10/10 Chats - Over Halfway There

[AbFabT]

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Been out all afternoon at the carnival. Was in part of it( I missed out the hill & waited for them to loop round. But spent about 3 hours on my feet which has got to be pretty good for my fitness. Back .& hips aching now. Hips ache at night too so I think it's something to do with staying in one position.

Fed up of people saying 'can't have long now' and looking when I say 15 weeks. But just saw my reflection & I really am that big!

Elsa, have you thought about having a doula for your birth or, if you could afford it, an independent midwife. Basically someone you really trust, knows what they are doing, and can advocate for you during your antenatal care ,labour and post natal care? I had an independent midwife for DS2 (planned homebirth but she could have been with me in hospital although not permitted to deliver the baby there for insurance reasons) and it was the best money I have ever spent.

Re getting comfy at night, I got my dream genii pillow last week. It's really really good, it holds me on my left side pretty much all night.

Got my anomaly scan tomorrow when I'll be 23+1. Bet they tell me it's a boy after all!

elsa I'm having a doula for my birth, it is something to consider. We met ours last week and she was so lovely and made me feel so positive about the birth. She also had lots of tips regarding my SPD as well. I feel it's going to be a very worth while decision.

Forgot to say dh finally felt baby this am. He has told practically everyone we met today

nymphadora I'm that big too! It gets annoying doesn't it? People give you a look when you say '15' weeks (well they do me anyway! and you wonder what they are thinking... !

nymph, moonstorm sounds like you are catching me up in the bump stakes! My rate of expansion has slowed a little thank goodness. Your dh sounds so sweet nymph.

Just had a rotten afternoon. After excessive sneezing, hiccuping and other side effects of hayfever I threw up . Sproglet seemed to know I was having a hard time of it and moved around in a distressed sort of way. Well, that's what it felt like anyway. Perhaps just my imagination. Feeling better now anyway and mil managed to get me some beconase so things are looking up. Off to bed now I think.

I had the highest bid on a changing bag on ebay, and some harpy came along and nipped in at the very last second!! I'm annoyed, but there is another one. I shall not loose this one.

I was given a support belt from my physio, I know I shouldn't whinge but it adds a bit of padding to my waist and now most of my trousers don't fit . I'm still not sure if it's helping or not. My hips hurt worse with this thing on than they did before.

Shieldbug I'm sorry you're not doing too well at the moment, are we allowed beconase when we're pregnant?

Nymph Bless your DH, he sounds lovely.

Hermya what's your support belt like? I got one from mothercare and it's actually pretty good. I have another, more structured one which is also good - they go under the bump, holding my hips together it seems. They have really helped along with the work the osteopath has done. The pain is currently localised around my si joints and sitting bones, rather than working it's way round the whole pelvic area and down to my knees. I've got another osteopath appointment next week when we're back home in England - back to the one I had with last pregnancy. I still have high hopes for staying off crutches. Are you avoiding bending down whenever possible?

Off for my scan in a few minutes so will report back later.

Tired after yesterday. Took kids swimming this am& it was nice just to float about & feel light for a bit. But the getting out is awful, just gets heavier & heavier until I'm out!

ILGH It's like this this one. I've started to look for an osteopath around my local area, but I don't want to go to one only for them to make things worse. I'm going to ring the pelvic partnership and talk to them tomorrow and see if they can recomend them. I'm going to get a bump band and see how I go with that as well.

Grrr feeling dreadful today. This I have some sort of summer cold without the runny nose! Every muscle and joint hurts and I keep switching from being too hot and too cold. I am thinking of not going in to work tomorrow, I can barely stand upright

Sorry to hear about all of you suffering from spd, I can't inagine what it must be like to have that on top of everything.

Can't belive there is still 3 months to go!!! What on Earth will I feel like by then!! I can't remember how I felt last time, but surely it wasn't this hard! Thinking of stopping at two!!!

Nymph I love that light feeling when swimming, too I should really go more! It hits me how heavy I am everytime I get out of the pool!

Ah, Hermya I got this one and am wearing it much lower than in the picture. I do hate velcro though.

Moonstorm sounds like a day in bed for you.

Just got back from scan. Still a girl.

ILGH Yeah I'm wearing mine right on my hips just below my belly. They're not very nice are they.

my huge sympathies to hermya and ILGH about the spd, it sounds really tough. Really hope you are able to find some ways to make it at least a bit more manageable. I've found it frustrating enough having limited mobility for a day or so with a bad ankle (loads better now) and I just cannot imagine how tough it must be to be struggling with spd.

moonstorm that sounds miserable, poor you. I hope a bit of rest today helps but if not then yes it sounds like you need tomorrow off work!

I have just had a ridiculously hormonal and teary moment. I know I'm sort of making a mountain out of a molehill because of my hormones but that just makes it more frustrating! my parents live at the other end of the country, but offered us the old crib for when baby was tiny. DH is too busy for us to get up there at the minute, so I asked them to bring it down when they came down here on holiday this month, so I would be able to get bedding etc in plenty of time. Well they have arrived and decided not to bring it as they are 'coming down again in October' ...they will be arriving on my due date, talk about cutting it fine . I know there's a good chance the baby will be overdue, but equally DH and his siblings were all a little early. Plus I just wanted to start getting the house ready and stuff set up way in advance so I can relax and feel like its sorted. We can find the money for a crib but then my parents will be offended, and plus I'm not a fan of shopping and this way it felt like one less thing to research. It just got me so upset, as it was one thing I could have had ready, whereas the pram etc will have to wait until mid-august when DH will finally be able to take enough time off. I also suspect my mum did it semi-deliberately so we decide to travel north again before my due date, but I really don't want to, I'm not a fan of car travel at the best of times and I'm especially nervous now I'm pregnant (I've got a bit of a car phobia since my first boyfriend was killed by one ) Sorry, rant over, and I'm calming myself down with a big dose of chocolate! I'm not being totally silly though am I, surely leaving getting stuff till your due date is a bit risky?

Oh Tiredfeet you poor thing!! Parents can be a bit infuriating at times can't they. Remember it has been many years since they've dealt with the hormones of pregnancy. I would agree with you regarding leaving stuff to your due dates, my friend went into labour this week (she's 32 weeks) so I guess forarmed is forwarned as you never know what the heck is going to happen. You could always talk to them and ask them to send it up, or borrow a moses basket until you have the crib. I mean you can move the basket round the house during the day, you can't do that with the crib. That way you wouldn't be offending your parents if they question it.

Tiredfeet I really feel for you. After giveing birth at 35 weekds last time, I am well on the wat to getting organised this time. I wanted everything organised by 33/34 weeks and then relax. Is there any way of taking it apart then getting Parcelforce to bring it down? x

yeah I have calmed down a bit now with the help of the chocolate. I knew it was partly the hormones overwhelming me but it was just so infuriating that it was a deliberate decision by them! I'm thinking either get it couried/ buy a moses basket may well be the way forward, so thank you for those suggestions at least then the baby would have somewhere to sleep if I pop early. Plus I just like the idea of getting everything ready in august and being able to get excited about it, if that makes sense?

I think its partly because my mum had all 4 of us two weeks late, so she just assumes I will be the same. But I don't want to count on it! DH and some of his siblings were several weeks early. My mums a trained midwife so you think she would know that babies can get here early grr!!

Tiredfeet How bizare, maybe they're trying to keep the crib hostage in return for their Grandbaby. It totally makes sense for you to get things ready early anyway, that way you can just concentrate on the art of cake eating in your last few weeks of pregnancy. My plans for late pregnancy involve me, cake and copious amounts of tea.

I dunno if you remember the whole MIL/us going verses them coming here issue a while back. But it seems it has been solved, my MIL has said that she was thinking of coming up and then staying in a hotel and seeing us during the day when she'll help out and such. This is my ideal solution really and I know my MIL will ACTUALLY help out and not mind me being a pj clad slattern.

ILGH, glad you are still having a girl! (Not that there's anything wrong with having four boys, of course.)

tiredfeet, I'd be really annoyed too. Grrr. How infuriating! I take it you told them why you wanted it now as opposed to October?! What WERE they thinking!

No real news here. Am due on 4th October so how I am calculating things, I am six months today. I know it doesn't exactly work like that though!
Getting more and more baby bits together, feel like it's coming along well.

Got my work meeting tomorrow with the boss from hell and his sidekick (who also caused me loads of grief), really dreading it, they are so manipulative and spin-doctory (pretty much their job, actually!!!), I just hope the Head of Personnel can see through them, and continue to support me. Wish me luck! I'm really wanting them to suggest we call it a day, with only 13 weeks til my due date, they can afford to just pay me to be off and do without the hassle of me doing the formal grievance thing.

Abfab If you call it a day, will it mean you handing in your notice? Or will it be more of a planned leave thing then you going off on maternity?

hermya at concentrating on the art of cake eating! that is definitely my wish for the last few weeks, that and to read a lot of novels and watch lots of films. That sounds like the perfect solution re the in laws, I'm so glad they have suggested it. Its what we've gone for with both sets of parents too. That way you get some privacy and quiet time (and they get a decent nights sleep) but they also get to spend time helping you and getting to know their grandchild.

abfab lots of good luck vibes going your way for the meeting tomorrow. I really hope you get the support you need from personnel. I truly hope you are able to reach an agreement with them that leaves you able to relax for the rest of your pregnancy. I will be keeping my fingers crossed for you as I remember the feeling of the weight lifting off my shoulders when I finally left my job with the awful boss.

Thanks, Hermya and tiredfeet.
Hermya, no, my ideal result would be for them to suggest I stay off and don't get stressed. I am entitled to six months' sick pay, which I won't claim all of as I'l be on Maternity Leave before the six months expires. I won't hand in my notice as I need to be able to claim my maternity leave!
I simply don't see a solution here that would make my return to work pleasant - they've made it abundantly clear the stance they are taking - I tried for that back in February, and stuck it out miserably for two months with it getting worse and worse, with my manager doing nothing to make things better. He's not the type to back down at all. I honestly think he'd be happy to be shot of me for the next 13 weeks, and keep the temp.

Yeah, tiredfeet, the weight off the shoulders thing is what I am aiming for. Just don't want to have to keep going to futile meetings where the manager just carries on like he does, but I think I've had to go through the gently gently process rather than immediately threatening a formal grievance, as that way it looks like I've tried. But I just can't be doing with any of it now, life's too short, and I just want to get on with enjoying my pregnancy.

Thanks lots for your support.

Hermya, Ilgh, tiredfeet and moonstorm I hope you are all feeling ok. SPD sounds terrible, you have all my sympathy.

I've been through the wringer this weekend too as Ive had severe constipation to the point where after a very painful night I rang the maternity assessment unit this am to ask for advice on what to do next as I was seriously worried about something rupturing! I'd tried eating figs and soft fruit all day yesterday and it was just awful. I was up every hour through the night till about 4 and I couldn't stand or pee come the morning! I sent dp out to get what the mw recommended but nature finally took its course while he was gone thank god. At least I've got stuff on hand now. I'm really really scared of it recurring. The thought of another 17 weeks of it is terrifying! I've just been out for a walk to get my blood circulating and I'm planning to make sure I exercise even if I'm really tired from now on. I never had this with ds - this pg is so different.

oh tiredfeet that is the kind of thing that would really get me down too... last time, my DH left everything so late even though i really wanted to be prepared so i could relax. My DD came 4 weeks early (not all first babies are late!) We had no moses basket (we were borrowing one from a friend) and we were in the middle of doing up the bathroom.

Thankfully my mum arrived the next day (supposedly for my baby shower!) and finished tiling the bathroom for us. She also brought a travel cot with her (it was a present) that DD could sleep in until we sorted out something more permanent.

He won't be making that mistake again - i have given him a list of jobs that he is working through!!

floozie that sounds awful! I can imagine it was quite frightening. Have you got sme lactulose? One of my friends swore by it for after the birth, but it might be worth trying now?

sheildbug it is funny what you were saying about sproglet knowing you were distressed and moving in a distressed way. Mine was doing this last night. DD was up in the night and was inconsolable, properly screaming and crying and nothing i did would calm her down, it was really distressing. the baby was doing somersaults all the way through, i don't know whether it was reacting to her or to me being stressed. It does seem to move around a lot when i am putting DD to bed, because we usually sing and stuff, which i have found really sweet, but last night was horrible, thinking they were both upset.... probably a taste of things to come!