BS newbies Y7/Y9 2023

[Decisions23]

Thought I’d add a thread for newbie parents who might have questions or thoughts/worries prior to September. Probably won’t be too busy a thread, but hopefully worthwhile.

I have a few generic questions myself -

• when does the school allocate the child to a particular boarding house?
• are children able to communicate with or meet eachother over the summer in readiness for September?
• when are acceptance numbers generally finalised? Should schools know now who they’re expecting for September or does it tend to change between now and then either with an increase or decrease in new starters?

Thanks seasoned parents!

I haven't wanted to post as your DC all seemed to be doing really well, but it's going from bad to worse here. We're in full on tween girl mental health catch phrase bingo right now.

School are being excellent- HoY magicking up some counselling/CBT within 48hrs, HM keeping a sceptical watch.

But as a parent, it's killing me 😌

@MKDmumofflash sending solidarity. It is so hard when you feel powerless to help.

@MKDmumofflash Very sorry to hear. It’s great the school is so on it though.

@MKDmumofflash that's so sad - it must be awful to watch from home. I am glad the school is on it. Your poor DD - it really is a huge transition.

DD is apparently poorly this morning - I got the call no-one wants from the houseparent at 8am. Not much I can do about it from three and a half hours away but am sending texts. But at least that is likely to pass fairly quickly - though it is horrid feeling she's so far away.

Happy first long exeat to all who break up today or next week. Can’t believe we’ve got through half a term already!

A question for the seasoned parents who had children with a lot of initial homesickness that lingered beyond first couple of weeks -
How did you know to persevere with the school? What stopped you from jumping ship and moving to a closer day school?

I'd say it's a combination of looking at the whole picture of what DC are doing (because there will be highs as well as lows, but you don't get calls when they'rehaving fun), and how well you feel the school is supporting them. Homesickness is easily conflated with tiredness when they are new to boarding, especially this term, which is so long, and next term which always feels the hardest of the year because they don't have Christmas to look forward to. If my DC still seemed to be struggling after a summer term I'd have been more worried. If I felt the school were minimising or in denial I'd be more concerned, and if I couldn't see that the bouts of homesickness had lots of bright spots to alleviate them I'd have worried. Is your DC starting to board at 13+? If do I'd say it's reasonable to listen ro them and keep the situation under review for the academic year, but not rush to judgement if you are assured the school is getting to know & support them well. Houseparents will be able to recognise a child who won't settle in to boarding and advise you accordingly, but I'd be v surprised if they advised parents to call it quits at this early stage. Good luck @Decisions23 , it's not easy but you are doing your best for your DC

My DS asked to come home when he first started to board aged 9..We were told they all are be " wobbly' and he will settle. In hindsight all prep school need the fees and that is where their interests are.

He stopped asking after a little while. He went on to senior school ( it was the one that PM says changed his life even though he never actually boarded there). Fast forward to today, our DS said recently"What kind of parents would sent their child to 2 institutions with a history of child abuse '. He is right of course they attract the worst kind of people. We have to pick up the pieces of our family, it has destroyed us. If only we could turn the clock back.

Oh @Decisions23, are things still rough? They are here too. I've questioned myself many times, especially as @Chilbolton has said, the bright spots seem to be fairly few and far between (from DD's perspective anyway). A week to go until half term!