Effect on mental health on being only POC at work

[Latenightdrive]

have had many conversations with my friends about this ever since I have been in my corp role many of my friends are struggling in the same way. We are a directorate of 140 and I am the only POC I have really struggled to fit in. I have tried to not let it bother me but I have hit the end of the road and plan to hand my notice in this week. When I do go into the office no one really speaks to me and I do feel ignored.

Do you think I would be unreasonable to highlight this in my resignation letter as this is one of the reasons?

Thanks I plan too! I just want to make sure I get my words out correctly. I don’t want to make it a huge race thing but I believe it’s also one of the reasons why my development hasn’t been as progressive as my peers. As I do feel that i don’t belong and I can’t find my voice.

I would keep it factual. What’s the ethnic mix in the local area? Does your organisation reflect that? If not then could something be done about how they recruit?

it’s hard raising it. I did many years ago but it took me a couple of years to find the courage as I planned to stay.

And of course how it impacted your experience.

@dcbgr Racist comment.

It’s a shame to read so much racism here- particularly as black mumsnetters is supposed to be a safe space.

You are aware that there have been Black people in the U.K. for hundreds of years? Multiple generations? You think the way for us to avoid racism is for us to ‘go back’ to our country of ethnic heritage? How does one ‘go back’ to a country one has never been to?

What about white peoples with non British heritage? Should they also ‘go back’ to the countries their great great great grandparents were from? Or do they get to stay? Just so we’re clear.

Yes, racism often touches nerves. Funny that.

@ThatTealViewer Absolutely this. I'm white, and racism does makes me angry. I'm embarrassed that so many white people are so blatantly racist.
We are still so far from MLK's dream it's sad.

Considered reporting this comment but I think it’s best left here in case anyone is any doubt why threads like these exist.

Would you consider crawling back to your sewer?

Everything you have felt is absolutely valid OP and the attitude of some of the posters on this thread further proves your point. White people will never experience racial trauma and some will deny the existence of racism until they're blue in the face.

My advice to you would be to raise this as the reason for you leaving. I experienced something very similar and I left quietly. The trauma that I experienced as a result of not speaking up far outlasted the racism itself. I quit my job without having another one to go to and went through what felt like a grieving process. I felt unseen, cast aside, ignored and extremely traumatised. Even writing about it now makes me feel so angry that I just left and made their lives easier by not being their problem anymore, instead of raising the point.

Not sure if you're racist, stupid or both.

I was married to an African and have a now grown-up son. I have many black, Arab etc. friends. I see them as people.

As opposed to what? 🤨 I know you’re trying to be helpful, but this really was not the take you thought it was.

Because it’s very unlikely any black woman would respond to a post like the OP’s with “are you sure?” We all know that gut feeling and we wouldn’t question it. A bit like when a woman knows a man is being leery without him saying anything overtly sexual.

Well. I could be black. I could be white. I could be beige. You'll never know.

You and I both know you’re white, Rainbows. Come on now.

It’s no biggie, it’s just a learning curve. If you see a post on the Black Mumsnetters board and you can’t relate, it’s probably because you’re not a Black Mumsnetter so can probably stay out of it. We live and we learn.

I understand what you are saying OP. I have experienced similar incidents, and attitudes when I was working in a white majority office. Being made to feel so separate at times, being wary of being my authentic self, seeing new white members of staff being treated better, and accepted straight away, being invited to lunch etc. It is wearing, and no, I am not surprised at the amount of denial that is happening on this thread. It is the same as men denying that women suffer from sexism, at their hands.🙄

Oh, we know.

I really wish all thr non-POC would just bugger off when it comes to BMN. So many racists rush in here to answer questions not directed at them. Why cant they just go back to stormfront?!

What am I then.

Clue: not white

I agree@Krampers . I do not know why so many posters come here to tell people that their lived experiences are either, imaginary, caused by their own behaviour, or never, ever happened. Just go away, if you have no experience of life lived as a black, or poc, if you are going to constantly deny what people are saying. What are they hoping to achieve?

Sweetheart, we don’t care. We know you’re not Black. This isn’t ‘not-white’ Mumsnet. Nobody is interested in parsing your (fascinating to you, I’m sure) racial mix. However, do not come here snd attempt to gaslight Black women with your nonsense.

We see you and we will call you out.

It’s how they get their kicks. The very idea of Black women creating and owning a space drives a certain sort of person insane. They must interject and centre themselves or they will explode.

This has been the case in every online community for BW of which I’ve ever been a member. Literally, every single one.