Permanent exclusion

[lilsgree]

Can the school do this??
My child has been permanently excluded for shouting at one teacher and supposedly pushing her way through another on her way out of the class. Witnesses who were there say she did not push this teacher and she also claims and swears on God and the bible that she didnt push this teacher.
The school still said in the meeting that there were 13 year 8s who wrote that she did push the teacher but they did not investigate the other students who were there that said she did not.
We have had many calls regarding her behaviour but not towards teachers mostly for breaking basic school rules like eating in the corridors, missing deadlines, and wearing two earring studs which is not allowed in her school.
In the meeting we were given an option to manage move but im not sure if this option is still available for her. How do we get this option because we feel it will be alot suitable than being expelled for something she did not do.

Also my child is black do you think this has anything to do with it?

Going to church means nothing if you don’t behave well. One of the worst behaved children at my DS secondary school attended the same church as me, she didn’t want to be there and was hugely resentful. She stabbed my DS with a pencil in the arm once, she is white and he is mixed race so there you go. My DS announced at around 9 he no longer wanted to go to church, so he didn’t though he would go to the Carol service at Christmas.

She probably hated being relocated, it’s an incredibly difficult age to leave friends. Maybe she hates going to church and is resentful. What does her Dad think?

I can see there are a number of issues here. Your DD is upset that you've moved and misses her friends and the community she had in London. She has a strong character and stands up for herself and gets very upset about injustice. She may also face a number of microaggressions of racism that have affected her so she's become defensive.

I wonder if she has autism and hasn't been diagnosed.

If she wasn't in trouble or disruptive at her previous school, then the move may be the reason she has got to this point. If she was disruptive at her previous school, then it may be that she has SEN or that she is a disruptive child.

In any case she can't continue at this school and needs a fresh start. I wish you the very best for her.

This is acc a new rule most things she gets in trouble for are new rules that have been put in place im thinking shes just forgetful.

There's a quote button. If you press it under the post you're replying to, it's so much easier to follow.

From your opening post, you’ve made it clear your daughter has a habit of misbehaving and pushing boundaries until she physically assaulted a teacher. Your child being black has nothing to do with the outcome but her behaviour, and, I suspect, your lack of parenting has led to this. Push for her to move schools, unless this is already in motion due to exclusion?

Doesn’t sound like she’s getting on brilliantly at this one. Seems to think she can do what she likes and there are no consequences.

So she's unable to follow that basic rule then?
Based on your previous posts I'm guessing there are many basic rules that she can't follow, both in and out of the classroom. Why is she so special that she gets to eat in the corridors and noone else does?

but knowing how religious my daughter is she would not lie on the bible and on God no matter how serious the offense.
Your naivety is quite endearing!

So she didn't push the teacher, and she only shouted because the teacher was shouting at her. She’s not aggressive and only fought back in self defence, she's not disruptive and only ignores rules she doesn't understand.
She's been permanently excluded but there hasn't been any warnings this was on the horizon?
You say "I know she has other behaviour problems that need to be sorted" so if she's non aggressive, only shouts if she's been shouted at first, has no problems in class, and you've told her she needs to fall the rules, what are the behaviours that need sorting?

Shouting at the teacher, pushing a teacher, wearing multiple earrings, eating in corridors and missing deadlines are not allowed in the majority of schools.

I think a new start would be a good idea-make sure your daughter is very clear of the school rules before day 1 in a new school though.

You must be on a wind up now? She is not forgetful. She is rude and entitled and this is clearly backed up by you.

Your daughter has been excluded from school because of her own poor behaviour. Not because the school are racist, or the kids are lying, or your daughter is misunderstood and scapegoated. Her own poor behaviour. Just like all the other times - not because she was defending herself, or breaking a harmless rule or 'not coping' with people shouting, or missing bloody London (!!) Her own poor behaviour.

From your replies on this thread, it's easy to see why her behaviour has deteriorated rather than improved. You're not parenting her or holding her accountable at all. You're not seeing the real problem - her. If you carry on the way you're going, she will carry on the way she's going too. It's not kind to be blind to her poor behaviour OP. It's not good parenting and it's not doing her any favours long term.

I think you now need to focus on what’s going to happen in the near and medium term future. If a managed move has been mooted, it will be to a school that has reciprocal arrangements with the school she’s at. There will be meetings, in which the expectations will be made clear. It will be closely monitored and if things go well, she would stay there. If they don’t, she’ll return to the current school, from which, if nothing changes, she’ll return may well be excluded again.

I think you need to point out to her that she’s run out of options. Apportioning blame to other students, teachers and the school is not going to move things forward.

I found a couple of op's posts pretty aggressive. Maybe that's just me but maybe they both need to get on board with some anger management classes. There is a lot missing here I think.

im trying to make it clear its not in the classroom.

Mines?

i will.

I dont know how to explain that shes not terribly behaved? But i see how my replies can show my bias in this situation.

Shes not rude.

So you're saying that prior to this incident, none of the behavioural issues that have been raised have been classroom based? That despite the fact she seems unable to follow basic rules outside of the classroom, she is an exemplary student when in it?

I believe your daughter OP.

We already know from a post last week from a trainee teacher that racism is still very rife in schools and that lots of teachers know it’s wrong but are too afraid to get involved when it’s one of their own colleagues spouting shit.

You need some good legal advice rather than wasting time with randoms on Mumsnet.

You might also get more useful advice if you post in the Black Mumsnetters section?

Good luck OP.

Thats what i planned to do

I'm going to be honest here

Increasingly I'm seeing PEXs being used as a stick for parents to accept a managed move.

The PEX will be rescinded if you accept the MM.

It's a who blinks first situation.

If you are really truly being 100% honest about her behaviour and what led up to the PEX you could refuse the MM and take the PEX to appeal. Outcomes are not certain, obviously.

Does it help in anyway to say that she doesn't need to be terribly behaved?
She has behaved in ways that are consistently disruptive and against the schools rules so many times that the school now has little or no choice to move her elsewhere.

Her dad pretty upset with this situation. Hes sure that its to do with her behaviours leading up to this and even though they were minor.

She won't follow a basic rule. That is rude. The rules aren't there just for the hell of it. They're their to create a conducive environment for learning. And yes that extends to corridors - who wants to see litter and dropped food everyone.

It's not hard.