10/10 Chats - Over Halfway There

[AbFabT]

Chat away!

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Hermya I like the dress, but it is very low. Perhaps a nice organza stole would set it off and make you feel less self conscious as well as looking pretty. You'll also have flowers and jewellery on of course so that'll distract from looking down you top.

AbFab your maternity may is calculated on your pay at the 15th week before childbirth - i.e. 25 weeks so you've past that point now and your maternity pay will be based on your full time rate - that's the law so unavoidable for them. However, if you go part time, then any right to return and subsequent maternity pay will be based on those terms and conditions. You could, of course, try and come to an agreement with them that you need to make suitable alternative arrangements for working during your pregnancy that may mean you are temporarily part time, or doing some work from home if that's possible, until mat leave but your underlying contract remains at the full time terms. Hope that makes sense.

Thanks, ILGH - that helps a lot! Good to know!

abfab I hope work goes ok for you today.

In other news my Dh has stolen my chocolate buttons, but not only that he left the open packet on the side in the kitchen with only 3 buttons left in there to taunt me of his evil misdeeds!

Thanks, Hermya.

What a meanie DH! Three buttons - you're better off with none - three just leave you wanting more!

Hi Ladies,
Back from holidays and just marking my spot.

I haven't had a chance to read through the last couple of weeks posts but I hope that everyone is well!!

Hermya stolen chocolate buttons cannot go unpunished. I hope you are developing a suitable penalty!!!

BTW - is everyone elses bump going a mad at the moment? Must be the heat but BB is kicking so hard in the night I can hear the thumping coming through the matress! I LOVE IT!!

Hermya I'm sorry I missed all the bridesmaid dress talk last night! I thin it's a nice dress and flattering, but I agree with you that a size up might help with the low neckline. I've not always nee comfortable in low cut tops either so I know how you feel. I'm going to be a bridesmaid in a couple of weeks and luckily am the only one. My SIL was a bit difficult about it as I had to put off dress buying dues to being pg and not wanting to tell people until after the 12 weeks scan. But we eventually found this dress and it's very nice - not too low and fits nicely. Boo to DH nicking your chocolate buttons! It's the kind of thing my DH would do too...

I had one of my sisters as a bridesmaid and my 12 year old niece plus two little nieces as flower girls. One of my other sisters made my dress AND all the bridesmaid dresses (she's amazing!) and so my bridesmaids chose the styles they had and we chose the fabric all together. They looked great and were really happy with their dresses.

Dilly thanks for suggesting those trousers from Jojo maman bebe - I actually popped into town last night and bought a pair from H&M although had to get a size 16 (I'm usually a size 12). All other shops the maternity 12s fitted fine but I didn't like the styles, but H&M are tiny sizes. At least I hope they are - if I'd only looked in that shop I think I would have cried - I can't have grown 3 sizes!

Hello everyone, had my 25wk appt yesterday and my blood pressure seems to be dropping each vist! its now 100/50. I'm going to apologise for not responding to people, but you all talk so much and I've not been on much, i'll try to keep up better!

mamjo funny you should mention the kicking- I was going to ask how much everyone is feeling. I read somewhere that you should expect to feel 10-12 kicks in a day, but sproglet can easily do that in a few minutes! DH and I were at Summer Madness this weekend (a Christian Youth Festival- we were helping with a group) and sproglet went mad with the bass every time a band played. I think (s)he enoyed themselves too! Like your baby, some of the kicks are really powerful- enough to move my arm if it's resting on the bump at the time. I love it too, especially as sproglet often responds to talking and it really feels like we are already building a relationship. Btw, did I mention that sproglet also loves lifts? Anybody else noticed this?

hermya the dress looks lovely, but I agree that a larger size is a good idea to solve the low-cut problem.

piesey don't worry about the size change. I know they say you should be in the same size clothes, but I don't thik it's calculated very well. I've gone up a size and even those things are getting tight now and I know I'm not getting fat in other respects.

Can you tell I'm trying to avoid doing work? Sorry for long post!

PS mamjo did you manage to see the GP in Valencia? It was an exciting race - go Kobyashi!!

You guys really do talk a lot, it has taken me ages to catch up!!

Glad your blood pressure is better Roo. I am paranoid about blood pressure but so far mine hasnt been too bad.

The kicking is great, baby kicks loads especially when she hears dh or the dc which is wonderful - hadnt noticed lifts but she loves the swimming pool and baths!

Hermya I think the dress is lovely too. Definitely would recommend a size up though as I seem to be getting bigger by the day at the moment!

I have gone up a dress size too but I havent put any weight on according to the scales AND my bump is now bigger than my boobs!

My bridesmaids all wore the same dress but I took them all shopping and we chose something they all liked and suited them. I will try and find a picture later! My dress was beautiful but I found out I was pregnant a couple of days before my wedding and my dress didnt fit at all. It really dug in and was soooo low that it was almost indecent! I lost the baby just after the honeymoon However I married my dh so it was all worth it!

Poor you no chocolate buttons. I have been craving homous (sp?) this week, my cravings change weekly on average! A couple of weeks ago it was tinned sardines!

Is anyone else really full up all the time though?

Abfab was it today you went back to work? Hope it went well!

mamjo, my baby is wriggling about nicely! Has been for a month! I love it. Prior, was being a lazy rascal and I'd started to get a bit concerned - so all this moving is totally welcome and I love it!

piesey, that is a great dress. Hope we get to see a photo of you in it!

Roo, I know - it moves fast! Glad your BP is ok.

I'm back home! Had a long meeting this morning, they went over what I'd missed while I was away (making a big deal about all these new projects, as if she'd been making it all happen, which was pathetic as it's been ongoing for years, making out it was all oh so complicated when actually it's very straight-forward etc - basically making a big deal about not much, trying to justify why she was promoted!), how things would progress with us working together, and went overboard with how much they all want me back, how sorry they are for things not being right from the start, again just saying all the right things in front of personnel. However, I tripped her up when she was talking about what my responsibilities would be, as one of my gripes has been that she has totally taken over even the minute details, and that my job HAS changed (even though they keep maintaining it hasn't) and she was left looking like a fool as it was obvious she still wanted to be overseeing every tiny little thing I did, which they'd just said they wouldn't be doing, and her example just proved yet again that they'd taken some of my responsibilities away from me. Idiots!
She also went all patronizing of me, going on about how popular I was and how everyone really missed me and wanted to see me, how happy she was for me with my pregnancy, how she valued my knowledge and how they were keen to utilize all my skills and experience etc etc blah blah blah - totally sounded like she'd been coached to say all the right things, and was very false (as in, she was being false - it's not false that I am very popular, ha ha!). In some ways, this false niceness is worse than when she was being so unpleasant several months ago!

Anyway, I started to get very upset again in the meeting, probably not helped by the fact that I've had a couple of hours' sleep each night for the past two nights (due to fretting about work) and I was actually struggling to breathe I was sobbing so hard. Very embarrassing, but hopefully the silver lining of that is that they know clearly how stressful this is for me. I was a bit surprised the personnel officer didn't stop the meeting there and then, and suggest for my health and that of my baby, I see my GP again rather than continue. I was severely distressed, and I think I was actually hyperventilating. :/ I know you don't really know me, but I am so not a drama queen.

I also stated I felt totally unsupported by the manager as he twists things and denies things, which is a point I am glad I made, as it's very valid re why I will struggle being back in that department, with that environment.

Personnel Officer suggested I go see the people in my department this afternoon to ease me in, and then come in tomorrow to start work proper, so did that, the one guy who is also battling management was great, the rest were a bit awkward.

12 and a half weeks max to go.

shieldbug I am afraid that our contact let us down with the GP tickets so we watched on TV, but it was very exciting. I have just been up and down in the lift but can't say I noticed anything from BB but then this is only a 2 story building so maybe (s)he doesn't have time to get excited, or your having a little astronaut!!! I know what you mean about the strentgth of the kicks though - when I wheel up to my desk it is like (s)he is trying to push it away. Whenever hubby lays his hand on the top of my tummy it is like BB is boxing him, lots of little combinations of kicks and punches, but when he touches lower on my stomach BB stops moving, very wierd but brilliant that we are already interacting!!!

must stop rambling now!!

abfab sounds just awful, I hate all that corporate correctness bllocks that comes out on those occasions!! never mind, not long now and all the politics will melt away. take care and as my old nan used to say "dont let the bstards get you down"

ooh must sort out my potty mouth - 2 swears in 1 post!!

lilmiss, thanks, yes.
I look forward to seeing the photo(s)! Sorry you lost that baby though.

sorry about that - must remeber not to use 2 * in 1 post

Thanks, mamjo. You hit the nail on the head re all the politics and special work-talk. Aargh!
Re the swearing, well, sometimes it's warranted!!!

Can you all tell a kick from a punch? I can't.

Yeah - making things bold on MN in a bit hit and miss!

is

AbFab your meeting today sound horrific! Do you think you should see your doctor again as it does not sound like a healthy environment to work in? On the positive side at least you got some stuff off your chest about your manager!

I hate false people, they make me really cross!

I think you are amazingly brave to even consider going back to work there!!!

oooh I'm terrible with my potty mouth at the moment! HAVING PROBLEMS CENSORING MYSELF! and with caps lock apparently!

Thank you, it was v sad at the time but then I wouldn't be here with this LO and you lovely ladies! so every cloud..!

oh I thought that meant I had low bp! it was normal and it seems to be getting lower IYSWIM.

Thanks, lilmiss. I think I need to show willing. I don't want to approach it negatively, but I just don't see me lasting 12 and a half weeks there, knowing I've got a totally unsupportive manager who lies and denies everything, and twists the facts, as well as this new line manager he's lumbered upon me who so obviously looks down on me, but is now having to pretend (in public) that she doesn't, who a couple of months ago revelled in humiliating and belittling me but who now all of a sudden really values me??? Yeah right. I will see how it goes, but if I continue to have sleepless nights and am in tears, I will be off to the GP, and at least now I have an update for her. Nothing is worth risking this baby for.

AbFab I'm surprised you didn't just chuck up all over the desk at all that drivel...ugh! Don't worry, you've never come across as hysterical. Sorry it's all so rubbish. You're right about seeing the GP, you risk getting high BP from all this so you'd get signed off anyway.

Baby Toby is a great one for the zooming about. He also stops though if his papa puts his hand on my lower tum. He tends to go for it late in the evening when we're in bed so DH can really feel the kicks which is ace. He's not liking that the skirt I'm wearing today is a bit tight (fair enough, nor am I!) but does like music and goes to sleep when I do yoga or aqua aerobics. He often starts up when I talk about him, most unnerving!

O so busy today - yuk
xx

Abfab I am so feeling for you right now I did the same had time off then went back to be faced with the fake niceness etc etc . I don't know what to say other than keep reminding yourself who you were before all this happened, so don't be embarrassed about getting upset/ hysterical, it doesn't mean that's what your like normally, its just a response to the dreadful situation you are in. And I wonder whether perhaps it would be a good idea to go back to the GP now and regularly, they can keep an eye on your blood pressure but will also be able to be kept abreast of things as they develop.

lilmissmummy yes mine kicks when s/he hears DH talk too, its really sweet (although makes me suspect favouritism already!!) .

roo so glad your appointment went ok, its always great when they do

DH has just left to go away for 2 weeks, I'm going out to see him for a couple of days next week but it still feels like a long time. I used to be really fine with him going away, I just got on with my own life, but he hasn't gone away since last December as his job's changed, so I'm not used to it anymore, and I also find since I'm pregnant that I just need him more, when he went away for just a few days I really missed him and wanted a hug, I think its probably the hormones but I do find it weird how many different ways pregnancy has changed me. It is lovely having a hug goodbye and the baby getting a kiss (and a raspberry ) too though.