10/10 Chats - Over Halfway There

[AbFabT]

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Hey Nymph- what a pain in the neck. I would get even and ask for a formal letter, addressed to you, by the company, explaining exactly what they want and why and what it is in accordance with. I would also ask them to explain in detail what format they require and ask for a sample as a template . Make as much work for them as they are for you.

The Company does not have to let your DH have paternity leave exactly for the 2 weeks after the birth, but they have to let him take it in the first few months and he doesn't have to take all 2 weeks at once. For example, my colleague is taking it for the 2nd 2 weeks after his baby was born as his MIL was around to help for the 1st 2 weeks iyswim.

If there are overriding business reasons why they won't let him off, they have to explain this in writing. Don't give up, thats what they want you to do.

Chin up x x x

Its not that they won't let him have the time off. tbh if he doesn't have the first two weeks there is no point (c-section on my own will not go well!). Its his job is so complex atm and too many staffing issues. I can't go into details as its pretty unique but I'm fuming & keep crying now as I'm so frustrated that I can't get him to sort it out & clear it up now. Am getting more wound up whilst waiting for him to call.

Ok, take some deep breaths and try to calmly recognise that there's nothing you can do until he calls you. Tell him firmly to sort it out (even writing the letter is required so all you have to do is sign it) and tell him its absolutely essential he gets the leave as the cs will cause you to have limited mobility and you need him more than his work needs him. In fact tell him that now also, you need his support more than work does. He can multi task and get some personal admin done, which includes pat leave. You've reminded me actually I need to get my DH to inform his employer also.

Im waiting for him to call but i know he has visitors & in meetings all day. Dont even know if has the texts.

Distraction techniques? what can you do while waiting? How about making some fudge?! I have a real thing for that at the moment....I might get the ingredients for it....

I have been getting very low blood sugar very easily so made scampi chips and peas- a massive pile that I could not hope to finish and, with eyes bigger than my stomach have also done baked banana with butterscotch sauce, which is sat on the side uneaten, I reckon I have enough room now .

What do you think of the name India?

I love the name India

Nymph- slapped legs for HR admin! They really are making an Issue of this. Deep breath and then just do the letter/form. You need you dh there when you want him. Hope it gets sorted soon.

I've still not bought much, but have some second hand bits and Moses basket etc from ds. Currently broke though so getting my HIP grant processed as quickly as I can!

I like India.

I don't cook, though have made strawberry flan & summer pudding this week. Am trying to read & have music playing but don't have the attention span. Dh still going to answer phone.

Just had text that my mam & dad are coming which won't help my mood. Kids walk all over them.

p~I was thinking of a funny story to tell Nymph to try and cheer her up while she's waiting and glanced outside to see my dog gayly tossing a pair of my knickers in the air and catching them, having a right old laugh. I cannot tell you how difficult it is to catch a knicker thief spaniel...

I had washing on the line in case you were wondering how he got a pair of knickers!

Sea shells, I too am broke pants isn't it?! Pay day was yesterday though! well for me anyway.

I really like the name India but was worried the ending with A wouldn't go with my surname that starts with A. Now I'm thinking stuff it as I don't like too many other names and am very stuck!

at the dog!

We have rain so my washing is in the dryer too lazy to bring the clothes maids in

Picking up dds soon. Won't get hold of dh til 6 ish now & then he won't be able to phone anyone

Sods law, but at least you can then make him put it No 1 on his list of things to do tomorrow?

He phoned about 10mins ago. Have asked for copies of all his emails with the details on and he went v quiet. Admitted he hadn't emailed the people who might know anything. He is attached to his phone so no reason he couldn't have. Gave him union number and told him to bring his emails & union info home with him. He had already got his usual thurs meetings covered so won't be tied up with them.

Bit calmer now.

Thanks for trying to distract me!

Nymph, I am astonished that you were asked such a thing. It's irrelevant given that you are married anyway. What a bunch of tossers!

So, sort of on that topic, it's my wedding anniversary tomorrow. 6 years. But DH has to be vague about that at work as he'd get raised eyebrows when people work out we weren't married when DS1 was born. It's still taboo (and illegal) here. But when I think about it, it wasn't that long ago that it was the same in the UK. Maybe just 50 years ago. Funny how things change and some people think it's okay to ask what they asked you nymph. I think I'm rambling now!

Happy sixth eighth Anniversary, ILGH!

Happy anniversary ILGH

We are having our 'got together' anniversary next week. Think we are going out for a meal as I saw somewhere nice when looking for a massage Not likely to be doing much for our wedding anniversary (October )

He is home & done loads of chasing. His other union was crap too but we think we have a solution.

Oh, has anyone else seen the boden sale now on thread? For those of you who know what you're having (apart from a baby that is..), there's some lovely stuff on mini boden. I had some credit with them. That's gone now. Got another scan on Sunday. I really hope she's still a girl who can wear these...

I have had the best day today, the big boss came into the office and told me I was 'doing well' today . Which in big boss speak means 'I've never had to speak with you on any other issue other than that time you fell over in front of me, I like that'. I also managed to get all of my work upto date and left the office knowing that other than those things I don't know about, nothing ominous should be waiting for me on my return on Monday.

Nymph I think that HR department need to go on a 'how to speak to pregnant women' course. How stupid!!! Get your union on them.

Seashells I know the broke feeling, it's not nice is it.

hermya that is a nice day! Especially the finished work part! How's the SPD? Are you ok with the travel still?

nymph No it's still quite painful, but I've found if I have a rest and sit down for half an hour/hour when I get into work I tend to recover to the point where I'm ok to carry on. I think I'm going to have to take it on a day by day basis and see how it goes.

I love those trousers ILGH! very cool. I hadn't looked at the sale..I will now .

Nymph I am at that request. Surely that's illegal?

Dilly, yay on the cotbed!

I just have to share with you my marvellous news - it's day two of toilet training and DS did two wees on the toilet for the first time ever!!! I'm so delighted. We've had to hold off on toilet training for a long time because of his mobility and he's never been able to use a potty, so it was straight to the toilet. I was really wondering how it would go - yesterday morning, we had two wet pants and one slight poo in the pants, then when I went to work in the afternoon DP put a nappy on him because he was taking him to our neighbours'. He had pull-ups this morning for playgroup as I didn't think it was fair to them this early and he did poo in them, but pants all afternoon and no accidents, apart from very slight damp patch just after dinner before I took him to toilet again. That was more info than you needed, wasn't it? . Sorry, just so pleased/amazed.

It's July. It's three months till the due date month!!!!! Even though it's still just under four for me - wow.

Happy anniversary ILGH. Id' better not move to wherever you are then - 15 years living in sin and two children out of wedlock . Think DP would drop dead from the heat in a day or so anyway!

Me again. This evening I got really excited about giving birth and have read through the labour section of my old pregnancy book. And I'm still excited!!! Now I want to reread the labour book from last time. I'm even reconsidering home birth if that was possible - the consultant did ask me if I was thinking about it this time because I told her I'd planned it last time. I was surprised when she said that and she did go on to say maybe hospital more advisable but I may ask her opinion again next time as I kind of got the feeling she just said it because I'd said I would go to hospital. She's a home birth specialist which is nice to find in a consultant.

That's great news Floozie well done to DS!

Nypmh I'm so shocked at DH's work... that's one of those 'write to the papers' moments.

WFH again ...

God you should have seen me last night, we have this neighbour who sits out on the front steps of the block and smokes...and the smoke drifts up into our home. I have been meaning to speak to him but last night at gone 12, I had been trying to sleep and he'd been out there smoking twice and I'm just lying in bed enveloped in fag smoke....well, you can imagine... on goes the robe (we should be grateful for that) and down the stairs I fly, pregnant outraged lady! He was v apologetic, he's a poor kid really (lives with his Dad, unemployed...) so..hopefully I will be living in a genuinely smoke free home from now on.

Not a good start to the day- got to school and the office staff were waiting for me to tell me a kid had turned up to school with measles do parents not think to keep them home? So spent half of morning on phone to mw for advice

O fanny... Sam have you looked measles up? 'What to Expect' basically says not to worry as you'll have either had the measles or the vaccination, plus, unlike rubella it doesn't seem to hurt l'il unborn babies. Hope this helps.

what did the midwife say sam? I hope she was able to reassure you. Not good at all that the parents sent them in.

I've been getting really sore hips at night, lying on top of a folded duvet had helped a bit but they were still hurting and waking me up a fair bit. But last night I ended up sleeping on an air mattress as DH's cold was keeping him (and me) awake and we had family staying so no spare beds. It was a revelation, no pain at all and I slept for 5 hours straight! Would it be crazy to put the air mattress (its a single one) on top of our double bed so that I can have pain free sleep but not have to sleep apart from DH (once his cold has cleared) ?!