Effect on mental health on being only POC at work

[Latenightdrive]

have had many conversations with my friends about this ever since I have been in my corp role many of my friends are struggling in the same way. We are a directorate of 140 and I am the only POC I have really struggled to fit in. I have tried to not let it bother me but I have hit the end of the road and plan to hand my notice in this week. When I do go into the office no one really speaks to me and I do feel ignored.

Do you think I would be unreasonable to highlight this in my resignation letter as this is one of the reasons?

How are you getting on.tiis week @Latenightdrive ? Have decided to resign?

At a practical level, if you put it in your resignation letter, isn't it easier for them just to roll their eyes and dismiss you? I have no idea what your relationship with your line manager is but I'd be inclined to raise it directly, perhaps at exit interview stage? You can do all the "I feel", "my perception" is language which may or may not prevent excessive defensiveness if you like, but I think it's worth it. Admittedly, your best case scenario is the manager thinks about it and perhaps makes more effort with the next POC. Not exactly lifechanging stuff though, I'm sorry.

PS I'm white but I 100% think this happens - I see it on school run, in offices etc. It's a thing and in particular for black women. I'm sorry you're experiencing it.

I spent my 20s in corporate. I now work for a small company and do my own thing. The first 3 years I spent outside the corporate setting felt like I was relearning how to be me in a working environment. There is something about being in a space that may see you as “foreign” - when I say this I mean they don’t get your food, you can’t talk about your music choice - what you did over the weekend does not resignate with anyone - and as much as I was friendly with as many people as possible - I have to say that looking back I was never allowed to be the truest version of myself (yes, I went for drinks, I had the shots, went to all work do’s, made friends etc) - but imagine nobody being able to relate to you at all!! The best corporate experience I’ve had was when the team was diverse - different upbringings, life experiences and people from my continent. When it is not diverse there is a huge part of yourself you don’t bring to work, whilst all of your other colleagues can be themselves and bring their full selves into work because they just banter.

Sorry it’s long, but I’m trying to say that sometimes it’s about culture, and then race.

I was close to a few colleagues. Looking back they were all POCs or from somewhere else - some were white but European, but what connected us was this feeling of otherness.

It’s hard being the only POC. And if I’m being honest, I think so many people struggle to really understand what you are feeling.and most importantly how it picks at you overtime. How it can be silencing too.

I wouldn’t mention the race thing in your letter. However is there anything you can do as HR to get them to hire more people from different backgrounds? Is it something you are willing to invest some time in? Or are you done? I know what it’s like to be DONE. Do you have anyone at all that you can confined in at work? Would you have options if you decided to quit.

Could you stay a little longer whilst you look for another job and this time pay attention to how diverse the workforce is?

I think it’s a shame that you feel this way. Definitely speak to them about it.

Reading this thread has reminded me of how much more welcome I felt in departments with an international team compared to monocultural teams in the same companies. The difference was stark! As the lone POC, you'll stand out even more than if you're a White foreigner. Monocultural groups tend to either stick together from the outset (i.e. isolate the 'different' person), or club together once they start to see the differences of the 'different' person (i.e. isolate the 'different' person). If you're a POC, the group will inadvertently add racist assumptions to their ideas about the 'different' person. It's incumbent upon the group to understand and challenge this pack behaviour and any accompanying racist ideas that underpin their thinking.

StormingNorman
By the way they asked was LateNighDrive are they sure its a colour issue?
Whilst EVERY black person who read that message inwardly winced and felt it/knew what it was about straightaway
But every white benignly assumed its a "chip on the shoulder" scenario that they're imagining
That's how.