ahhhh lovely.have no particular thoughts on feeding mode

if it had a big ole bottle irn bru id do a double take

wastingaway · 12/10/2010 22:25

I'm quite interested in this subject, (you might have gathered) so I probably would notice if baby was being fed one way or the other.

That's not a judgement of that particular mother though.

brettgirl2 · 12/10/2010 22:46

Wastingaway - we have a culture that tries to make people feel bad for ff and doesn't support Bf'ing. That is actually worse than what you suggest.

I suspect that the people on here who act like ff'ing is practically child abuse did not have MW threatening to readmit their exclusively bf 3 day old to special care due to weight loss. It doesn't do much for the old confidence. I kept her out of hospital by giving her formula.

Thankfully - to those who are currently in the same position please don't feel people in RL are judging you, they aren't. Because they are normal people who bfing happened to work out for.

Most people I knew Bfed.

wastingaway · 12/10/2010 22:55

Rock and a hard place brettgirl. Sad
It's easier to judge than to help unfortunately, so the authorities shout 'Breast is Best!' loudly and produce leaflets and pat themselves on the back that they are 'promoting' breastfeeding while many terribly ill-educated GPs, MWs and HVs give out worse than useless advice.

tittybangbang · 12/10/2010 23:08

"I suspect that the people on here who act like ff'ing is practically child abuse"

Like who? Hmm

gaelicsheep · 12/10/2010 23:14

For the record, as I have said twice already on this thread, I am not a formula phobe. I have given formula to both my DCs to greater or lesser degree, and in each case it has saved my sanity and their health. But it doesn't mean I think it's the ideal feeding method and it is not something I would have chosen for my children. And believe me, I wish I wasn't bothered - it would have saved me a lot of heartache.

Original poster
muslimah28 · 13/10/2010 09:36

so true wastingaway about how PCTs manage breastfeeding across the healthcare system. as someone who used to work in healthcare regulation i know how healthcare trusts like to just produce a load of bumf and think that's their health promotion done.

OP posts:
scottishmummy · 13/10/2010 10:17

health and individual decision-making is complex.there is no statutory body can enforce guidelines or make anyone act in a specific way.if an individual is deemed to have capacity and make and decision making,no amount of literature can compel them to make certain health choices

the compulsions that there are to enforce treatment are generally found in psychiatry or in extreme cases via the judicial system

foxytocin · 13/10/2010 10:58

and........

wastingaway · 13/10/2010 11:46

Who has suggested there should be any sort of compulsion?

Original poster
muslimah28 · 13/10/2010 12:15

no one said we should strap mummies to beds and shove the babies on to their breasts. i think health promotion is about more than compulsion, its about encouraging people to make healthy choices

OP posts:
Hullygully · 13/10/2010 12:17

Formula doesn't have any long chain fatty acids.

buttonmoon78 · 13/10/2010 12:29

I haven't read all of this but early on Nubbins thought just what I did - the 6wk old's mum did not say she was ff. I assumed when I read it that she might have been bf but didn't say so. Why? Not wanting to embarrass other mum? Not wanting to discuss her whole life with what was clearly the entire waiting room? Who knows.

I felt judged with each of my 3 dcs. The first I had to give up at 10 wks having combined for about 3 wks before that.

Dc2 - I bf for 6 months but introduced solids at 4m (it was routine then).

This time I ebf for 5 wks then stopped. I had been unwell at 7days and had never caught up. Having 2 older dcs meant I was unable to rest as much as I should have and I was getting depressed with my 'failure' to bf.

I'm currently ttc#4 and whilst hoping to bf I'm not going to break my heart (this time) if I can't.

scottishmummy · 13/10/2010 19:09

health promotion and hcp can encourage/support/promote dissemination of clinical information.

the decision whether or not to act upon hcp or health promotion advice comes down to
individual circumstances
ability to sustain or maintain a course of action
age/culture/class
support network

the feeding choice any mum makes is subjective and unique to her.as a baseline feed the baby- ensure adequate nutrition

and dont demonise any particular mode of feeding

or create an inference that one mode of more worthy than the other

there should be support for mums in the choices they make.whatever that is

RubyBuckleberry · 13/10/2010 20:18

'create an inference that one mode of more worthy than the other'

i thought the point was that women wanted to breastfeed because they know it is by far the superior way to feed a baby. what they need is support so that they can do this. if they don't want to, that is their issue, but surely you cannot actively avoid the issue when promoting it as part of an pct's policy.

gaelicsheep · 13/10/2010 21:42

Feeding is quite a different matter from most choices an individual would make about health matters. The mother is making this choice, but the person most affected on the long term is not her, but her child. It might be her body, but it's her child's health.

gaelicsheep · 13/10/2010 21:45

But I totally agree there needs to be support in place. For b/f the key time is the first couple of days. How many mothers leave hospital with cracked nipples? I bet the proportion is high. I know I did - twice - and straight away that makes it ten times harder than it needs to be.

scottishmummy · 13/10/2010 22:22

if a mum chooses not to, or cannot maintain bf that is her ultimate choice,cannot be compelled or coerced.can you imagine what that would do to attachment,forced to feed a certain way.behave

yes it is the mum body and her choice how to feed her baby and the mum has the final say so.cant play it any other way.unless you been reading bampot gisele bundchen model apologises for bf comments who advocated "There should be a worldwide law, in my opinion, that mothers should breastfeed their babies for six months." oh aye.thats a good idea

gaelicsheep · 13/10/2010 22:25

Oh god, I do agree that compulsion is not the answer. As you say it would be totally impossible. But what I mean is that the NHS cannot shy away from what could be termed guilt tripping mothers, because it is not only themselves that they have to think of. As others have said, where the whole system breaks down at the moment is that it's all talk on the part of the NHS and very little useful action.

gaelicsheep · 13/10/2010 22:28

What should not happen, and what does happen all too often, is the guilt-tripping continuing once a mother has run into difficulties, but with absolutely no useful help available to overcome them.

So, for example, a GP chuntering on about nipple confusion when they've just been told that giving a bottle at night is the only thing saving the sanity of a mother with PND (ie me).

scottishmummy · 13/10/2010 22:33

nhs should guilt trip mums into bf.you are shocking

being a monomaniac about breast feeding has perhaps clouded your judgement.you have lost it

what about maternal mental and physical health
strain on GP,CMHT and psych services of supporting these poor mums you advocate guilt tripping

ethically and professionally no GP,HCP would guilt trip any mum

shame on you for typing such vile nonsense

gaelicsheep · 13/10/2010 22:46

Some people would call the mere mention of breastmilk being optimal, guilt-tripping. I wouldn't. I would call it stating the facts.

No HCP would guilt trip any mum? You're kidding right? My HV sure guilt tripped me before DD was born - the trouble was she was preaching to the converted and she had her facts all wrong (I later found out).

Are you really saying the NHS shouldn't be encouraging women to give b/f a go because there are no resources to support it?! That's a bit backwards way on isn't it?

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