December 2010 - good-bye flat tummies (as if I had one... ha ha ha)

[Persnickety]

Right, I've done the honours. This is our new thread.

And don't forget the stats thread

Emma, hope you and your DP are OK. I think most of us go through things like this with our partners from time to time. It's horrible while it is happening. I find that DH and I are particularly likely to argue if we haven't spent much time together - and that is a situation that can so easily happen with everyone leading such busy lives these days.

As for your work colleague - what a t*sser. The guy clearly has no idea. Sounds like you need more moral support at work - luckily for me, most people where I work have children, and a good proportion of the women are part time. And in my experience, those part timers work harder than some of the full timers, because they are absolutely paranoid about being perceived as "letting down the team". (I would include myself in that group .)

DF if I were you I would appoint your partner as the gatekeeper when your MIL comes to stay. (Thank GOD she is not planning to stay with you - small mercies and all that.) It is unreasonable to expect you to have to control the demands she makes on your time after you've had a baby, so DH should be provided with a list of house rules that he is in charge of enforcing (no visits over 2 hours, etc). After all, it is HIS mother. After I had DD my MIL came down one day, ostensibly to help, but really she was no help at all - she kept saying "tell me if you want me to do anything" - but I didn't feel like I could say "righto then, the loo needs a clean". So she just sat there while I made cups of tea. My own mother is so much more help - before I've even noticed, the house has been magically tidied and dinner is in the oven!

Sorry - rather long post, but just to say I had my 16 week appointment this morning, and heard that lovely woosh woosh sound of the baby's heartbeat. Lovely start to the weekend. xx

Thanks for your support emma and sorry to hear about you and DP. Hope things work themselves out x

Had successful nuchal scan yesterday although I ended up being in the clinic for 4 hours !!!!

Still, baby wasn't co-operating so we watched it on the scanner for an hour, which was lovely. Results were fab - DS risk is 1:6334 which is the best you can get, so I was very pleased with that!

Sympathise with everyone over the do I don't I wear maternity clothes debate - my bump grows during the day so I can often get 'normal' clothes on in the morning which I'm busting out of by the time I get home from work. Plus only 2 people at work know so if I suddenly turn up in maternity clothes, which I find have the habit of making you look more pregnant that you are, I'm sure eyebrows would be raised!

Anybody else find it awkward breaking the news? Immediate family know and my manager and a close work colleague, but I just find it daunting going around to people saying oh BTW I'm preganant... I expect it's becasue you're then subjected to the mandatory pregnancy questions!

maxpower Yay for a great scan.

I still find it hard to tell people I am pregnant. I went public to work people and extended family and friends by posting a funny picture of my and my DH's belly on facebook and hoped that word would get around work after that but it's such a big place that I am still having to tell people when they come in to my office. Sometimes I just don't say anything even though I can see them checking out my belly because I feel so silly blurting it out.

Those who do know are defaulting to the constant asking of 'how are you feeling'.

How did the shopping go Dueling? Hope you're not still feeling sick.

Slightly it's lovely to hear the heartbeat, so reassuring

Maxpower Glad the scan went well. I announced mine on facebook after the scan but I'd already told some family and friends before. Was quite an easy way to do it I found.

Have to rush, ds2 having a 3 year old tantrum....

Chloesbaby - 1.5mm is a good nuchal measurement. What it should be under varies slightly depending on your date when scanned but if it's under around 2.4, that's good.

Emma - DH and I had a row this morning too. Made it up thankfully, but I think I'm being irritable and he's getting tired looking after the dog and me (normally I look after the dog so DH is not used to be woken up at 4am just because it's light therefore the mutt thinks it's morning!).

maxpower - I'm finding it weird telling people too. DH put it on facebook and twitter (after asking me, bless him) but I haven't yet. I'm just telling people as I have to.

japhrimel - I was scanned at about 13 weeks. Would this mean that a thicker measurement of 2.4 might not be as bad as it seems?

My hospital said they wouldn't offer any further testing unless the nuchal fold was over 3.5mm. Dueling I think as long as you're under 13+5 weeks then the measurements are accurate (to within their degree of accuracy).

Decided to have a film day today with popcorn etc, been really nice Got a few for me and dp to watch later too.

Anyone been doing much today?

Hi- please can I join you? I have been lurking for ages! This is my second pregnancy, my DD is 16 months.
I was looking forward to feeling a bit more relaxed about everything this time- and then found out I am expecting twins! Hurray! I am so excited. Is anyone else in the same boat?
So officially I am due on the 29th Dec but I guess it could be any time in Dec?

DF - up to 2.8mm is normal by 13+6 weeks:

www.babycentre.co.uk/pregnancy/antenatalhealth/scans/nuchalscan

I meant to write 13+6, don't know why I thought there were only 6 days in a week....I swear my brain has turned to mush since I've been pregnant. My sonographer definitely said they don't do anymore unless it's over 3.5mm though so I guess it must vary by hospital. I'm in Cambridge.

Welcome ilovecats

and thank you japhrimel my 12 week scan three days after the nuchal measured me at about 13 weeks 5 yet my measurement of 2.4 at the nuchal put my risk up a lot. The bloods then put them down again. That link has really helped me put things into perspective, maybe 2.4 that late is not so bad.

thanks DF and Jodieo

Welcome ilovecats you're not our only twin pregnancy on board so you'll find some others around.

DD and I were supposed to have a movie afternoon but she fell asleep so I cuaght up on some sky+ viewing instead. Other than that I was hunting down father's day cards and presents. Not that I left it to the last minute or anything

Lol maxpower I've made dp a card from the baby and also bought him a little something, my dc's have made him a stepdad card too which is nice. I need to see my own dad tomorrow to give him his card and presents too.

Welcome ilovecats

Started potty (toilet) training ds2 today, tried a few times in the past but it upset him too much so left it until now, he's 3.5 but both dd and ds1 were about this age too so I've not been too bothered yet. One wee on the floor so far, I'm hoping he gets the hang of it quickly considering his age.

I've had a crappy headache all day which is only just starting to go now. I'm putting it down to the smoke alarm going off at 4am for no reason!! The upstairs one went off and noone else woke up, only me!! I couldn't believe it. I checked the kids rooms, all upstairs and went downstairs too, double checked all the house but nothing was wrong. Took me until 5 to get back to sleep. Still can't believe noone else woke, it was going off for about 20 seconds and then stopped and went off again for about 10.

All day it's felt like Sunday, I feel like I've missed out on Saturday hehe.

My nuchal at 12+2 was 2.8mm, then rescanned on 12+5 at 2.7mm. Even the 12+5 puts me beyond the 95th percentile. Everything else was good. But, after much agonising soul searching and statistical analysis, we have decided to go for a CVS. Everything was good, apart from age of 40, which was obviously never going to change. 3.5mm is very high, I can't believe they won't do anything further with a lower reading.

I am so distressed over all of this. But, when push comes to shove, I really cannot bear the though of a second trimester termination which would involve an induction of labour. How truly horrible that must be. So I/we have decided we have to know the score now and not after 20 weeks.

Something else to bear in mind is that if you would terminate, you have to do so by 23 weeks. So, if you get test results at 22 weeks then you only have one week to make a move.

Before about 14/15 weeks a termination involves being put to sleep and them removing the tissue. I am now 13+0 so I am going to cal FMC on Monday morning for the next available CVS.

Gosh, this is all so horrible. I hope no one else on this thread has to go through this agonising decision of whether to go for invasive testing.

Dueling, when is your amnio? I think it's coming up.

The FMC has a really good booklet on everything you ever wanted to know about the nuchal, and then some. Some of it is a bit hard for my feeble mind to understand (like some of the statistics), but very informative.

I plotted my 2.7 on their chart and was a bit stunned to realise how abnormal this reading is.

Oh, also, the nuchal grows in proportion to the body. So, as the CRL increases so does the nuchal and this is why an older/bigger baby can have a bigger nuchal reading.

I would be very happy with a reading that was less than 2.0. 1.5 is definitely good.

FMC booklet: www.fetalmedicine.com/fmf/FMF-English.pdf

I thought that too Persnickety but that's what she said to me, that their cut off point is 3.5mm for the nuchal alone. I suppose a lower result could still have a higher risk, depending on other factors. They took into account my weight, smoker status, previous pregnancies and bloods (think that was all and obviously baby measurements) when calculating the risk. I should hear back about mine soon. I suppose if my bloods make the risk a lot higher then they'd offer invasive testing.

So sorry you're so upset, I'm not surprised tbh. I hope your cvs goes as well as it can do under the circumstances. I'm 99% that I won't be having any further tests no matter what my results come back as but I can't say for sure until I've been in that position.

I think 24 weeks it the cut off for viablilty, my cousin was 23+ something and had a termination, she found out late (waited for amnio) that she was carrying a baby with downs syndrome and decided to terminate. You can actually, technically, have an abortion right up until term if you can get drs to agree that it would cause you considerable mental and/or physical pain to carry on with the pregnancy. Obviously these would only be granted under exceptional circumstances I would hope but that it the law as it stands I believe.

I can't think of my baby as "tissue" though, I saw a baby and it was definitely not just tissue. I'm pretty sure it isn't always as simple as just them suctioning out the baby either, I think various methods are used depending on position, gestation, etc.

Persnickety my Amnio is on 29th. I'll be just over 16 weeks (depending on whos dates I trust!) and am not sure how long I will have to wait for the results so I could be 18 weeks by the time i know for sure.

One good thing is I am seeing the consultant who has a 1 in 300 risk of miscarriage. He charges £400 privately but also works for the NHS. I am more scared of the result than I am of miscarriage to be honest.

Hope it goes well Dueling wouldn't wish miscarriage on anyone, I've had 5, my last was this year and it was awful.

My hips are killing me So glad I have my first physio appt through for Tuesday and it's local. Have a busy week ahead though with loads to do, which won't help. Just hope they can do something to help. I couldn't carry on with the physio in my last pregnancy as my waters broke at 22 weeks and I was on bedrest, ds2 is lucky to be here at all, it only really hit me afterwards how lucky he was. Hospital was amazing.

My birth ball is helping a little but it feels like bone is grinding on bone when I walk at the moment. I also bought a dream genie pillow and that helps so much at night.

thanks Jodie. I had a missed miscarriage last year and opted for medical management (taking a pill) which is something I would hate to do again.

Sorry to hear about your hips

Sorry to hear that Dueling I've been "lucky" enough to not need any management of mine.

Thanks, it's been crap today and I've not done a huge amount. Was a little worried as after sex last night there was a little bit of bright red blood, tiny amount and nothing since so I've not called anyone about it. Seems OK today too but I'm quite wary now!

We told DD (3.11) about the baby this evening. She looked thrilled, wanted to see my tummy and told us what she will call the baby and all the things she's going to do with it when it arrives. So lovely.

DF and persnickety this must be a terribly stressful time for you, thinking of you and wishing you all the best.

Thanks everyone for kind words of support.

What is your DD going to call the baby? If we let our DD (7) choose a name she would call the baby "Snowbelle". Every time she gets a new stuffed animal she names it Snowbelle, and then has to rename the previous one something else.

Well I think I had the worst nights sleep I have ever had last night. Was awake all night! Kept getting a pulling sensation on my tummy in every position. Grrrrr!

We told our 3 year old nephew about the baby. The first thing he asked was.."How did it get there?" lol trust him. The second thing he told me was that I couldn't drive fast anymore in case the baby popped out

Huge hugs for Persnickety and anyone else who is having a rough time or waiting for results.

15+3 today, and have just finished the most fantastic bacon roll (even if I do say so myself lol!). We always have bacon buttys on special occasions and Fathers Day is one of them. Not at all pregnancy related really but my mouth has been watering since I picked up the packed on bacon at Tescos this morning and seeing as I just don't feel for food at the moment, it was a lovely treat!

I'm looking forward to my 16wk+ appointment with the mw next week, can anyone remember if they listen for babys heartbeat at 16 weeks or is it later than that? I can't remember, was 4.5yrs ago since I was at this stage with DS!