BS newbies Y7/Y9 2023

[Decisions23]

Thought I’d add a thread for newbie parents who might have questions or thoughts/worries prior to September. Probably won’t be too busy a thread, but hopefully worthwhile.

I have a few generic questions myself -

• when does the school allocate the child to a particular boarding house?
• are children able to communicate with or meet eachother over the summer in readiness for September?
• when are acceptance numbers generally finalised? Should schools know now who they’re expecting for September or does it tend to change between now and then either with an increase or decrease in new starters?

Thanks seasoned parents!

Hi
The answers to your questions are totally school dependent.
My sons knew their boarding house in March of yr 6 for yr 9 entry (they gave their preferred choices in the January).
Generally yes they will get a chance to meet the other children in their boarding house/year a few months before the academic year. In my children's cases at Easter they have a 2 day overnight stay in their boarding houses doing boarding house and year activities. They all swap numbers for WhatsApp and then it's over to you/them to arrange any other meet-ups. We also had an afternoon get together just before term started at the boarding house for children and parents to reacquaint.

Thanks @StealthToddler. I don’t think we get a taster but there is a new pupil open day in June.
I guess we should make a point of stating preferred boarding house now then…

Thanks for starting this thread, will be weekly state boarding here so no need to worry about houses, thank goodness, but a bit sad we don't get the holiday sleepovers/activity days.

My list of extremely random queries for the school currently includes whether to stay on current orthodontist/opticians lists, coping with periods (she uses pants currently), the horror of name tapes 🙄, and how they manage the dynamics between the kids etc

Top tip we were taught: Fold the name tag in half with the name on the outside (to make a loop) and just sew the two ends that meet together onto the inside of the uniform or kit.

When you have to sew name tags into everything a boarder needs to have with them it will save you HOURS!!!!!! 😉

Oooh, can I play?

DD is starting a new school in Y9 this September and will be flexi-boarding.

Neither DH nor I boarded so we have no real idea what to expect. School haven't sent any info yet. I guess it's still a while to September but I'm itching to start getting organised. I've noted the name tape tip - thanks @tachetastic

We were allocated a boarding house because in the beginning my son flexi boarded. Actually turned out to be a great choice for him as has a fab house master.

Don't buy expensive home clothes as they go through the school laundry. lol

Ah, we still get the joy of laundry....

Hate to be a killjoy, but many schools will send you their guidelines as to exactly where nametapes should be positioned on each type of garment, for instance fully readable on the outside of sports kit. So maybe better to wait before sewing on a billion nametapes in the form of loops, as suggested by a PP, as you will need a bottle of gin if they all have to be redone! Also, some schools will sew the bloody things on for you - extravagant, maybe, but worth it when DC start off in year 9 and you will have to face a mountain of nametaping...

Sure, to be clear I wasn't suggesting to disregard school rules, and ours used to be at a school where jumbo sized name tags had to be stitched in a specified place to the outside of sports kit, but the suggestion still stands to the extent schools are not specific. Normally schools send those rules before a student is kitted out, so unlikely to be done accidentally.

At DS' current school the Matron's do sew on name tags if you send them in, but I always thought it a bit cheeky to ask, except where a new bit of kit is needed in the middle of term. They have to do all the tags for the international students and I think that's enough.

No joy was killed.

If I can buy uniform ready-tagged that would be a blessing!
Another question - broadly how many events/activities are parents invited to during a term? Does it ramp up over the years?

I spoke to a parent with an older child at one BS about 1.5 hrs away and she said she seemed to be travelling there pretty regularly for one thing or another.

Can I join you - my dd2 starts boarding in Year 10 in September (random, but she's a music specialist so they can join at any time)? No-one in our family has ever done anything like this and I'm completely bemused by things like how she'll manage periods (uses pants currently - will the matron mind?) , name tags, games kit and duvets...

She's horrified by how little casual clothing she's been advised to bring - everyone else says they just live in games kit, but she can't imagine it. Also how she'll cope being the new girl when many of them will have been there since Year 6 or 7.

@minisnowballs our school sends out a pack of information in June to new parents but most of the information is available in the new parents section of the school website. If you call admissions or the school office and explain you’d like to get the information early they should help.

Our school has a uniform shop and you can book an appointment to be fitted, sports kit, tuck box, sports bag, hockey sticks etc all in the shop, nametapes ordered and sewn in (extra charge but worth it). Also could all be done online and kit put in boarding house for start of term if you like.

You will be given a list of required stuff, mattress comforter (not essential but nice), duvet with at least 2 sets of covers, 2 towels with loops for hanging (name taped) etc. wash bag, pjs, common sense stuff. Our school the girls all change into home clothes after lessons, baggy jeans, baggy sweatshirts, jogging pants. Games kit is usually sent to laundry rather than worn in prep but really no one cares and it’s just to be comfortable.

Periods, my DDs friends generally use tampons. My DD uses period pants but comes home every Saturday night after games (back in school Sunday evening) and I deal with them here. Once used they go in those plastic scented bags you get in supermarkets for disposing of sanitary towels so they aren’t smelly in her room. As they have to be rinsed in cold water and then washed in a cold cycle and air dried I think it’s too much to expect of the school. My DD is also very private and prefers me to do it at home. We are probably very unusual in that I only have one D and am a SAHM so I am happy to help with this and have the time. The simplest solution would be to try out tampons in the summer holidays I guess.

Don’t worry too much about being a new girl. Every year girls leave (parents divorce, parents change job/country, run out of money, don’t like the school, are asked to leave) and new girls step in. Also I cannot over emphasise how busy children are at boarding school. It is a long and packed day and your DD will be tired more than anything. I know a music scholar and she is constantly rehearsing, up and down the country in concerts, in school concerts.

Hope this helps. I didn’t go to boarding school but have put 3 children through (2 at Uni now).

@MKDmumofflash addressing your question re opticians/dentist etc. My kids school made it clear all kids registered with the school GP (local practice who attended the school medical centre every morning). This means you are no longer registered at your home GP but can request appointments as a guest during long summer holidays etc. Some GPs are helpful about guest appointments and it’s no big deal, some (ours!) have a sign up saying no boarding school pupils or students, you must see your school GP or uni GP.

We were also encouraged to keep our own dentist/orthodontist/optician and try to schedule appointments during holidays, otherwise request leave to attend appointments during term time was fine. If you live too far from the school or are overseas then it was a case of a member of staff taking you to the local town and signing up there for treatment.

Really helpful thanks @Tucci - DD also very private (but has never used tampons) so I'm wondering how she's going to cope (she will only be home every three weeks). I suspect she will be very, very busy (but she's used to that), which will help..

The thought of her no longer being registered with the same GP as the rest of us feels a bit weird - so grateful that (unlike her sister) she doesn't have huge numbers of ortho appointments.

I remember when I was at college I always used to get the ex-boarding school kids to change my duvet cover - they were just brilliant at it! Not quite so good at the other aspects of looking after oneself - I remember having to take one of them to buy soap.

@Decisions23 yes you can buy uniform ready name tagged BUT you have a problem if the item doesn’t turn out to fit (which is more common than you would think especially with sports kit) because the supplier generally won’t take items back that have been tagged.

in terms of visiting, I live much nearer than 1.5 hours away and I feel like I am
there every week. There’s usually a sports match of some kind at home at least once every other week, plus music recitals, plus parent/teacher meetings, plus school plays, plus exeats, plus dropping off stuff DC has forgotten…
Some schools (not ours) even run a special programme for parents with everything from book clubs to choirs to bible study groups!!

Thanks all, I want to be as active as I can in visiting DD and thankfully she’s pretty independent and domesticated (when she can be bothered).

The pre-tagging and wrong size is a great call out @stickystick - that would be so infuriating.

On another note - have you found that your children stay in contact with their prep friends or do they drift away (out of sight, out of mind)?

DD is going to a single sex BS and I’m really hoping she keeps in touch with her local mixed prep class not least because of the boy component but also because of school
hols where she’ll be back in the local area where they all are.

Right - so this week we have worked on laundry... Next week - duvet covers.

Not really sure what makes a cool teen duvet cover for a 14 year old girl (DD has a double duvet and bed at present so it will all need to be new).

I'm hoping that, at this age, the local friendships will be well cemented and she'll still have things to do in the holidays near to home. Perhaps I'm being naive?

My daughter got her duvet cover sets from Urban Outfitters. Guaranteed cool.

@minisnowballs my daughter initially brought a very small set of casual mufti based on the school recommendations.

Within a month it had mostly changed to a whole new "cool" wardrobe - and a lot more of it. 😂

@minisnowballs I have a boarding music specialist too. Although a lot of children will already know each other, you are right in that they do seem to join at different points. You also get short stay pupils who may just come for a term, or a year.

I thought my DC would struggle with the small amount of casual clothes, and sent a few extra pieces just in case. There was space for a little more than they said, but I don’t think I needed to bother. Washing gets done daily and keeping it pared back makes it easier to keep track of things.

I was able to speak to my DCs houseparent before they started and she was lovely. It gave me the chance to ask any outstanding questions that I had, so I would suggest having a chat with your DD’s HP about periods, etc. They are sure to have come across it all before!

This is a random one and more generic to senior school transition. Do the end of Y6 school reports get sent to the senior school as a final handover?