Urgent School say my Sons hair is too short!

[Dontjudgeme101]

My son told me last night, that the his hair is cut too short. The school have had, if it happens again, that he will have to go into isolation until it grows to a acceptable level. I need to contact school this morning to speak to them about it. It looks neat and tidy and it grows really quickly. His hair is mixed and he doesn’t look after it properly. Is there anything, that’ll can say to the school, or will l just have to accept that it’s too short?

You’re not in the wrong, OP. It’s indirect discrimination.

I am sorry you are going through this. Kids should be allowed to express their identity and personality.
I find hair rules and uniform to be totally anachronistic.

Did I understand right? He doesn't have to go in isolation this time, but if it happens again he will?

The rules say ‘minimum grade 2’ .... the OP’s ds has a fade, which is usually to skin! That’s not a grade 2. End of.

At least you’ll all know for next time OP that it’s not an acceptable length. It may look good/stylish - but it’s against the rules. The rules that we all sign up to when we send our children to school. Whatever the individual school rules - they’re there and that’s it.

I haven't heard of fade haircuts before. I expect it comes under their policy of extreme haircuts. I think you could ask for clarification.

The school is wrong in dictating what your child's hair should be like. Having a hair cut will not affect your sons ability to learn..

But a 1.5 into a fade( if that what your son has) then is going against the rules. ( even if I don't agree)

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz

I was thinking why an earth wouldn't schools allow fades?!

But your explanation makes sense, I can definitely see a child being left out because they don't have the latest haircut.

lettuce ... how is it indirect discrimination??
The haircut doesn’t follow the rules. It’s really that simple!

I still don’t understand the rules surrounding hair cuts, fades always look so smart, I can’t see why they are banned as an extreme style? Surely dying your hair an unnatural colour or getting Mohawk is extreme but I fade is neat and tidy.

@TeenMinusTests

This came up in active. Who at school said it was too short? Can you go above their head or sideways? (eg to head of year or pastoral) Is there a Black teacher who could advocate for you?

1.5 inches is usually plenty long enough if it were straight hair.

Is there a Black teacher who could advocate for you? You are expecting a teacher to say the rules don't apply to this child because I ( the teacher ) am black ? In other words because you have the same skin colour then they MUST have the same values as you ?

I've just looked it up. It's a trendy haircut that is neat and well kempt.

I think the attitude towards it is small minded and petty.

I'd be minded to play them at their own game. Yes, of course it won't happen again now I'm clear about the rules. I am so thrilled he's back at school after they were closed for so long. Were you as disappointed as I that the power of your teaching unions kept them closed last summer? So detrimental to the children's education don't you think. Now let me focus on the important matter of ds's hair.

The injustice op is that due to my perceived privilege and presence of choice I could get away with it with a raised eyebrow and a chuckle. And it's the fact that those who run schools are aware of that, consciously or unconsciously, that switches the implementation of petty rules into an adult form of bullying.

It is important to challenge this for your son, he needs to begin to learn how to ensure he can be himself and to firmly stand up to micro aggressions.
Start with @Ohdeariedear suggestion with the head of house and then take it from there.

@Lettuceforlunch

You’re not in the wrong, OP. It’s indirect discrimination.

The school being unhappy about a fade is not indirect discrimination. The fade cut is not a cultural choice - it's a trend. Simple.

Re the “rules are rules” comments.
We used to have a lot of rules- black people could be kept as slaves, women weren’t allowed the vote, homosexuality was illegal. I’m glad people challenged those rules and eventually changed them.
We should abide by rules that are fair, but always speak out when they are not. Rules are not set in stone, they are a social construct that the vast majority have to accept for them to continue, let’s make sure we only accept fair ones.
I’m not saying the fade hairstyle ban is unfair, just that we need to be willing to examine rules and change them if they aren’t appropriate and fair for all.

I think the school have been fair with a warning. Your son can attend school as normal and you know what haircuts are not acceptable in the future. Live and learn.

On afro carribean hair, a fade can look very much like a shave depending on the texture of the hair. It will soon grow, i wouldnt worry to much

I have to say, schools really hate skin fades. I'm not really sure why as they are smart and tidy and pretty attractive - especially compared to some teenage hairstyles of the past (I had hair modelled on The Cure and it looked awful). Its also as a PP said a style that suits all ethnicities and ages - young boys and older men all have it round here. Its also good for both curly and straight hair. I have to say I really don't see the issue and think it looks a lot better than a straight skinhead on a kid surely? As the mother of multiple boys who play a lot of sports I also think it's much more hygneic for them to keep their hair short. If it's any consolation my son who has been getting into trouble for having a skin fade on and off for about 4 years now is white. The trick, he has discovered, is to get it cut at the start of half term, or even on a Friday, and then he can normally get away with it by the Monday he goes back to school. A skin fade, by its nature, really does grow out pretty fast.

Personally I wouldn't make a big deal out of this as I think boys of all ethnicities are probably getting grief over their skin fades. I'd take the warning on the chin and say yeah new tonus, only 13, hadn't heard of this style before, blah blah and then be more strategic about when he gets it cut in the future. but I guess I am pretty blasé about it now after several warnings over tha last few years (nothing ever happened).

@Dontjudgeme101

Just looked at School Policy, it states no, extreme styles. Not allowed tram lines or shaving of the hair. It says short hair minimum grade 2. It’s there in print. So his hair is 1/2 inch too short. So l am in the wrong.

Tell them he had head lice and it was the only way you Gould get rid of the eggs. That’ll shut the idiots up. bTW, have they actually spoken to you about it or just your son? I’d follow this up with a phone call asking why they believe it’s ok to speak to him and not you. (unless hes 17 in 6th form)

And a fade is not a ‘trendy’ haircut it is a haircut that black men have been wearing for many years as it has far less upkeep requirements for the wearer. No wearing of silk scarves to bed, no feta bling, simple wash routine. It’s an easy to manage yourself style.

@QuimReaper

I really don't understand hair rules in schools. Why on earth shouldn't a child of either sex shave the whole bloody lot off if they like? Indeed, I bet they'd be more tolerant of a girl doing it. Baldness is also in some cases naturally-occurring or unavoidable, so (although admittedly rare) it doesn't seem like something you can ban. Same as trying to ban things like hair dye - if people can naturally have bright red hair then you can't ban it outright (at least not without being wildly discriminatory, and probably racist) so it makes no sense to ban a blonde child from dyeing it that colour.

Out school are not tolerant of girls doing it. I know this because I have a girl who shaves her head. She has to be very very careful about having a grade 2 or above because anything shorter, any fades, tram lines, dye or extreme hairstyles result in isolation.

I don't agree with it but their policy applies across the cohort.

My older teen has a fade, as do most of his friends ... he and his friends are white, a fade is not exclusive to black people. It’s really not discrimination, it’s SCHOOL RULES. It really is that simple.

Maybe send them some links regarding discrimination around hair? I think that's what I would do ...

• no de-tangling

I would also point out that if it was your dh that took him for a haircut that this happened and that he asked the barber for a smart short back and sides type hair cut that was suitable for school and this was the result (assuming no tram lines etc) - this sort of haircut was what my grandfather had had since he was a lad in the 1920s through to the 1980s when he died - as did many others of his generation - they would have been in trouble if they hadn’t had this haircut!

If he has hair that grows quickly and if it’s difficult to get hair appointments where you are, around here the boys are all getting their hair cut an extra grade shorter because it’s difficult to get regular hair appointments so this means it’s tidier for longer. It also means that it’s cheaper if you only have to get hair done every six weeks instead of every 4 weeks or whatever it is for your ds, worth pointing out I think in these covid times.

Really soontobe ?? Are you really saying teachers can’t talk to their pupils?? Get a grip!

I don't understand the bullying/leftboutvthing though? Any boy can walk into a barber and get a skin fade for a tenner, it's not like girls with expensive hair extensions or dye jobs (all fine at schools of course)