10/10 Chats - Over Halfway There

[AbFabT]

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Elsa that is pants. How useless are the NHS? Is the scan at 36 weeks your next one? What about all the appts that are meant to take place in between? Will they have to be with the elusive mw? Is there any way you can find other pg women in the area and find out how they got around this problem? Hope this can get resolved. You most certainly are not being unreasonable- sounds like you really have been given hopeless care so far.

Can you not get the MW changed? Do you have a sympathetic gp you can cry at?

Oh dear Elsa - very frustrating. Can you sign on with a new GP who has a different midwife attached to the surgery?

Aw, Elsa. Hope things work out. She does sound utterly useless, as does the system of her two day working week and being on only every other week and cancelling if on call - what???! I wouldn't tar all the NHS with the same brush though, sounds like she's just lazy, and that particular practice is unworkable. You get them everywhere.

I've just had a call from the new replacement NCT lady, she was SO apologetic about my previous experience, said she is appalled that I was told the cat wouldn't be moved out of the room, and that she has lodged a complaint! She's found space on another course for me - so I wouldn't have to be with the cat lady at all (very thoughtful of her, I think). Only issue being it's in the next town, so not quite as easy to get to (the first one I could easily walk to, this one, not), so I'd have the hassle (and cost) of getting the bus. And if my new NCT friends all live the other side of town, and I am hoping to make some new mummy friends for after the births, then I'll constantly be having to make a bigger trip than I would were I to stay local and most likely meet new parents all within close distance of here. Oh what to do.
NCT lady was lovely, said I could think about it, and I'd get a refund easily if I decided against. Just goes to show what a completely different experience you get when you deal with one person as opposed to another, even if they work at the same place!

Hiya- to answer the questions in order:

The NHS appears to be rubbish I agree.

Yes the scan at 36 weeks is the next one despite the recommendation of the last scan to have one at 32 weeks and its not at that time because of waiting lists, just an idiot doctor I think.

I don't know about the antenatal appointments in between, so I will contact the GP clinic to find out what they want to do given that I have complained about the mw.

If the appointments are with that mw, it will be rather uncomfortable for both of us as I have now complained about her.

Apparently the clinic have had problems with this mw, but as she hasn't actually 'punched anyone' (quoting my GP) its hard for them to do much hence why he encouraged me to write in and complain.

The MW is the only one linked to my surgery and is not part of a team as everyone at the hospital seems to think. She is part of a team for the local area and if I was at another surgery then I could see someone else.

My GP surgery is linked to my work and I do not know the rules and regs about changing to another as the bonus is little difficulty in getting appointments (with a doctor) and they are the specialists linked to my work. They kind of 'contract out' the mw care. But not privately- they use the local NHS trust facilities.

I am going to email the practice manager with the latest in my saga and see what she recommends......

x x x

dontstopmenow - every time I see your username, I get that song in my head (and my friend and I had a dance routine to it so I am going through the moves each time too)! Thanks a lot!!!

Elsa that is really frustrating! I have to say I've not been too impressed with the hospital - being told different things by different people all the time. HOpe that you get it sorted out soon.

I've emailed NCT about classes - all the ones on the list are during the day and really long (18 hours+) which I don't want to do. I want a short, evening or weekend one. I'm complicating it by wanting to do a course near where we are hopefully moving to, so not actuallyliving there at the moment! I'll have to see what they say....

Had a lovely weekend with my sisters and we went to a spa on Saturday which was fab. Got to use my new maternity tankini and spent a lovely relaxing. Baby has been kicking away so much more over the past week - and DH has finally felt it which he was very excited about!

Hope everyone else is ok!

hi ladies,

sorry to hear that some of you are feeling unwell!! and elsa that is just awful, good luck with the response from the manager.

I have been absent from MN for a while because I just haven't had time, but also don't seem to have achieved anything????? where does all the time go?????

I am going to visit mum (and get pampered) in Valencia for 12 days tomorrow and can't wait!! so I will not be updating for a while.

when we start the new thread can it please start with 10/10 so that I can find you all when I return.

Tee Hee - sorry AbFabT! If its any consolation it does it to me too! It was just on the CD when I was thinking of a username! Excellent song though.

Am currently being neurotic. Have got myself convinced that my blood pressure is high - no evidence at all for this but still... I think I will be neurotic all the way through this pregnancy - comes from working 12 hour shifts then when i have days off, I have too much time for thinking, even though I should be writing a presentation for uni
Have a midwife appt on Wednesday so she can check BP then anyway.

Does anyone else see little dust bits floating through their vision or is that just me?! Am sure there is a good name for them but i don't know it.

mamjo are you going to watch the Valencia GP? I was hoping to go to the British GP this year (I usually go) but it was too expensive this time. Just as well, since I would not want to fly across now.

sorry mamjo meant to also say have a fantastic time with lots of relaxing and pampering.

I've been having a tidy this morning & amgetting panicy about where we are going to put everything! The study which will be babys room has the airing cupboard but is full of bedding. The room will only just be big enough for a single bed & not much else. Don't know where we can put everything. I keep gutting & chucking but doesn't seem to be working!

nymph I know how that feels- we combined the contents of a flat and a house when we got married (and both of us are rubbish at chucking things out). We have filled 2 attics and a spare room in relatives' houses and still don't know how we will manage to fit a nursery and associated equipment in! That's why we are trying to sell up and move, but still no luck.

We haven't finished working on the house yet which doesn't help. Need to get downstairs sorted properly which will decide what storage we will have there. Cellars still need doing & one will be a living area so will have storage. We will have loads of shelves on the landing too so the books will be unpacked at last (hopefully that will be soon!)

Don't want to move after all our work but will have to if we have another baby after this one.

dontstopmenow, at least we're both having such a good time!

mamjo, have a great holiday.

We spent some of the weekend de-junking and rearranging things - starting to feel a bit more spacious, but we do still have a heck of a lot of stuff in one small apartment! Definitely have to move if/when we have a second child, and even for a solo toddler, this place is less than ideal. Saving REALLY hard to majorly reduce the mortgage so we should be in a good position when this baby is a year old to move. Until then, we'll just have to manage.

afternoon all, we started the nursery on sun! as its our only spare room and filled with lots of stuff (its quite big) we figured we best make a start so like you nymph and abfab we dejunked and rearranged, making a start on painting next weekend, strting to feel very real!

Its nice to hear so many of us in the same boat with loads of stuff stored, little available room and DIY needing doing! Anyway here's some positive news......drum roll
Just as I?m plucking up the enthusiasm to email the practice manager I got a call from the regional head midwife (I can?t remember her exact job title) who wanted to check that I?d had my referral to the hospital- said yes and told her the experience. She said, right, well at least you?ve been seen so there?s no urgent need for you to be seen right now and a head mw called June will be calling me next week (when she?s back from leave) to discuss next steps and arrange an appointment. She was very pleasant and apologised profusely and confirmed that I should not be having to organise my own ante-natal care. I am sooo hopeful that I may be sorted from around the back end of next week- fingers crossed. I will still email the practice manager to let her know the next steps as the GP surgery have committed to inviting me over to discuss the complaint.

At last! Progress! And progress progressed by someone other than me!

I've just looked her up and she's clinical midwife specialist. and the one thats due to call me is matron maternity outpatient services. cool.

hooray elsa so pleased things are making progress.

Thats great news elsa at last someone is taking ownership!!

Shieldbug we do not yet have tickets for the Valencia GP but are trying to organise something through a few contacts out there so fingers crossed.

I now what you all mean about the decluttering - we started weeks ago but seem to have more than we started with.

We only have a 2 bed flat aswell and are wondering how to get around the guest situation? at the moment I am thinking of putting a bed settee in the nursery so that we can move in there and let visitors have our room. I don' like the thought of people in the lounge because you have to go through it to get to the kitchen and if I am up in the night with the baby I want to be able to get around the house. what are you guys doing?

Good news, Elsa!

We have a two-bed, but are keeping the spare room as a spare room for the first year (depending on how the co-sleeping goes!). Our baby will be in with us in our not very big room (though the bed is huge). We want to keep the spare room for when DH's parents visit, as they'd come for weekend stays (they live a way away), and also I think my mum might do overnighters too. We'll be flexible and see how everything goes, but I didn't want our child in the spare room anyway, as I am all for this co-sleeping lark!

Oooh Elsa hooray! Lovely and no need for smacked legs...

We have a 2 bed flat too, tho we have a socking great futon in the living room (it's ace, 6 ft long so lovely long settee for sleeping on ) tbh I'm still erring towards the 'cot on wheels' option so bub can be in with us or shunted off to the boys' room (as the DSS are only here 4 nights a month max BUT their room is all theirs full of bunkbeds and toys and must remain unchanged or all hell will break loose...) if necessary/post 6 months. Maybe I'm wrong...don't know... Having said all that we don't get many overnight visitors! Maybe we smell funny....

We don't get many overnight visitors but have never been in a position to have them. When we finish the cellar it will have a bed settee so can be used as a bed if neccessary.

elsa well done, hope this is it getting sorted

LOL Dilly- I will remember smacked legs when I'm getting frustrated! My mum used to whisper in my ear 'do you want red legs' when I was little to deter offensive behaviour. I don't actually remember getting red legs....

Mamjo- I agree with you, its probably a great idea to put the sofa bed in the baby's room- it would feel really weird having guests in the sitting room!

We're in the middle of building a house, so we effectively currently have 2 bedrooms, but should have more if that makes sense. I'm not sure I could do co-sleeping as my DH is the world's lightest sleeper and I would worry about the baby a lot being smothered or something. My MIL has offered to buy a crib which I think would be handy for the first 10 weeks as we'll be in bucks in the week where the crib can be and up north at weekends where the bulk of stuff will be. I seriously don't think I could stay in the rented place down south past Christmas as the kitchen drives me nuts and I love my half built house up north. It would mean I'd be curtailing seeing DH by 2 nights a week, but I'd be at home with friends and family nearby. I may of course totally change my mind.

Thursday is 24 weeks for us, and that was the stage at which we'd said we'd start to buy stuff. maybe I'd been filing it away in my mind- but I'm actually quite looking forward to the buying thing now! I'm also on a bit of a high following the mw call but am continually reminding myself not to set myself up for a fall!!!

Umm... I wasn't going to post about this as I'm sure everything's fine really but...well..is anyone else still small in the tummy dept? I'm 22 weeks and quite often people say 'Blimey...I didn't realise you were pg' or 'Aren't you small?' (they then go on to say 'So was I' which is nice...) at 20 weeks I know all was fine with the baby of course, but I thought my tummy would have 'popped' by now and I'd have a bump, I still just have that low down bulge below the tummy button (which looks like premenstrual bloat!). Most of my clothes still fit round the waist (though they were baggy before). So...anyone else a bit mini? I'm not complaining for myself as of course it's very comfortable still, only worried about Sproggles.