Support for those FF

[galonthefarm]

Not sure if this is the best description for a thread, but basically just somewhere for anyone who is FF who did not set out to do so - to chat to others about it, as there are so many feelings involved (yes, including guilt and also relief!)

My dd (5.5 months) is now exclusively bottle fed, using up supplies of frozen ebm once a day until its gone. She was 5 weeks early and we were advised to top up from the beginning so she put on weight. Now a very chubby 15 lb plus!

There are so many different stories I've heard from friends and on here, and I think it is so important to realise you are not alone in how you feel. I don't get on here much but thought would start the ball rolling! x

Hilda i am betting it is a taste issue. I have heard of people both online and in RL say that ready to serve cartons give their LO either terrible wind or constipates them. I am betting it is something to do with the heat treatment process.

Maybe you could buy a carton of powder and see how he goes on that? I have found the powdered milk tastes quite different to the carton stuff.

Just wanted to give this a little bump as there have been a few threads the last couple of days started by people looking for FF support.

i enjoyed breast feeding but -7 months now and with 2 teeth thank God for bottles!!!!!!
this is the longest i done it for just found it easier, but glad ive stopped and no guilt whats so ever! boobs hurting though but worth it!

PS - cow & gate is my best friend now!!!!!!! 1st time using it due to always buying SMA!!!!!!!

Thank you for this thread. I am the very proud mummy of a 10 day old dd. The heartache I put myself through trying to bf and still be mummy to a 3 yo dd as well was too much. When 3 yo dd saw me in floods of tears and was crying herself that was the point I knew I needed to stop.
Brilliant thread, thanks.

Congratulations acb002. I've been putting a lot of thought in to this whole business and because I've been (and so has he!) so happy with FF I think I'm going to go (almost) straight to that next time. Probably just 2 weeks of "trying" - the new baby can get the colostrum but I'm not going to torture myself. :) Life is too short.

I'm new to this and, although my little one is 18 months, I've been really keen to find people who understood how I felt about FF. I want to say that I was devastated when I didn't make any milk and had to FF. Now, without all of the hormones I feel sad but okay about it all. My boy is brilliant and his relationship with his dad is very close because of all those shared night feeds.

The best thing I did to try to feel better about it all was to write a list of all the reasons why FF was better than breastfeeding.

Finally, "Making more Milk" is a great book if you are considering continuing or trying again next time. It goes further than the usual advice (which you will have tried already, because you have more than three brain cells!)

I really admire all of you who are pumping and sterilising as well as the other baby-related things. Its very hard work.

another bump as seems to be a few needing support!

Today I got an email from the Dutch Boots with a free voucher for a box of stage 2 formula for my brand. OK, I know it's only 9 euros or so - but it's nice all the same and I'll put it to the back of the cupboard for another few months. :)

This thread has come just at the right time for me. I'm currently mix feeding my 5 week old but she is mostly having bottles although some are EBM. I never thought I would be contemplating fully FF so young as I BF DS1 for 10 months. I went BF support group with DS and felt I was almost brain washed into thinking FF was really bad and now I have such feelings of guilt of how much I love the freedom of FF. DD is fitting into a nice routine which gives me more time for DS and DH is having much more chance to bond than he ever did with DS. I also don't like getting my boobs out in public but feel I have to justify myself when I get the bottle out.
Staring into the eyes of your LO as you feed is a lovely bonding feeling.

Quite Jandmmum and despite fairy tales to the contrary, us FF mums don't feed blindfolded! As for trying to shake the guilt, read this article : www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2009/04/the-case-against-breast-feeding/7311/ it's a piece of feminist writing so might leave you feeling a bit ranty/marchey - but all good! If you and your 2 children are happy it really is nobody's business but yours and it sounds as though your routine means that both the children are getting lots of attention and of course as you say, your husband gets to join in to. Which oh my gosh is wonderful with number 1 when the partner can get up at 3am to let you sleep through - it must be a gift from heaven when you've got a toddler too!

I really do get the whole "boobs out in public" thing. I am not a prude, but I am not comfortable with it. I'd not have left the house for 6 months I think. :(

I got thinking again yesterday about the info I was sent from LLL to "help" me and I am seething again. It was the same stuff we all KNOW : latches, holds and how "good" it is. No actual "yeh well maybe yer boobs are dry". I am also quite about how these people are coining it in from women desperate to crack it. I've read so many tales around here about women who are paying through the nose for multiple visits for these consultants who can offer no advice further than you can read in any bloody book.

Wish this thread had been around 15 years ago. The best thing for any baby is love and that has nothing to do with breastmilk. Give it a go but don't prolong it if it isn't working for you - pain is not good and there is no need to be a martyr. Formula wasn't invented because it was bad for babies it was invented because a lot of mothers found it very very hard to feed. In the UK we have access to clean water and the means to sterlise it. Nobody has the right to make any mother who stops breastfeeding feel guilty.

Breastfeeding, like the perfect birth, is a very very small part of being a parent and when your beautiful babies are big enough to look back and remember they won't remember that you didn't breastfeed them. They will remember lovely mummys who did their best, who helped with homework, who cheered them on, who hugged them when things were tough and wiped dry the tears.

wow great article skihorse very interesting read. Think all the ladies on this thread should read it.

"Formula wasn't invented because it was bad for babies it was invented because a lot of mothers found it very very hard to feed. "

No. It was invented to make a lot of money.

To be fair, ski, there is a big whole load of money-making stuff going on with the follow on formulas, etc. Which in many ways gives formula a really bad name and certainly pisses me right off. Right off.

On the other hand thank goodness it was invented as it's saved so many babies - and the sanity of millions of mums, too.

I honestly don't think most people want to try to make people feel guilty even if it comes across as that - but getting the balance of support V saying "it's ok" is really tough. As you've said, it's noone else's business at all and there's loads of excellent reasons to FF.

That's all I have to say other than this is a FF support thread and I am supportive of free and informed choice for everyone (and understand entirely that often there's no choice). FWIW.

rainbow - this is a thread to give people support who are FF who actually wanted to BF - so your comment is not very helpful especially if there are new mums who are struggling with all the emotions!

Generally people know breastfeeding is the "best" kid of milk for babies, but there are lots of people for whom it hasn't worked out for whatever reason and comments like that just dont help when I set this thread up to help!!

Ok, companies do make money out of them, but as organiccarrotcake says - so many babies have been saved.

Rainbow in the Sky your complete lack of compassion is overwhelming.

wow... I don't care if someone is making money out of me and my darling, gorgeous little boy. 100 years ago given my pregnancy, delivery, feeding issues and other problems, we would both be dead.

Personally, I think that's a bit more important, and I'm grateful for FF beyond words. It's not just about sanity, guilt etc although that is VERY important. We are blessed to live in a country and a time where infant and mother mortality is very low, there is a good reason for that - medicine, and food. Formula saves lives. Women who accept that they need to FF, ARE doing the best for their babies. And often for themselves too.

Nina - which is when formula is liquid gold. And modern medicine, of course.

100 years ago I'd have had to pay for a wet nurse. I reckon formula at 15 euros a week is cheaper.

Like Nina, I don't give a flying fuck how much "Friso" charge me. My boy is wonderful.

I really hope this thread does not descend in to us getting battered for the choice we made - it is after all a support thread!

Another great story this week ladies on fearlessformulafeeder.blogspot.com/ - don't forget to check it out every week for the latest "confession".

Also this "money-making machine" is just laughable... as rainbow posts from her x00 pound laptop and her x house. Do you also deny your children toys & clothes to save a few bob? The mark up on clothes & toys is horrendous - don't fall for the trap! Give your child a conker and a rag!

Patronising twat.

Oh dear, I'm cluster posting.

Here in The Netherlands, bf mums have to give Vit K and Vit D as supplements... apparently breastmilk just doesn't cut it.

Stick that in yer pipes!

They give Vit K here, ski. The research is interesting and noone knows what causes the bleeding disorders and why it's a problem "naturally". When I had LC (DS1) there was some research that showed that Vit K may be linked to childhood cancer (which I will stress is now shown to be NOT linked) so that was a tough decision to make. I consider Vit K as being like infant gaviscon - something some babies just need, a modern medicine thing - and it's put into formula so that's fine.

You mean you give it in droplets on a daily basis? When I left the hospital I was given a prescription for the vitamins to supplement on a daily basis for 3-6 months if I was to breastfeed.