The PESH deli for those who are realising there are real live baybees at the end of this.

[rots]

BESH BAYBEES
dontrythisathome, Bay Amaryllis born March 25.
Cheggers, twinz girlz, born April
FannyPriceless, boy, born June 8

UPDIFFED
CUNextTuesday, takes no shit from the Daily Mail, due June 28
IggyPiggy, The one who loves BUMSEX, due July 20
CurlyCasper, hospital botherer due July 21 (girl)
Skihorse, cradle snatching web geek, due July 22 (boy)
Carrots, organic hippy hunter, due July 25 (boy)
Cosmosis, the one that likes a good ride, due August 22
backinthebox, she bought a racehorse, due September 6
skatergrrrl, the one that overtook the rest, September ??
VAG, lives in De Nile, due 19 September
silversky, the biggest farter, due 21 October (first baybee)
Honeymoo, no it's not fucking indigestion, due November 2 (boy)
okiecokie, self-confessed control freak, due November 6
SomethingSuitablyWitty, benelux babe, due November 14
ReginaMonologue, big pants, 5* hotels, Bridget Jones due November 20
maswera, jungle hottie - due November (???)
PollyPoo, wants to name her baybee after the dog, The New Messiah is due December 25

Perhaps I should bet on tomorrow . Or would that be insider trading?

cas I love juice lollies - freezer full of them, but Del Monte ones not home made. Am just coming round to yours... (not for a dog biscuit one though)

some have dog biscuits and carrot. sure she'll share with ya cunty

Just bought me a 2L Platypus for labour, a buggy parasol and a Tummy Tub from ebay. we gave serious consideration to the latter and I am now looking forward to plonking my child upright in a bucket.

OH is slightly perplexed that I don't want to join him atm in building decking in the baking hot garden.

I'm home, being looked after and feeling a bit better. Muser thanks for the sympathy . It's bad when you can't even be pathetic accurately. It was a very difficult day at work (everything going wrong kinf of thing).

Here's one dilemma:

New employee on a work trial, which is where the job centre pay him dole while he works for us for 4 weeks and we decide whether he's any good. Sounds like slave labour (works for me ) but actually makes sense as usually only one in about 3 people work out ok, and it takes another person off the line to train them, so it costs a lot to take someone on. Obviously that's part of running a business, but the work trial really encourages you to try someone you may not otherwise do so actually I think it's a good scheme.

So we have this bloke. Let's call him Dave. He's young, early 20s, has been out of work for months and after two days on the job enthused that it was just what he was looking for and he was really pleased. He works hard, has picked things up quickly and being the decent non-slave-labour user I am I was going to take him off the work trial at the end of this week (a week early) and put him on normal wages, as it seemed he was worth it.

However, last Monday Dave phoned in to say he couldn't come to work as he'd banged his head. He then turned up on time for his shift saying he decided he'd better come in. When questioned, he said that he'd banged it the night before when sozzled. OK, so he's in. Seemed ok, worked fine.

This morning he's phoned to say he's not coming in because he's got a migraine. He's going to the doctors about it today.

Now, around here, it's usually not possible to get a doc appointment for 2-3 days, which we see when the guys are genuinely ill. However, it seems that whenever they get something (minor or serious) that seems dodgy, they immediately get a doc appointment.

I need some AIBU thoughts here please.

I think that if you actually get migraines, you'd have it sorted with meds to hand, you'd not have to go to the docs for them. The story seems dodgy.

He's been going out at the weekend drinking (we know this as fakt and it's a constant problem with our guys who aren't quite recovered on Monday) - therefore it's likely to be a hangover masquerading as a migraine for sympathy/a better excuse.

It could be a genuine migraine... do we take on someone who gets them and is likely to be off a lot? Is that just being discriminatory and evil - yet when people don't turn in it makes a massive difference to production/everyone's bonus/customer satisfaction in a very competitive industry? (I'm not talking about MAC here BTW).

It could be a hangover in which case he's somewhat of a Monday morning sickness prospect having done it two Mondays in a row while on work trial (even though he changed his mind and came in on one of them).

Do we give him a chance as he's a decent worker, which is not easy to find, but I'd rather a mediocre and reliable worker than a good but unreliable one?

I really don't know. I'm not trying to be a draconian bitch. I just Don't Know What To Do because it's not just about profit or turnover, it's about keeping a small business running efficiently enough to survive and it's people's lives we're talking about.

Normally I can make these decisions. Now it's over to you.

So this is one of the things I was fighting with today. The rest.... just everything going wrong and I'm tired and worn out and I want to stop working but I can't because this stuff will still be going on and I need to deal with it.

PS I'd gone for cunty last night or today. That gives me to midnight tonight.

Incidentally, don't slate me for not having sympathy for migraine suffers because I really, really, really do.

I am just not at all convinced that it's not a sicky.

I also have the dilemma on the other side of the problem of taking on a migraine sufferer who may need a relatively large amount of time off.

BUT if everyone thought that, anyone with any health problem which meant time off would never get work. And I think that's awful.

keep him on the trial for the full 4 weeks and see, if all ok then take him on but on probation so you can get rid after 2 months (or whatever period) for whatever reason you want?

One of my colleagues suffers migraines. I don't doubt it - but they do frequently occur on wednesday. Wednesday is half-day at schools here... Since we've been allowed to work from home she's had far fewer migraines. Being a young'un - I'd be more wary about his drinking - 2 mondays in a row is NOT good form - especially when on trial - and it's only a month's trial fgs! If I were trying to make a good impression I'd drag myself in and wait to be sent home. But that's just my work ethic I suppose - I know not everyone's like that. Is it possible to extend his trial on a "temp" basis or would that completely fuck him over wrt benefits should you not take him on?

I phone interviewed someone today who dialled-in 10 minutes late. I've hired him anyway but I did make a snipe about him not "forgetting" to go to the airport.

I'd also sit him down quietly, just you and him, and ask if there's an underlying problem with monday. E.g., childcare issues? looking after his folks? Give him a chance to explain. If Mondays are "no good" for him, but he's basically a good worker and a good fit for the business, what about 4x10 rather than 5x8?

Can you not sit him down and have an honest convo with him? After all, it is in both your interests to get this right from the start.

You say that whilst you are not doubting the pain of migraine, you do doubt whether it needs to be sorted via a doc. Say to him that it is crunch time for you both. You like his work and his attitude but you are a small business and you need reliability and people who are going to give a little bit extra, even if they feel shabby after a bit of a weekend. You never know, it might be the push he needs to pull his socks up - a bit like toddlers and boundaries

Happy Monday. Wot a biatch of a day. Absolutely crazy. Thank goodness it's over.

Major milestone today! I have actshalleeee purchased a baybee related item. Yes siree I did. Boots have a sale on < SALE ALERT - BOOTS > on Tomee Tippee gear. So I got me a breast pump at half price. Cheaper than the sale price from TT direct. Saving myself forty big ones. plus lovely cashier went and got me a voucher for 200 extra points from the kiosk. . Think I may go back and purchase the steriliser kit too and maybe some breast pads.

Must say feel a bit weird buying stuff and worried about jinxing things but Husband is being supportive.

Husband even accused me of nestingcos I cooked dinner, watered his plants, broughtthe washing in and made my lunch for tomorrow. Hardly nesting more like mundane frigging housework.

I too sort of am in public sector employment and we all know you don't do these jobs for the cash.

boxybox iz you short haul or long haul pliz?

Welcome back vag ! Happy hols? Me wants hols.

Question for all your muvvers! If I am to buy baby clothes what do I get? Eg to get us going from birth and for a couple of weeks ? like newborn only goes up to nine lbs, what if I have a whopper? Guess just have to deal with wasting cash if clothes too small as will need to wash them beforetbe birth etc. All advice welcome.

Thanks for feedback everyone.

"You say that whilst you are not doubting the pain of migraine, you do doubt whether it needs to be sorted via a doc."

Not at all. I just would assume that if one suffered from migraines, one would already be sorted out by a doc (BUT I don't suffer so I could be wrong). I doubt the migraine rather than the effects of a genuine one.

I can extend the trial period, not on the work trial but by taking him on properly and putting him on probation while paying him properly. You all are right, I do need to sit him down and have a proper chat. I guess I'm a bit jaded on that front having done it sooo many times, and I'm just so tired I don't have the energy to try to motivate someone else. I think that's the problem more than anything. I'm not usually bad at managing people

Thank you cos, ski, cunty I'm going to do the chat thing and see how it goes.

silver LC was born at almost 9 Lbs and I didn't use a lot of stuff I had for him! Either way they grow out of them in weeks. I would say, 5 or 6 sleepsuits (the type that have arms and legs), the same number of poppered vests as yours is coming in the winter (the type with no legs and either short or long arms - you can put them under the sleepsuits). A couple of hats. 3-4 pairs scratch mitts. 2-3 swaddling blankets. 12 muslins. Bibs if you are bottle feeding. You might want to buy some "proper" clothes but TBH they'll wear them once so why bother?

What I mean is that you say that to him - ask if it's an ongoing thing and whether he has anything to deal with it when it arises as it's unlikely a doc would do much other than prescribe painkillers. Not that this is your attitude to migraine, IYSWIM.

In fact I'm not even sure I understand me now. As you were

rots what size should I go for ?

cunty makes sense. Yes, I can use the fact that he's gone to the docs to clarify the suffering regularly question. Good one

silver well I wouldn't bother with newborn size. I would go straight for 0-3 months. You can always get your OH to nip out to Tesco and buy a pack of little ones if required. (Bloody hell, I can't believe I said that). Obviously I would prefer you to buy lovely organic cotton ones!!!! (nice ones here LOLOL

)

Boxy sorry to hear about your ongoing job nightmare. Mine was made redundant about a year and a half ago, and part of the horror was the stress of just not knowing what was coming next and if we would manage and keep the house etc etc. Luckily it did work out ok and he was self employed for a year, and now is back in a job (thankfully so we know where we are each month) but still I know how hard it is. Particuarly when he can't just turn around and tell his employers to get stuffed.

Ski why do you have to upgrade your pension immediately. Can't you wait until you are back to work? Ours let's you take a break during maternity... surely they must have provision for the same thing?

Silver I've bought a few newborn things but mainly 0-3 months in size to allow for growth. I've already been told he's measuring a week ahead of his age and as I'm tall they think he will be tall. I was over 9lbs and my brother bigger, so god only knows what will end up coming out!!

Rots I'm going to be totally unPC and say that I think you should give the impression that you are mightily fucked off whilst all the while saying the right things. Personally he needs a kick up the arse... It really annoys me that HR policies stop you basically having a go at someone who's work ethic is nil. I'm sure there is a way of letting him know that you need people who are committed and won't let you down. It's taking the piss. Also, if he's doing this now, what's he going to be like in 6 months or a year?

Cunty get shagging and wine drinking, maybe bounce on your ball for a bit whilst doing the above. I want a BAYBEE tomorrow on this thread OK?

Big BESHY hellos to Muser and Laurie... do you think Gin might pop in to say hello and have a quick brie pizza?

No major news from me. Baybee is kicking a bit. Dog is a mad a bit. And husband is driving me round the twist with his iTunes obsession.

Lots of comments about bump today - wore a fitted top for the first time and boy did people noitce. Very funny really. Lots of seats on tube so no opportunity to test that out.

What pelvic floor exercises do yiou all do? I can't help but raise my eyebrows and clench my bum muscles when I do mine. Looks odd in the lift.

honey That was cunty's pension I think.

cunty I'm sorry you're facing this right now - it's really crappy timing. IME one year's maternity "entitlement" is a flawed system. I'm not sure many employers dish out the full wodge for 12 months (correct me if I'm wrong!) - so whilst entitled to 12 months, most will find themselves in the position of collecting SMP. The irony is of course, is that if one can survive on SMP then perhaps you'd have to question whether the person in question "needs" the money or whether it's "pin money" because clearly someone else is picking up the tab for life. I am "entitled" to 2 years off in Julian's first 5 years. I'd be cutting off my nose to spite my face though to take it being as obviously the majority is not paid for. So there you go... it's a safety net for those who "need" it - and north london yummy mummy coffee morning money for those who don't.

silver I'm only a first time so don't have okie/rots/fanny's second-timer wisdom, but I think I've only got one "newborn" size, the rest are 0-3 months. I figured I'd just roll up the sleeves and he'd soon grow in to it - he's supposed to be long-limbed.

ski if you knew how undomesticated I am then in his eyes I am def now nesting. Hilarious.

Thanks for the clothes tips - 0 thru 3 mths it is. Will check out that website and see if I can afford owt. Do like the baby gro/sleeping baggy thang.

Baybee is not moving this am and am now paranoid!!!

silver All the sales will be starting any day soon so you'll be fine - plus, do what rots and stingy me do, think about buying stuff for the future - if you like it and it's 3 quid why the bloody hell not? Have you sexed it up yet?

I too am not a fan of "domesticity" - I've far too many animals for that. We don't even do ornaments (of any value!) due to wagging tails and there's a dressage saddle propped up on top of the tumble dryer. So yep, the laundry room pretty much smells of horse.

As for non-moving baybee, have a high-GI breakfast and see how you feel in 30 minutes. Nothing gets Julian moving like a good glass of juice - OJ hits the bloodstream quicker than sugar - fo shiz!

Am bored of puking. Took anti-ms pill at 6:45, puked heartily at 7:30. Plz that childbirth will cease ms?

Muser won! It's a good month in the BESH household!

Was having ishoos with troos y'day in thatnu the end of the day they no longer fitted! Resulting in sore tum and my work chair giving me jip and was worried that I had strangled or hurt the little person. I know it's ridiculous but then who said being preggo made a gal less menkul!

Have downed pomegranate juicy thing with toast and now feeling something, not the usual push or prod so could just be my guts rumbling !

May go back to Boots again today and buy the electric steamer or maybe not.

It's darn nice to be working, I wants to be riding.

Congrats to muser!

I did win, is very exciting. But I am not going to join the Deli until I've had all the tests that prove this one is where it should be. Scared of tempting fate. And a bit scared generally. But very, very happy.

muser!!!!!!! yay!!!!! can understand you not joining just yet, but you can lurk around the doorway for a bit, no?

If we're doing nekkid dancing does anyone want to touch bump-fluff?

Alright lasses (that iz my northernness coming through). Tis last day before holidays and have shit loads to do but here I am catching up on fred. Delighted for Muser - you have had a shit time and deserves a nice sticky (in the right place) one! I will have a mojito on holiday to celebrate

Re 0-3 mths. I made the mistake of only buying these and had a 7lb 12oz baybeee and they drowned him. He was in newborn for a good month or so - I had about 4-5 things and repeatedly washed them. I also agree with rots in that those sleepysuit things are ace and more than adequate for a good couple of months. I kind of avoided normal clothes for as long as possible as I just thought they made him look grown up and like a little boy and not a baybee anymore so instead bought various types of sleepysuits and a couple of cute "posh" ones like White Co and Boden and for future MAC (which I now know about) for special occasions.

Cunty I am going to go for 5th July - a nice week late. Sorry if this kills you but it has dawned on my that I will be away and may miss all the excitement (me me me!). Someone pls to text me if there is any news!

moo I will pop that stuff in the post today.

FP you do right on the discharging thing. They seem to discharge really soon - perhaps that is a good sign but a mothers instinct is worth far more than a MW or HV opinion IMO.

Right better work though my million and one tasks and muchos joyous wet fish slaps and bump fluff bumps to muser again!

Ooh, missed lots. Obviously, first and foremost, congrats to Muser! Nice to know the PESH deli will have enough inmates to carry on long after the current mob are gone.....

Rots just thought you might be interested to know what my employer does wrt potential slackness vs genuine illness. Clearly we have a lot more employees here than you do, and therefore have a team to manage it, but they are shit hot on what is and what isn't allowed, and I am sure you could pick up a few ideas. My boss monitors 'pattern sickness,' which is important being a 24 hr a day, 365 day a year business - you find some people get ill on a Friday afternoon a lot when they are due to work a weekend, some get sick every Christmas, some get sick whenever it's Wimbledon, etc. So we have a clearly laid out 'support program' to 'help' people be less ill at such predictable times. Clearly if you try and stagger into work on Christmas Eve on crutches you will be told 'no, you are definitely not going anywhere except home.' (That happened to a lady I know who had managed to get a trip over Christmas with her OH and they had planned to take their kids, and she was begging them to be allowed to go but they sent her home - ruined her Christmas. But that's another story.) Anyway, the whole program is set out and applied to all employees and is made clear to everyone. So you know if you have a problem with Mondays you will be investigated. The first way managers deal with it is sympathetically to see if there is an underlying problem like childcare or alcohol misuse, and to offer assistance in sorting the problem out. If that doesn't work there is a 3 steps to sacing disciplinary procedure. Phew - long and complicated, but the way a big boss does it.

Silver I do both - multi-talented! Wot you after? No can do upgrades atm - striking dollies on the warpath over that issue, sorry!

Okie I know what you mean about not having them in grown up clothes. DD was in babygrows forever, and denim was a banned fabric in her wardrobe until a couple of months ago, but it tunrs out she won't wear denim even when it is Next's best stuff with lovely embroidery and coloured buttons sewn on it. (Today she has gone to the childminder in a hot pink frilly sundress with a bead necklace, big floppy sunhat and a big pair of Peppa Pig sunglasses. She is more of a diva than I'll ever be! )

Last night went to bff's house and took risotto ingredients round to cook for her. She has booking in appointment today - she is on MN but not here yet - if you are stalking me, come on in! Well, OH decided to launch into the cooking before I was ready and before her OH was home from work, and kept telling me to butt out when I tried to have a look. When I did get a glimpse he had only used half of the ingredients and there was probably just about enough for me and my friend. I pointed this out to him and he disagreed as he had read the amounts the packet recommended. Hmm, methinks he forgot he was cooking for 6, not 4. So we all had starter sized portions.