10/10 Chats - Over Halfway There

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Hiya Hermya- no I didn't. I wish I had now!!

How about you ask your ILs if they mind if you both leave arrangements until after the baby is born as you really won't know how you feel until then. If they're laid back, I'm sure they won't mind as one way or the other they're going to get to see their grandchild .

hermya I was on a bit of a high after dd1 & she was an easy baby so I would have been up to it. Dd2 awful screamer so not up to polite company. I love the idea of semi hibernating this time. So take your pick!

hermya my IL's live at the other end of the country too, and I have got DH to agree that if they come down in the first few weeks they will stay in a b&b or with friends/ family and visit each day. Of course it might be fine in the end to have them to stay / go up there but as we won't know until we know how the birth went / how we are coping, I thought it made sense to plan to make life as easy for us as possible. These are in laws that I get on brilliantly with by the way and who I know will be supportive. My main worry actually is that if they stayed with us and things were too much for me then it could strain an otherwise good relationship. My parents have already said they think it is too much pressure for us if they stay with us (secretly I think they want their beauty sleep ) . That said, if you could get enough privacy to relax/ recover as needed at their house I guess it might be fine.
Its so hard isn't it, not being able to really know how it will be afterwards.

elsa poor you, not fun at the end of the day. DH has a 4x4 and we have noticed that we encounter similarly bizarrely agressive behaviour from time to time. It frustrates me that people make judgements based on the car and then drive badly / rudely/ dangerously in reaction to that. Hope you are feeling relaxed and recovered now.

I've just booked flights to go away for a few days in just over a weeks time the airline says I need to bring 'written permission' from my gp to fly. The problem is I am registered with GP in my married surname, but my passport is still in my maiden name (I never seem to have long enough between trips to get organised and change it) so my flights are also in my maiden name. Do you think it will be ok if I take passport, marriage certificate and the doctors note?

Hermya - Personally, I wouldn't think about going anywhere that far for about two months after the baby is born. There is a saying the first six weeks are the most disorienting/worst and I think that's true. The first long trip I went on was to DP's dad's, a three hour drive away (I drove cos DP can't), three months and a bit after DS was born - just under two if you count it from the time he came out of hospital. If you do need bf support, you may not want to be taken away from it two weeks after the baby is born. But as others have said, maybe best not to make any firm arrangements until the baby is here - you're loads younger than me so you may have more energy than I have, or did with DS - I was about 10 years older than you are now even then. And if there's help on offer down there, it may outweigh other factors. Equally though, if you can get them up to help you in the home - maybe even better.

I found some surprisingly nice mat clothes in Peacocks yesterday and now have a pair of long shorts/three quarter trousers, and two t-shirts for £24. I was very pleased. I'm also eyeing up the JoJo Maman Bebe sale online.

Seashells what was the job for? When will you know?

Shieldbug that's good about the fibroids. Also, I regularly fail to care about cleaning the bathroom . I do the toilet, I should point out.

Katy, I prefer Malachi of those three names. My DS has an unusual name but I don't mind spelling it (it's actually phonetic but foreign so people wouldn't necessarily get that) as I like it enough for it not to bother me. I've had a lifetime of spelling my surname.

Thanks for the advice guys, I'll probably wait until he's actually here before we decided anything. But at the moment, I'm leaning towards staying put. It'll be easier and less stressful for others to travel and plus they won't have just pushed a human out of them and are then dealing with the fallout of that one.

Morning all- got the joiner in today, except the hinges haven't arrived yet for the doors he's fitting.....they're meant to be here before 10. I cannot find the TV remote either. I have no idea what I have done with it.

Katy86- I forgot to comment on your name ideas!

I really like Harvey and we would like this too if we have a boy except we had a dog called Harvey who died 3 years ago and I don't think it would be well received by family as they would think we were naming the child after a dog! I too did not think of the Jordan connection, but if your name really is Katy, then you might think its a little too close?

I'm not too sure about Kacey.

I'd never heard of Malachi and its growing on me . Do you think it would end up getting shortened to Mal or stay as it is? I like the long version.

Just to pile in on the 'travel with baby' thing Hermya my Dad's side of my family were expecting DH, LO and I to go to my Mum for Xmas and were going to hire a house near there (o god!) and I am going to tell them that I'm goin' nowhere, bebe! I just want that first Christmas at home with our new family. Anyone who wants to visit is welcome but they'd better bring their own lunch . As my Mum said - last Christmas people were snowed in all over - is that really a sensible time to travel with a brand new baby?!

more later - 432 tonnes of work to do now

Going to walk dogs now to get away from the smell of the perfume sample I just sniffed- urghh- Alien by Thierry Mugler... got to throw it away!!

My MIL is very cautious and polite and will only come over when invited and I know her first move would be to book into a local B&B so not to impose.

My mother on the other hand wants to be 'within 5 minutes of me at the hospital' 'around because I need to understand how invaluable having her around would be as she was a midwife 35 years ago for about 5 years and stopped because she found mothers to be 'too selfish' so she can make sure that the hospital does things correctly and then be in my way afterwards and my father will be as helpful as a chocolate tea pot, in fact would be positively burdensome. They really do mean well but I don't think they get how they come across. I know that if they stayed at my rented house I would find them totally in the way. I'm a bit of a loner too and do not fancy having people actually staying. I'm like that anyway sans baby!

The perfume sachet is making me sneeze now...going for fresh air!!!

Still can't find the remote...

Drs in 2 hours

Katy, Malachi/Malachy and Harvey are great - Kacey, for me, is a little too girly for a boy, and Kacey sounds too much like your own name too. Katie Price doesn't enter my radar so the Harvey connexion wasn't there until it was mentioned, but now it's mentioned, I guess I'd find it a bit off-putting. Though it's not such an unusual name that it would only get associated with Katie Price. Just my humble opinion though.

My ILs are in the teaching profession, and have jokingly asked if we can have the baby during half-term so they can come visit (they live several hundred miles away) for an extended stay in their week off! Bless! I think they'd be more of a help than a hindrance and we'd gladly have them stay, but I can't promise to time the birth of my child with half-term (though baby is due right around then, so it could happen!).

Hey all - been away on holiday for a week to chillax. Had a great time on an island in the adriatic v. warm and remote (1 hotel) so only a few tourists and lots of lazing by the beach and pool with a book which was just what I needed!

Katy I know a girl Casie and a boy Casey and prefer it to the other two.

My family are all local and live within 15 mins of us but Hubs family are very dispersed abroad and MIL lives 3+ hr drive away. She wants to come and stay for a week after baby has come... I'm not keen but think I'll suggest she stays with my mum and dad so can be near for a week but not right on top of us!

25 weeks yesterday and am starting to panic as have not started decorating nursery; only bought 1 pack of bodysuits; house stil a building site.

I hope its going well with the doctors Nymph- TBH I do think it sounds like work is going to be a bit too much- but if I were you I'd give the office work a go to prevent being put on mat leave early. thinking of you x x x

I've got my well note. Dr was a bit but will see what I can get sorted tomorrow. If they don't get the heat sorted for me I may have difficulty staying but that will be their fault & may have to have me at home on full pay.

ivy NOt bought anything yet at all. NOt bothering with nursery for a while as baby won't be inthere anyway.

nymph is it possible for you to negotiate working from home at all or not visiting the office that is furthest away? The time/effort in just getting to and from work can be so draining and this would give you more "down-time" in your normal working days.

The to & from the further office is included in working hours and if I break on the way I can include that too. Should only be 1/2 a month I go there anyway. Can't work from home as i can't access any systems apart from email. Already cutting my work in half to just do office work. will have to see how it goes & maybe bring everything forward a week or two.

Good luck with the work thing nymph I am about to slope off and wfh until next Tuesday - commuting on the tube in this heat is horrible.

in other news a friend just texted to offer us a cotbed!!!! Woohoo! I think I am more relieved about not having to shop/make a decision than not having to spend the money!! Ivy I'm with you love, have bought about 3 t-shirts for 6-9 months but nothing else...nuff said...

Losing the plot over dh paternity leave. There are so many things complicating it & he is far too busy to do anything about chasing up the people who don't reply.

dilly at the relief at not having to shop, thats how I have felt about the few bits we've been offered (couple of slings and the 'family' crib); even though I've budgetted for these expenses, it was a big relief as I'm not a big fan of shopping! I have hardly anything yet either, a couple of babygrows, a bib and a rather lovely baby towel which was given as a gift. I am hoping baby will be in with us for at least the first few months so not done anything to get the nursery ready yet either.

nymph I really hope your work can come up with a solution that will be manageable for you

gosh nymph just took a look at your paternity leave thread, that's shocking

Really was the final straw over this though.So many things I can't get answers on. Starting to feel like telling him not to bother

nymph, crikey, that really is shocking! Hope it gets sorted!

nymph I hope you managed to get things sorted is just extra stress you don't need.

Katy love Harvey and Malachi is growing on me. We have a Kasey at school who is the one of the naughtiest kids I have ever met so that puts me off. Being a teacher is not helful when choosing names as I teach about 180 kids a week so have connotations with lots of names- and also see lots of the same ones.

I too have bought very little- a towel and a sleeping bag and we haven't even got a finished house, never mind nursery! Trying not to stress!! Tho I can't wait to get shoppping- I am the opposite I would feel deprived if people gave me things- thought it would help money wise

nymph just read your thread about paternity leave - that is shocking! How very odd of them to ask for that.

I've not bought a thing yet but we are lucky to be getting most stuff from my family as ther are already 8 grandchildren in the family on my side!

I did get a present yesterday though from a work colleague who was leaving - he's just become a granddad, and his wife is very good at sewing and she's made baby a little sleeping bag suit in broderie Anglaise - it's so cute! It was really lovely of him (and her) especially as I've not met his wife!