Urgent School say my Sons hair is too short!

[Dontjudgeme101]

My son told me last night, that the his hair is cut too short. The school have had, if it happens again, that he will have to go into isolation until it grows to a acceptable level. I need to contact school this morning to speak to them about it. It looks neat and tidy and it grows really quickly. His hair is mixed and he doesn’t look after it properly. Is there anything, that’ll can say to the school, or will l just have to accept that it’s too short?

@ChardonnaysPetDragon

The school is wrong in dictating what your child's hair should be like. Having a hair cut will not affect your sons ability to learn..

I could affect their ability to learn. Uniform is there for a reason and that’s to prevent pupils who cannot always afford the latest trends from being singled out. They then feel miserable and are bullied and that affects their learning. Uniform is not all bad, even though it might seem so occasionally.

It's funny how people talk about people being singled out due to cost, but demand a boy get a number above 2, which in order to remain neat would probably need to be cut more often (which costs money), or they'll just look dishevelled all the time, no one seems to care about that likelihood. As long as those pesky rules are followed

Schools need to be reasonable, I remember when these stupid rules first came in, we were told it was to prevent children expressing their NF skinhead affiliations within the school environment. Then they started telling black boys they couldn't keep their hair neat and tidy with a short cut that would last longer.

These racist school policies make me fume

My kid's school put an Asian girl in isolation recently for colouring her hair blonde. She was told that her hair couldn't naturally be that colour so its against the rules. White girls are allowed to have blonde hair.

I challenged a previous school about their discriminatory minimum hair length rule. I was willing to take them to court. The Equality Advisory Support Service told me that the rule was indirect discrimination against black boys.

I'm not sure it's discrimination, since the rules apply to all kids, but it's certainly petty as fuck. In a pandemic, this is what some schools focus on?

It's definitely discrimination. Afro hair is very different to Caucasian hair. It grows up and out, not down. A lot of people keep it very short for it to be manageable..

@ChardonnaysPetDragon

These schools being?

How many schools and how do you know about these schools not caring about young people?

Anyway, I realised this is a board I don’t usually post on, the thread came up in Active, so I’ll let you to it.

Not sure what you mean by 'let you to it' - I have also only just noticed which board it is on - I also don't post here (as I am not a Black Mumsnetter) but think that is irrelevant to my points that some schools focus on the wrong stuff.

I'm an ex-teacher, I know many teachers, it is something that gets discussed.

Sick and tired of having to explain

picture .... disgusting is absolutely the wrong word.

I agree it’s a stupid rule that has no bearing on a child’s ability to learn.

So, petty, silly, out dated, draconian, irrelevant might be more appropriate. Disgusting has an extremely strong vile repulsive meaning. This rule really does not fit that category.

Nothing wrong for me with a uniform though. I was poor as a child and it did give me some protection from standing out too much. My mum was not happy with having to spend the money on the uniform, and it was the only new clothes I got all year. All my clothes were second hand which is never a good look.

And it’s fine I think for kids to have a certain amount of pressure off having to dress amazingly well for their peers. Sure there can be ways around a uniform to make it look cool, but that depends on it. Several have crested jumpers that you can’t change, and trousers that are one style only.

My DS would have stressed out a lot if he didn’t have a uniform as every outfit needs to be tried on about 5 times! He’d never get out of the door for school. Only having hair to think about was pretty good!

It is also not a terrible idea to ‘put on a uniform’ for a certain role, like being at school.

But yes policing hair is very strange, never really got that at all.

@MrsHuntGeneNotJeremyObviously

I'm not sure it's discrimination, since the rules apply to all kids, but it's certainly petty as fuck. In a pandemic, this is what some schools focus on? It's no wonder that teachers often don't get support from parents when they are wasting time policing children's hair. My boys used to have buzz cuts when they were little (school constantly infested with nits). Short hair is more practical really. If they persist I would definitely do as a pp suggested and note all other infringements of school.uniform policy from other kids and ask whether those kids are in isolation too. Absolutely ridiculous to put a child in isolation because of a haircut!

In about October/November last year we got a letter from the school reminding us about the kid's PE kit and what was acceptable.

I needed to remind them that parents may be a little strapped for cash with zero hour contracts not being renewed and redundancies (I've been made redundant twice in this pandemic). This is a school in a very deprived area. Priorities are wrong.

They just sent another one this week and I think, focus on how far behind the kids have gotten. Not their bloody PE uniform!

@AreTurnipsReal

Can you say that you respect school rules but it is difficult to abide this rule because it doesnt take into account how black people care and can care for their hair? Just be calm and relaxed and you will be fine hopefully. I am sorry you have this stress - wishing you luck . Could you offer to send them some articles, or ask if they need help understanding how to care for black hair?

This sounds good , these ridiculous rules make me so angry when there are so many important issues in education they should be concentrating on.

I don’t blame you for being annoyed OP. These are the sort of reasons I am pleased my DS’ are no longer as school. Just so petty & ridiculous, we had it all over the years, shoes not right, hair not right, detention for not having a green pen, you try buying a green biro in a local shop when it’s run out! Totally got on my nerves, my DS’ went to school didn’t cause bother. Just crazy, out of date policies.

@Dontjudgeme101

Just looked at School Policy, it states no, extreme styles. Not allowed tram lines or shaving of the hair. It says short hair minimum grade 2. It’s there in print. So his hair is 1/2 inch too short. So l am in the wrong.

No you’re not. They should change the rules now it’s been shown to be discriminatory This is the sort of thing that exhausts us fighting for. Trying to argue about something that doesn’t even affect learning and it’s wrong and unfair.

hmm .... your point is not completely valid though - My kid's school put an Asian girl in isolation recently for colouring her hair blonde. She was told that her hair couldn't naturally be that colour so its against the rules. White girls are allowed to have blonde hair. No they’re not at my school ... My white daughter has very dark brown hair, she’s not allowed to dye her hair blond, or even blond highlights, as that’s against the school rules. Their rules state hair must be its natural colour.

Also I wish schools would be a lot more on it over standards of behaviour, than looks. Kids and teachers can end up very jaded and disrespectful. I’ve seen really rude behaviour just be tolerated, and tired teachers who just let it go. And yet a fade cut gets the isolation room?

That is all out of kilter.

No they’re not at my school ... My white daughter has very dark brown hair, she’s not allowed to dye her hair blond, or even blond highlights, as that’s against the school rules

You clearly don't go to our school then. So why's my point not valid?

@Dontjudgeme101

Just looked at School Policy, it states no, extreme styles. Not allowed tram lines or shaving of the hair. It says short hair minimum grade 2. It’s there in print. So his hair is 1/2 inch too short. So l am in the wrong.

School policy can be wrong, especially if it’s indirectly racist. I think you should raise this as it’s clear they haven’t thought about it properly or fairly. It’s been in the news recently quite a bit that school hairstyle rules have changed after students complained about them being racist.

ChardonnaysPetDragon
Uniform is there for a reason and that’s to prevent pupils who cannot always afford the latest trends from being singled out. They then feel miserable and are bullied and that affects their learning.

However well-known this reason is, it is still ridiculous. If the school cannot deal with bullying, uniform is not of much help. Any reasonable dress code will do better than a prescribed uniform presumably making them all "equal".

The actual reason the schools are in favour of the uniform is that the staff feel that they have better control of the uniformed pupils as the whole point of it is submission. Which is of course against the humanistic idea of education as bringing up a free-thinking individual, but who cares? Not the schools anyway.

My son's hair (afro textured) is cut into a fade because it looks smarter/neater in our opinion. He has very long hair on the top, that shrinks into defined coils so looks about an inch and a half long (it's about 5 inches when you pull on the curl). The sides get matted quicker, the fade helps us to control that and less complaining in the morning when I have to brush the knots out.

OP, this thread has been hijacked by non-black mumsnetters so you'll get a lot of minimising and 'you knew the rules before you signed up' bullshit.

Surely all the schools are doing is furthering the stereotype that a shaved head/fade = thug/gang member. I have had both haircuts and have never been in a gang or felt the need to don a pair of Doc Martens and smash somebody’s head in.

Speak to these guys for confirmation this rule is discriminatory bullshit
www.equalityadvisoryservice.com/app/home and not a bunch of randoms and 'ex-teachers' on the Internet.

hmm ... I have obviously picked up your comment the wrong way - I read it as in general, white girls are allowed to dye their hair blond. I apologise for my mistake of misreading.

Aside from that, OP, this thread has been hijacked by non-black mumsnetters so you'll get a lot of minimising and 'you knew the rules before you signed up' bullshit. .... so only black people can comment on this thread then? Interesting.

@Blindstupid

hmm ... I have obviously picked up your comment the wrong way - I read it as in general, white girls are allowed to dye their hair blond. I apologise for my mistake of misreading.

Aside from that, OP, this thread has been hijacked by non-black mumsnetters so you'll get a lot of minimising and 'you knew the rules before you signed up' bullshit. .... so only black people can comment on this thread then? Interesting.

No it’s not only for black people but there is little benefit to a white opinion on a black issue as you really can’t ever fully understand from our perspective

hmm no one is minimising. School threads always fall into camps where some posters think that school rules trump everything and others believe that rules ought to be reasonable and stupid ones should be challenged. Hasn't the OP said that it's the fade which the school are objecting to? If so, it's petty and ridiculous but it might not be racial discrimination, unless you are saying that fades are necessary?
My kid had a fade once - it looked like a plucked chicken and schools don't like 'extreme' hair cuts. But most people agree with the OP that it's a really stupid issue for a school to focus on when there are so many other more important things to worry about.

i'm not convinced this is a race issue - in fact I would reckon the minimum requirement for length is actually about preventing white pupils turning up as skinheads with all of the connotations of that...

it doesn't sound as though your son needs his hair as short as that for management, it is a style choice. while it's frustrating i think you just need to make sure he doesn't go shorter than the length they specify in future.

i had actually wondered if my son's school would be ok with his various hair styles (he was rocking a full kid'n'play 90s vibe at one point) but they have never fussed at all. and actually when we had issues with other pupils touching his hair (vast majority of pupils are white) they got it sorted really quickly without a fuss.

if you do feel that the rules need updating then raise it with your parent council rep/head of year?

I always thought that not being allowed very short hair was to prevent boys having skin heads popular with right wing extremists. I don't really understand any other ways in which it would/could be an issue, so assumed it must be that. I can understand why they wouldn't want multi coloured mohicans but I don't really see the issue with a fade, looks pretty smart to me and anyone could get it if they asked the barber to do it so I don't get the bullying thing - surely it doesn't cost loads more to get a fade than any other cut - unlike really expensive trainers or designer clothes?

A two is still pretty short though so I would just work within the rules, I do my OH's and give him either a 1 or 2 all over and there's not a huge difference IMO, a 2 still looks like a shaved head.