Permanent exclusion

[lilsgree]

Can the school do this??
My child has been permanently excluded for shouting at one teacher and supposedly pushing her way through another on her way out of the class. Witnesses who were there say she did not push this teacher and she also claims and swears on God and the bible that she didnt push this teacher.
The school still said in the meeting that there were 13 year 8s who wrote that she did push the teacher but they did not investigate the other students who were there that said she did not.
We have had many calls regarding her behaviour but not towards teachers mostly for breaking basic school rules like eating in the corridors, missing deadlines, and wearing two earring studs which is not allowed in her school.
In the meeting we were given an option to manage move but im not sure if this option is still available for her. How do we get this option because we feel it will be alot suitable than being expelled for something she did not do.

Also my child is black do you think this has anything to do with it?

What have you done to support her?

Bad behaviour is not communication it is bad behaviour. OP's DD seems to think she doesn't have to obey school rules and can barge out of spaces, doorways as she thinks fit. Dealing with that behaviour would be a good step forward.

With this? Not much

Pushing a teacher is assault. Why would the majority of students and the teacher lie?! Doesn't make sense.

Im saying i dont understand how year 8s witnessed the situation because at the time and place they should not have been there in the first place 13 of them at that.

Think about this, OP. If all pupils were 'just forgetful', no-one would follow the rules and schools would be bedlam. It sounds quite simple to me. There are rules at school. Your daughter doesn't follow some of them. School puts sanctions in place, as it should. You find excuses for her, so nothing is her fault and school is in the wrong. This is sustained. Unsurprisingly, school reaches the conclusion that there is nothing more it can do. Accept the managed move, OP, and stop making excuses for your daughter. My DD had a big problem in Y9 with being asked to take her coat off in form. She said it was cold, it was Winter and the rule was stupid. I said it may be stupid in your view but it's the rule so take your coat off. Supporting school so the child is clear is really that simple.

I understand now.

Hey OP,

Yes, I absolutely do believe that your daughter being black, plays a significant role in how she is being disciplined by the school. I believe her sanctions are disproportionate and other parents of black and brown children will be able to recognise this. The school has a duty of care to your daughter and her sanctions should be proportionate to the displayed behaviour. In your schools behaviour policy, there sanctions should be explained in relation to the 'offence'. Parents of black and brown children need to make sure they know these policies inside out as their children often have sanctioned escalated outside of the policy. If this is the case, this needs to be reported and a complaint/grievance raised. Sadly, I have some experience of this, so If you would like some help with drafting communications, feel free to PM me.

You might also want to ask for this post to be moved
to the black mums netters forum as the posters there have more experience (and empathy) of supporting black children in the education system.

❤

I think you have to help your child move forward from here. I used say to my form group (same age as your dd) that a bit of charm would ease their path in life. Being polite and saying sorry goes a long way. Even when they think something is unfair (teenagers think nearly everything is unfair in the heat of the moment), being calm and polite will 9/10 stop them having to deal with any further consequences. Your daughter won’t be able to change the world but she will be able to make it less of a battleground for herself.

Permanent exclusion is not really hard to do at all - it happens every single day but there is a process and usually it goes through stages including managed moves.
You can appeal the exclusion - they should have included how to do this in the letter but I suspect it is unlikely you will win. The local authority will also have to let you know your options re other school places versus alternative provision schools. They should have given the contact details of someone who will be your liaison.

Hi thanks, how do i ask to move this?

Guardian article already cited upthread that there are no differences in exclusion rates once FSMs and SEN are accounted for. I have worked in several diverse schools, believe me, no-one was excluded on grounds of race, and many were excused what was unacceptable behaviour in others, because of race or cultural background (we even had CPD on why some behaviour was acceptable from some students on grounds of culture).
OP's DD sounds an absolutel pain.
Also, fwiw, my DC are also mixed heritage, Indian and English. I never pulled the race card over behaviour. Bad behaviour is just that: bad behaviour.

If she feels overwhelmed in crowded spaces this could be another sign of ASD. Disruption to routines, changing circumstances, changing rules without explanation- this all adds up to the conditions that lead up to a meltdown. She might suddenly lash out because it's overwhelming.

oh come on

I might have to get her tested.

So she did start the fight, rather than go and find a teacher/TA and report behaviour.

Can someone explain to me how manage moves work? and the whole process.

But surely you must realise that your daughter has to understand that some rules - like those in school - have to be followed whether she thinks they make sense or not. Can you not get that through to her?

If you can't and her "mentality" means that she becomes a disruptive rule breaking adult it will end badly for her.

Does her "mentality" require some form of intervention?

Bit pointless reporting the incident to the teachers when they’re racist too. 🤷🏻‍♀️

It can be a long process but if she has autism, she can get support and teachers should be more understanding.

To move the thread, click on your first post and click "Report" un the bottom right hand corner. Select "other" and wrote that you'd like it moved to the Black MN (check its name) area.

No she did not. The other girl had pulled hair ponytail out after some verbal abuse towards them as to which my daughter pulled hers too.

Accept that your child has serious behaviour issues and seek help for the cause of that. Accept the managed move to give your child the chance of a fresh start. If you don’t get to the root cause and get support for her then this is how she will be from here on in.
I’ve just sat in in an exclusion hearing where the mum swore blind their child was the innocent party and it was the school’s fault etc etc. Mum couldn’t believe it when she viewed the CCTV and saw her child barge a teacher who then ended up requiring first aid treatment. That child also went to church and came from a good family but mum was in serious denial about their aggression and behaviour.

For your child to be permanently excluded you have been seriously fucking up parenting. It takes extreme levels of arseholeness and sustained effort to get excluded these days.

I suggest you stop using race as an excuse card for avoiding the consequences of repeated rule breaking and bad behaviour, or your poor dd will have been set up to fail.

You are saying the Y8s shouldn't have been where they were ie they were breaking the rules. Perhaps they were being forgetful. There is irony here.

Okay thank you x