Urgent School say my Sons hair is too short!

[Dontjudgeme101]

My son told me last night, that the his hair is cut too short. The school have had, if it happens again, that he will have to go into isolation until it grows to a acceptable level. I need to contact school this morning to speak to them about it. It looks neat and tidy and it grows really quickly. His hair is mixed and he doesn’t look after it properly. Is there anything, that’ll can say to the school, or will l just have to accept that it’s too short?

I have googled fade and the photos look like the back and sides have been shaved in which case I would say yes this is not a good haircut for school.

There have been legal cases about racial discrimination via hair style policies. Ask to see the policy and ask the school to confirm which part of the policy is being breached.

Take photos of your son's hair, if you can measure it stretched straight and take photos of that too.

Obtain a copy of the school complaint procedure and make a formal complaint

My son is constantly getting into trouble at school for having too short hair. He likes skin fades and goes to the barber himself now. I've given up, particularly as it looks was better in a tidy skin fade (very short back and sides, longer on top) than when it's longer and gets very greasy. I think the school have pretty much given up now too post ockdown as virtually all the boys went and got skin fades as soon as the barbers opened. the irony is at primary school they used to complaim his hair was too long.

I do think the rules are there so try to follow them. Good luck telling a 16/17y old what to do with their hair though.

@Melitza

Britain, Ireland and Malta are the only European countries to adopt a rigid uniform policy. And there is no legislation to support uniforms in the UK. Which means there must be tacit consent from parents or it would change. Interestingly internationally it tends to be former British colonies that still have school uniforms. All my school photos from 1970’s show the boys with mostly shoulder length hair. Is that allowed now? It was never a problem at the time.

I didn't know this. I'm in Ireland where uniforms are the norm.

Covid has really changed what my daughter wears to school, she is going in in the PE uniform every day now and nobody says anything to her.

With a grade 2 cut, that situation will have resolved itself by Monday!
It's a non issue and they shouldn't look for trouble imo. (the school). Are they trying to demoralise him?

The thing about hair is that it grows and often very quickly. Were the school just warning for next time or are they threatening isolation this time?

I had no clue what a fade haircut is and I googled it. Here this page has several
www.pinterest.com.au/pin/782078291510718146/

It doesn't seem to be a cultural or mixed hair style but more a hairstyle for all that depending how high and extreme the fade is, would be .

It looks to me like a very trendy haircut for all ethnicities.

How old is he?

The school is mad! They also sound racist. I would be going to governors about this and higher if you don't get a decent response. Unacceptable behaviour towards your DS. Sorry you have this ridiculous fight on your hands.

Contact national newspapers.

I have alopecia. Admittedly I wasn’t fully bald until 18/19, but would they ban an alopecian white kid?

It's crazy really
My dh works in accounting and gets me to shave his hair to a grade 1. Doesn't seem to affect his ability to do his job!

@dementedpixie

The thing about hair is that it grows and often very quickly. Were the school just warning for next time or are they threatening isolation this time?

A warning for next time.

@GordonPym

I had no clue what a fade haircut is and I googled it. Here this page has several www.pinterest.com.au/pin/782078291510718146/

It doesn't seem to be a cultural or mixed hair style but more a hairstyle for all that depending how high and extreme the fade is, would be .

It looks to me like a very trendy haircut for all ethnicities.

How old is he?

He has just turned 13.

I have googled Fade and it’s definitely a fade!

It will be the fade causing the issue.

Hair that is 1 and a half inches long is fine. My ds is 15 and has the whole lot shaved grade 3, which is much shorter than 1 and a half inches. Grade 2 would still be fine.

but at the bottom where your ds has a fade, the hair at that point is shorter than their minimum requirement. My ds has the shaved hair all the same length, at the edges it goes from the length it is all over, to nothing.there is no section with shorter hairs, ie. no fade. But then my ds isn’t very fashionable!

"I don’t want to come across as a ‘agressive back woman’ in saying something to school about this matter. "

Please don't feel like this! That is a stereotype used to silence black women. Speak up for your DS.

A lot of schools do have a very strong rule against fades, I don’t know why, but it is common. If it is just the fade that is the issue for your ds and that is equally applied to all pupils then you probably don’t have any grounds to complain about this particular incident. However, you could still ask them to review/clarify their hair style policy to make sure that it isn’t inadvertently discriminatory eg braiding etc.

It's the fade that is the problem, rather than the shortness per se. If it was a 1.5 all over the back he would probably have got away with it just. But the fact it fades from longer (in the rules) to drastically shorter (against the rules) is highlighting how short it is.

I dont mind the look of a fade, but I can see why school dont want haircut "trends" like fades/zig zags shaved into the temples etc.

I think the photos of the fade look really smart.

At the end of the day these are the school rules. Whether we think they’re stupid/pointless or not, they’re the rules. Uniform rules. Plain and simple. We all have to abide by rules in life - whether we agree with them or not.

If school have visibly noticed his hair is too short, then it’s likely actually way too short.

Have school asked you to contact them or are you contacting them off your own bat? If it’s the former, they’re probably just gonna say it’s an inappropriate length so that you know not to get it that short again. If it’s the latter, I wouldn’t bother. You’ll probably make more of an issue of this than it is at the moment.

Firstly op you are not in the wrong because you did not take him for a hair cut. How Dad did. Why are you the sacrificial lamb for your DPs error?

Can DP talk to school as it was his decision?

Otherwise if it's just 5he fads say you will talk to your Dp and will look at something different for next time.

I really don't understand hair rules in schools. Why on earth shouldn't a child of either sex shave the whole bloody lot off if they like? Indeed, I bet they'd be more tolerant of a girl doing it. Baldness is also in some cases naturally-occurring or unavoidable, so (although admittedly rare) it doesn't seem like something you can ban. Same as trying to ban things like hair dye - if people can naturally have bright red hair then you can't ban it outright (at least not without being wildly discriminatory, and probably racist) so it makes no sense to ban a blonde child from dyeing it that colour.

If anything having a maximum length requirement on afro hair would have more rationale, as it might prevent the child seated behind from seeing the board properly. That's the only case I can think of where anyone's hair style could affect anyone's learning.

I would drop his Head of House a completely neutral email saying

“x has come home saying his hair is too short, I’m slightly confused as I thought it was a suitable style. For clarity, can you describe the exact issue so that we can work together to ensure there’s not a problem again. A copy of the specific policy/rules would be helpful too.”

Not controversial or challenging, just a simple parental request for help. But it’s in writing, so that you get a reply in writing, which will be useful if this continues to be an issue.

It's not your mistake, it's his dad's. He should know the hair style rules of his sons school. You don't have to take all the school burden.

@Ohdeariedear

I would drop his Head of House a completely neutral email saying

“x has come home saying his hair is too short, I’m slightly confused as I thought it was a suitable style. For clarity, can you describe the exact issue so that we can work together to ensure there’s not a problem again. A copy of the specific policy/rules would be helpful too.”

Not controversial or challenging, just a simple parental request for help. But it’s in writing, so that you get a reply in writing, which will be useful if this continues to be an issue.

This is excellent. It also buys you a little time to establish the details of his haircut with your husband whilst also checking uniform policy etc.

@QuimReaper

I really don't understand hair rules in schools. Why on earth shouldn't a child of either sex shave the whole bloody lot off if they like? Indeed, I bet they'd be more tolerant of a girl doing it. Baldness is also in some cases naturally-occurring or unavoidable, so (although admittedly rare) it doesn't seem like something you can ban. Same as trying to ban things like hair dye - if people can naturally have bright red hair then you can't ban it outright (at least not without being wildly discriminatory, and probably racist) so it makes no sense to ban a blonde child from dyeing it that colour.

In my secondary school, bans on dying hair an extreme colour/ban on extreme or on trend haircuts/heavy makeup/branded clothing etc were to minimise potential bullying.

It was to try and level the playing field between those kids who had parents who would and could pay for/push for their kids to have the latest and greatest, and those kids whose parents didnt or couldn't give their kids anything.

It really did work.