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Black men protesting BLM but exclusively dating white women

509 replies

LillyFlower1984 · 02/01/2021 11:02

I’m always confused about black men or men of colour in the media and RL who shout racism/BLM and so on yet when you look at their lifestyle they are married to white women. When you go on to find out more they only ever have dated/married white women.... what are people’s take on this?

OP posts:
MaveMay1 · 24/01/2021 00:39

@Afromeg

chaille - I see you may have Ghanaian heritage or friends. Ask around, if you're privileged enough to know any Nigerian - born and raised, specifically Igbo people. Tell them you were having a civil conversation with your mother's agemate and from nowhere, told her to stop spouting foolishness. Come back to me with their answer.

Then go back and tell them when she fired at you, you called her 'bushgirl'.
Come back again with their answer.

Perhaps you can learn to not have the same style of conversation with everyone online. Anu!

I'm going to bed biko!

Your firing at me because you didn’t like my opinion and that is fine because I’m here to debate.

Don’t push your view onto me because I’ve gave some examples to do with hair textures and you want to be so nonchalant about it. Yet your coming back.

Why come back if your just going to shun my view on hair??

Speaking about Afro hair is a tight curl and if it’s straightened it looks longer.... I’m sorry?

Your not going to speak to me like I don’t know these things already. That argument is weak which black woman doesn’t know if she straightens her hair it will look longer.

Don’t insult me. Yet you want to be upset tonight!

MaveMay1 · 24/01/2021 00:43

All black women know if they blow dry there natural Afro hair out it will look longer. That’s nothing new your teaching us.

It’s patronising.

Afromeg · 24/01/2021 01:30

I have no issues with how people wear their hair and I already made it clear (For those who have serious comprehension issues and deliberate selective memory. I'm sorry for you! Hopefully they'll understand this one too but not holding my breath) but it's a shame that on a black women's board, this anumanu is spouting ignorance about black hair, something well known in the black/natural hair community and people are just watching. So, you're telling me no one here could call this efulefu to order on her hair ignorance (not hair choice. There's a difference)? Only 2 people?

Chai! I'm not surprised at all. This is why I say this board seems one kain one kain and mainly for ndi ocha ojii/oyibo ojii who only know what they want to know about 'blackness'/their own version. I'll remain on my Nigerian forum, biko when I want to talk about these things in full! This board isn't for people like me. Jisie nu ike.

MaveMay1 · 24/01/2021 01:52

@Afromeg this thread was not about hair anyway. I used hair an an example and it got to this because of what? Read back the thread? Who’s really ignorant? Who started slating who for their choices first? Okay then.

I didn’t hear you correct anybody when they were dragging black women about their choices funnily enough and you your a victim.

Abeg no this board certainly is not for you!

samosamo · 24/01/2021 08:18

Speed of hair growth is in about the same range across ethnic groups. Eaxh strand of curly hair varies more in thickness than straight hair. This is because the actual hair strand gets thinner at the point of the twist of curl. This is a vulnerable point in the hair shift and it breaks more easily than parts of our hair that aren't twisting into a curl.

So of you have straight hair your hair is less likely to break off with simple brushing etc.

Lucky curly haired people need to moisturise their hair to defend the twisty parts from snapping- its more likely to happen when the hair is started. I also expect oil on the shaft helps to protect these vulnerable parts of hair from friction of all sorts including brushes and combs.

So, to experiment, you can plant your hair and leave it, no brushing etc, keep it oiled and hydrated. It will grow grow grow, same rate on average as straight hair.

Whenever you are blessed with something precious, you must take extra good care of it.

Is every woman out of their teens trying to emulate white women when they wear straight hair styles. I do doubt it it. But also, when we do and we look in the mirror and think we look hot, are we completely free of the racist conditioning that tells us everything white is best? Probably not. That's not the same as wanting to look like a white woman, though.

Its worth nothing that every expression of phenotype is possible amongst African people. Every colour of skin, every type of hair. BECAUSE EVERYTHING STARTED WITH AFRICA. EVERY LAST THING.

Why we gave a history such that white people, who had spent thousands of years away from the Motherland felt they had to do what they did when they returned and try to convince everyone including (most importantly themselvesis another topic, but slightly related in my head is that actually white people try to look very much like black people.

samosamo · 24/01/2021 08:20

Sorry, my children came off the breast, whacked the phone abd posted it before I had committed to it. But oh well, the sentiment is there. I think you all have good points abd there is some truth in much of what you've all said.

samosamo · 24/01/2021 08:22

Happened again. I'm giving up! So many typos, but I hope I communicated the message anyway!!!

DivineRoyalty · 24/01/2021 08:45

Also, what this person dont understand is that most black women who wear extensions and false hair constantly on a daily basis are neglecting their natural hair. They do not moisturize their hair which leads to breakage and that's why they dont see growth when they remove their false hair. They rip their hair out by using the wrong tools, the wrong products. They have little knowledge of their natural because they invest a huge amount of time and energy running away from it. Hair growth starts with hair love. I have given examples of beautiful black women with beautiful long natural healthy hair because they cared for it. If you love your hair you will find out what works for it, if you hate it you will find every excuse under the sun not to care for it.

samosamo · 24/01/2021 09:17

We could have a whole thread on which protective styles actually work and protect!

Should I start that? I think i will

fairydust11 · 24/01/2021 10:04

Op - I am dual heritage my dad is black, mum is white - you think he doesn’t/shouldn’t support BLM because he is married to my mum? Seriously? 🧐 Love is Love. That’s like saying how can I support against homophobia and be straight? Should I only support against that if I am gay? The list of examples are endless, you don’t need to be black or date a black man or woman to support BLM 🤦‍♀️.

tootsytoo · 24/01/2021 10:46

@fairydust11 exactly. The two are not mutually exclusive and I think the OP is quite ignorant actually to have made such statements.

Afromeg · 24/01/2021 11:42

Either a liar or a confused human being - can't tell which one. Keep telling yourself what you want to believe perhaps that narrative will stick as usual.

Victim? LOL. Impossible! I'm no one's victim, let alone an insignificant Okpo's. No, that word is what you stand for. You can do that all by yourself.

If nothing else, I'm glad I seem to have inspired you to write two words from a different language that is not your borrowed "superior" one. You'll get there - Baby steps.

Afromeg · 24/01/2021 12:04

"This board is certainly not for you" - Gee! Thanks for telling me what I already know and said. I didn't realise I needed a reminder from you. Efficient Gatekeeper.

Afromeg · 24/01/2021 13:20

I'll just jejely drop a reconstruction of my deleted post without the word that got it deleted because this Okpo can claim anything in broad daylight and I think part of the post is necessary (for continuity) for people reading this bs:

"Eh! Aunty! Mba o! Behave yourself o! I've been nothing but courteous to you. I can fight fire for fire o! Who's spouting foolishness - me or you? Even while spouting your stupidity as fact, I was still respectful to you.

I don't need European made google to tell me what I know and have been around my whole life - You clearly do. Saying 'arabian mixed race gene is what will make an African person's hair grow fast' or whatever - do you know how stupid and ignorant that sounds? Ewu!

Respect yourself o! If you want to talk to me, come correct and respectful biko! < deleted word here >" (basically in the same category as stupid/foolish but okay - we all have our boundaries).

Afromeg · 24/01/2021 13:40

I can see samosamo knows the score too. Give them knowledge - That's what I'm talking about.

hereyehearye · 24/01/2021 14:40

[quote Laylared]@hearye You may be black skinned, but you can't be black at heart to write such ill informed, racist views on this forum.Men act desperate, women act desperate. It has nothing to do with skin colour and you seem to have missed the whole point of this thread. If you truly believe this about your black sisters, you need therapy. [/quote]
I know the thread has been derailed into weird hair stuff but this post is an exact example of how lazy and stupid these arguments really are.

If a black person disagrees with you they must be white inside! Do you realise how stupid you sound saying things like this? You literally cannot accept that other black people can have different opinions or experiences to you. If they do, you immediately try to invalidate their blackness.

I don't even understand why you are so upset. I am stating FACTS. I NAMED INCIDENTS in which black men were attacked for being in interracial relationships when they'd done nothing wrong. You think I'm being anti black for bringing that up... in a conversation about interracial relationships. So you are allowed to slander and insult black men but even questioning it is racist?

You believe I need therapy because I believe that obsessively policing black men's behavior and basically becoming black women incels is bad for black women? You are the ones who need therapy. To deal with your misplaced rage.

Hotpeppsau · 24/01/2021 15:59

@Afromeg

Either a liar or a confused human being - can't tell which one. Keep telling yourself what you want to believe perhaps that narrative will stick as usual.

Victim? LOL. Impossible! I'm no one's victim, let alone an insignificant Okpo's. No, that word is what you stand for. You can do that all by yourself.

If nothing else, I'm glad I seem to have inspired you to write two words from a different language that is not your borrowed "superior" one. You'll get there - Baby steps.

Why are you making assumptions on someone’s background? Does it matter.

Look within you started saying they were superior first?

Small girl you know di ting.

Hotpeppsau · 24/01/2021 15:59

Who*

Afromeg · 24/01/2021 20:06

Where did this one slink out from? LOL

panachronic · 24/01/2021 22:27

@MaveMay1

Such as Somalians? Because they have the hair from the Arab side which is more similar to a mixed race person. Other than that on the contrary Afro hair is slow growing. Like most black people have brown eyes not green! Hmm
It's Somali not Somalian Wink

And we don't all "have the hair from the Arab side" thanks very much. I'm on my own natural hair journey after years of blowing my hair out and then just wearing it in a bun and am now three years in, embracing the shrinkage and my glorious curls. European standards of beauty have a lot to answer for that and the lack of knowledge of how to take care of our hair. That is changing though see @iamblackgirlcurls + @cutitkinky @chocolatecurlsbeauty on instagram. Stateside unfortunately but you can still learn a lot. They have an e-book called "Wash your Damn Hair" which is has lots of fantastic information about the structure of our hair, what it needs (water!) and a comprehensive product list. Sorry to derail slightly x

Afromeg · 25/01/2021 05:08

More knowledge dropped 🙌🏽 ... and that makes 4 people.

Afromeg · 25/01/2021 05:47

Kai, didn't even see this. SMDH

it’s true they tend to have long hair and a nice texture.

"Nice" texture? Kai...sad. Others are what? Not nice texture? No wonder!

This doesn’t prove much how do you these women are full black? Did they tell you?

Kai! Long hair = Not full black, according to some people.

Don't know if to laugh or cry at some people's arrogant ignorance. I thought this would be in one of the Black 101 courses.

And I was here arguing with someone who still peddles this self-hating (yes, with these two nonsense statements that should be left in 2010, it's self-hating) bias and basic misinformation as fact. Not surprising, judging from all the other nonsense spewed here, but disappointing.

Some people need their devices confiscated till they can develop common sense first. That way, they'll learn to filter (mis)information on Mr Google...even with very little lived experience. Or atleast, humbly find the right videos to properly educate themselves before attempting to have a conversation. Mtcheew!

DivineRoyalty · 26/01/2021 08:16

OP, Chrissie did a whole 3 hour live show discussing this matter with other black women. She also has a lot of videos discussing colorism.

Please ignore white women and mixed race women trying to scold you for opening up a discussion that affects black people ONLY.

3 hour live show:

The problem with seeing every victimized black man as your son+princess warrior propaganda:

Black women and girls, the shield and the sacrifice:

Dark skinned black girls deserve better:

White women for love, black women for labor:

There are more, you will find your way through when you go on her channel.

DivineRoyalty · 26/01/2021 08:37

@LillyFlower1984 please check out my post above.

DivineRoyalty · 26/01/2021 10:43

@LillyFlower1984

A trending video of a black man scolding other black men about this issue. I guess he is a desperate black manGrin

Swipe left for the next trending thread