Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Black Mumsnetters

This board exists primarily for the use of Black Mumsnetters. Others are welcome to post but please be respectful.

Original poster

Genuinely not sure if I’m over-reacting: white strangers interrupting and ‘explaining’ things to my DC

138 replies

Eastie77Returns · 05/04/2026 09:47

Note: I am posting this in Black MN board and looking for opinions from other Black/non-white parents.

Currently on holiday with my DC. Yesterday we visited a museum to see an exhibition. The subject area is one I’m familiar with (studied to degree level) so I was pleased my DC were interested in it. As we walked around DS asked me a question about one of the exhibits. Before I could fully answer a white lady behind us interrupted and began ‘explaining’ the answer to him. She was factually incorrect but also spoke in simplistic language as if DS was several years younger than he is. She then smiled at me and said it’s lovely that he likes museums. I turned to DS without replying and proceeded to answer this question (correctly).

The reason it hit a nerve is that this is not the first time white strangers have felt the need to jump in and explain things to my DC when I’ve been out with them in spaces like museums, exhibitions etc. My instinct tells me if I presented as a white, middle-class parent this wouldn’t happen. BUT I don’t know if I’m being over sensitive. Have any other Black parents experienced similar?

OP posts:
RitzyMcFee · 11/04/2026 17:32

HardyEustace · 11/04/2026 15:01

And yet if the woman in question had been unfriendly, unhelpful, hostile, she would have been accused of lord knows what. Very sad attitude.

Why would someone who was answering their own child’s question in a museum accuse a stranger of being unfriendly, unhelpful and hostile and accuse her of lord knows what because they didn’t interrupt and answer the question instead? Confused

Notalotanota2026 · 11/04/2026 18:19

Lamelie · 05/04/2026 09:54

I am white and understand you’re interested in other bame parents experiences so scroll on if you wish.

I’m quite likely to do this to any child in a museum. Hopefully not incorrectly. The comment about him liking museums sounds like a misplaced attempt at allyship or just being friendly to you and is utterly cringeworthy as it suggests it’s unusual. Bit like commenting on being articulate.

OP: Case in Point. We have one here who also refuses to listen to you saying you want answers from BAME parents and now they are trying to explain to you why the White lady said what she said. It's sooooo tiring.

Some of them just cannot help themselves! 🙄

Notalotanota2026 · 11/04/2026 18:23

SalmonOnFinnCrisp · 05/04/2026 09:58

I'm white but interested to know the answer from other Black mums too!!!!

This is honestly weird/officious behaviour on the woman's part. Also kind of surprised this has happened to you repeatedly....it's so strange but maybe speaks to unconscious bias on their part.

I def chat to other people on occasion if out but its more like "oh you can see the tigers tail peaking out over there" or "isnt this exhibition nice for children" (general chit chat)

It may seem strange to YOU but it isn't strange to US. And, since this post is about US...🙄

Notalotanota2026 · 11/04/2026 18:26

YerMotherWasAHamster · 05/04/2026 10:32

I am also white. My children are w/ba.
I think she was as rude as fuck and yes, made assumptions as white people often do. And I'm putting that very kindly.
Now i'll haul my white arse out of this space that is absolutely not made for me to explain to you how you are wrong and try to tell you that you are not seeing what you 100% are seeing.

Im sorry for intruding. It came up in active and some replies pissed me off. Ill see myself out.

Edited

Here we go again 🙄

Notalotanota2026 · 11/04/2026 18:28

Mildorado · 05/04/2026 15:57

We visited St Paul's Cathedral and a white couple actually came up to us and said "well done for bringing them here".

Honestly! How patronising 🤬

Notalotanota2026 · 11/04/2026 18:37

Betterbelieveit · 06/04/2026 08:56

I think you're over-reacting regarding the race issue. The behaviour of a stranger doing that (from my perspective) may be amusing but I would nod appreciatively rathwr than be anoyyed by it.

If your child asked the question loud enoufh foe someonw wlse to hear and answer, it could be that thr persin assumed the questuon was being posed to anyone in the vicinity. It could be that thr woman is also very passionatr about the subject EVEN if they may be wrong on a few facts.

As for "white" people doing this repeatedly, could it be that you just happen to be in places qhere there are mostly white people? I am sure if you went to places with black people, you will have similar experiences. I have had MANY experiences qhere black women have given me unsolicited advice on my baby / child. I don't get angry, I know they mean well. I also know I don't have to take their advice, although, on ocassion, I have. It's called human interraction.

You just can't help yourself, can you. It's people, like you, that we are on about 🙄

Notalotanota2026 · 11/04/2026 18:52

Nope, we don't think that...just the ones who have acknowledged OP wants to hear from specifically BAME people, yet you/they are 🙄🤣😅🤣

Notalotanota2026 · 11/04/2026 23:53

HardyEustace · 11/04/2026 08:23

And therein lies the problem: a society where people don’t look out for each other or exchange pleasantries. Not exactly progressive is it?

Show quote history

Please stop with the Main Character Syndrome; it is exhausting!

OP said a WW RUDELY INTERRUPTED HER WHILE SHE WAS HAVING A PRIVATE CONVERSATION WITH HER SON.

So, stop with the passive-aggressive 'poor me' trope. This isn't about pleasantries, it is about RUDENESS! 🙄

HardyEustace · 12/04/2026 08:21

Notalotanota2026 · 11/04/2026 23:53

Please stop with the Main Character Syndrome; it is exhausting!

OP said a WW RUDELY INTERRUPTED HER WHILE SHE WAS HAVING A PRIVATE CONVERSATION WITH HER SON.

So, stop with the passive-aggressive 'poor me' trope. This isn't about pleasantries, it is about RUDENESS! 🙄

Show quote history

For the hundredth time, I am referring to the child alone at the audition scenario.

GlovedhandsCecilia · 12/04/2026 08:52

HardyEustace · 12/04/2026 08:21

For the hundredth time, I am referring to the child alone at the audition scenario.

Show quote history

You know i would have done to cover all bases. I'd have made eye contact with the child, smiled, and said "Im here if you need anything". And left it at that. The child might think I'm weird, but if they do happen to need something at any moment, hopefully they'll remember I've invited them to ask me.

Notalotanota2026 · 12/04/2026 15:49

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

SummerFeverVenice · 14/04/2026 20:54

Mildorado · 06/04/2026 08:30

I think if your children are roaming in the museum that's slightly different to people actually talking when a parent is with them.
I wish you improved health and strength 🙏.

Show quote history
Come On Reaction GIF

Yes I agree it is different. I am guessing I’ve just been lucky so far as I know there be white people like that.

IDontHateRainbows · 25/04/2026 18:01

Notalotanota2026 · 11/04/2026 18:52

Nope, we don't think that...just the ones who have acknowledged OP wants to hear from specifically BAME people, yet you/they are 🙄🤣😅🤣

Well maybe on an open forum its not possible to police who replies or not? Nothing to say people of any colour can't post in the thread rules.

I'm not saying what colour I am.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page