December 2010 - good-bye flat tummies (as if I had one... ha ha ha)

[Persnickety]

Right, I've done the honours. This is our new thread.

And don't forget the stats thread

Also met a slim lady with 6 month old identical twins yesterday and she told me she put on 5 stone, OMG!!! She'd obviously lost it but it scared me. What is a normal weight gain?

Wow that sounds a lot but it depends if she was talking about before or after the twins were born. If it was 5 stone when still pregnant a lot of that goes with labour i.e. two babies, fluid etc. IYSWIM

Japhrimel if you're really worried about ante-natal depression you can always talk to your midwife, mine told me at booking that it's being recognised now and feeling down when pg not just put down to hormones raging.

JodieO hope you feel happier soon, it sounds like you're dealing with a lot at the moment. Don't worry about venting on here that's what MN is for.

I finally found a dress to wear to a christening we're going to soon, I've been looking for ages as I don't want to spend a lot on a maternity one that probably won't get worn again, but don't want to look massive in a big maxi dress (I'm a size 12/14 and most make me look huge). Found a lovely jersey maxi dress that's clingy but at the top and nice and loose from the waist down. I was dredding having to wear the dress I wore to a wedding last year as it has a low back and halter neck and the only bra to wear with it is uncomfortable now and would be a waste to buy a new one to wear once.

Thanks for the support on the depression issue. I'm doing a bit better now I've admitted to myself and DH that I'm struggling - and he's helping to try and reduce the stress of his brother's wedding next month!

93pjb - we've done a project and in your situation, I would say only do it if you will have enough funds to get professionals in and do the needed bits (roof, windows, heating, electrics, kitchen, bathroom, childrens bedrooms) - and remember to add at least 50% to your budgeted amounts as extra things always turn up.

I'm another with itchy nipples at times. 93pjb I have one bra that fits perfect, planning a trip to Inverness for some serious shopping for me/house/garden in a couple of weeks once OH on holiday.

Mull is lovely 93pjb, you were almost in our part of the world. Special place for me, OH and I got back together there 7 years ago when we went in a group to celebrate my brother and another friend's 30ths.

whatwillsantabring, try and find someone you can talk to about your feelings, your mental health is just as important as your physical health. here are some links, don't know how good they will be, but might give you some info.
www.depression-in-pregnancy.org.uk/HomePage.php?p=ProfessionalHelp.html

www. babycentre.co.uk/pregnancy/antenatalhealth/emotionalhealth/pregnancyblues/#12

spanishlady ha ha re looking at baby's nose, OH was trying to see if ours had my family or his family nose! Wasn't clear enough to know.

jodieo we are hear for the good and bad stuff, so don't worry if you need to have a rant or feel down.

lavitabella I imagine looking after twins would burn a lot of calories. So a programme about a woman who had 5 babies at same time, and when they were a year old she weighed less than she did pre pregnancy, and she was thin already!

glad you found a dress crazycat japhrimel good you have opened up about your depression

Morning ladies,

Looks like it'll be a lovely day.

Sending everyone happy thoughts.

Hello everyone

Sorry it's been such a while. I have no reason really - I've just been crap. I've been lurking and reading everything though.

Had my second midwife appointment yesterday and nearly cried when I heard the heartbeat. Most unlike me, it must be the hormones! The midwife was absolutely lovely too and gave me a thumbs up for all my blood results, even the iron levels, which I was expecting to be on the low side because I don't eat much meat. I'm now rejoicing in telling everyone I'm non-syphilitic - it just tickles me that they test for it.

Experienced mums I have a question. Do you have any control whatsoever over what your child calls you? I would dearly love to be a more continental mama, rather than a mummy but not sure how realistic this is?

Spanishlady I think my little one definitely has my DH's ski-slope nose! If it's lucky it will have his gorgeous Italian looks.

Hi Greengeekgirl just wanted to say my partner is italian too so i'd also like to be a mamma. We are going to try and speak as much Italian at home as possible as i'd love our kids to be bilingual. Do you speak much italian? and where in italy is your hubby from?

Oh he's not actually Italian. In fact it's a distant relative way back when that was but for some reason the looks have been totally undiluted through the generations. It's really bizarre actually. DH has exactly the same facial structure and colouring as his mother, grandmother and great grandfather!

DH and I both speak French though and I have lots of family in France, who we visit often (In fact I'm off to see my cousin in Toulouse in Sunday). We would love to bring our children up to be bilingual. I think it's such an great thing to be able to speak more than one language fluently.

Hello all! Haven't been around much, sorry. Just catching up on everyone's news. Everything fine with me at 16 weeks, and it's 95% certain we're having a boy (too early to be sure). Very excited as we have a dd already so one of each!

Oh and gaaaaaaaaah I want to be at Glastonbury so badly

Hi everyone. Waiting in for midwife at the moment. She just gave a two hour slot so I've had to put my Mum on standby to pick up DD from nursery.

GreenGeekGirl they will pick up on whatever you call yourself. It's weird, but when you have a baby you just slip into third person - 'Mummy's putting on your socks' etc, so if you say 'Mama' then your baby will pick up on and call you that. I think that's lovely. Of course, when they're older you can't control what they call you!! DD is currently going through a phase of using mine and DH's first names as well as Mummy/Daddy. She's also started to pick up on her older cousins just saying 'Mum' and will occasionally call me that, but I prefer Mummy.

I'm with you on Glastonbury as well.

Heading4home glad all is well and congrats

Hello all - sorry I've been absent for a while. We were camping over the weekend and since being back down at work have not really had the energy to post in the evenings - sleeping for 10 hours a night at the mo, one bonus of being away from home is I don't feel guilty about that!

Seem to be expanding massively at present but still not putting on weight (still 10lbs lees than pre pg)- Dr appt on monday to get registered with new midwife down here. They still haven't found us a house but I think my boss is going to get involved now so hopefully that will chivvy them up.

Agree with wholelottalove - LO will call you what you call yourself/ DH/DP - my DD normally calls me Mummy except when she is annoyed and then it's MOTHER (said in that exasperated tone with hands on hips that only 4 yr old girls seem to do!)She also likes calling my DH by his first name if I do - she thinks it's funny so most of the time I end up calling him Daddy!?!

Oh well I've given the rest of the dept time off this afternoon to go and watch the football so I think i may join them - just the thought of going down those 46 steps again for the 20th time today!

Afternoon ladies! Just though I'd say a few words while the office is completely empty!! Everyone is in the boardroom watching the match, just had dominos and soft drinks at half time so I am nicely full!! I have no interest in the football so thought I'd do work instead!

I was starting to feel better but have now begun to regress and am feeling like crap again! 14 weeks today so I know I should be getting better, hopefully it's a little dip before the blooming!

I am also getting fat...and quick! Not bump, just fat! But ive only gained 4lb since date of LMP! For those repeat offenders out there...did you suffer more with an achey belly 2nd (or 3rd/4th etc!) time round? I was in so much pain yesterday as I had worn tights under my bump and a dress so had been hanging free all day...I'm convinced it's because my muscles are screwed from carrying DS...anyone able to agree with me? Or am I just graspping at straws when in fact it's just me being fat and droopy?!?!

I now weigh 11 stone... (I was 9.6 before PG)...

bad times!!

Will take a photo later (when the mass of mac and cheese has gone down, and before I eat a tonne of fruit )

Cant believe im 17 weeks, im sooo tired!!

Hope youre all ok in the sun, I took DD swimming at my parents which was like a little piece of green heaven

Oooh, I'm trying to catch up, but very very slowly.

DF & Persnickety good luck for amnio & CVS.

Jodie - You are unbelievably strong, I wish so much that I had the balls to do what you're doing. Same sort of things as you, he's incapable of caring for them, and even though I've been to SS & so have the hospital (ds2 had a severe burn to his hand that was left untreated and xp didn't even tell me about), but they're not concerned whatsoever. They (and the courts) don't care that he takes lots of drugs and has his druggy mates round. I simply don't have the guts to do anything about it, I'm too scared of him and his ability to manipulate people and make it look like I;m the bad guy. (He beat me up when we split up, he pleaded guilty, but magistrate did not award me compensation because "I deserved it", magistrates words, not me twisting them. Anyway, enough of me, you are bloody strong to be doing it and I admire you massively for being strong enough to be able to stand up to him.

DF - hope you manage to get something sorted with MIL. Put your foot down now with DH. I'm fortunate that my PILs now are great, get on with them brilliantly and they won't be over the top and in our face when baby is born. I can sympathise with you entirely though as I had the sheer hell of XMIL actually staying with us (in our 1 bed flat) when I had ds1. Still makes me angry now. "I'm going to hold him, you can hold him anytime you like" (erm well I'd like to hold him right now thanks). And "Oh you're so hungry, you want feeding don't you. Nasty mummy not feeding you" (You won't let go of him and I can't cut my boob off so someone else can feed him). This is after about 15mins of me saying can I have him please, I need to feed him.

Thank goodness I've got my counselling this week, I really need to let a few things out!

Well I had my 16wk appt today. Heard the heartbeat for the 1st time, which was great, really strong, although baby kept wriggling out of the way each time she found it. DP also felt it move for the first time last night too. I reallt didn't expect to be able to feel the movements outwardly yet, but it was definitely baby. So he hasn't stopped talking about it all day and his hand has barely left my belly just incase!

I will continue to catch up with everyone elses news over the next couple of days.

GGG if it helps, my LO often calls me mamma and no-one has ever referred to me by that and none of our relatives are continental. I have to say it's my favourite thing that she calls me

Midwife came and got to hear the heartbeat for the first time which was brilliant She also had a feel and said 'ooh yes you're growing well' !!!

Bad news is, the swab I had a few weeks ago when I went up to hospital and had early scan has come back positive for Group B strep. However, I had another swab two weeks ago which was negative. Midwife has suggested I get tested again at 36 weeks. If it is negative, all fine, but if positive I won't be able to have HB as they recommend you go into hosptial for IV antibiotics. Trying not to worry too much as there is nothing I can do about it for now.

She also sorted iron tablets for me, and apparently the swab the other week showed I have thrush so she's sorted a prescription for that too... I can't actually believe the catalogue of things that seem to have happened this pg - the heart shaped uterus thing, suspected ectopic/cysts, urine infection, anaemia, group b strep, thrush and that lump under my arm which turned out to be cyst! Just listing it all is making me feel a bit I really, really hope that is it and everything is plain sailing from now on.

RaceyLacey your ex MIL sounds charming. Sorry you're having so many hassles with your ex and hope the counselling is a good session for you.

Hello Everyone, too much to catch up before bed so only going to reply to this page sorry everyone else

Lavitabelle 5 stone , but I suppose two babies could be nearly a stone, and placentas are massive! I know you were worried about the babies being early but it is amazing how well prems can do these days. My cousin was born at 26 weeks and although thing weren't plain sailing for a long time he is now a strapping, boistrous 4 yo.

crazykat I think the fashions at the moment are really good for pg people. When I was having DD in 2000 there was nothing suitable around, I wore awful maternity stuff and DH's massive tops.

japhrimel Glad your feeling a bit better, and that DH is supporting you.

GGG and Maxpower Both my DC called me Mama, I've only recently been plain old Mum.

Heading4home congrats on the probable DS!

*MrsSnaplegs, Hows it going in the new job? Hope you get a house soon.

emma I had to wear a bump support for about the last 10 weeks with DC2, the midwife gave me one. I am starting to get the aches again but only when I've been walking loads.

OWO Your parents have a pool, I am in fact I would still be living at home if mine did, I am a water baby!

RaceyLacey thats lovely about the movements and heartbeat. Good luck with the councelling, that is terrible about the magistrate.

Wholelotta Great news about the heartbeat. Sorry you are suffering with other various afflictions, I have been this time, I feel my body has read a list of crap pg side effects and decided to have all of them! Lets hope everything else runs smoothly.

Saw consultant yesterday and am now on daily clexane injections until baby is 6 weeks. Also have to have glucose test at 28 weeks as it's possible DS was so much bigger than DD due to undiagnosed gestatational diabetes, she assured me they would monitor babies size closely and tell me whats going on this time.
Started back at work this afternoon, everyone really nice and helpful except the SN teacher who is my supervisor.
Feel really shaken as witnessed a horrible assault between a man and woman also a child involved, was really brave/foolish and stepped in, then had to give a statement to the police. Thought I was fine but got home and threw up then burst into tears, DH went mad when I told him what I'd done but adrenaline just took over.

Sorry for the mammoth post, hope everyone else is well and healthy and happy.

Wholelottalove - I'd try not to stress about the GBS at this stage and just make sure you get re-tested before 36 weeks. The whole "you must go to hospital" if you get a positive GBS test is so wrong IMO as you can have it one week and not the next. My MW said that even if you have it at 36 weeks, you might not have it come the birth, but they're so strict about their guidelines. And meanwhile most people with it don't get tested so don't even know to be extra careful about monitoring the baby!

I'm seriously considering avoiding swabs if possible so I don't get into the whole issue and then just monitoring the newborn very well and knowing all the signs. I want a homebirth and don't want to take a-b's unless absoluely necessary - I get thrush from them usually, so god only knows what issues they could cause at IV strength!

Sorry you feel you're struggling with everything. I kinda feel the same. Feeling very sorry for myself as SPD has started up to join my dislocating hips. Plus all the "usuals" of bad skin, thrush, piles, blah, blah, blah. Pregnancy is NOT fun.

I've got physio this morning and am praying they can help me. It's getting worse so fast I'm going to be spending most of this pregnancy lying on the sofa if I don't work out how to help it soon. I do not want to end up on crutches.

Heard pip's heartbeat at my MW apt yesterday though which was fab. The MW warned us it could take time to find it and then found it straight away, booming away. She also thinks the nervous-butterflies-in-tummy feeling I've been having is the baby! I've since realised that maybe I shouldn't drink a cold drink before trying to eat a meal - I've been feeling a bit sicky from it and I'm now wondering if it's because the cold drink has been waking the baby up and making her more active. Makes more sense than me getting nervous about eating pizza, lol!

Who else is hoping for a homebirth? DH got excited about it after discussing water births with the MW yesterday. She said that if you birth in the water (and lots of their home mummies do) then either the Mum or Dad usually brings the baby to the surface. DH really wants to get involved, bless him!

Has anyone else been looking into hospital options (as back-up in our case, hopefully). I had thought I didn't want to go to the hospital in our PCT and would prefer one in the next PCT that happens to be a bit closer. However, after talking to the MW, we've decided to go with the more modern hospital that's a bit further away. I'm hoping that I'll only end up in hospital if things aren't going perfectly and in that case, I'd prefer the most up-to-date hospital with the most evidence-based guidelines and the more baby friendly policy. Plus one of the differences is that at the other hospital they get you in for induction at only 10days past EDD and then it's a 4 DAY induction process . Don't think I could cope with that...plus if we get to 10 days overdue I'll want those 4 days to try anything to get things moving!

Wow, sorry about the mammoth post!

Hey Japhrimel where do you find out so much information about your hospitals?

RL absolutely horrified at what the magistrate said - he should lose his position for that.

I'm glad (does this make me evil) that some others of you have already put on a lot of weight - I put on half a stone in the first eight weeks! Luckily it then stabilised for the next four weeks, but still, I think I'm going to be huge!!

WhatWillSantaBring - most of the little details I got from talking to my midwife yesterday. I'd let her know in advance that I had loads of questions so she'd scheduled an extra long appointment for us.

Apparently a lot of the guidelines are now online anyway though.

I asked lots of specific questions, like what is the local policy/policies on induction, what's the parking situation, etc and it brought out a lot of detail.

For example, although the maternity ward doesn't have it's own parking, it has a drop off point and they give you a parking permit if you're in labour, so that makes parking a lot easier!

And I asked what the policy on formula in the hospital was and she said they're adopting a baby-friendly policy, where formula will be there in a cupboard, but no one will offer it for non-medical reasons.

I'm a research fiend on anything. If I don't know something, I get panicky so I prefer to udnerstand all the variables up front.

These are good places to check up on your hospital choices. (although even now is a bit late to get in anywhere that is in high demand)

www.birthchoiceuk.com/Frame.htm

www.drfosterhealth.co.uk/hospital-guide/

And these are things I would look at:

1. How many theatres do you have?
2. How many anaesthetists are on duty through the night? During the day?
3. What is the caesarean rate? (I would look for a high one because I want a hospital who will be unlike to decline my request for one - although after two of them I think I won't have a problem)
4. How many private rooms do you have and what do they cost?
5. How many beds are on a ward?
6. Do the beds raise electronically (this is very important for a section because the most painful thing after will be going from lying on your back to sitting up -- oh and laughing may be close second.)
7. What are visitor hours for dads? Anyone else?
8. Obvioiusly, if you want a home birth, then travel time to the hospital is crucial.

The number of anaesthetists is important because you may want to know if there will still be someone to give you an epidural if an emergency crash section shows up. If there is only one aneasthetist he/she will be in theatre with the crash section. And you will be left to deliver without epidural. (top tip: if they want to break your waters and you want an epidural don't let them break waters until you have the epidural because sometimes breaking waters makes things move quickly and then you will be told it is too late for the epidural)

Morning all

Being such a lazy moo today, still in my PJs!!!! Have been doing a few things but more procastinating than action.

Have a friend coming to visit tomorrow and saturday, that is if he gets here, he's cycling quite far today and tomorrow.

Hope everyone has a good day

Hello all!
Hope everyone is well and hoping with the heat. A bit cooler here today thank gawd!
I have a midwife appointment this afty (16+1). i can't remember from last time but do you get to listen in with the doppler at 16wks or is it later. Today would be nice!

Had a fab visit with my Mum last night, I came home with 3 bags of baby clothes (BIG bags). i have a nephew who is 5months and she bought loads he never got into, ie grew so quick, so lots of unworn vests, babygrows, cardis etc. Some are blue/boyish but majority will go either way, was great fun sorting through!

Cheers Persnickety! Really useful, thank you, and I'm def with you on being a research fiend!!

Any other first time mums or new users of mumsnet find some of the people on here (not this thread, I hasten to add) a little, shall we say, evil, bigotted, bitchy cows???

Just been reading a few of the discussion topics and some of the abuse hurled around is appalling!

Better go - three hours of meetings this afternoon, oh the joys!!!